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S- 9. circus act, but I know you won't be staying and soon enough mother
a will tire of sobriety and sleep deprivation and my sister will go back to
::::s
D. well, the Island of Stinky Bed. And hopefully, collectively, this family
s: will put an end to one branch of the family tree."
"Benny. My God. My poor Benny. You really are a hard case. So
smart. So sure of yourself. There is much that can be done for you. All
you have to do is ask. To want it. To reach out. Do you want it, Benny?"
Tucker actually bows his head and clasps his hands in his lap. This is too
much.
In a final fwap crescendo I stand. And walk away.
Tucker and my sister get married. A hubbub of great proportions
ensued. Charity Roberts, and her angelic glow on Tucker's infomercial, was a
hit with the super fat crowd. Tucker, no slouch, it turns out, to self-promotion,
waited until my sister was down to 500 pounds before proposing. He showed
up in his best denim, fringe-braided, cut-offs and tank top and three man cam­
era crew, and real prissy-like perched himself on my sister's island. The island,
since it would be featured on television, had been custom fitted with pink satin
sheets and strewn with fuzzy pink heart shaped pillows. One large pillow had
been obscenely customized with Tucker's likeness blowing a kiss. The day
before the proposal I wedged a cigarette butt between a loose square of the
woven material in the pillow, so it looked like Tucker was smoking hard-core.
Charity was not amused and said I'd ruined her pillow. I felt bad when she
cried and agreed to try harder not to be such an asshole. During the proposal
shoot I stayed off camera and made vulgar noises. I was finally ushered out of
the house by my mother's screams of abortion regrets, cock sucking bastard
complaints, and worthless mother fucks. At least that's what I heard. My
mother cried throughout each bogus proposal.
Six months passed between the proposal and the wedding. I didn't
think Tucker would actually go through with it, but Tucker's audience got
antsy. Tucker put Charity on a high protein diet and my stupid fat sister got
down to 370 pounds. The nuptials were taped and infomercialized on a creamy
beach paseo complete with gazebo. I was not invited. I did not attend. The
man,
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