Walk Issue - Share Pregnancy & Infant Loss Support, Inc.

Volume 18, Issue 6
November - December 2009
touching lives…
haring...
healing hearts…
giving hope...
Special Issue:
2009
Walk for
Remembrance
& Hope

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Dear Friends,
I would like to start this walk edition of Sharing by thanking everyone that
had a hand in the St. Louis National Walk or held their own Share Walk
around the nation. As I have read the emails and looked at all the photos
that we have received here at the National Office, I am so touched by how
wonderful all of these walks were, regardless of their size. Many of our
Share parents and supporters have given so much of their time and talents
to host these walks for families in their area. It is always so great to hear
parents compliment the walk chairpersons in their area. Memorial walks
are so important for our families; it is a day every year they can gather
together to remember their babies and know that they are not alone on
their journey of healing.
Behind The Scenes...
Cathi Lammert
Executive Director
Personally, one of my favorite aspects of my job is presenting the
fundraising seminar at our national Sharing & Caring Training Conference,
held in the spring and fall of every year. Over the time that I have been a
part of this conference, I have worked with several Share groups in the
process of planning a walk for their local parents and have supported their
efforts along the way. It is a very rewarding experience to see these walks
take shape and be successful.
Rose Carlson
Program Director
At the National Office, planning our walk is a year-long event. It takes
considerable time, volunteers and resources to coordinate a walk of any
size. I am so grateful for the outpouring of help and support that we have
received each year that we have planned this event. From the venues to the
shirts and programs, every detail is important and we do our very best to
make sure everything is correct and as close to perfect as possible.
Stephanie Grant
Assoc. Development Director
This year we moved our Share Walk to a new location, Tower Grove Park.
The beautiful fall trees provided an awe-inspiring background for our
memorial service and we were so fortunate to have such mild weather after
several days of rain. As our attendance grows year by year, it is
heartwarming to see so many families together on this day to remember
their precious babies.
Megan Nichols
Outreach & PR Director
In the coming months we will begin to plan our 2010 Share Walk for
Remembrance & Hope and will be taking into consideration all of your
thoughts, comments and suggestions. Thank you again for all of your
support that made this year’s Share Walk a great success! We look forward
to another wonderful event in the coming fall!
Jeanna O’Leary
Group Coordinator
With hope,
Stephanie
Stephanie Grant
Associate Development Director
Deb Welsch
Administrative Assistant

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Contents
Features...
14…...Jonesboro, Arkansas
16…...Orange County, California
18…...Many Steps for Tiny Joseph
10……..Detroit, Michigan
12…...Proctorsville, Vermont
13…...The National Walk
Sharing is partially funded by
Employees Community Fund
of Boeing St. Louis
Sharing is the official newsletter of Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support, Inc. © 1997

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Jonesboro, Arkansas
Written by Stacey Orr
Jonesboro, Arkansas held it First Annual Walk for
Rememberance and Hope on October 3, 2009 at
the beautiful Craighead Forest Park. Registration
started at 9 a.m. and by 9:30 I was in awe of all the
people who had already gathering to pick up
balloons and enjoying a peaceful morning at the
park remembering their precious babies. Our
memorial service began at 10:00 a.m. with opening
comments about ShareHope and was followed by a
very touching and heartfelt invocation by Pastor
John Miles. Our local news reporter Diana Davis
who had suffered and early pregnancy loss spoke to
the crowd about her personal loss and how
ShareHope is filling a need in our community to
help those who have been touched by the loss of a
baby. Diana then introduced our singer Dia Sawyer
who sang our "theme" song for the walk, “Precious
Child.” It was absolutely beautiful. Then Diana
Davis began to read out the names of all the babies
lost. After all 57 names had been read people began
to walk accross the bridge overlooking the lake
where they released their balloons before
embarking on the 1/2 mile to 2 mile walk,
depending on which route they chose.
I can honestly tell you that I have been running the
ShareHope program and support group since
January and not it my wildest dreams did I think
that our first walk would be so successful. It was
with a heavy heart that I was happy to see so many
bereaved families all in one place walking in unison
for the babies that have been lost. We had over 450
people in attendance. I thought if we had 100 that
would be wonderful! What this type of turnout
showed us is that this type of walk is very much
needed and wanted. People need a special time to
remember their children. It was absoultely
precious to see how people "decorated" their shirts
in memory of their baby/ies that had died. Some
had siblings wearing shirts that said "my brother is
an angel." Others had their shirts monogrammed
with the babies' names and birthdates. Some had a
full size picture of their child on their shirts. Others
wore ribbons or made buttons with their child's
footprints or picture. All the shirts I saw were just
precious and I honestly had to fight back the tears
upon seeing each one. One thing that I continued
to say to myself is, “yes it is sad that these babies
our gone, but how powerful their little spirits must
be to have so many who loved them and missed
them show up to remember them in such a special
way.” For months leading up to the walk my prayer
was that October 3, 2009 would be a time of
remembrance, peace and hope for the future. Every
family represented on that day was linked together
by tragedy but we left bound together in HOPE.
To get a better feel of what took place at our
ShareHope Walk please go to youtube.com and in
the search box type "ShareHope Walk Jonesboro,
Arkansas" You will find a short 5 minute video of
our walk put to music (“Precious Child” - our theme
song this year.) Thank you to all the people who
work tirelessly at Share. It is because of you that
families can find healing, love, acceptance and a
sense of peace on a fall day in Jonesboro,
Arkansas. Your work really is God's work. Thank
you!

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Orange County, California
Written By Kristyn von Rotz
The 2009 OC Walk to Remember in
Orange County, California had
approximately 1100 walkers and
raised nearly $30,000 for our local
support groups, hospitals, and for
your Share Pregnancy and Infant
Loss Support organization. Our
event began with a memorial wall,
where parents had the opportunity
to write messages to their babies.
Then our Remembrance Ceremony
began, with a speaker and singer.
We then read the names of each
baby being remembered and
presented the parents with a white
rose. We then began our walk. Along
the way parents had the opportunity
to purchase signs to remember their
baby or babies. The event concluded
with a raffle and parents having a
picnic in the park. It was a special
day to remember all the babies who
were lost to pregnancy and infant
loss. There was laughter, tears, joy,
pain, and love.
To find out more about the OC Walk
to Remember contact Kristyn von
Rotz at kvonrotz@earthlink.net.
Co-founders of the OC Walk to
Remember: Lyndsey McLauglan (L)
and Kristyn von Rotz (R)

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Many Tiny Steps for Joseph
Written by Kristyn von Rotz
Reprinted from the Friday, September 25, 2009 Issue of The Orange County Register
I was 24 years old. I was happily
married. I was blissfully pregnant.
Everything was just as I'd
hoped and imagined for so long.
But then I was burying my baby.
It was hardly the way I thought
things would turn out.
When my husband, Mark, and I
found out we were expecting our
first baby six months after our
wedding, we were thrilled. As
my belly grew, I would rub it as
I rocked and sang to the miracle
growing inside me. We told everyone
our wonderful news. We
painted the nursery yellow. A
shower was planned. And the
love for my baby grew with
every beat of its tiny heart.
At 19 weeks pregnant, I went
with my husband, mom and
mother-in-law for the requisite
ultrasound. We saw our baby's
perfect toes and fingers and we
were told it was a boy. We
shared his name with our family:
Joseph Thomas. As we left
the office, we thought that life
was perfect.
How wrong we were.
•••
Kristyn von Rotz takes flowers to the grave of her infant son, Joseph, with
husband, Mark, and children, Leah, 4, and Evan, 2. She visits the site at
Holy Sepulcher in Orange about once a month. "This is not sad to them because they
grew up coming to visit. We always explained their brother is in heaven," she says.
MINDY SCHAUER, THE ORANGE COUNTY REGISTER
As soon as we got home, we got
a phone message from the doctor's
office. We needed to go
back for an emergency ultrasound
the next day. Mark and I
drove around in circles for
hours until our afternoon appointment
with the perinatologist.
We discussed how, no matter
what happened, we would
love Joseph.
I lay down on the ultrasound
table and begged the technician
to tell me what was wrong. Then
I noticed she was crying. And I
knew – my baby was going to
die. The doctor told us our son
had alobar holoprosencephaly, a
rare and fatal brain abnormality.
In shock, my husband asked
how to fix it, but the doctor
shook his head. All I could do
was watch the man who I loved
so much – and who I never had
seen cry – fall to the floor weeping.
In the following days we explained
to friends and family
that our baby was going to die.
We made decisions about where
I would deliver him and where
we would bury him. I suffered
through hours of preterm labor,
because these sick babies often
come early. And I'd rock and
sing to my belly, secretly wishing
I could just die, too.
On July 8, 2004, after 21 hours
of labor, I gave birth to my baby
boy. He was 13 inches and one
pound. His lips were a perfect
replication of mine, and he had
his daddy's hands. And I got to
do what I had dreamed of: I
held him, rocked him and sang
to him. After one minute, his

V olume 18, Issue 6
breathing stopped, and our baby
boy died in my arms.
We left the hospital 24-hours
later with a tiny box. Inside
were his hat and diaper, two
photos, and a blanket with his
sweet scent still lingering on it.
It was all we had left of him.
The next day we went to the
mortuary to pick his casket. We
chose a tiny white coffin with
gold angels adorning the sides.
Then we picked the plot where
he would be laid to rest. It was
under a beautiful tree where I
could hang a wind chime. Two
days later, he was buried there.
•••
People told me I would have another
baby. They told me I
would eventually forget him.
They told me I would move on.
They told me he was in a better
place. And it didn't help.
The sight of other pregnant
women and infants was incredibly
painful, so for nearly two
months I rarely left the house,
except to visit Joseph at the
cemetery. The only comfort I
found was in an online support
group for women who had lost
babies. And eventually I found
out about Healing Hearts
SHARE support group. Without
these two support networks, I
would not have been able to survive.
But I wished I had found
them sooner.
At night, when I sat with empty
arms, I'd rock and sing to Joseph,
hoping somehow he heard
me. And I promised myself that
I would dedicate my life to helping
other families who had suffered
the devastating loss of a
baby. I would make sure they
received the support they
needed while pregnant with a
terminally ill baby or after the
loss of a pregnancy or infant.
Three months after Joseph's
death, I became pregnant again.
But my innocence had been lost.
The doctor appointments, ultrasounds,
and hospital visits were
all filled with fear and anxiety. I
questioned everything. I feared
everything. Thankfully, my
daughter, Leah Grace, was born
healthy. She didn't heal my
heart, but she filled it with joy
once again.
Through the support group I
attended, I met Lyndsey
McLaughlan, who had lost her
daughter, Lauren Madison, due
to stillbirth. We joined together
to start an annual walk for parents
to remember their babies.
That first walk in 2004 was at a
small park in Irvine. There were
100 people, mostly our friends,
family and support group members.
We fronted all the money
for the event ourselves, and donated
the small amount we
made. Slowly, word of the walk
grew, and a second walk was
held.
After suffering three miscarriages,
Lyndsey went on to
adopt a son, Austin, who is three
years old. I now have another
son, Evan Joseph, who is two
years old. Through our living
children, we found the strength
to continue the walk and our
mission to reach out to as many
families as we could.
Page 9
With the help of many passionate
parents and volunteers, the
OC Walk to Remember memorial
service and walk is in its
fifth year. More than 1,500 people
have come to the walk to
honor babies lost to miscarriage,
stillbirth, SIDS and other pregnancy
and infant losses. This
year, on October 10 at UCI, we
will again walk for the steps our
babies never got to take.
In the past five years, more than
$75,000 has been raised for
memory box programs and
pregnancy and infant loss education
at nine local hospitals
and for programs at St. Joseph
Perinatal Hospice, which supports
mothers carrying terminally
ill babies. Donations have
been made to four support
groups who dedicate their services
to grieving families. We
also created brochures for hospitals
to distribute to parents
whose babies have died; they list
support resources and a 24-
hour phone number so that parents
have a place to turn when
they leave the hospital.
It's been five years since Joseph
died, and I still wonder why it
happened to us. I may never
know. But I do know Joseph
made more of a difference in his
one minute of life than some
people do in an entire lifetime.
Each day I hold my children on
my lap and sing them the same
hymn I sang to Joseph. And I
remind them we can make a difference
in this world, if only for
a minute.
Kristyn von Rotz is a
freelance writer and editor
who lives in Orange.
For more information about the
OC Walk to Remember go to
www.ocwalktoremember.org
or call 800-714-9320.

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Detroit, Michigan
Written by Angie Winton
We held our First Walk for Remembrance and Hope
Sunday, October 4th, 2009. After months of planning
and hard work, the day was finally here to honor our
precious babies. It was a chilly day and we were hopeful
that the rain would stay away. After hours of setup,
people started to arrive. By the time we were
ready to begin, we had over 200 people. Needless to
say, we were amazed at the turnout seeing as it was
our first walk. We gathered under the tent and began
our memorial service when the rain came pouring
down. What were those raindrops? They were simply
tears from Heaven. The service concluded and at that
moment right before our balloon release, the rain
stopped and the sun came shining through the
clouds. What an amazing moment. We released our
balloons and the kids blew bubbles to Heaven. We
concluded our day with our walk and a luncheon.
Fortunately the rain held off again until most of
the participants were back under the tent.
We gave each family a handmade candle globe and
pink & blue ribbons made by our group members. We
also gave each person who came a special pink
and blue silicone wristband that says "Forever in our
Hearts." Thank you to all the wonderful people who
took time out of their day to remember our children.
Sometimes life gets so busy and people seem to
forget but their attendance at our walk proved that
they didn't forget. Our babies are always in our hearts
and well as theirs.
We honestly couldn't have asked for a more successful
day. A special thank you to National Share for your
support and to all the individuals who made our walk
so special. I'm honored to be part of such a wonderful
group of people.

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Proctorsville, Vermont
Written by Cara Tyrell
Over 80 people attended Share of Southern
Vermont’s First Annual Walk for Remembrance &
Hope on Saturday, May 9th, 2009, walking along
the Toonerville Trail. Jeff Hunsberger, founder of
The SIMON Project, acted as Master of Ceremonies.
More than $1500 was raised, with all proceeds
benefiting Share Southern Vermont, Inc. as the
organization supports local grieving families.
The annual Share Walk for Remembrance & Hope
provides families who have experienced a miscarriage
or death of an infant with an opportunity for
their children to be openly acknowledged and
remembered amongst family, friends and other
bereaved families.
The morning began with a brief welcome by Cara
Tyrrell, SSV’s Founding Director and Board
President. The memorial included poetry and song
as the crowd remembered their babies lost too
soon. As one hundred-twelve honored babies’
names were read, Paul Ippolito provided acoustic
guitar musical accompaniment.
Registered walkers wore event t-shirts, some
personalized with special commemorations of their
loss. After the ceremony, participants followed a
two-mile walk along the trail, stopping at the one
mile mark to receive a ‘footprints on my heart’
ribbon and balloon. The walk ended back in the
open green where families connected and enjoyed
lunch, donated by local businesses.

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The National Walk

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Thank you for another successful Walk for Remembrance & Hope!
-The National Share Staff