February 2012 - Association of Dutch Businessmen

Dutch losing the plot
by Richard Soemita
Not sure what it is these days but perhaps I’m getting more
comfortable with the easy, but boring life in Singapore
where every other sunny day looks like the previous day,
apart from a heavy thunderstorm that floods Orchard Road.
Please note that the PUB now calls it ponding since flooding
sounds too dramatic. But the main reason for ponding is
that this will make the public focus on a natural abnormality
rather than being blamed for not doing a proper irrigation
job. The next day the newspapers report that yet again they
have brought in some heavy water experts to see how and
when they will replace the current SGD 200,000 dam that
should be more sophisticated than the Zeeland Waterkering.
During the last flooding apparently one forgot to press the
dam button in time and all was flooded within minutes. Next
time when I will visit our Ambassador in the Liat Towers I
will talk to one of the dam workers and tell him to watch the
dark clouds coming in and press the button immediately. A
permanent ‘Bangladeshi cloud watcher’ will cost less than
SGD 5,000 (one flooded Hermes Birkin bag alone cost SGD
25,000) a year and the lucky fellow can drink coffee at the
Starbucks all day. Advertise this in the papers and you will
cause a stampede at the MoM.
My mom came over for the Christmas holidays and
brought me a whole stack of Dutch newspapers, amongst
Unox erwtensoep, Hamkas chips and Old Amsterdam
column
cheese. I generally enjoy reading the debates and silly
arguments (about nothing!) that goes on in Parliament, but
what currently goes on in Holland is shocking. Two Dutch
TV hosts on the BNN show Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno
cooked and ate each other’s flesh. A butcher advised them
which were the best cuts of human flesh, and a surgeon
removed the strips of muscle from Storm’s left buttock
cheek and Zeno’s abdomen. A chef fried the flesh ‘on air’,
and served it to Storm and Zeno with green asparagus on
the side. Cannibalism is legal in the Netherlands. “Only
when it involves maltreatment or when it violates common
decency is cannibalism illegal,” according to Gerard Spong
(who else!), who specializes in criminal law. In the same
paper I read the following headlines: Cabrio arsonist strikes
again in Waalwijk; Increased violence on bus drivers; Dutch
Police is going through a massive re-organization, however
they cannot decide on the future ‘strategy’; Mysterious
murder of Russian girl in Spijkenisse; Drunken man in
Wijchen wants to destroy cafe with his bulldozer; Sex abuse
in mental institutes much larger than initially thought;
Father of kids football team threatens referee of 12 years
old; Ajax supporter ran on the pitch to attack AZ keeper;
Prisoner accidently strangled when held down (at least this
happens in Singapore in a more civilized way: by hanging).
The above is in shear contrast to Singapore where the
only shocking (for SG standards!) events for the last decade
was: MRT slightly delayed since its opening 20+ years ago.
In Europe train delays are the norm so don’t understand
the fuss and why the CEO of SMRT left. In Holland you
probably would get a bonus if the train was NOT delayed for
one day. And more recently the salary cuts of the Cabinet
who now claim that it is a huge sacrifice on their life style,
not to mention their salaries that are 5 times more than
Obama, Sarkozy and Merkel, but not Beatrix. Lets therefore
enjoy Singapore for another year and hopefully enjoy the
New Year’s party at the Ambassador’s home for many years
to come. During the party I expressed my concern to Mr
Jansing for him getting wet feet and socks during an Orchard
flooding. So I asked him if he’s being carried to the dry part
on a sedan chair (like the one Cleopatra was carried on by
8 servants). Making the usual ‘bridge’ from chairs would be
too dangerous. His answer was: No... I........
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