“NOW MORE THAN EVER” 1

“NOW MORE THAN EVER”
THE LAIR OF LADY MONSTER
Public Displays of
Sex and Sexuality
During the Halloween
season, there is a lot of flesh being exposed.
Several events are planned that are fetishoriented
and have a Halloween theme. For
instance, in Columbus we have Trauma,
Detroit has Theatre Bizarre, San Francisco has
Masquerotica – to name a few.
Many Halloween costumes have “sexy” in the
title, and some fun with memes has come into
play with this, like the Sexy Tampon costume, or
Sexy Cockroach. Some have brought up the topic
of shaming those who choose to be sexy during
the Halloween holiday season.
For some, this may be the one time of the year
that they can dress sexy or revealing, where
they feel comfortable enough to be exposed.
They look forward to it, and get turned on by the
idea that they can be freer with their body and
sexual expressions in public. However, the issue
of availability from women who dress sexy or
revealing can turn a holiday celebration into a
painful memory.
Let’s think about some things that may have
come up, for the next time you choose to be sexy
in public.
Consent and Shame
Something that happens during the big
Halloween events where fetish and spooky are
commingled, is a lack of consent. Groping,
grabbing, ogling, lewd remarks, judgments,
boundary crossing, jealousy and insecurities
abound. People forget to ask, and just do.
They see exposed body parts and don’t grasp
the human condition. This includes shaming
someone who may, in your opinion, have a
flawed body, is an older age or noticeably out of
their element.
Exhibitionism
Public displays of sex and sexuality as a
lifestyle choice have always existed. Finding
places that are open to others can be a challenge.
They do exist, whether in the underground
of people’s homes or an actual public space
devoted to sexual play. When, as a couple, do
you agree to move from a fantasy of sex in
public to actually setting up a scenario to be
sexual in public? Does it end up being as sexy
and fulfilling as you wished? Did you spend time
communicating all the pros and cons, possible
conflicts, or were you just hit with a rush of
18 spontaneous libido lightning? How far did you
go? How did others around you react? Did you
have the consent of your voyeurs?
Role Playing
Most of the manufactured costumes available
for the Halloween season look more like roleplaying
costumes than anything from Halloweens
past. Role playing may not be a regular sexual
act, or expression for you. It can be a doorway
for a single person, to dress up in a costume
that reflects their sexual interests. They can
meet someone who finds this particular costume
a huge turn-on. Cos-play (costume play) is
becoming more of a mainstream and known
expression and lifestyle. It merges desire, fantasy,
exhibitionism and community for your character.
At some Cos-Play conventions, being part of a
sexually playful environment is a highlight for
spending the money to attend, creating a unique
costume and engaging in sex as your character.
I could write chapters about all of the nuances
of public sex and sexuality - what is current
in society, what it means to be open to it, and
accepting of others who are comfortable with
their body and sexual expressions.
For more insight, I suggest looking
at the following books:
Exhibitionism For The Shy by Carol Queen
Public Sex by Pat Califia
The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Janet W.
Hardy
If you have a question or a topic you would like
to have covered in this column, please go to:
http://ladymonstersex.info and click on the link
for the Google form. It is 100% anonymous.
Thank you.
(Lady Monster illustration by W. Ralph Walters.
www.wralphwalters.com )
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