Hot, Hard & Howling - OpenDrive

Mari Freeman
“I need to talk. I need to tell you.” He was silent for a minute. She heard a large
intake of breath, as if he were gearing up for something. “My father and my
grandfather both killed their mates in fits of rage.”
She head his footsteps cross her room. Nell held her breath.
“Probably my great-grandfather as well. It’s a sickness. I have it too. I feel it
constantly. Even when you were gone, I felt the constant jealousy. When Mi-ma told me
you were living in that Vampire nest, I destroyed half an acre of trees. Took an axe to
them. Hacked for hours.”
“I—”
“Nell, let me speak, please.” His voice was soft.
She stayed still and kept her eyes closed.
“I’ve always loved you. And I have always fought to keep you far enough out of
my life to keep you safe. I don’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to know what it was
like to feel your body. Because I was afraid once we were intimate, I wouldn’t be able to
resist. And then I’d be destined to repeat the sins of my fathers. I can’t, Nell. I can’t be
what you need, what you deserve.”
Nell had heard stories about his mother’s death in high school, but considered them
rumors based in teenage angst. She’d never even asked Mi-ma or her father about them.
So all this was to keep from hurting her? All these years?
“I’m trying to protect you, not only from Crey, but from myself.”
More tears started rolling down her face. She had been self-centered. In all this time,
she had never considered he might have serious reasons for shutting her out. She had
thought she knew and understood her wolf.
She was wrong. This changed everything.
She thought back to the last time he’d rejected her, back when they were kids really,
and it had felt as if the world were ending. He’d been a jerk then too, intentionally
pushing her away. Trying to get her to go on with her life even though he’d loved her.
A romantic gesture, sure, but…
“Do you think I can just quit?” She wasn’t sure if he was still in the room or not. He
was still close. Trent wouldn’t leave her vulnerable to Crey, she knew that, but was he
still in the room?
She sat up to check. He stood at the end of the bed. He looked even more tired than
she felt.
“You have to, Nell.” His eyes were pleading. “I don’t have the willpower anymore.
I proved that on the playground. I can’t stand not touching you. At the same time, I
can’t stand the thought of hurting you. I need you to do this for us, Nell.”
She’d never seen him show weakness to anyone. It broke her heart. “Come lay
down.”
He closed his eyes and let his shoulders drop. “That’s not exactly helpful.”
50