The Church Guide September 2013 Cover

By Ray Boetcher
There are people in the pews
every week, including ministers,
struggling with depression. So often
the members of a church pretend this is
not a real issue because they have a
difficult time understanding it. They
think, “why don't they just snap out of it,”
or “why don't they just pray and let God
fix it.” Perhaps we say a prayer for
them, or add them to the prayer list, but
that's about all we feel we can do. So
we continue to minister to the “normal”
people in the church or the ones with
“real” problems that we better see the
effects of … like cancer, physical
injuries, heart problems or dementia.
Christians feel guilty about being
depressed. They feel that their faith in
God should prevent such suffering.
They have been hooked by health and
wealth preaching, and come to believe
that the truly faithful should prosper
both physically and financially … so
they reason, if they were truly faithful
they should be free of any mental
problems like depression.
This leads to denial, which only
makes matters worse. Well-meaning
friends, including pastors, who don't
understand what is going on,
encourage them to “rise above it,” and
offer prayer or advice on “becoming
stronger in their faith.”
But what happens after someone
has attempted to “let go and let God,”
and now feels unworthy and forsaken
… They begin to question their faith.
They begin to question their God.
So those who are feeling
depressed feel that they must hide their
sufferings from the brethren. They feel
shamed, so they pull away from the
church, they pull away from their
friends and family, and they pull away
from seeking the compassionate and
professional help that they truly need.
.
Medical statistics indicate that in
the adult U.S. population, approximately
12 percent of the males and 18
percent of the females have had a
major depressive episode at some
time. That's huge. That means that if
you look at the rows of people in your
church, there is probably one person
on each row (or at least every other row)
experiencing some form of depression.
This article in The Church Guide
cannot address all the aspects of
depression and its causes. There are
just too many possibilities that might
contribute to its cause and degree of
intensity. The list includes such things
as: chemical imbalance of the brain,
external (exogenous) causes, stress,
heredity and genetic factors, dietary
contributors, and of course spiritual
factors.
Despite the cause, the most
agonizing fact of this illness is that
darkness takes over the mind. Nothing
seems to be able to penetrate the
darkness. Life and light seem beyond
reach. They are unable to feel loved
and needed. They feel separated from
everything that was near and dear to
them, including God.
Sufferers face diminished interest
or pleasure in activities they once
enjoyed. They may experience
significant appetite changes, insomnia
or hypersomnia, and the inability to
concentrate or focus. They are not as
patient as they used to be. They get
frustrated and angry more easily. Little
things that never bothered them, now
do. They are plagued with persistent
and unshakable feelings of guilt and
worthlessness that are sometimes
accompanied by suicidal thoughts or
belief that life is not worth living (this is
why it is so important to get help for
d e p r e s s i o n ) . A n g e r s e t s i n .
Disappointment sets in. Hopelessness
sets in.
The dilemma is that because
people who are struggling with
depression feel a pronounced absence
of all things good, it can be difficult to
communicate with them and provide
words of encouragement. They don't
feel like being around people anymore,
whether at church or at home.
But isn't it strange that if we were
to get a sore throat or a migraine
headache, we seek and get
condolences from others, and we go to
the doctor and get treated. As a result,
the pain is gone; and the soreness
disappears and goes away. But if we
have a mental condition, like
depression, we view it as a sign of
weakness, there is a stigma attached to
it … so we try to face the darkness
alone.
So let's stop this article right here!
If you, or someone you know and
love, are showing signs of depression
... get help. Yes God will help you, and
we will address that in this article … but
I am referring to help from a counselor,
therapist, or doctor who knows
depression. Preferably someone who
is licensed. They typically have
credentials like LPC (Licensed
Professional Counselor), LCSW
(Licensed Clinical Social Worker), or
PhD / PsyD in clinical psychology.
When you contact them, make
sure that they specialize in helping
those challenged with depression. I
would also encourage you to go to
someone who treats patients and not
the disease. Someone who's
treatment methods follow those of Dr.
Herbert Spiegel (1914-2009) and Sir
William Osler (1849-1919). Osler said
that "It is much more important to know
what sort of patient has a disease than
what sort of disease the patient has."
God has personally put people on this
earth that He has gifted, planned their
calling, equipped them, and prepared
them to help you (or your loved one).
The remainder of this feature
addresses spiritual roots, causes, and
relief from depression. We are
addressing a state of mind somewhere
between “feeling the blues” and
“chronic depression.”
So the truth is that Christians can
and do get depressed. I know that I
have, more than once.
It doesn't mean your faith is weak.
It doesn't mean God is punishing you or
that God has forgotten you. It's not
because you are worthless, because
that's just not true … God loves you for
who you are. He created you ... you are
beautiful in His sight.
Unfortunately depression is an
affliction that makes it more difficult for
the individual to be around other
people, so the individual goes through
a spiritual withdrawal. They aren't
interested in going to church, in
praying, or feeling charitable.
As mentioned earlier, depression
is the absence of feeling anything
good. Can you imagine how that must
feel? Can you imagine for a moment
what life would be like if you felt
stripped of God's love, His blessings,
mercy and grace. Life would be hell.
That's where the depressed are
coming from, that's what they are
feeling … that overwhelming sense of
darkness and gloom.
The first step to overcoming our
depression is to admit we are in
despair.
Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30,
“Come to me, all you who are weary
and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from
me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For
my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Jesus understands our dark
feelings, our discouragement, our
depression. He experienced the same
on the cross. He draws near when you
suffer. And no matter how low you go,
you will find God there to lift you up
again. His desire is to help us, to heal
us. That is because we have a
sympathetic Savior. Even though the
devil tries to oppress us so he can
control us, God uses these things for
good.
Therefore, we must confront our
depression, and bring it under the
control of the Holy Spirit.
Pastor Angus McDonald of
Great Bridge Freewill Evangelical
Church in Chesapeake shared five
questions with me that we should ask
ourselves in order to better understand
the root of our depression, and
determine if there is a spiritual solution.
The first questions we should ask
ourselves: “Is this a call to prayer?”
What you are doing here is asking
God through prayer if your depression
is caused by something you have done,
or is it brought on by someone else.
Is the emotional suffering of
someone else affecting how you are
feeling? There are many ways where
living or knowing someone else with
depression can affect you negatively as
well. Spouses, family members,
friends, co-workers can easily be
dragged down themselves in such colaboring
relationships.
If you are close to someone who is
depressed, you might feel guilty
because you have listened to the lies in
your head leading you to believe that
you are the cause of, or that you
contributed to their depression ... or
that there was something more you
could have done, or something you
shouldn't have done that caused the
suffering in someone else.
Maybe you're co-laboring with a
friend who has lost a loved one, or has
just lost her job, or didn't get into the
college they were hoping for, or any
number of similar events. Once you
realize your feeling down is because
you are sympathizing with the feelings
of someone else, you are on your way
to overcoming your depression. But
realize that if you continue to bear their
feelings, you'll have two people
depressed.
So go to the Lord In prayer and He
will reveal if the cause of your feeling
the blues is that you are overly
compassionate for sufferings of
someone else.
If that is not the cause of your
depression, ask the Lord “Have I hurt
someone?”
Is that why you are feeling
depressed?
Please realize that the hurt could
be legitimate or unfounded. What
matters to the other person is that “they
believe” you did something, said
something or caused something that
hurt them someway, somehow.
When you hurt someone, they can
become bitter. Bitterness opens the
doors for demon spirits like
unforgiveness, revenge, and hatred.
Ephesians 4:26 reminds us to “be
angry, and yet do no sin; do not let the
sun go down on your anger (NASB).
If the Lord shows you that your
depression is because you have hurt
someone, then you need to ask that
person for forgiveness. If it is a
misunderstanding, false accusation, lie
or false belief, then you will need to ask
God how you can correct the problem,
correct the hurt, correct the pain,
correct the lie.
G o d d o e s n o t w a n t y o u
depressed. He will lead you through it
and out of it.
Probably an even more revealing
question that could uncover years of
pain contributing to your depression is
“Has someone or something hurt
me?”
Experiences in life can leave
scars. Some are seen, many are not.
Something as horrific as ongoing
physical or sexual abuse can cause
extensive psychological damage. A
continuous barrage of being sinned
against can cause young men and
women to believe over time, that they
deserve their sad fate … that they
aren't good enough … aren't worthy
enough … aren't smart enough … and
that no one, not even God, could
possibly love them.
If your depression is revealed to
be caused by such traumatic events in
the past, you may need the help of a
professional counselor to assist you in
overcoming the suffering and the
repressed memories of those painful
and traumatic past experiences.
As horrible as those experiences
might have been (or continue to be),
are you also carrying feelings of hatred,
anger, resentment, unforgiveness.
These spiritual demons all need to be
removed in order to overcome your
suffering. Ask God for His help in
forgiving those who have perpetuated
them, ask for His help in curbing your
anger and hatred. Ask for His help in
healing you, and putting the hurts in
your past.
Maybe you are depressed for no
other reason than you have a job that
doesn't utilize your talents, doesn't pay
well, leaves you with no future, or
d e h u m a n i z e s y o u . S u c h
disappointment over time can lead to
feelings of depression.
If God reveals that this is what is
causing your depression, ask Him God
what should you do about it? Should
you get more education. Do you need
the courage and boldness to quit, and
faith and trust in God that He has a
better plan for you? Did God place you
there for a purpose that He is just now
revealing to you?
Sometimes we can get depressed
when we feel disappointment. Maybe
we have prayed for something, but it
didn't happen. If we don't go to the Lord
in prayer and submit our disappointment,
we can end up feeling depressed
or even angry. Whatever the reason …
pray! Perhaps the timing is off, and we
are not mature enough to wait patiently
on the Lord. Pray … what will the Lord
reveal to you.
The Bible says we must discipline
ourselves for the purpose of godliness
(1 Timothy 4:7). Discipline by definition,
means going against our feelings. We
may not feel like dieting, but if you are
disciplined, you do it anyway and you
get the results you and God desire. You
may feel like going on a shopping spree
and buying that big screen TV you have
been longing for, but if you are
disciplined, you set yourself up on a
budget and you live by it.
God has given us the resources to
be overwhelming conquerors in even
the most desperate situations,
including facing death. Romans 8: 35-
37 encourages us to live by faith not by
our circumstances … “who will
separate us from the love of Christ?
Will tribulation, or distress, or
persecution, or famine, or nakedness,
or peril, or sword? Just as it is written,
'For your sake we are being put to
death all day long; we were considered
as sheep to be slaughtered.' But in all
these things we overwhelmingly
conquer through Him who loved us.”
If God still hasn't revealed the root
of your depression, the next question
you might ask, “Have I hurt you
Lord?”
“Is there some way I have hurt
you?” “Haven't I been there for you
Lord? “Have I not been spending
enough time with you Lord? … with
Your Word?
Perhaps your depression is
because you have sinned against God.
Guilt and shame can develop and
persist because of secret or
unconfessed sins in a person's life.
Maybe we feel that we have let God
down in some major way, and we are
wondering if we have stepped outside
of His Will. Maybe we've bought into
the lies in our head that our sin was
unforgiveable, thus bringing about
feelings of doom.
These perpetual feeling over time
can trigger a depressive episode.
In our first question, we saw how
you can be depressed because
someone who is near and dear to you is
depressed. Essentially that is what is
spiritually happening here. Your spirit
can grieve the Holy Spirit. Your spirit is
in despair because the Holy Spirit is in
despair.
We can find the very first example
of depression due to guilt in the book of
Genesis, when Cain's offering to God
was rejected. He became gloomy and
instead of repenting, he murdered his
brother, thus sinking even deeper into a
state of depression. We find the Lord
asking Cain in Genesis 4: 6-7 “Why are
you angry? Why does your face look
sad? You know that if you do what is
right, I will accept you. But if you don't,
sin is ready to attack you. That sin will
want to control you, but you must
control it.”
King David committed adultery
and then sent Bathsheba's husband to
the front lines knowing he would be
killed. He became depressed because
of his guilt, but he confessed his sins
and sought God's forgiveness.
Let's read God's word on this …
“For I said in my haste, 'I am cut off from
before Your eyes; nevertheless You
heard the voice of my supplications.
When I cried out to You. Oh, love the
Lord, all you His saints! For the Lord
preserves the faithful. And fully repays
the proud person. Be of good courage.
And He shall strengthen your heart. All
you who hope in the Lord. Bledssed is
he whose transgression is forgiven.
Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the
man to whom the Lord does not impute
iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no
deceit … I acknowledged my sin to You,
and my iniquity I have not hidden. I
said, 'I will confess my transgressions
to the Lord, and You forgave the iniquity
of my sin. Selah.” –
Psalm 31:22, 32:2, 32:5
(NKJV).
If your depression's
root is in your guilt for
having sinned against
God, David's example
shows that the pain and
suffering can be eased
and overcome by going
to God in prayer and
confessing your sins
and seeking His forgiveness.
John 1:9 confirms
this, “If we confess our
sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us
our sins and to cleanse us from all
unrighteousness.”
Therefore, we need to go to God in
prayer. What will God reveal to you?
But because depression affects
your spirituality, you might be feeling
that God has abandoned you. We feel
frustrated, worried, angry, and feel like
God's Word no longer seems to be
working in our life. We begin to feel that
God doesn't seem to be honoring His
promises. We cannot understand why
God doesn't answer our
prayers. It's a desperate
cry from the heart of many.
Doesn't God see what
we are going through?
Doesn't God care?
These are all lies of
the devil. Fight those
thoughts. Rebuke those
lies. Trust in God, because
He has always been good
to you. The Bible reassures us that God
will never leave us nor forsake us.
“The Lord is the one who goes
ahead of you; He will be with you. He
will not fail you or forsake you. Do not
fear or be dismayed.”Deuteronomy
31:8 (NASB)
“Have I not commanded you? Be
strong and courageous! Do not tremble
or be dismayed, for the Lord your God
is with you wherever you go.” Joshua
1:9 (NASB)
“Casting all your anxiety on Him,
because He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7
(NASB)
If you are still seeking the spiritual
cause of your depression, and none of
the other prayers revealed a source,
then you need to consider that you
might just be under attack by the
enemy. Pray, “Lord, is someone
trying to hurt me?” or “has someone
hurt me?” Do I need to change my
circumstances?
Experiences in life can leave
scars. Some are seen, many are not.
Something as horrific as ongoing
physical or sexual abuse can cause
extensive psychological damage. A
continuous barrage of being sinned
against can cause young men and
women to believe over time, that they
deserve their sad fate … that
they aren't good enough …
aren't worthy enough … aren't
smart enough … and that no
one, not even God, could
possibly love them.
Do I need to change
my circumstances?
Are we in enemy territory,
should we get ready for
spiritual warfare? Or should I
just bear with it until He acts?
Sometimes the Lord just
wants us to take steps to get
ourselves out of trouble, or whatever
is causing our despair.
Are you single and looking for
a spouse? Maybe you are feeling
depressed because going to night
clubs isn't working. There are no
singles at your church who interest
you. Your attempt with computer
dating was disastrous. Maybe
God has something different He
wants you to do, that He will reveal
if you come to Him in prayer.
Joyce Meyer preaches
“the battle of the mind.”
Depression, for
many, is nothing
more than our
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thoughts dwelling on a bunch of
emotions, lies, and hurt feelings.
Bearing in mind that because we are
depressed, our feelings have become
distorted, we must strive to remind
ourselves daily that we cannot trust our
feelings nor pay attention to them.
Jesus tells us to keep our mind on Him
and not on the things of this world.
Granted, that can be hard to do if
left to our own devices, but thank God
He has given us His Holy Spirit to
comfort us and direct us.
We Christians need to live our
lives based on truth, not on our feelings
… based upon what we cannot see, not
what is seen. That requires a lot of
faith. Again, if you are depressed, that
does not mean that you are lacking in
faith. What you might be lacking in is
trust, not faith.
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