Stripping the Illusion Lap Dancing: Exposing the Reality of ... - Object

Object: Challenging Objectification 

Stripping the Illusion 

Lap Dancing: Exposing the Reality of the Lap 

Dancing Industry 

Since launching in 2003 OBJECT has worked to campaign against the mainstreaming 

of the porn and sex industries that has come to characterise contemporary society. 

This sex-object ideal propagates a derogatory and demeaning attitude towards 

women symptomatic of violence and discrimination against women and girls. The 

proliferation of lap dancing clubs has facilitated this mainstreaming process and led to 

a situation in which lap dancing kits are sold in the toys and games sections of 

leading retailers 1 , and pole dancing classes are being offered to girls aged as young 

as three 2 . 

Despite links with commercial sexual exploitation, until April 2010 lap dancing clubs 

have been licensed in the same way as cafes and karaoke bars as an ordinary part of 

the leisure industry. This acted as a green light to the industry which doubled in size 

over 5 years. 

In a combined effort OBJECT and The Fawcett Society successfully campaigned to 

change the legislation in 2009 to recognise lap dancing clubs as Sexual Entertainment 

Venues, enforcing appropriate laws to regulate such establishments and allowing 

councils to set limits to the number of clubs they licence – which can be set at zero. 

1 Eden, I. (2007) Inappropriate Behaviour: Adult Venues and Licensing in London, London: The Lilith Project, Eaves 

Housing for Women. 

2 http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2002697/Little-Spinners-pole-dancing-classes-children-young-THREE.html (last 

visited September 6th 2011) 

1


However through the growth of lap dancing clubs a normalisation of attitudes towards 

the industry has developed and subsists regardless of this legal shift. The damaging 

perception this generates only undermines the severity of its impact both on an 

external level of society and on an internal level of distorting the reality of 

experiences within the industry. 

This report aims to challenge the widespread perception attached to lap dancing clubs 

that claim they are merely ‘harmless fun’ through presenting a collation of statistical 

and personal testimonies which directly tackle the myths that serve to justify the 

exploitation of women within this industry. 

By questioning the very myths that comprise the central points of reasoning for the 

apparent harmless nature of lap dancing clubs, the underlying realities will be 

exposed to highlight both the exploitative practices of the industry and the impact of 

such venues on a larger social scale. Importantly, this report expands the debate 

away from the contentious and simplistic justification of ‘choice’ repeatedly used by 

the industry but rather considers lap dancing clubs in a broader context of the social 

implications that this work has on attitudes towards women and gender inequality as 

a whole. 

2


Questioning the Myths 

Choice? 

To enter the industry... 

“I was fired from my office job and needed money fast... I was at a point in my life 

where I felt helpless and hopeless and somehow I felt that it was all I could do.” 

„Lucy‟ 3 

“[My] motivation to begin dancing is now what is perceived as somewhat of a cliché, I 

wanted to go to university and I could not afford to.” 

„Liz‟ 4 

“I was unemployed, I had rent and bills to pay, and it seemed like an easy way to get 

myself out of a mess.” 

Karen 5 

To stay.... 

“I can‟t do anything else... I started in that job when I was 19, and for a few years 

the going was good. I was earning a decent living, way better than anything I could 

earn working in a shop or a bar. But by the time I realised how much it was fucking 

me up it was too late.” 

Ex-pole dancer now pole dancing teacher 6 

3 OBJECT interview 

4 Ibid 

5 From the forthcoming book Stripped: The Reality of Lap Dancing. Jennifer Hayashi Danns with Sandrine Leveque 

6 Ibid. 

3


Empowering? 

“If you regard having fleeting sexual power over men, for about 1 second then yes, 

(this is the moment when you actually get him to agree to dance), but this power 

disappears the second you start removing your clothes for him.” 

„Alexandra‟ 7 

“A lot of people would drink a lot to get through it... Or people would turn up for work 

drunk. 90% were drunk by the end of the night. So they were more vulnerable [...] I 

don‟t think anyone feels empowered.” 

„Sarah‟ 8 

“I don‟t think that topless dancing is empowering for women - it is empowering for 

men. And it's not just sexual - these men like being in an environment where women 

give them lavish attention, laugh at their jokes, flirt with them and ultimately get 

their tits out for them. Women in the 'normal' world are not usually so biddable. The 

difficulty is that it feels empowering, because you feel that you have something the 

man wants. I think most of us don't take the trouble to distinguish between whether 

this power is real or just a feeling, an illusion. And let's face it - if you're a woman 

working in the lap dancing industry, for whatever reason, it's a hell of a lot more 

comfortable to believe that you're empowered than to believe you're deluding 

yourself. As Mary Wollstonecraft so distinctly put it in 1792, "the illegitimate power 

which [women] obtain by degrading themselves is a curse." 

„Joanne‟ 9 


8 Ibid 

9 From the forthcoming book Stripped: The Reality of Lap Dancing. Jennifer Hayashi Danns with Sandrine Leveque. 

4


“After a few years of watching and learning, I decided that the men have always got 

the power. They run the industry, they hire the dancers, they stock the bars, they 

produce the currency, they choose who dances for them, they decide who goes home 

happy, they pay. And as lovely as it may be to think that you are making them pay, 

that they are paying for the pleasure of your company- the only reason anyone is 

there at all is because the men are the ones with the money – and therefore, 

ultimately, the power.” 

Ex-Waitress in a Lap Dancing Club 10 

“It‟s not empowering, it‟s very disempowering. It‟s harmful... It‟s very dangerous to 

define yourself through the eyes of these men who are buying your body. I see that 

now- I wish I could get other women to see it.” 

„Angela‟ 11 

“For all the „we-love-it‟, „it‟s empowering‟ talk, I think that most women who do it 

don‟t feel anything positive about it. You just feel you can‟t make money any other 

way, that‟s the most important thing about you... you are a sexual object, and that‟s 

what men want, and that‟s all you are.” 

„Ellie‟ 12 

“With us, [men] didn‟t feel the need to pretend that we were “equal”. We were there 

to be used and they carried on like to them it was obvious that women were inferior 

to men - discussion closed. [They acted like] we were “all the same”, easily 

interchangeable, one substituted for another in a blink of an eye and also a nuisance 

when we talked.” 

„Tatyana‟ 13 

10 Ibid. 

11 Walter, N., 2010. Living Dolls. London; Virago Press. p.61. 

12 Walter, N., 2010. Living Dolls. London; Virago Press.p.45 

5


“In society, attractive women are perceived as having sexual power. So women are 

encouraged to believe that by being employed as a lap dancer, they are inherently 

powerful [...] The myths imply that we can manipulate or seduce men according to 

our wishes and that men are helpless to resist. So if your job, as a lap dancer, 

revolves around exercising this sexual “power”, then you may feel as if you are 

powerful and empowered. But is that real power? [...] The reality is that in the clubs, 

as in so much of life, the real power lies where the money is. The men have the 

money, and therefore the men have the power... 

My fundamental belief about this, having worked in clubs, is that the reason why men 

want to pay for lap dances is not that they are visually titillated, but rather that 

paying a woman to take her clothes off is an act of power...Lap dancing is the 

opposite of empowering.” 

„Lucy‟ 14 

Easy Money? 

“I don‟t know anywhere you get paid a wage... you have to pay what‟s called a house 

fee... That‟s not for doing anything. Then they take a percentage of what you earn... 

If the managers see you having a good night, they bump up the commission level... 

there are lots of hidden costs they don‟t tell you about... 

Even if someone didn‟t earn during the night, they were still giving the club £80. 

[Management] weren‟t concerned if people went away having not earned anything.” 

„Sarah‟ 15 

13 Banyard, K., 2010. The Equality Illusion. London; Faber and Faber Limited. p. 168 


15 Ibid 

6


“It seemed very glamorous at first, the earning potential appeared to be huge, which 

sadly turned out not to be not the case in reality due to the high fees the clubs 

charged mainly, and the lifestyle which the profession dictates you will lead.” 


“[...] it resulted in a complete lack of social life/friendships/activities etc at university 

and many close calls with expulsion due to missing more morning classes than even 

the most lively night-lovers in my year. It also brought along its own huge bag of 

issues that eating baked beans in a shared student house for five years might not 

have...There are definitely prices to pay – even if they‟re not monetary.” 

Ex-Waitress in Lap Dancing Club 17 

“Men who visit clubs often get the impression that performers are happy, empowered 

and have more money than them! It is important within the club, to appear wealthy 

and successful. Are any of them really, really making genuine money? No. I don‟t 

believe they are, and if they are, they are the exception to the rule. It‟s the only job 

I‟ve ever had where some nights I could end up paying to be there.” 

„Lucy‟ 18 




7


Glamorous? 

“It seemed very glamorous at first, the earning potential appeared to be huge, which 

sadly turned out not to be not the case in reality.” 


“You have to wear the clothing they tell you to wear and that comes out of your 

earnings. It‟s not glamorous. It‟s out of the pages of a men‟s mag...” 

„Sarah‟ 

“I went into this job mistakenly believing that it was in some way going to be- for me 

as a sexual being- empowering. You‟re a dancer of independent means, you‟re 

glamorous, exciting. You honestly believe you‟re going to make really good money. 

Whereas in reality you are totally skint, this promised money never comes. Added to 

which you‟re potty, exhausted, hungover. You have a rash from constantly shaving 

your pubes, and with every night that goes by you being to feel less and less like a 

human being.” 

„Lucy‟ 20 

“On the one hand you‟re this glamorous creature that everyone apparently desires 

and wants to be like (regular women told us many times they were jealous of us and 

wished they‟d looked like us or could dance/do pole work like us). But on the other 

hand we were openly disrespected, exploited, abused and treated with hostility and 

contempt.” 



20 Banyard, K., 2010. The Equality Illusion. London; Faber and Faber Limited. p.139 


8


“I hated myself and everyone else in there but felt trapped... Increasingly, rather 

than getting dances, I was making customers buy me a drink instead... I would lose 

my dancing money, fight with other girls and customers and not remember getting 

back home. It was hell.” 

„Liz‟ 22 

A good working environment? 

“The management in all the clubs treated the girls very badly, they were 

discriminatory, frequently derogatory in their comments to and about the girls... and 

purposely perpetrated an atmosphere, of intense competition between the girls meant 

to intimidate and divide us... The customers' attitudes varied between politeness to 

downright hostility and abuse.” 


“Men would come in and ask the manager did she have any black girls and I would be 

wheeled over like a prize cow. [...] At the time this process seemed normal but with 

hindsight it is dehumanising and basically a form of cattle market.” 

„Liz‟ 24 

“We are the main attraction yet we‟re treated worse than anyone in the business. In 

this hierarchy, female dancers are at the bottom of the food chain. We have no rights 

to speak of. We can be fired for no reason. There is no sick pay or pension.” 



23 Ibid 

24 Ibid 

9


“Waitresses were still given nightly „inspections‟ by the (male) management to ensure 

the correct uniform (stockings, suspenders, corset, French knickers) was being worn 

in an appropriate style. The male waiters, however, who did EXACTLY the same job as 

the females, were required to wear trousers, a waistcoat and a bow-tie. They were 

generally never „inspected‟ and enjoyed far more perks than any of the girls could 

hope to grab...” 

Ex-Waitress in Lap Dancing Club 26 

“The thing about lap dancing – what you don‟t realise until you‟re finished with it and 

you‟re looking back – is that it‟s so weird. There are these men you‟ve never met 

before in your life and they come in, give you some money, and you take your clothes 

off for them. It‟s bizarre. You have these conversations with people that you would 

never have in a normal situation – I remember this one guy who started going on 

about the size of my nipples, and I had to just carry on dancing and chatting to him. 

And when you‟re working in an environment which is that abnormal, it‟s very hard not 

to let it affect your life outside work.” 

„Jackie‟ 27 

“Men, male managers and male bouncers operated the club. It was blatant that they 

did not respect us... On the large part, the bouncers served their purpose in terms of 

warding off any unwanted customers, but they were never stood right next to us. If a 

customer tried to grope us or verbally attack us during a lap dance, which they quite 

often did, we would have to diffuse the situation ourselves. Despite the lack of 

security during these situations, the manager was still happy to take expensive house 

fees from us and issue hefty fines for nonsensical reasons. 

25 Banyard, K., 2010. The Equality Illusion. London; Faber and Faber Limited. p.163. 


27 Ibid. 

10


On one occasion a customer took it a step too far. I was accustomed to verbal abuse 

and constant propositions - that I had learned to handle - usually, I could see a man's 

hands rising up to grip my waist from a mile off. I was dancing as normal, when the 

customer pushed his hand between my legs. I darted quickly away from him, feeling 

violated and physically sick. I looked around me and there were no bouncers present 

to intercept and help me. I decided I would have to take care of the matter myself, so 

I slapped him hard across the face. 

Despite having notified the bouncers of the incident, I still saw the customer sitting 

drinking with his friends at the club. I could see him laughing at me, probably 

discussing the act that he had gotten away with to his friends, like I was nothing but 

an object.” 

„Alicia‟ 28 

“You know… men grabbing you or insulting you, or just being scary. Every time I left 

the club after a shift I wondered if one of them was going to attack me as I walked to 

my car. The bouncers are meant to look after you but they can‟t watch everyone all 

the time.” 

Ex - pole dancer 29 

“Two Asian girls I worked with were illegal and everybody knew the boss liked illegal 

immigrants. Since an illegal immigrant is a security risk the club owner may demand 

she pay three times the normal house fee” 

Sayadinna 

Thomas 30 

28 From forthcoming book Stripped: The Reality of Lap Dancing. Jennifer Hayashi Danns with Sandrine Leveque. 

29 Ibid. 


11


“If the managers liked you then you‟d be put in one of the central clubs, where all the 

lawyers and businessmen and city boys go. That‟s where you can make real money. 

But it‟s also where you find more than just lap dancing, if you know what I mean. It‟s 

a competitive environment, not a very nice environment. They always have more girls 

working than they actually need. So loads of the dancers get pissed or wasted on 

coke before their shift so that they lower their inhibitions and perform better... 

The people who run these clubs, they‟re not nice people. They‟re scary. From time to 

time these shadowy figures would come in, and you just knew that they were the 

people in charge of it all. I never wanted to rock the boat.” 

Karen 31 

Links to Prostitution 

“There was a clear link between the lap-dancing clubs and the brothels, although not 

formal. It is known that taxi drivers (including licensed black cabs) can receive 

commission for taking groups of men to lap-dancing clubs... 

I think that the fact that the men had come from the lap-dancing clubs meant that 

they had already stopped seeing us as human or individual... [...] 

There was a very aggressive „pack mentality‟ and they would often be very rude and 

would be grabbing, slapping and touching us in the main seating area... The 

overwhelming feeling that I got was that they really hated us 

I was contacted by the brothel owner and she told me that she was planning to open 

up a lap-dancing club. She had previously been prosecuted for running brothels so 

she was aware that it was risky to continue operating her saunas.[...] Her proposal 

was that, once opened the lap-dancing club would act as a front for prostitution and it 


12


was made very clear that the women would be expected to have sex with punters 

either on or off premises." 

„Liane‟ ex-prostituted woman 32 

“It‟s the same as going to a prostitute, but [men] wouldn‟t think of it like that. They 

just think, it‟s what lads do, and their girlfriends think it‟s OK, and society thinks it‟s a 

bit of fun... And it isn‟t. But because everyone thinks it is, how can they see it isn‟t?” 


“Club regulations stated that it was necessary to remain one foot away from the 

customers at all times. But it‟s laughable to suggest that this was abided by... Not 

touching, not exposing your genitals, not allowing men to touch you is the exception 

rather than the rule. [...] 

In a culture where you are literally selling yourself for cash and you are working on 

commission, then you‟d have to work very hard indeed to stop people going for extra 

money if they know they can make it. Since there are no incentives to encourage 

dancers not to break the rules, and the customers are always prepared to pay more 

to get more, then licensing terms will always be broken.” 

„Lucy‟ 34 

“The fact is that if you break the rules, you make more money. If one dancer starts 

breaking the rules then the pressure is on other dancers to do the same. Otherwise a 

bloke would think, „Well, that dancer charged me £20 and stayed three feet away, but 

that one charged me just the same and she put her breasts in my mouth and sat on 

my crotch‟...Eventually you start to wonder, „what is the difference between me and a 

prostitute?‟” 

„Elena‟ 35 


33 Walter, N., 2010. Living Dolls. London; Virago Press. p.46 


13


“I vividly remember one woman putting her finger into her vagina, drawing it out 

again and waving it under the customer‟s nose so he could smell it; this happened 

often, and a number of the women did it. They charged more for that. They also had 

an impossible-looking move that involved doing a headstand in front of the customer 

and spreading their legs wide open. The effect was that there was an expectation 

from the customers that the rest of us would do the same things.” 

„Anna‟ 36 

“The rules shifted. If dancers wanted to stay on top of their game, they would have to 

adhere to these new rules. It was simple. The customers were visiting the club for a 

sexual release. If some lap dancers were offering more, they were the lap dancers 

they would go for. The customers grew more disrespectful, asking us why we were 

not offering the same services as the other girls.” 

„Alicia‟ 37 

“Our undercover filming was bringing results. At clubs around the country dancers 

were making it clear to our reporter that if he had the money then sex was on offer. 

At one London club there even appeared to be a back room which the dancers 

specifically used as a brothel. In other clubs, from Blackpool to Newquay, dancers told 

him they could come back to his hotel room, or get a „dirtier dance‟. Our footage 

demolished the lie that lap dancing was a leisure pursuit like any other.” 

Journalist 38 

“Now that the police are clamping down on kerb crawlers it‟s easier to come in here 

and pick up a bird. Some of them sued to work the Cross, but come here now, 

because it‟s the same punters. Everyone knows you can get one here.” 

Punter 39 

35 ‘Elena’ quoted in ‘I was an Object, not person’, The Guardian: 2008. 



38 Ibid. 

14


“Look at him. He‟s at it. I‟ve seen him before and he is always after the young ones. 

Everyone knows he‟s a pimp.” [In reference to a man in a lap dancing club] 

Punter 40 

Why maintain the illusion? 

“If your whole living depends on your body, on how attractive you are, then nothing 

is more embarrassing than admitting you haven‟t really made any money... I felt that 

if I admitted I wasn‟t earning, it was like saying “no one wants me”. If you are - or 

have been - a lap dancer then you have an investment in believing that it is a 

worthwhile thing to do and that there is nothing wrong with it. It‟s hard to say: „I 

made a mistake. I betrayed myself. I‟m unhappy.‟ It‟s hard to say: „actually some 

bloke offered me an extra twenty quid to suck my tits and I said yes because the TV 

license man came round and I really need the money‟.” 

„Lucy‟ 41 

“I think that people who have done it have something very big invested in pretending 

that it is all right, because to say anything else is embarrassing. The reality is not 

what the perception of it is. If you say it‟s really degrading, and you did that, it says 

so much about you, or it as if it does. But it is degrading.” 


39 Bindel, J., 2004. Profitable Exploits: Lap Dancing in the UK, Child and Women Abuse Studies Unit, London 

Metropolitan University. p.52. 

40 Ibid. 


42 Walter, N., 2010. Living Dolls. London; Virago Press. p.45 

15


“For every Jordan there are millions of girls who will never become famous, and will 

either: go into prostitution as they get older or give up the industry and do something 

else, but be emotionally and even physically damaged by the industry.” 


“On the one hand, I think there are many performers who see the business as being 

genuinely positive e.g. empowerment, finances etc. On the other hand, I think many 

of the performers exaggerate their opinions to help justify their choice to themselves. 

As this is something that constantly goes on between performers – a sort of mutual 

appreciation and encouragement for having found themselves in the business (which 

is a necessity for morale and strength, which speaks volumes in itself) it is easy for 

some people to gloss over any reservations or negative opinions they may hold. 

I do believe it is also only possible to have a really clear, independent opinion on it 

when you have actually left the industry. If performers were performing whilst 

consciously agreeing with arguments against the industry, it would make life very 

difficult for them mentally, so I think many of them block it out until they know they 

are close to leaving.” 

Ex-Waitress at Lap dancing Club 44 

“When you‟re actually working as a dancer, you‟re not going to admit that you‟re not 

making loads of money. If you do, then you‟re basically admitting that you‟re not very 

good at your job – and part of the whole act is making out that you‟re desirable and 

every man wants pay to spend time with you. And aside from all that, everyone has 

their pride. Who‟s going to admit that no-one wants to see you take your clothes off?” 

„Jacqui‟ 45 



45 Ibid 

16


“Often if someone asked about my experience as a dancer I have responded with a 

socially desirable answer, and simply asserted that I enjoyed dancing, that I made a 

lot of money but in the end dancing was not for me. This explanation in no way 

conveyed the extremity of emotion and mental distress I experienced as a dancer and 

in no way conveys the sexual degradation and humiliation I experienced and 

observed during my short dancing career. 

I believe that my experience is reflective of young women now who begin lap 

dancing perceiving it to be glamorous and with the expectation of earning vast 

amounts of money but who will receive a shock and have to face the decision if this is 

the industry they truly want to be involved in.” 

„Liz‟ 46 

Reasons for Leaving 

“...what was increasingly bothering me, was the insincerity of it all – the women 

pretending to be interested in their customers, the managers pretending that girls 

were making a fortune in their clubs, the whole industry pretending that this was a 

normal Friday night out on the High Street.” 

Journalist 47 

“Self disgust, self loathing of myself and the male sex in general. It was impossible to 

maintain a healthy personal relationship with an opposite member of sex whilst 

working in the profession. It was the hardest work I have ever done, either 

physically, emotionally, or mentally.” 



47 Ibid. 


17


“All the way through dancing I had used alcohol, to the point that I could not work 

without a drink... I was told by customers that my dance was shit because I was not 

touching myself or them. It was unbearable and mentally difficult to deal with... At 

the end it was dehumanising, soul destroying and filled with desperation.” 

„Liz‟ 49 

“I had started seeing a therapist while I was in the club, and was beginning to work 

through some of my problems and realising that I could do something better with my 

life [...] I now realise that lap dancing is one of the hardest things I ever did. I found 

it tough, soul destroying and it had begun to strip me of my humanity. I began to see 

everyone in terms of how much I could get out of them. I had begun to really hate 

men... I stopped caring about people around me because I was surrounded by this 

atmosphere of constant mistrust.” 

„Lucy‟ 50 

“It made me have a very negative sexual image for a long time. It made sex seem 

unconnected with anything that could be loving and safe. It made me devalue myself 

in what I could do outside of the industry... I felt I‟d failed myself in terms of 

ambitions for my life, my work, my career.” 

Ex-Waitress at Lap Dancing Club 51 

External Effects of lap dancing clubs on Society: 

Contrary to arguments claiming that lap dancing clubs provide a closed space for men 

to ‘let frustration out’ 52 , the following sections show how the attitudes outlined above 

are not confined to the parameters of lap dancing clubs but expand into wider society. 


50 Ibid 


18


This reinforces the view that the expansion of lap dancing clubs is linked to increased 

levels of sexual harassment in the vicinity and to attitudes associated with high levels 

of violence and discrimination against women more widely. 

Lap dancing clubs and street sexual harassment: 

“For a time I lived next door to a pub that hosted table dancing. I was a support 

worker to adults with learning disabilities and worked shifts, often ending at 11pm... 

on those days I was afraid to go home because of the time it took to unlock the 

door... I was frightened of the men who came out of that pub, especially the men in 

groups leering at women walking past... I was frightened of being followed into my 

flat because those men seemed to think that they had a right to do anything they 

liked. They would stare at me, make comments to each other about my legs, tell me 

they would give me one... I moved as soon as I could, because of that.” 

Tara, resident 53 

“As a night worker often coming to or from the area after dark, I've frequently been 

harassed by both the punters using [lap dancing clubs], and the 'security' staff 

supposedly working the doors. The kind of leching leering harassment that all women 

living and working within Hackney could frankly do without is just part for the course 

due to the atmosphere and philosophy that these places perpetuate.” 

Ms. Star, resident 54 

52 Frank, K (2005) ‘Exploring the Motivations and Fantasies of Strip Club Customers in Relation to Legal Regulations’, Sexual 

Behaviour, Vol. 34 (5), pp.487-504. 

53 Response to consultation 

54 Ibid 

19


Impact of lap dancing clubs on young children: 

“On several occasions I have experienced sexual harassment: men often make 

sexually suggestive comments or gestures to me as I walk past [the lap dancing 

clubs]. I believe that, as a female resident, I should have the right to live without fear 

of violence and threat, and to walk around my local neighbourhood as freely as any 

male resident. At present, I do not believe I have that right.” 

Elaine, resident 55 

“There is a bus stop near the railway station that I have used very often since I have 

lived here. Until a strip club opened outside this bus stop, I had never experienced a 

single instance of harassment, intimidation or antisocial behaviour while waiting there 

at up to eleven at night. Since it opened I have been subjected to numerous counts of 

verbal abuse [...] On separate occasions I have had men say to me “How much for a 

dance love? I‟ll give you £20 to get yours out.” “Show us your titties, darling” “Give 

us a dance sweetheart, just a treat for the lads”.” 

Sarah 56 

“My 3 year old notices everything around him. What sense is he meant to make of the 

explicit posters which are designed to be sexually provocative and which so 

comprehensively degrade and dehumanise women? Does he begin to see women 

differently? Or does he compartmentalise that there is another group of women, not 

really like the ones he knows? Either way, regardless of all other input, his 

experience of what women are is tainted. What happens to the slightly older children 



20


who can read the degrading messages? And the teenagers who are beginning to 

explore their own sexuality? 

And what should I do as a mother? Start talking to him about the sexual oppression 

of women at the age of 3? Ignore the images and hope he doesn‟t mention them, 

although I know he sees them? I want my boys to grow up respecting women and 

girls. These establishments and their advertising undermine this.” 

Jo, Resident 57 

“When I take my daughter swimming on the weekends, she asks me to make sure 

that we leave before nightfall. Our route from the swimming pool to the train takes us 

past lap dancing clubs, and although my daughter has no idea of what is going on, 

she finds the atmosphere frightening. I often wonder why my city council doesn't 

think about my right to an enjoyable night out, as much as they seem to think about 

the money being spent by men in lap dancing clubs.” 

Meredith, Resident 58 

“I think it‟s terrible that a young girl can accompany her mother to the gym and see 

pole dancing lesson posters. That a young boy will grow up thinking that‟s a normal 

thing for girls to want to do and with the underlying knowledge that could bring; that 

they are at the gym to look good for him. I think it has done so much to make people 

view stripping as a „fun‟ way to make a living, which is just a huge U-turn for women 

in this day and age - that keeping fit is all about keeping sexy.” 

Ex-Watiress at Lap Dancing Club 59 


58 Ibid 


21


Impact on Relationships: 

“I think a lot of girlfriends or wives have this idea in their head of Moulin Rouge, or 

those American clubs you see in films. As though men go to the clubs to watch 

dancing. That isn‟t what happens! If you realised your man was actually kissing 

another woman‟s breasts, or putting his fingers in her vagina, or being masturbated 

by another woman, then would you still not mind?” 

„Lucy‟ 60 

“In February 2008, my immediate family and my ex-boyfriend (M) were in Australia 

for my brother‟s wedding and, two days before, my brother had a stag night. The 

possibility of the men going to a strip club on the night out had crossed my mind but 

as these were intelligent, university educated, articulate men in their thirties, I had – 

subconsciously, I think – judged them incapable of enjoying a strip club. Wrongly as it 

turned out. It came as a huge shock to find out later that night that the group had 

ended up in two strip clubs. My initial reaction was anger, quickly followed by 

confusion...I felt as if M. had been unfaithful to me. 

[...] I am wary of entering into a relationship now because I could end up in a similar 

situation again.” 

„Jessica‟ 61 

“It took me a long time to recover from my experiences as a lap dancer. It took a 

long time before I could look at men as anything other than punters. Working in that 

industry distorts your perception of normal relationships.” 

Karen Ex-Stripper 62 




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“It‟s screwed up my view of men,” she told me. “Every time I see a man now, I just 

see him as a punter. There‟s only so many bad experiences you can have before you 

start hating them all.” 

Ex-Stripper 63 

“O and I were to be married in July 2007 and in June 2007, O organised his own stag 

weekend to Budapest. O assured me before he left for Budapest that he would not be 

visiting / taking part in any lap dance / strip clubs. 

[Once he got back] O told me that he had had a lap dance, in a private room, paid for 

courtesy of the other members of his stag party. O also said that he could not 

remember what the girl even looked like; what colour hair she had; nothing. This 

appalled me. 

[...] It took almost one year, after counselling and the idea to move out from our 

shared flat, to actually forgive O... But to this day, I still cannot forget... and this is 

what haunts out marriage still.” 

„Lea‟ 64 

Impact in the workplace: 

“I am a woman in my early 30‟s, and I am qualified as a solicitor. When I left 

university I worked as a temp in the city for about a year before getting a job in a 

solicitors firm. I was 21, excited, and naïve. I thought it would be a great experience 

working in the City with these “pillars of the community” – as I thought they were. 

The reality turned out to be very different. Never have I been subject to so much 

sexism. Women were only there as objects to be looked at, commented on and 

63 Ibid 


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fawned over... If there were drinks after work you had to be “one of the lads” to fit in. 

In a supposedly professional environment, sexist jokes were banded around 

constantly, along with sexist and pornographic emails. 

The guys referred to their wives or girlfriends as “her indoors”, something they could 

do without, never as loved ones, partners or even fellow human beings. They would 

go to strip clubs in their lunch breaks and not think anything of slapping my bottom 

as they walked past.” 

„Della‟ 65 

“A number of men on my street, particularly those working in the City, visit lap 

dancing clubs. It is not only seen as normal, but part of client entertaining. One 

colleague describes how he would visit them in a limousine with two women having 

sex on the floor of the limousine. A man in a suit paying a young woman to take her 

clothes off in front of him and then placing the bill on a corporate account, is deeply 

shameful, in my view.” 

Andrew City Lawyer 66 

“Often client after-work meetings became visits to strip clubs. At after-work drinks 

very senior managers asked around publicly if any of us knew any good brothels 

because they had Russian dignitaries visiting and they just wanted a couple of nice fit 

mature women to give them a blow job before going out to dinner. This kind of thing 

was just accepted.” 

Sara City Employee 67 

65 2008 Object Testimony 



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Conclusion 

Both within the industry and from an external social perspective, lap dancing clubs 

have explicitly been identified for having a detrimental effect on how women are 

perceived, treated and valued in society. From listening to the experiences of women 

who have worked in clubs, not only is the sexual exploitation, the links with 

prostitution, and the high levels of abuse and harassment evident, but the 

dehumanising factors which underpin the core values that uphold the industry as 

whole are also exposed. 

The varied testimonies in this report directly challenge the common myths which are 

systematically used to justify the existence of the lap dancing industry, exposing the 

deeper, more disturbing roots which are overlooked in the glamorised media portrayal 

of stripping. This report has shown how the existence of lap dancing clubs extends 

into various strands including the creation of ‘no-go’ zones for women, the negative 

impact on children and relationships, and the damaging effect in how women are 

viewed and treated in the workplace and wider society. In particular, this report 

highlights how the proliferation of lap dancing clubs has led to the normalisation of 

sexist attitudes that informs wider systems of gender dynamics dictated to society. 

These testimonies directly contest any arguments that claim lap dancing is ‘harmless 

fun’ demonstrating the complex and critical implications this industry has on society 

and the deeply entrenched misogynist values that compose the very foundation of its 

existence acting as an impediment to gender equality. 

For more research into the industry and information about how to support the 

OBJECT campaign against the proliferation of commercial sexual exploitation 

through lap dancing, see the OBJECT website at www.object.org.uk 

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Stripping the Illusion Lap Dancing: Exposing the Reality of ... - Object

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