Issue 293 - TAXI Newspaper

More readers than the rest put together! 14 MAY 2013 | TAXI 33
Two Fingers
HUMANITY
AND ME
AL FRESCO
Al’s delve into academia does more for his stress levels than his knowledge
After losing Carole, I found I
just had to fill up my mind to
stop it filling up with sad,
morose, ‘sorry for myself’ thoughts.
So I opted to undertake an Arts and
Humanity Course with the Open
University. Over a five year period, I
had to achieve 300 points to gain a
BA Humanities and a sixth year to
acquire 360 points for BA (Honours)
Humanities. Since I signed up, I’ve
been gradually bashing my way
through a variety of courses and
modules. Now, at the beginning of
my fourth year and with 180 points
on my ‘Smart Arse O’Graph’, I’m
closing in on my objective - despite
having undergone quadruple heart
surgery and two spinal operations,
en route. However, recently I learnt,
that at worst I might have cocked
it up entirely: at best, I’ve
subjected my mental processes to
unmitigated overdrive.
Before I realised I was on a
‘limited’ 5/6 year course, I actually
THOUGHT I had as long as I liked
to complete the overall academic
task. In my ignorance, I
calculated....current score “One
Hundred and Eighty,” so - take it easy
this year with a 30 point Andante
Italian course - another 30 pointer
next year - then back to the more
intensive 60 pointers and - BINGO!
Wotta Berk! By the end of five years,
at the current rate of learning, I’d be
30 points short of a degree: which
means I have to catch up THIS
YEAR by doing an additional 30
pointer: in parallel with the Italian
course I’m currently struggling with
now. I panicked and called the OU
students Study Support Unit. They
recommended another 30 point
course entitled, ‘Making Sense of
Things.’ Very apt?
More knowledge
Making sense of things: An
introduction to material culture is a 20-
week (30 point) Open University
course which is an introduction to
the study of objects, or material
culture, from a variety of different
perspectives. These include heritage
studies, art history, classical studies,
history, philosophy and religious
studies. Various case studies include
everyday objects found in Pompeii,
ethical issues surrounding the
display of artefacts in museums,
including holocaust memorials, and
the collection and destruction of
relics and other iconic objects in both
the past and present. (A151 Making
sense of things: an introduction to
material culture. Study Companion.
Peter Elmer. Open University)
More by luck than judgement, the
first OU course I attempted (and
passed) was a core course entitled
The Arts past and present and my
current course was designed to
follow the OU’s core introductory
course in Arts and Humanities,
which builds upon skills and
knowledge developed by studying
that course.
“THEY RECOMMENDED
ANOTHER 30 POINT
COURSE ENTITLED,
‘MAKING SENSE OF
THINGS.’ VERY APT?
”
The introduction to the Making
Sense of Things course explains: ‘As
you progress through the module, we
would like you to think about material
objects as a new and exciting way of
accessing knowledge about both the past
and the present, and within a variety of
academic disciplines. Too often,
academics focus on words at the expense
of things, despite the fact, as we will be
reminded in Book 2, that words
themselves are more often than not
presented to us in physical form (paper,
books, radio, television, or the computer
that I am currently using). By
reconsidering the place of objects in
knowledge, we hope that you will find
the experience of studying material
culture as liberating as it has been for us
in writing and constructing this
module.‘ Blimey! I found it hard
enough getting my head round the
intro - now, if I can get past Book 3:
Elvis pilgrimage and relics’ I’m home
and dry.
Whilst still on an ‘academic’ theme,
I don’t know whether you saw the
‘Poetry Competition’ in Taxi which
appeared a couple of issues ago, but I
thought I’d give it a go and
submitted a poem. The ode had to be
no longer than 10 lines and you could
only submit one effort. I jotted down
some thoughts and ideas and came
up with a kernel of ‘blank verse.’
Despite analysing, refining,
compressing, compacting and editing
the piece for hours on end, I couldn’t
get it down to the requisite 10 lines.
So I hope TAXI editor Steve will put
me out of my whimsical misery, and
publish it in my column?
‘On me coat!’ (a true story...)
It was a while back, before Victoria Station
was a blueprint in progress. ‘The good old
days!’ Buses roared in and out of bays.
Taxis beetled to and fro from ranks and
feeders; and people - they strode across
zebras; dawdled...they seem....caught in a
dream? The station forecourt is criss
crossed relentlessly with humanity and
transportation. Mums and dads and
children hold hands. Ladies in tailored
suits, share views, wear sensible shoes
and display an element of grubby cuff.
Blokes with alice bands carry rucksacks.
Tourists, stepping into fantasies, hold
their breath, look left. Dice with death.
The station is a magnet; a Betjamen
landscape, full of fast food and stanzas.
Philosophic thinkers; cheap wine
drinkers.The passenger door thuds and
I’m away amongst the hustle of bodies
and double deckers, flexing my diesel
muscle. From the corner of an eye I see a
shape. It lurches forward, hits the rear,
near side of my taxi and falls to the
ground. I brake, emergency, and spill out.
People, “I saw him do it!” crowd around
I kneel down. A lump spring-loads in my
throat. “Move the cab,” croaks the
crumpled form. “Are you badly injured?”
I ask, fearfully. “No!” says the crumpled
form, “you’re on me coat!” n
LONDON TAXI REPAIRS
• WE GUARANTEE TO BEAT ANY PRICE LIKE FOR LIKE
• DIAGNOSTICS TX’S AND VITO’S
• APPROVED SERVICE ENGINEERS
• QUALIFIED MERCEDES TECHNICIANS
• REAR STEER REPAIRS
• VITO SERVICING
• QUALIFIED LTI TECHNICIANS
• FULL LTI DIAGNOSTICS
• RUNNING REPAIRS AND SERVICING
• GENUINE PARTS
A&N
TAXI REPAIRS
0207 033 6638
2a Three Colts Lane Bethnal Green E2 6JL
Mon – Fri 7am – 7pm • Sat 8am – 3pm
RUNNING REPAIRS | SERVICING | ELECTRICAL
OVERHAULS | AIR CONDITIONING | DIAGNOSTICS