sponsoring through the twelve steps - Overeaters Anonymous

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113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 123 124 125 126 127 128 129 130 131 132 133 134 135 136 137 138 139 140 141 142 143 144 145 146 147 148 149 150 151 STEP ONE: We admitted we were powerless over food—that our lives had become unmanageable. Step One has two parts: admitting powerlessness and admitting unmanageability. To better understand these concepts, sponsors will have their sponsees read Step information, either alone or with the sponsor. Suggest reading Step One from the “Twelve and Twelve” literature. Discussing the ideas or questions that arise from these readings can help in understanding compulsive eating as a serious three-fold disease. Following are examples of questions to use in discussion or writing assignments: How do you know you are a compulsive eater? What evidence shows that you are powerless over food? What methods have you used to control your eating or weight? When do you first remember being unhappy about your size or eating behaviors? What were the results of your last binge? How can compulsive eating be a matter of life or death? Is there any other diet or weight-loss program you want to try? Can you trust yourself with food? Do you feel defeated by food? Are you willing to go to any length to recover? What does “going to any length” mean to you? How has food made your life unmanageable? Do parts of your life seem out of control? Recount your eating history. If sponsees are not sure they are ready to follow a plan of eating or to work the Steps, they will still benefit from attending more meetings or talking to other OA members. If sponsees want to try methods other than OA (or other methods in addition to OA) to recover from compulsive eating and compulsive food behaviors, encourage them to do so. Sponsors share their experience, strength and hope with sponsees. OA welcomes all who have a desire to stop eating compulsively. If your sponsee is following suggestions and shows a willingness to embrace the program, continue sharing your experience of working the Steps and go on to Step Two. STEP TWO: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Like Step One, Step Two has two components: coming to believe and accepting the need to have sanity restored. A commonly accepted definition of insanity is “doing the same thing and expecting a different result.” Some sponsors discuss the idea of insanity first, then the belief in a power greater than ourselves. Whichever approach you use, being powerless necessitates finding some kind of power to do the seemingly impossible. To 4
152 153 154 155 156 157 158 159 160 161 162 163 164 165 166 167 168 169 170 171 172 173 174 175 176 177 178 179 180 181 182 183 184 185 186 187 188 189 190 help with this process, suggest that your sponsee read Step Two in the “Twelve and Twelve” literature. After attending meetings and seeing the recovery of other OA members, some sponsees, particularly those who are agnostics or atheists, come to believe in the OA Fellowship and its tools as powers greater than themselves. Although Step Two does not mention God, some people may turn to a Higher Power from an organized religion or their childhood understanding. Honesty, willingness and open-mindedness are all that are necessary for sponsees to move through this Step, whether they come into OA with a strong faith or with an agnostic or atheistic disposition. As the OA “Twelve and Twelve” points out, we can “set aside theological arguments and examine the idea of spiritual power in the light of our own desperate need for help with our lives” (p. 14). Some of these questions may be useful: Have you demonstrated insane behaviors concerning food? Do you believe you need to be restored to sanity? Have you come to believe recovery is possible? Being powerless over food, can you see the need to find a Higher Power to help you recover? What powers are greater than you are? What in the OA program has helped you thus far? What do you believe has the power to restore you to sanity? Are you willing to believe in a power greater than you are? One definition of a compulsion is “an irresistible urge to perform an irrational act.” Giving socially acceptable reasons for socially unacceptable behavior is rationalizing. Although compulsive overeaters may be rational in many respects, most have been insane with their eating behaviors. Many OA members admit to rationalizing and making excuses for compulsive eating. Generate discussion about compulsions and insane behaviors by asking questions such as the following: Do you continue to expect different results from the same behaviors? Do you have irresistible urges to eat or control your food? Do you make excuses for or rationalize your eating behaviors? Have you ever considered that compulsive eating is not rational or sane? Do you have difficulty believing the evidence shown in the mirror, on the scales or by clothes that don’t fit? What are irrational ways in which you use food? Have you ever exhibited unacceptable eating behaviors alone or with others? Do you binge, purge, sneak, hide or restrict food? Is it impossible to stop your eating behaviors despite feelings of humiliation, shame and remorse? 5
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sponsoring through the twelve steps - Overeaters Anonymous

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