Delaying Sexual Debut

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Notes: Sex is a normal, natural part of life. As human beings, we have been given a long period of time to prepare our minds, bodies and hearts for the beauty of a positive sexual experience. We need to give our teenagers comprehensive sexual education to ensure they have the knowledge necessary to make informed choices. Shame: A sense of shame about sex and sexuality is reinforced during puberty. If we communicate openly and honestly about sex, about the joy and beauty of it, about the mechanics of it and about the dangers of it more teenagers would choose to honour sex as sacred. From the Judeo- Christian scriptures: How fair and pleasant you are, O loved one, delectable maiden! You are stately as a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters. I say I will climb up the palm tree and lay hold of its branches. Oh, may your breasts be like the clusters of the vine, and the scent of your breath like apples, and your kisses like the best wine that goes down smoothly gliding over lips and teeth. I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let us go forth into the fields, and lodge in the villages; let us go out early into the vinyards and see where the vines have budded, whether the grape blossoms have opened. There I will give you my love 3 . This is a challenge to us all to engage in beautiful sexual relationships. If we communicate openly and honestly about sex - the joy, beauty, mechanics, and dangers - teenagers will be more likely to choose to honour sex as sacred. Social/environmental/economic factors • zThe concept that girls should be virgins and boys must have experience. Is this the norm in your culture and how can it be challenged? (Look at concepts of masculinity and femininity and what is associated with these roles). • zPower dynamics; sex in return for something else e.g. money/grades/schooling/job/ clothes/airtime (credit) on cell-phones • zFamily situations where sexual abuse is an issue. Self-esteem/body image/metal health • zPeer pressure and pressure from a partner • zValue of your body and realize that it is something that has to carry you through life, love yourself. • zSelf-confidence in yourself and not needing a partner to complete yourself © INERELA 2012 Resources • zWhat sex education are they already having and from where? • zWhat misinformation are they getting and from where? • zWhat young people services are available in the area? • zUnderstand that young people may be sexually active with sex and need to be able to speak to someone when they do in a non-judgmental way. 6
Discussion: Try to get the group to discuss when they debuted and what thoughts they have about it, do they regret it? Was it a negative or positive experience, how many people are still with their first person, how many waited till they were married, what pressure did they feel under and pressure from whom? • zWhat age do they think young people start having sex in their community? • zAt what age do they think they should start to address the issue of sex with young people? Are there social/economic factors that are being placed on young people pushing them towards having sex at a young age? If yes how do you address these issues? Supporting people living with HIV Young people are vulnerable, where a lack of education can put them in harms way – Is the price of an awkward conversation worth your child and others health? Young people living with HIV need to know how they can have sex in a responsible and healthy way and to know they are entitled to the same experiences as everyone else. Young people living with HIV in the family – need support to show them ways to engage in sex in a safer way and that sex is not a way in which to seek attention or to act out. Empowering Communities Is there a safe space for young people, where they can chat to someone about issues, sex and prevention in a non-disclosure private environment? Activity Ask participants how they can design and encourage a space for young people to talk about sex. • zWhere, what will it look like, who will be involved etc © INERELA 2012 Make more information available in place where young people are. Open up the lines of communication in a positive way that does not show sex to be a sin, but it is something that requires thought and is a big step. 7
Page 1 and 2: DELAYING sexual debut © INERELA 20
Page 3 and 4: Note to the facilitator: Young peop
Page 5: Give the participants a good 20-30
Page 9 and 10: Reflection and Notes © INERELA 201
Page 11 and 12: Reflection and Notes © INERELA 201

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