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“the biggest difference between men and women is that women make love with you because you
are talented, wealthy, or dependable. Sex for them is like a reward they give their men. Whereas
men make love for love, acting out of their most essential need” (5). These comparisons portray
homoerotic love favorably as one that is “pure” with “genuine emotions” and “not just based on
sex” while suggesting that heterosexual relations are to be discarded as “calculative” and
disillusioned (9). This contrast undermines the heteronormative sexual ideal, presenting
homosexual relations as a legitimate alternative.
Han Dong’s narrative consistently reflects upon his frustration at not being able to
reconcile his love for Lan Yu with his obligation as a “decent man” to marry and fulfill his
“responsibility of passing on his genes” (15). Even though Han Dong confesses that he “[has] not
yet fallen in love with a woman,” he forces himself to sleep with women to “prove that [he is] a
normal man” (15). Han Dong cannot bear to face his family’s condemnation, believing that “they
would have killed [him] if they had known [his] relationship with Lan Yu” (4). Instead, he
persuades himself to conform to the heterosexual ideal by repeatedly asserting that he “is a
normal man,” “not a homosexual,” and was merely “playing a game … for a new kick” (15, 18).
Conversely, Lan Yu abandons any attempt to appear heterosexual by acknowledging his
homosexuality from the start. While Lan Yu sacrifices his social status and is slandered as a male
prostitute, he nonetheless manages to achieve “independence and happiness” as a gay man (19).
Han Dong initially upbraids Lan Yu repeatedly for not conforming to heterosexual
expectations. Although he urges Lan Yu to “practice playing with girls” so that he could “look
for a wife later on,” Han Dong is preoccupied with his “affair with Lan Yu [being] absurd and
too abnormal,” expressing anguish over his inability to stop “loving another man” (9). Faced
with these ambivalent emotions, he justifies his decision to get married and end his relationship
with Lan Yu because it would be “good for both of [them]” (9). It is evident that even when Han
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