aca PH

inion
The Daily Collegian
Thursday, April 8
About those better academics
By all odds, academics has been our
overriding consideration in the
change to a semester calendar. "
—University Provost Edward D.
Eddy, March 13, 1981.
Indeed, one of the administration's
main arguments for the semester
calendar was that the change would
improve the University's intellectual
climate.
Has there been a foreshadowing of
improvement? Well, not really.
Last month, the Liberal Arts Curricular
Affairs Committee unanimously
approved a proposal for basic English
composition courses under the new
calendar and sent the proposal to the
Faculty Senate.
There's only one problem — the
committee wasn't pleased with the
proposal.
Even though the committee didn't
like the proposal, its members approved
the plan because they wanted
the proposal forwarded to the Senate's
Curricular Affairs Committee so "other
departments can get on with their
business."
Many departments were waiting to
see what the English department
would do before submitting their curriculum
and program revisons to the
senate's Curricular Affairs Committee.
And the deadline for all departments
to submit curriculum and program
revisions to the commmittee is
April 23. Hence the great rush.
The department's initial proposal
suggested that students take English
15, a basic composition course in their
freshman year and English 220, a
more in-depth composition course in
their junior year.
But, because of lack of funds and
*
faculty, that proposal never became a
reality. The original proposal would
have cost the University more money
because the entire teaching load for
the second composition course would
be put on University Park.
So, the department settled for another
proposal. The new proposal will
offer English 15 to replace English 10.
English 15 will be an intensified version
of 10, restructured to take advantage
of the 14-week semester. The
second half of the requirement may be
fulfilled by any of four courses at the
200 level anytime after the beginning
of a student's fourth semester.
Members of the liberal arts committee
think the reduction of quality
comes in the number of composition
courses for some students. Under the
term calendar, many students took
English 10 and 20 and then another
writing course.
According to the department's first
proposal, students would not have
been able to use technical or business
writing to fulfill their basic composition
requirements.
Because the English proposal has
been submitted to the faculty senate's
Curricular Affairs Committee, other
deparments are probably preparing
their course revisions now. Ideally,
the only consideration in their proposals
is providing quality academics.
But this is the real world. This is a
state-related University. We all know
what inflation means. We shouldn't
kid ourselves.
Apparently, money and faculty
manpower has become the overriding
concern in the change to the" semester
calendar despite all the pedagogical
talk about providing a better learning
environment.
Thursday April 8, 1982
Phil Gutis
Editor
Sharon Taylor
Managing Editor
John Allison
Editorial Editor
2 * M '81
THr-p/tiW aiie&tAw
M\
daily Collegian
©1982 Collegian Inc.
Paul Rudoy
Business Manager
Judy Smith
Asst. Business Manager
Michael Conklln
Office Manager
The Daily Collegian's editorial opinion is
determined by its five-member Board of
Opinion, with the editor holding final responsibility.
Opinions expressed on this'
page are not necessarily those of Collegian
Inc. or The Pennsylvania State University.
Letters Policy: The Daily Collegian encourages
comments on news coverage, editorial
policy and University affairs. Letters should
be typewritten, double-spaced, signed by
no more than two people and not longer
than 30 lines. Students' letters should include
the term, major and campus of the
writer. Letters from alumni should include
the major and year of graduation of the
writer. All writers should provide their address
and phone number for verification of
the letter.
The Collegian reserves the right to edit
letters for length, and to reject letters if they
are libelous or do not conform to standards
of good taste. Because, of the numbers of
letters received, the Collegian cannot guarantee
publication of all the letters It receives.
Mail letters to: The Daily Collegian; 126
Carnegie Building; University Park, Pa.
16802. Names may be withheld on request.
Complaints: News and editorial complaints
should be presented to the editor. Business
and advertising complaints should be presented
to the business manager. If the
complaint is not satisfactorily resolved,
grievances may be filed with the Accuracy
and Fair Play Committee of Collegian Inc.
Information on filing grievances is available
from Gerry Lynn Hamilton, executive secretary,
Collegian Inc.
About the Collegian: The Daily Collegian
and The Weekly Collegian are published by
Collegian Inc., an independent, non-profit
corporation with a board of directors composed
of students, faculty and professionals.
Students of The Pennsylvania State
University write and edit both papers and
solicit advertising material for them. The
Daily Collegian is published Monday
through Friday and distributed at the University
Park campus. The Weekly Collegian
is mailed to Commonwealth campus students,
parents of students, alumni and
other subscribers who want to keep abreast
of University news.
The truly needy?
For four years of an expense-paid vacation in
a beautiful valley with athletic facilities, a
lively bar scene, four pools, movies galore and
cultural events, enroll in the Pennsylvania
State University . . . Pennsylvania's first land
grant university . ..
Is this what higher education is all about? Is
college a four-year vacation for students to freeload
off the federal and state government??
Many people would say yes. They maintain
that President Reagan is right — waste and
fraud are rampant in student aid programs and
the branching student aid programs need
trimmed.
On the other side of the coin, there are those
who say that student aid programs can't absorb
any more cuts without depriving thousands of
worthy students of an education.
Who's right and who's wrong? Or is there
some middle-ground? Should student aid programs
be spared the axe while other programs
are asked to pull in their belts? Do most
students abuse financial aid programs? Or are
they merely trying to cope in the ever-escalating
world of college tuition?
On Tuesday, April 13, The Daily Collegian will
devote its Op-Ed to financial aid. If you would
like to submit a letter (one page, doublespaced)
or a forum (two to three pages, doublespaced),
please bring it to 126 Carnegie by
Saturday, April 10 at 5 p.m.
The life and times of a real cool guy named Joe
Special to The Daily Collegian: selected
excerpts from the forthcoming
book , "Joe Guy: A Fictional Character
in Realityland. "
Chapter 1
It was a cathedral sky, pale blue and
delicate fluff in two dimensions. They
lay far below it, horizontal on a basically
round planet. Millions of thin, green
grass blades lay beneath them.
"I think I shall be a .. . PALEONTO-
LOGIST! !!" Karl (with a K) said.
Joe Guy looked at the dinosaurs in the
clouds, not at his brother.
"And part-time Pope," Karl (with a
K) said.
"I wanted to'be the Pope but now I
want to be the President," Joe Guy
said. "The Pope can't get married and
I'm gonna marry someone like Debbie
Reynolds and dance a lot. And I can still
help the world as President."
They lay still for a while more and let
the planet carry them around like a
mammoth carousel. They pointed to the
Brontosauruses, Tyrannasauruses, Stegasauruses
and Triceratops that
plodded by smoothly above them.
"Wouldn't it be great if we had arms
long enough to reach through them?"
Karl (with a K) asked.
Joe Guy nodded.
Chapter 4
Joe Guy sat on a folding chair in the
dark, hot gym and watched the crowd
flow out of sync with the rotating lights.
The Bear came over and sat down
next to him.
"Didja ask her"?" the Bear said after
¦a while.
J3t
&
"Yeah."
"Said no, huh?"
"Yeah."
They sat in silence. The band played
on.
"She was perfect," Joe Guy said.
"Beautiful, charming, witty, intelligent
"Those legs . . ." the Bear said.
" ... and her hair . . ."
"Eyes."
"Eyes. Yeah."
"Wasn't supposed to happen like this,
Bear."
He watched the crowd flow. The song
ended and the crowd spit her out towards
him. Her blue eyes flamed
brighter as she approached.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't mean
to hurt you."
"You didn't hurt me," Joe Guy said.
(For some reason unexplained in the
text, the author has placed two chapters
of his previous book , "Write
Right," in this novel as Chapters 9 and
10. This reviewer has determined that
this is just a poor attempt at marketing
an unsuccessful guide to fiction techniques
and has nothing whatsoever to
do with the storyline or theme of the
novel. )
Chapter 10
You are God. It is up to you to create
a character that can survive on its own
and one that will serve a purpose (it
may only be to entertain). The character
must be fully realistic, must have a
past, a present and a determinable
future.
Don't limit yourself. Your fictional
character can be or do anything you
want it to, BUT what it does must be in
line with other aspects of the character.
In other words, your character can do
anything you want it to, but it must not
Jot '
CroY
only be believed by the reader, but also
by you, the creator.
Chapter 12
"Joe, you get out of bed right now! I
will NOT put up with you just lying
TOc (y\jy
^
\^l ^pNce
around in bed the whole day long. Not
anymore."
The door slammed shut and Joe Guy
rolled over. The door opened again.
"And your father said you'd better
have a job by the end of the month or
out you go!"
The door slammed again.
Joe Guy laid on his back and stared at
the poster he had on the ceiling. It was
red and orange and had the words
"Truth is consistency" printed on it. He
remembered how he had painted it last
year and had hung it over his bed to
remind him of his salvation.
Now he stood up and walked over to
the shelf across the room. Joe Guy
picked up the old stuffed horse, worn
smooth by handling, and said, "When
will I be fictional?"
The horse of course said nothing.
Chapter 36
"Now listen, Guy. We've been waiting
four years for someone with the
right credentials to come along and
we're not about to let you slip through
our hands."
Joe Guy established eye contact,
waited and then looked down to his
quiche as if in thought. He picked up a
big forkful-of the quiche and waved in
front of Rhenquist's face because he
knew it would work.
"Let's talk price," Joe Guy said.
Chapter 52
"Mr. Guy ! Mr. Guy!"
Joe Guy turned around and held his
sunglasses up on his forehead.
"Look," he said, "I'm trying to lead
my life and all you guys want to do is
record it. If I stopped and talked to you
everytime you wanted to ask me a
question, I wouldn't have time to do all
these sensational things that you guys
write about all the time, and then we'd
all be out of work."
The press corps laughed. They loved
Joe Guy.
Chapter 105
(Joe Guy is dreaming. He is on the
pre-birth plane guaranteeing his reservations
for his lifetime on Earth.)
The mart behind the desk consulted
the ledger.
"Here it is. Yes. Guy, Joseph. Scheduled
for the . .. last generation? Bit of
the adventurer in you, eh?"
"A bit," Joe Guy said. "I figured it
would be a fun time to hang around.
Never a dull moment, you know?"
The cosmiclerk nodded.
''Look, I've been thinking about it,
and . ; ." Joe Guy said. "Would it be too
late to sign up for the Prior notification
option?' "
"Could spoil the whole thing."
"I've thought of that. But I think the
benefits could outweigh the hazards.
Besides this is my fifth Earth-life and
all."
"Say no more," the clerk said and
scribbled in his ledger. "You'll be notified
just before the end-of-the-world
begins. This whole scene that we just
went through will be replayed for you ;
in a dream."
Chapter 124
Even before the announcement broke
off suddenly and the loudspeaker was
only spitting crackles, mayhem filled
the aisles.
Men and women pushed and ran in all
directions, charging for the doors and
the stairs to the basement. Here and
there an infant screamed from abandoned
strollers. Where the aisles were
too congested people ran over glass
countertops.
Joe Guy walked slowly, picking spots
where he would not get too abused by
the insane crowd. A new wave of hysterical
women rushed toward him. He
* *
+
Ifr
L^
w
Illustrations by the author
stepped behind a column and waited
them out. At the end of the wave ran a
pretty blonde.
Joe Guy caught the blonde by the
arm, whirled her around and shook her
by the Shoulders.
"Calm down," Joe Guy said. "It's
only the end of the world."
The blonde's jaw dropped. She stared
at Joe Guy through huge eyes.
"My name's Joe Guy," he smiled.
"What's yours ?"
Mark Green is a 12th term journalism
major and a columnist for The Daily
Collegian.
I \
< *£-. TV?
^ ooy