Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
Untitled - ScholarWorks Home - California State University, Northridge
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rn "It's a beautiful day," my sister says, cheerful. Hopeful.<br />
tf "Enjoy yourself, mother!"<br />
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My mother smiles. It's sleepy but she at least acknowledges<br />
Charity. She looks around the room and sighs. Thoughtful. Perhaps<br />
she's pondering the absurdity of my sister's 'beautiful day' comment.<br />
The beauty of which, much like a diamond, she may judge solely by<br />
the size, clarity, and brilliance of the lone patch of light on the floor of<br />
her dingy and hopeless room. My mother looks thinner and older and<br />
even more confused than yesterday.<br />
"Yes, mother, do," I say.<br />
Tucker does a phenomenal job with my sister. In three weeks he suc<br />
ceeds in extricating her from the bed. I make fun of the meteor size imprint she<br />
leaves behind. Tucker's camera crew shows up to document the 'Before.' He is<br />
able to get the cement slabs that are her feet into her square waffle slippers and<br />
they shuffle hand in hand around our tiny apartment. Tucker congratulates<br />
Charity on every step, but when he does he looks at the camera, not at her. I<br />
want to puke.<br />
My mother bathes and touches up her roots. Who knew? Who knew<br />
that underneath the grime of her life, washed away in a cracked tub with limey<br />
spigots, was a woman who looked normal, almost pretty. Clean. She is sober<br />
and maniacally cheerful. A truly unbearable development. She is a pile of<br />
nervous energy and cooks and cleans non-stop. She shadows me throughout<br />
the apartment asking frantic questions like, do you need anything? Do you<br />
want me to do that? Are you hungry? What can I do to help? Benny? Benny?<br />
Benny? I ask her if she's on crack and her eyes puddle up. I retch a couple of<br />
times loudly which makes her cry. She's down to 12 hours of sleep a day.<br />
Tucker stops lisping. It turns out the primary cause of his lisp is the<br />
Invisiline braces he wears. When he removes them his lips close and you can<br />
kind of have a normal conversation with him. One night we're alone at the<br />
kitchen table. He's through for the day with my sister, and mom is taking her<br />
late afternoon, early evening nap. Through the long stretches of silence<br />
between us l rock on my lopsided naugahyde-padded chair. He clears his<br />
throat several times like he's really working up the courage to talk to me.<br />
Finally, he asks me about change. He strokes his shirt. \\\\ '}ou're all<br />
He strokes the glittery 'V.' He Looks down at the<br />
"'o� e.<br />
glittery 'V' and then at me. He freaks me<br />
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