In this Issue - Purchase College

I
Independent
The Purchase
3rd
Annual
Naked Issue
Online Version
Issue 164
April 17, 2008
www.purchaseindy.com
purchaseindy@gmail.com
Blue Oyster Cult Alumni Returns to Purchase
Executive Candidate Elections
PreShock Line-Up Inside

The Purchase .
Independent
Established 2001
Founding Editor: Glen Parker
Chief Editor:
Adam Tyrrell
Layout Editor:
Sabrina Miller
Office Manager:
Robert Stewart-Rogers
Layout Assistants:
Kristen Benedict
Beth Scorzato
Katherine Lo
Writers:
Tony Cella
Natalie Eilbert
Dana Ellis
Neil Fridd
Jessica Geraci
Elizabeth R. Hyman
Loren Jakobov
Brittney Ouderkirk
T.J. Raphael
David Settanni
J.W. Townsend-Pitt
Photography:
Matthew Epstein
Julie Doynow
Christina Halladay
Cole Mangano
Karina Moscoso
Jessie VanBenschoten
Cheryl Yakacki
Business Manager:
Alice Gullotta
Comics:
Paige Broudy
G.I. Dave
Jesse McLaren
Caitlin Strachan
Jackson S. Wingate
Copy Editors:
James Dier
Website:
PurchaseIndy.com
The Purchase Independent is a
non-profit newspaper, paid for by the
mandatory student activity fee.
The Independent welcomes submissions
from the readers. We are an
open forum for campus issues and
comments about The Independent’s
coverage. We accept letters, articles,
comics, ads, and event listsings.
The deadline for submissions to
be considered for publication in the
following issue is Tuesdays at eight.
After that, you must bribe us with
candy.
Publication of submissions is not
guarenteed, but subject to the discretion
of of the editors.
We prefer that submissions come
to us electronically. Our e-mail address
is: PurchaseIndy@Gmail.com
Backpage quotes can be left in the
Back Page box, a makeshift container
nailed to the wall outside the Media
Board Office, which is located on the
first floor of Campus Center North,
room 1011.
Finally, no anonymous submissions
will be considered. Instead they
will be turned into brownies.
2
BRIEF NEWS
Conservation Tip
This week, try conserving energy by being
more conscious about how you use your electronics.
If you’ll be away from your room for a while, shut
down your computer and unplug all appliances.
Believe it or not, many electronic devices use
energy when plugged in, even when they are shut
off. Screensavers can also be misleading, though it
is a common belief that they save energy, in actuality
they are only protecting the screen from damage.
It’s much better to turn your monitor off when you’re
away. It’s also said that having a dark background
on your computer can save energy. Google once
changed their background to all black in honor of
being environmentally friendly. You can expand
on that by keeping your background dark all of the
time.
~Jessica Geraci
Purchase Opera Presents
Purchase Opera is performing Lee Hiolby’s opera
The Tempest on April 17, 18, 25, and 26 at 8 p.m. at the
PAC. This is the New York area premiere and tickets
are $25 for purchase at the Box Office; give em’ a
call at or visit their website: www.artscenter.org.
This production features students from the Purchase
College School fo the Arts, Conservatory of Music
Voice and Opera Studies program, which is designed
to train and mentor these serious students for a career
in professional classical singing and opera.
Shakespeare’s major play, The Tempest has
been revised by Lee Hoilby with collaboration from
librettist – what the fuck is that? – Mark Shulgasser and
Jacque Trussel, director of Purchase Opera. Trussel
played Caliban in the Des Moines Metro Opera world
premier and Dallas Opera productions. With just
one intermission between Acts II and III the revised
version is about 30 minutes shorter. The conductor is
Hugh Murphy.
~Tony Cella
In this Issue:
Campus ......................................................3
PSGA ........................................................4-6
Arts ............................................................7
Naked .....................................................8-15
Comics ..................................................... .16
Sexy ..........................................................17
Interest ......................................................18
Spotlight on Faculty Series
On April 23 Purchase College Affiliates will
present a Spotlight on Faculty Lecture, “Religious
Identities in Political Conflict: The Iraqi and
European Experience,” at 4:30 p.m. in Humanities
Building, Room 1064. It’s free and open to the
public.
Kempner Distinguished Professor of History
Wayne TeBrake and Political Science Lecturer
Karen Kramer will be featured in a panel discussion
following the lecture. TeBrake is an expert on how
post-conflict societies accommodate religious
differences. According to a press release written
my Anne Brady, “he believes coexistence is the
rule, not the exception, in history and that religious
groups can coexist in spite of deep-seated polarity
or hatred.”
Kramer is a Middle East specialist who has
published widely on the politics and economics
of this region and her current research is focused
on authoritarianism in the Arab world and the
relationship between political and economic
liberalization. Currently she teaches “Iraq and the
Arab World” and “Democratization in the Arab
World,” a course examining the problems and
prospects for democratization in the region.
~Tony Cella
What do you think about the naked issue and the PSGA elections? I love it. The Naked Issue is awesome! Its very artis-

So, If Yo u Wa n t t o Ge t Wi t h An Ol d Du d e
Craigslist Posting Raises Security Concerns
Vo t e Ma n d a t o r y
By Brittany Ouderkirk
Staff Writer
At the PSGA executive elections this spring,
students will be asked to vote on keeping the
student activities fee mandatory or changing
it to voluntary. However, if the activities fee is
voted voluntary, it will have extremely negative
consequences for the entire Purchase
College community, cutting almost everything
that makes this school a fun and unique place
to be.
If the student activities fee becomes voluntary,
students will no longer be required to
pay the $95 per semester that funds campus
clubs, services and organizations and campus
events, among other things. Instead, they
would choose whether or not to pay the fee.
But in this case, with only a portion of the current
funding, most of these things would not
be able to function as they do now.
Services such as WPSR, PTV and the Independent
would no longer exist as they do now,
if at all. Clubs would not get the funding they
currently have and would not be able to hold
most events, and many would cease to exist
entirely. Also, events such as Culture Shock
would no longer take place.
“The mandatory student activities fee
funds everything,” said Lisa Ritchie, Project
Coordinator of NYPIRG at Purchase. “As part of
an organization that works for students’ rights,
NYPIRG also wants students to have as many
“MSAF” Page 19...
By T.J. Raphael
Staff Writer
advantage of younger girls.
Chief of University Police, Steven Greeley,
was notified about the online sexual predators
I feel relatively safe on this campus. I have
walked from The New to Big Haus at 4AM
and felt comfortable in my journey. At times,
though I know it isn’t the safest or smartest
decision, I have left my door unlocked leaving
me completely vulnerable to anyone who
wishes to push the handle down and walk
inside. I usually feel safe on the campus I now
call my home, but I was warned by a friend to
watch out for sexual predators and all around
creeps this weekend at Culture Shock.
and will be informing all officers on duty as
well as the sheriffs department. In an effort to
try and control damage and increase safety for
the event he said that area police departments
will be involved in campus security this
weekend because the staff of 10 UPD officers
simply don’t, “have the man power,” to patrol
this event. The campus police department will
be checking identification (student IDs and
guest passes) at the main entrance to campus.
All guests will have to know the room number
A recent post on CraigsList that and building of those they are here to visit and
was sent to me reads as follows: people without guest passes or IDs will be
SUBJECT: Idea How Old Dudes Can Get escorted off campus or arrested. Pa s s ov e r Passed Ov e r
College Chicks… (SUNY Purchase). In the past Culture Shock has caused
BODY: Go to SUNY Purchase Culture Shock on thousands of dollars worth of damage due to
By Elizabeth R. Hyman
April 18th and 19th. Get a room at the Doral the wild drunken rampages many students Staff Writer
Arrowood Convention Center Hotel. Walk and guests go on. Last year computers from
through woods to campus. Start talking to
stoned college chicks then take them back to
your cool room at Arrowood....A sure thing. To
view the post go to http://newyork.craigslist.
org/wch/rnr/636521360.html. The Arrowood
Hotel borders campus.
This is not an isolated post, another on the
site read: SUBJECT: best place for surprise
sexual encounters (SUNY Purchase). BODY:
Nightime outdoor concert, all the drunk and
stoned college chicks, all the crowds, all the
empty buildings and woods and dorm rooms
to sneak off to...Endless possibilities ooooh
my. To see the post go to http://newyork.
craigslist.org/mnh/rnr/636537315.html.
This has frightened me beyond belief. In
another post on the website there are directions
to our school by air, train, bus and car. It is
disturbing to think about how many people
have read this and may follow the directions
and incentives given by these perverts in their
quest for pussy. I want to warn all students to
the creepy older males that may be lurking
around campus looking for a good time. As
Campus Center North were stolen. Sinks have
been ripped out of the bathroom walls and
there have been countless arrests for fights
and drinking. There will be officers patrolling
the wooded areas around campus but since
there are miles of woods it is impossible to
have an officer present in the area at all times.
Greeley encourages all students to lock their
doors and windows if they are on the first floor
to prevent theft.
Chief Greeley said that years ago they
arrested a “peeping Tom” for looking into the
windows in the gymnasium pool; he says they
plan to be on a look out for people who seem
out of context at the event. “Drinking and
illegal drugs puts students in a bad situation,
one that can be regrettable,” said Greeley
about the CraigsList post. “Last year at Culture
Shock 8 or 9 people went to the hospital for
alcohol or drug related problems, and I know
that’s just the tip of the iceberg.” Greeley
emphasized that by consuming alcohol or
illegal drugs students put themselves at risk
for sexual predators. “You guys need to let
How is this Culture Shock different from all
other Culture Shocks? Is it the heated debate
over the venue? The discontent with the play
list? The drama that made itself known all
over facebook and livejournal? No, it’s none
of those things. This year’s Culture Shock is
scheduled for Passover weekend—you know,
that Jewish holiday that usually coincides with
Easter, when Jews across the world sit down to
celebrate their escape from Egypt? Yeah. That
Passover.
Several members of the campus Jewish
community are angry about this scheduling
decision.
“I think it is really unfair that they’re
holding it on Passover; on one of the major
Jewish holidays. I’m a freshman and I don’t
get to see my family very often and for me the
holidays are about being with my family. And
you know that they would never schedule this
on Easter. God forbid,” said Alexandra Balisky,
freshman, journalism. “It’s bullshit.”
It also must be noted that classes were held
on Rosh Hashanah (which was not the case at
if that sweaty, creepy old dude weren’t scary us know things, if you see something, say all the SUNYs) one of the most important
enough, they are now advertizing how to take something,” he said. I
“Passover” Page 14...
tic; a good medium of expression. I*
I don’t know anything about the PSGA Elections but I think the Naked Issue will be cool. CAMPUS3

PSGA executive elections will be held online on April 21st & 22nd. These elections are not to be
taken lightly, and we urge you to review the following candidates’ qualifications and intentions to
best describe who is the most effective person for the job. Check your e-mail for more details.
Caitlin Christian-Lamb
History, Junior
Qualifications and Experience:
PSGA Coordinator of Finance ‘07-‘08, Chair of
Finance Committee ‘07-‘08, PSGA Commuter Senator
‘07, voting member College Budget and Community
Standards Hearing Board Committees ‘07-‘08, voting
member of PSGA Finance, Steering and Civic Actions
Committees ‘07.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I’ve drunk the PSGA Kool-aid, and it’s delicious,
delicious Kool-aid.
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
Firstly, to keep more accurate attendance records
of senators, and to hold a retreat in the Fall semester,
as well as the Spring. I’d like to help senators with
their initiatives to a greater degree, as they are some
of the most powerful students on campus.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I’d like to see greater outreach to sectors of
campus not involved in the PSGA, to help those not
already in the know understand what we do.
Interesting Fact:
I don’t know how to hide a bike. My
favorite World War I battle is the Second
Ypres.
Kevin Vincent “Ceasor” Collymore
Poli Sci, Visual Arts & Economics Minors, Sophomore
Qualifications and Experience:
I have served as a PSGA senator for two
consecutive years. I have also been President of
SOCA. I serve as a paraprofessional in the Office of
Student Life where I help assist with campus wide
programs.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I feel with the experience that I have with the
PSGA over the years including being a senator and
club president, I can bring a bright new beginning to
the position of CoCOaS Coordinator.
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
If elected, plans and goals I have are to update
each club and organization’s charter to mention the
possibility of what action happens if any executive
leaves office. Also have more collaboration with
services and the campus.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I would like to see the PSGA improve upon its
diversity and relationship with the students. Examples
of doing so is to let the student body know truly how
many things the PSGA involves itself in.
Interesting Fact:
I have citizenship in the U.S. and
Barbados.
Max Isaacs
Studio Composition, Sophomore
Qualifications and Experience:
I served as Treasurer of my high school class,
President of the Goshen High School Student Senate
(which gave me hands on experience in budgeting).
I am currently a member of the Senate and serve on
the Finance and Steering Committees.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I’m committed to accurate and transparent
accounting practices and feel I’m qualified for this
position. I think students should have an e-board
committed to improving campus life and services,
and that’s what I intend to do.
What are your plans and goals for the position
if elected?
I will strive for an accurate and responsible
Finance Committee and will work to increase the
dialogue between students and the finance branch.
As an executive board member, my top priorities are
increasing student connectivity and tech services,
drafting a leadership initiative, relocating media
services and advocating for student rights.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I want to see more accountability and increased
access to PSGA officials in 2009. The Student
Government works for you!
Favorite Quote:
“Where there is chaos
there is opportunity.”
4PSGA
I I I
* I don’t know much about the elections, but I signed some guy’s petition. * The Naked Issue represents Purchase well. * I always

Sam Schacter
Media, Society, and the Arts, Sophomore
Qualifications and Experience:
Previous to running for office I have had experience
with booking bands and acts at different venues. In New
York City, New Jersey, and at Purchase, I enjoy dealing
with artists, showcasing them, and handling associated
affairs.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I believe I have a passion for booking events
and interacting with artists that perform. I have been
involved with music and performances for 6-7 years and
the experiences I’ve gained have motivated me to run
for this position.
Becky Sellinger
Visual Arts, Freshman
Qualifications and Experience:
In high school I got a bill passed by the town board
that allowed me to book free events for the youth in our
community center. I booked all of the bands that played
at these events. I have also participated in organizing art
openings. I have connections to the Wham City Kids and
was the person who got them to perform Jurassic Park
this past semester.
Why do you want to run for this position?
Being an active member of our student body is
very important to me. Campus life is a very crucial
aspect of our unique college experience. I would find it
empowering to work with and for my peers to perpetuate
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
I would like to bring some more diversity into the
Student Center. This year, acts who performed were good
but usually only fit one specific category. Purchase has a
diverse student body and I believe that should reflect in
the performers to come to play here. Goals include: more
students at concerts, more students involved, and more
students taking part in events at The Student Center.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over the
coming year?
MORE STUDENT INVOLVEMENT! I was a transfer
student this year and had little to no idea how much of
an impact the PSGA has had on the College and on our
student body. The interest is there but involvement is not
and that should be changed.
the vibrancy and charisma our school possesses.
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
I would like to see doors open for people who feel
they aren’t accurately represented. I would like to get
to know my school better via the individuals so I can
determine what is needed. I would like to advocate
for our own artists and would like to extend “event”
opportunities to artists of every medium.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over the
coming year?
I would like to see more voting on decision making.
I would like to work toward a more cohesive PSGA and
student body. It is very important to me to encourage
involvement.
Favorite Quote: “I don’t know the
key to success but the key to failure
is to try and please everybody.”
– Bill Cosby
Interesting Fact:
I play musical saw.
Jeff Levin
Arts Management, Freshman
Qualifications and Experience:
I currently work for Capitol Records as an A&R rep,
along with being the A&R Manager for Pure Tone Music
(SONY). I am the founder of the school’s first student fun
record label, Framework Records. For four years now,
I have been booking major bands to several college/
universities.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I feel there is certain atmosphere this school
possesses that you can not find anywhere else, and my
passion/experience for the duties the MEC is responsible
Spencer Murphy
Jazz Studies, Sophomore
for will mesh well within the Purchase Community.
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
I have many ideas for the major events here on
campus. First and foremost, I believe the students here
have a rightful vote as to who the performers here are on
campus, and to where these events will take place.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over the
coming year?
I would like to see the PSGA involved in a lot of
the social scenes on campus. This is why a strong
representative for the PSGA is needed in order to voice
the opinion for people who normally wouldn’t.
binder full of possible alternate event names that rhyme
with Vulture Cock.
Favorite Quote:
As MEC, “Your voice will be heard,
even if it isn’t.”
Qualifications and Experience:
Extensive experience as an independent promoter/
talent buyer, approximately 2 year internship with
Syracuseshows.com helping promote, organize, and
oversee performance by everyone from Converge,
Every Time I Die, Isis, and Gorilla Biscuits, to Make/
Believe, Gym Class Heroes, and Fall Out Boy (who, don’t
worry, I won’t book).
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
I plan to spend the entire MEC budget on booking
Prince. (If there’s any cash left over, I’d focus on booking
more hip-hop, reggae, reggaeton, soul, and R&B groups
for Fall Fest and Culture Shock.)
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over the
coming year?
I’d like to see an increase in communication between
officers and the student body which they serve.
Favorite Quote:
“Vote early, Vote often.”
Why do you want to run for this position?
I have both the motivation and the experience
necessary to effectively book an ill festival. Plus, I have a
feel I know nothing about the candidates, other than they think they are awesome. I* I wanna read the Naked Issue. I’m excited.
PSGA 5

Andrew Kuhl
Music/Studio Comp, Junior
Qualifications and Experience:
I’m a musician and in a couple of bands who
book our own shows. I have worked with a couple of
groups including the Long Island Alternative Music
Association to book bands in various locations.
I spend this year as a senator to understand the
workings of the PSGA.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I want to strive to bring Purchase College an
exciting Fall Festival and Culture Shock. I want to
challenge myself with this responsibility and try to
achieve the best.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I would like to see more cohesion in the Senate
with less bickering and bureaucracy.
Interesting Fact:
I am obsessed with chocolate egg creams.
Joshua Khan
Journalism, Sophomore
Qualifications andExperience:
Active member of Latinos Unidos, OAPIA, SOCA,
Treaurer of CANDIES Organization, Covered PSGA
stories and events as a journalism major
Why do you want to run for this position?
To improve student life on campus in every aspect
(clubs, policies, living situations, etc. Listening to the
needs of students).
What are your plans and goals for the position if
elected?
Stipends for senators. I want to encourage
more students to become involved with the student
government, implement policies to encourage
Purchase going green, and promote diversity within
the PSGA.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I would like to see the PSGA more publicized so
that students know there is a group on campus trying
to protect the interests of the students.
Favorite Quote: “A dog is not
considered a good dog because he is a
good barker. A man is not considered a
good man because he is a good talker.”
-Buddha
Steven Neamonitakis
Graphic Design, Sophomore
Qualification and Experience:
Since the age of fourteen I have held many
different leadership positions in numerous
companies and corporations, including the PSGA
and the Pepsi Bottling Group. I understand the
problems and complexities of a Purchase student.
I am currently the Webmaster for the PSGA and
The Submission as well as a Web Design Intern
for the Pepsi Bottling Group. I enjoy working hard
and I would love to represent the student body at
Purchase College.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I started my involvement in the PSGA when I
became Webmaster in the Fall of 2007. My interest
in the PSGA grew quite rapidly. Constantly being
around students who are proud of their school
and who want to make it as great as possible has
inspired me to take part in the PSGA myself and
represent the campus as I think they would want
to be represented. Purchase College is a very
diverse community and I think my open mind can
help represent the student body accurately.
What are your plans and goals for this position
if elected?
If elected, my main priority would be to
work with the administration to ensure that the
students’ voices were heard prior to any decision
that directly affects them. The PSGA is in charge
or representing the student body and what
better way to ensure this than letting the students
decide. These decisions affect the student body
first and foremost and they should always be
aware that their voices do mean something. I also
plan to bring many new faces into the PSGA so
that all thoughts are heard. I feel there needs to
be a diverse group of students taking part in the
Student Government in order for decisions to be
fair.
How would you like to see the PSGA improve
over the coming year?
I would love to see student involvement
within the PSGA grow. The PSGA is built
Interesting Fact:
I’m a colorblind graphic designer.
Go figure.
around the idea that our opinion matters. This
association is in charge of our representation
and really controls the sort of life the students
will have at Purchase. If we don’t get involved
and voice our opinion, the PSGA’s goals cannot
be completed. I would also like to improve the
PSGA’s relationships with Res Life, Student Life
and the academic community.
Steven Sabel
Political Science, Sophomore
Qualifications and Experience:
Senator of Outback, Purchase College Association
Board Member, Civic Actions Committee Board
Member, Chair of Probation Resolution Committee.
elected?
If elected President, some of the issues I plan
on tackling are making the PSGA more open
and transparent to all students, maintaining and
strengthening ties between the PSGA and the
administration, working with the students and the
administration on a Students’ Bill of Rights.
Why do you want to run for this position?
I feel that with the experience I have, the work I
have accomplished this past year, and my visions for
next year, this position is most appealing to me.
What are your plans and goals for the position if
6 PSGA
How would you like to see the PSGA improve over
the coming year?
I would like to see the PSGA become more open
and transparent to all students. I would also like to see
the PSGA maintain and even strengthen its ties with
the administration and its place at this school.
I I I
Favorite Quote: “A pessimist sees
the difficulty in every opportunity; an
optimist sees the opportunity in every
difficulty.” –Winston Churchill
* I don’t think milkshakes & potato chips would get me in the Naked Issue. * I know who I’m voting for! * I love the Naked Issue. I

Pu r c h a s e Al u m Ma k e s It, Jo i n s Bl u e Oy s t e r Cu l t,
By Tony Cella
Staff Writer
Co m e s Ba c k t o Pl a y a t Co-Op
The lecture hall in the Humanities building
was packed as I walked past a concession
table looking for a quiet spot to sit. Ritchie
Castellano, a Purchase Alumni and current
bassist for Blue Oyster Cult (BOC), is playing
a concert next Tuesday in the Co-Op from
8pm to 10pm, following WPSR’s Coffeehouse.
He joined BOC in 2004.
According to Professor Joe Ferry and
Stefan Fink, who booked the show, Castellano
will play guitar for two hours accompanied by
Ferry on bass and a small horn section. “The
set that we play is some unplugged Blue Oyster
Cult and some unplugged blues songs,” Ferry
said. “Freddy King, [a Texas blues musician]
and stuff like that.” The show will be streamed
live over WPSR’s website.
Sliding into a stray desk in a corner
by a stairwell, I put my phone on the desk
and called up Castellano. Aside from the
occasional passerby, the only noise was his
voice crackling over speaker phone.
Castellano said his work with the band
started when he was 20. He said he was sitting
in his dorm room and his friend, BOC’s sound
engineer, called him up and asked him what
he was doing that weekend. Castellano said
he had some homework to do and might have
a gig. His friend, Castellano said, told him that
he was busy and couldn’t do the mixing for a
BOC gig and asked Castellano if he wanted it.
“Fuck yeah, I want it!” Castellano said.
“I was 20 so I couldn’t rent a car yet,” he
said. “I remember taking these guys from the
hotel to the show in my beat up car...I had
a poster of one of those guys on my wall,”
Castellano said. He had to ask him to squeeze
into the back seat.
“One year they were going to Germany
and my friend couldn’t make the whole thing,”
he said. “I really got in tight with the lead
singer [Eric Bloom]. We had a lot of common
interests: video games, sci-fi.” Castellano said
he talked to Bloom about his own band back
home. He said that Bloom was nice and said
he’d check it out. Castellano said he wasn’t
sure if Bloom was really interested.
After they got back from Germany, he
said, Bloom came down to see him play a gig.
Castellano said his band was covering the
Beatle’s album Rubber Soul. Because some of
the songs had double tracked bass, Castellano
said he put down his guitar and played the
four string for a couple tracks.
“A few weeks after that, Blue Oyster Cult’s
bassist left to join Queen,” he said. “Eric had
remembered I played bass.” He said Bloom
called him, waking Castellano up, and yelled
over the phone asking if he wanted to join
BOC. He said yes then rolled over and went
back to sleep.
“I woke up a few hours later,” Castellano
said. “I thought I had hallucinated.” He said he
called Bloom back and asked him about what
happened. He said Bloom said, “’Yeah you
have your first gig in four days,’ I said, ‘What
do I have to do?’ ‘You have to learn 20 songs in
four days’...I started practicing my ass off,” he
said. “I became a song learning machine.”
Castellano said that he showed up at the
hotel to practice with the band before the gig.
There were no amps and he plugged his bass
into the TV. “Only me and the guitar player
had instruments,” he said, “so everyone else
was air drumming and singing.”
Castellano said he was at Purchase from
Fall ‘98 to December ‘02: three years getting
his bachelors in Studio Production and one
and a half getting his masters. During his time
at Purchase, he worked closely with Professor
Joe Ferry. “Joe is one of my favorite teachers,
but he definitely grew on me,” he said. “I
originally went to Purchase to learn technical
stuff...When I first came to Purchase I only
wanted to learn rock and pop.” He said that
Ferry introduced him to the blues and other
ethnic music.
At one point he played in a blues group
with Ferry and Sue Foley. “When we started
playing blues, it got serious for a while. We
had this one booking agent. He was good, but
he booked us in some weird places,” he said.
“The one place we played a lot was called the
Calacoon Saloon. I think its upstate in New
York. One of those turn right at the middle of
nowhere kind of places.” Castellano said they
were playing their blues set, but he could tell
the crowd wasn’t into it. “I said to Joe, ‘Hey let’s
do some southern rock. We did a 20 minute
version of Sweet Home Alabama.
“Blue Oyster Cult” Page 19...
Se l f De s t r u c t i o n Op e r a
By Elizabeth R. Hyman
Staff Writer
Ex p l o d e s
I expected there to be singing. Nothing
crazy, but a few snippets here and there.
After all, it does have the word “Opera” in its
name. While it was obviously supposed to be
a commentary on the plot and events of the
play, a small, unsubtle part of me lamented the
lack of songs.
However, that little issue aside, I
absolutely adored “Self Destruction Opera,”
by David Jacobi and starring Brandon Beck,
Michell Opedissano, Steve Kraatz, and Kelly
Hawkins—it was by far the most interesting,
clever, original play I’ve seen all year. From its
fabulous cast, to the thought provoking plot, to
the clever writing, to the use of lighting and
projection, this play was awesome on multiple
levels.
I was hooked right at the opening scene—
which involved the operator of a suicide
hotline informing the main character, Bobby,
that he was way too pathetic to go through with
killing himself. He argued with her, saying
that of course he would go through with it. He
didn’t.
The supporting characters—Bobby’s
thoughtless asshole-with-a-heart of a
housemate and his pregnant girlfriend—were
briefly introduced, and then the love interest,
Allison, was introduced. She was ballsy,
outspoken, and taken, of course.
It was upon her arrival that the intricate
plot began to unfold. Bobby had lost his
brother to Russia, the house felt bigger than it
looked, and the house also had a tendency to
create sound effects at suitable moments.
As the plot continued to unravel—Allison’s
boyfriend was a jerk, Bobby’s lost brother
never really went to Russia, and the house
had a tendency to eat things—the message,
or theme of the entire play, “What hides inside
your mind” was projected onto the back of the
stage at pertinent moments.
“I kind of got the impression that it was
inspired by the book House of Leaves, the
whole thing with the house that had bigger
dimension on the inside than it did on the
outside, it ate people and things, and it made
sounds. And if it wasn’t somewhat inspired
by that book, then it was a pretty eerie
coincidence,” said Brittany Shutts, freshman,
Creative Writing.
The play concluded with Bobby breaking
free of his self-destructive tendencies and
escaping from the house with Allison at his
side—she didn’t love him back, but was
working on it. Perhaps in his escape from the
house Bobby had discovered and escaped
from what resided inside his mind—the loss of
his brother and his insecurity. This ending was
ambiguous, but unlike other plays I saw this
year, the ambiguity worked in its favor.
I
wanted to pose, but I got lazy. I’m glad we have it. It makes me happy. I* People in the Naked Issue are crazy, but in a good way.
ARTS7

The Naked Issue
Nu d e in t h e
Ne u b e r g e r Mu s e u m o f Ar t
It’s tempting to introduce this year’s Naked Issue by
speaking of Purchase College’s enduring liberalism, its
repudiation of cultural taboos, even its intellectual, if not
enlightened, view of nudity as art. When the first Naked
Issue was announced two years ago, this was certainly
one of its core motivations. It was an attempt to return
to the spirit of Purchase in the 70s. To the staff of The
Independent, that sprit was best symbolized in an old
photograph of two nude students.
For the first year, people came from all over campus and posed;
staff writers and contributors wrote articles speaking of the joys of
nudity and their own experiences in the shoot; and everyone bragged
or smiled to themselves, this is Purchase. Even if the photos didn’t
match the initial purpose, it was fun and the excitement of seeing
people-you-might-know naked made the concept a tradition. This
edition is my attempt to return the magazine to it’s initial aesthetic
intent.
I’m not going to pretend that those of you who’re reading this
now are interested in our aesthetic aim, or by my attempt to take
some of the sexual coyness that’s plagued the other two editions out
of this one. For many of you (not including freshmen), the Naked
Issue is a spectacle to be awaited and you are equally detached from
it as you are the creation of Culture Shock. And even factoring out
the old “Purchase is Apathetic” line, having more than a few people
poke their heads into our door and ask dumbly, “yo, where the naked
people at?” makes me believe some of you just aren’t mature enough
for such a project. Still, I hope you enjoy the issue and can respect our
models’ bravery and honest approach to this endeavor.
Finally, I’d like to thank Thom Collins for allowing us to pose
amongst the artwork and being an accommodating host
during our shoot at the Neuberger Museum of Art. I’d
also like to deeply thank our models, our photographer,
Matt Epstein, and our Layout Editor, Sabrina Miller, for
all of their hard work. ~ Adam Tyrrell
MODELS: Vincent Genna, Rachel Howson, Erin Pellnat, Michael
Hughes, Tania Berks, TJ Crawford, Kristen Woods, James Dier, Dana Ellis,
Sabina Ksiezopolska, John Andrews, Alison Parker, Jessica Leta Gray,
Dylan O’Brien, Robert Stewart-Rogers, Christina Picciano, Catherine
Agonis, Betsy Aloi, Eleanora Berezovskaya, Kristen Benedict, Peter Foy,
Margo VanHoy, Jennie Fiddler, Katelyn Lowery, Erica Evans, Elizabeth
Connors, Paulina Bracone, Karla Mera, Keila Mera, Joseph Sabia,
Amanda Tramontano, Emily Farrell, Natalie Eilbert, Sam Branman,
Jeremy Gravlin, Emily Berthold, Elizabeth Hixenbaugh, James Blinstrub,
Ben Bookbinder, Eboni McGriff, Mike Bastianelli, Kara Redding, Cheryl
Yakacki, Megan McGlinchey, Rebecca Stubbs, Norelle Nicol, Jessica
Cardenas, Amanda Magurne, Eric Stewart, Sinead Kravetz, Sabrina
Miller, Jessie VanBenschoten,
Cory Lonas, Karina Moscoso.
I
8 NAKED Too many people wind up voting against the person they don’t want to win instead of the person they do want to win. I * If people

By Dana Ellis
Staff Writer
By the time you read this, it’s over. I’m exposed and my pasty ass will be among the
other pasty (and not so pasty) asses of the past lucky enough to grace these pages of The
Independent. I’ll admit going into this, it was awesome, liberating, and freeing all at the
same time. I was uninhibited. I didn’t care. I am a woman who likes her body and has
nothing to hide--or so I thought.
As the print date edges closer and my naked image starts to appear on more and more
pages, a small butterfly makes its way down to the far reaches of my stomach, making me
nervous realize after viewing myself over and over again that I ain’t no Venus of Urbino.
Shit, I ain’t even one of Modigliani’s women, and if we want to view it in more contempory
terms, I ain’t no Jessica Alba and I ain’t no other young shaw-ty to be all over Hollywood
these days.
Upon facing this realization, a feeling that what was completely devoid before
finally punches me right in my self-declared fat gut--restraint.
“No, wait,” I tell Sabrina our layout editor. “Don’t put that one of me in there. I hate
it. I look so ugly.”
“Say Jon, do I look fat?” is a question I’ll start asking my boyfriend in an increasing
regularity, something I’ve never done much before, but now having my proverbial ass
being handed over to the greater Purchase campus on a carving board it becomes all
I can think about.
I know I’m not the only one. We live in a culture of deplorable sameness. Similarity
as a mass-spread horribly infectious disease, I am merely one of the contaminated,
tainted by a society which forces women (and men to an arguably lesser degree) to
look a certain way, act a certain way, and be a certain way. Sure, feminism helped,
right? We’re free now, right? What about Purchase College? Are we safe here, do those
expectations follow us wherever we go? These rhetorical questions are not simply
mine to answer; in fact, everyone being the subject of there own individual experience
should eventually be able to somehow answer that one for themselves. Nothing I write
here can reiterate much more than the surface of someone’s own personal beliefs, or
in some cases, lack there of.
But if I have these restraints, these butterflies, what is the Naked Issue all about then?
Is it indicative of that liberal mindset that is Purchase College? Is it indicative of my liberal
mindset? How can I declare myself a liberal woman who likes her body and has nothing
“Dana” Page 19...
really care about Purchase they should get involved rather than bitch about it. Grow a pair of balls and stop being so petty. I NAKED9

By Loren Jakobov
Staff Writer
St a r t a Na k e d Re vo l u t i o n
When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror without clothes on, do you
see a sexual-being staring back at you, or just yourself, a little bit more honest and
revealed?
The images that typically come to mind when one thinks of nudity in our current
day and age is the oversexed, glamorous image we have collectively brought
upon it as a society. The market of porn videos, Playboy magazines, sex stores, and
underdressed young teenage icons has introduced a certain glamour to accompany
the taboo that nudity has long walked with hand-in-hand. Yet, we look at ourselves
naked in the mirror and the view, let’s be honest, isn’t always that great. We often
tend to see the little imperfections that we shamefully hide from others. Regardless of
whether what we see is real or merely imagined, many perceive it as a constant reality.
The shame of being seen naked is something that has been learned throughout time,
and through its conception has brought about the all-consuming mystification of sex,
the act, and most of all, the human body.
The story of the alleged first human beings, Adam and Eve, offers an example of
that shame. After their transgression against God, they gained knowledge of sin, and
with it they began to feel shame. Being ashamed of their nakedness, they covered it
with fig leaves. Since Adam and Eve had no concept of what nudity was before hand,
how did they suddenly become so aware of their physical selves as being publicly
nude? What did they suddenly see in themselves that had not been there before?
Although nudity was not the original sin, some interpret it as being so, maybe offering
an explanation as to why it has become a taboo.
Clothes have come to represent much more than merely covering up of our
nakedness. We wear clothes to express an extension of our personalities, to represent
a sense of belonging within society. In a sense, why do we really feel the inhibiting
need to cover up? What would nudity come to mean if we chose to walk the streets in
our birthday suits? Would we still be staring up at billboards that dictate what beauty
should look like, or would we just accept it for what it is?
This type of demystification of the body is something many have struggled to
understand, including myself. The first time I picked up the Naked Issue, I was really
unsure about what I was about to find hiding in the depths of the recycled brown paper
bag. The bag itself that did not reveal much information, suggested I had a reason to
suspect something. I slipped my hand in and struggled for quite some time to let out
the shocking truth, ‘The Naked Issue.” I was really quite confused. At first glance the
issue seemed to suggest to me that Purchase was filled with immature, irresponsible
children who couldn’t keep their clothes on. Uncomfortable by this prospect, I looked
away. Several pages into the paper, I realized I began to recognize some faces. I
thought that I would never want to see some of these people naked. But then I realized
what I was missing. To some, posing naked is really just about the pose, while others
may be trying to send a message. One might wonder, if you’re not showing off your
beautiful bod,’ then what are you doing posing naked? It’s pretty open minded to be
able to understand that nudity isn’t a sexual state, rather it’s merely who we are as
physical beings, and that all the fears that we attach to nudity reveal our true fears
as a society, of ourselves, and the issues surrounding sex that we confront on a daily
basis. Allowing yourself to set aside those fears--the same ones you harbor every
time you see your naked reflection in the mirror--takes a lot of courage and depth.
Let’s face it, we all sometimes feel insecure about the way we look underneath all
those layers, but maybe it’s time we let it go.
I
12 NAKED
“You’re a bit short for a storm trooper” Princess Leah That’s What She Said * “Point that thing someplace else” Han Solo That’s
I

By Tony Cella
Staff Newsboy
Pi t c h Nu d e: Th e Ch r o n i c l e o f Ja m e s
The Hub was sparse last Saturday as I munched on some chips waiting for James
Dier, junior journalism and drama studies. For the past three years Dier has posed
for the Naked Issue, losing a considerable
amount of weight between each shoot. When
he first posed, Dier said he was somewhere
between 220 and 260 lbs.
“Hey Tony,” he said, walking up to me. Dier
was wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a black
t-shirt with a neon green cow pulling a same
colored wagon. Underneath it said, “You Have
Died of Dysentary,” a reference to the computer
game Oregon Trail. Dier sat down across from
me. I asked him if he’d like to get something to
eat but he declined, saying he’d eat later.
While Dier said he couldn’t remember the
exact reason he first posed for the Naked Issue,
he said, “I went up to one of my friends online
and asked him if I should pose naked for the
school paper and he said yeah.” “It’s become
more of an experience than exhibitionism,”
Dier said. “It’s not about sex to an extent. It is
because people are naked, but it’s about art
and seeing how far you can go. You’re being
able to show people a side of you they’ve never
seen,” he said. “It makes you feel a real pride in
your body.”
“Another reason I did it was I was overweight,” he said. “I was really into fat
pride. I bet there will be 3 overweight people who will do this and why not be one
of them,” said Dier. “I think my favorite moment was streaking down the Humanities
hallway.”
“A couple of my friends were like, ‘Uh I don’t want to see you naked.’ Well
tough,” he said. “They asked if I could black out my picture for them.”
Another thing that surprised the Purchase campus, Dier said, was his Prince
Albert piercing. “A Prince Albert is a piercing that goes through the head of the
cock and comes out the urethra,” he said. “A lot of people weren’t expecting it.
They were like ‘Woah why did you get that done?’” The piercing, he said, increases
sensitivity. Dier has since had it removed. “It [kept] my foreskin retracted.” Dier
said. “The Prince Albert is nice and all, but after two years I was done with it.”
After his photo first appeared in the Naked Issue, he said, people came up to
him and said he looked good. Dier said that and his narcissism motivated him to
lose weight and continue appearing in the Naked Issue. “I like people’s comments
in general. It’s nice to hear criticism,” Dier said.
By the time the next issue Dier said he’d lost about 40 lbs. “I know at that point
I went down 2 shirt sizes [an XXL to an L] and two pants sizes [44 to a 42],” he said.
After Dier’s second Naked issue he had taken another 4 inches off his waist, he said.
Now, Dier said, he wears medium shirts and went down another three pant sizes. “I
could fit into a 30 but I wear a 32 because I haven’t gone shopping.”
Dier is also a member of the Bear community, a group of gay men who accept
hairy, burly men instead of just the stereotypical effeminate gay man. “Having lost
a lot of weight, it has changed my identity,” Dier said, but “no one carries a card.”
Dier said there are men in the Bear community who aren’t attracted to men who look
like them.
“It’s made me focus less on
labels and how I look physically,”
he said, “I do stand by the original
intent of the Bear community that
isn’t smooth, boyish, and thin.”
However, he hasn’t changed
stores since he lost weight.
“I still shop at Kohl’s,” Dier
said with a laugh. “As long as it’s
Nintendo I’ll buy it.”
I
What She Said “With that speed do you think we’ll be able to pull out in time?” Rebel Starfighter That’s What She Said NAKED13
I

He r b a n d Fl o w T-s h i r t s t o De b u t a t Pr e-Sh o c k
By J.W. Townsend-Pitt
Staff Writer
A brand new business is starting up at Purchase. Herb and Flow is the result of
the partnership between Katherine Lo and Ruben Murrero, who decided to put
their graphic design skills to use in a way that might earn them some profit. The
merchandise is t-shirts designed by Lo and Murrero focused on things that will appeal
to Purchase students with the hope of branching out to non-Purchase related designs
if the shirts become popular.
The merchandise is set to debut at Pre-shock. When Lo and Murrero approached
WPSR, the Purchase radio station and host of the Pre-shock event, WPSR asked them
to design a t-shirt to fit in with the Preshock
campaign, which is “Pre-pear for
Pre-shock.” As they are debuting their
t-shirts at this event, they have plans for
other Culture Shock related shirts to
produce, such as one that says “Toxic Shock
Syndrome,” and another that says, “Culture
Shock Treatment.” In addition to their event
-specific t-shirts, they also are going to be
selling Purchase t-shirts with things like
“Where the Olde Parties At,” and, “No I
don’t have an extra cig.”
Lo is more focused on the typographic
aspect of the design. She focuses on which
fonts are used and how they are laid out.
It is with her silkscreen that they intend
to manufacture the first run of shirts. Lo
currently owns black white and red fabric
inks. Their initial designs will be limited to those colors, but as with other aspects of
the venture, if successful there will be expansion into other colors. Murrero is more
focused on the embellishments and final designs of the t-shirt. He is providing the funds
for the purchase of the blank t-shirts to be silk-screened. They work collaboratively on
the final stencil, but Murrero likes to design by hand so he is doing some of the new
designs by hand and then scanning them into a computer before the final stencil is
printed. He also designs the website and is in the process of designing the final logo
for the company.
So far there are no product images up on the Herb and Flow website,
but that is expected to change very soon. After the debut at Pre-shock, the
main method of sale will be the website. Herb and Flow also intends to make
appearances at Purchase flea markets. After the initial debut, they intend to
distribute business cards.
The shirts will be selling for $8 and, for an additional fee, Herb and Flow
will make a custom design.
I
Not all the Greek runners in the original IOlympics were totally naked. Some wore shoes. - Mark Twain * A Nudist is simply Ia hu- NAKED15

“Just Wondering What It Would Look Like”
By Jesse McLaren
By Caitlin Strachan
A Smile and A Kind Word
By Jackson S Wingate
Life According to Melissa
By Paige Broudy
By G.I.Dave
16 COMICS NAKED PEOPLE ROCK! NUDITY IS AWESOME. I* I like the Naked Issue & I wanted to do it, but my boyfriend wouldn’t let me. I* I

This is not a naked picture of someone. This
is an article.
So there’s this like lame ass space camp or
some shit this weekend? I don’t know,I guess like
there are a bunch of Fountains of Wayne tribute
bands playing and Bono’s speaking about babies
with holes in their faces? James Blinstrub said he
and Dana Caputo are going to reunite for the first
Moldy Peaches show in like eight years which I
guess I’d be amped about, but ever since James
got married and settled down and had kids he
totally lost his edge you know? But yeah,that’s
happening. Brooklyn Vegan says Nelly’s playing
too. Then a group suicide.
No!! It’s Cultural Shock!
Preshock’s tonight! Every Purchase band ever
is playing (seriouslycheck cute girls database:
it’s out of control. I’d put in all the bands playing
but then we wouldn’t have enough ink to print
some guys scrotal piercing.) plus a ton of off
campus rockers and a flea market and a slip and
slide! Go to it!
Then that thing with the stuff.
Sunday, Adam Smith’s senior recital at
the stood. Maybe you don’t know him so you
probably won’t go... but what if everything else
is fire?
Monday, we’re resurrecting William Howard
Taft from the dead.
Actually there’s a show but the guy running it
doesn’t have a final line up just yet.
Tuesday, more bands! Burnout, Rio Bravo,
Brick Physics, The Thief, Father Son all help you
cry your cares away/rock out.
Wednesday. Open mic and the following
event which has a lengthy intro.
Intro commence: Officer Lou (The one who
never yelled at you just for walking down G-street
on a Friday night) is leaving. He’s awesome. He’s
made my past two years (I don’t remember
seeing him freshman year) at Purchase epically
more ruling and since none of us in the PSGA
have ever met a man who hadn’t been taught to
fish (think highly?) by (of) him we’ve decided
to throw a stupendous Goodbye We Love You
Forever Officer Lou cake party.
This will occur sometime next Wednesday,
his last day. If you’ve ever been done a right by
Officer Lou, or can appreciate a man with good
taste, or really love cops, do come! Time and
place forthcoming!
Look to the sky dear readers!!!!!!!! Look to the
sky!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pre-Shock 2008 Performance Schedule
Pre-Shock, 5pm-12am, The STOOD
5:00PM- Fl e a m a r k e t/
Pr e-s h o c k St a r t s
5:40-6:00- Wi t h a St e a d y
Ha n d
6:00-6:20- An El e p h a n t
Ch a r g e
6:20-6:40- Ma j o r
Po t e n t i a l
6:40-7:10- Ha l o Fa u n a
7:50-8:10- Old Ja l o p y
8:10-8:40- Th e We n d e l s
8:40-9:00- Ur b a n Fe t c h
9:00-9:20- Em i l y Pr i c e
9:20-9:50- Gr e g o r y & t h e
Ha w k
9:50-10:20- Gr e g Ba l d w i n &
t h e a e s t h e t i c s
UPCOMING EVENTS
THURSDAY 17
WPSR Presents Pre-Shock 2008,
hosted by the Purchase Improv Troupe
The Stood, 5pm-12am
Senior Photo Show Reception
Basement of the Visual Arts Building, 6-8pm
United Students Against Sweatshops presents
Maquilapolois [city of factories]
Nat Sci, rm1059, 7pm
Purchase Opera presents
Lee Hoiby’s The Tempest
PAC 8pm
FRIDAY 18
Culture Shock!
See The Independent’s Culture Shock insert
for more info!
Purchase Opera presents
Lee Hoiby’s The Tempest
PAC 8pm
SATURDAY 19
Culture Shock!
See The Independent’s Culture Shock insert
for more info!
SUNDAY 20
Make it Play
An evening of new writing for the stage
by the senior Dramatic Writers
Dance Theatre Lab, 2pm
MONDAY 21
PSGA elections
Vote online, look for instructions in your e-mail
Gender Fucked Film Festival
Showings of: Juggling Gender and Boy I am
Red Room, 6-9pm
Free showing of The Wizard of Oz
The Olde Community Lounge, 7pm
Free refreshments will be served
TUESDAY 22
PSGA elections
Vote online, look for instructions in your e-mail
It’s All Greek to Me
New Works by the Junior Dramatic Writers
Humanities Theatre, 8pm
WEDNESDAY 23
Wellness Center’s Rejuvenation Station
Lobby of CCS, 12-2pm
So you want to go to Grad School?
Career Development Workshop
Career Development Center, 4-5pm
7:10-7:30- Sa i n t Be r n a d e t t e
10:20-10:50- Be s s Ro g e r s
7:30-7:50- Ge n u i n e
10:50-11:20- Big Sk a
Im i t a t i o n s
11:20-12:00- Pa p e r & Sa n d
think the candidates should be naked next to their info, show us what we’re really voting for (their junk). I* It’s nice that this SEXY17

When Adam told me I had to write a cooking
column for the naked issue, I was unsure
what to do. I mean, wasn’t my naked body
enough of a vegan column this week? But I
can’t let down my adoring fans. I thought for
only a few minutes before it came to me: raw.
ODB liked it raw. Everyone likes raw cookie
dough; everyone loves to eat raw. No sexual
act isn’t raw, unless you’re into the whole
cooked appendage thing (I don’t know who
could possibly be into that.). We like eating
raw over cooked because, let’s face it, cooking
in the summer time is too hot; eating raw
provides extra nutrients, extra love, and extra
health benefits. I’ll probably spend a whole
summer raw.
Two weeks ago, I made a delicious tomato
sauce. Well, this week I’m making a delicious
marinara sauce with zucchini spaghetti. You
do not need to cook any part of this meal. Wahwaah?
Yes, you’ll see. This is spectacular and
you won’t even know it’s raw!
Equipment:
Food Processor
Ingredients:
5 portabella mushroom
2 T. water
1 T. lemon juice
½ onion, sliced
¼ cup tamari
¼ cup olive oil
½ avocado, sliced
1 large tomato, cut in wedges
1 red bell pepper, cut up
1 celery stick, chopped
5 leaves of fresh basil, chopped (you
could use 2 T. of seasoning.)
3-5 garlic cloves, chopped
¼ jalapeno
10 jarred sun dried tomatoes
2 T. olive oil from sun dried tomatoes jar
pinch of cayenne
pinch of ground pepper
1-2 T. fried Italian herbs (oregano, basil,
parsley, etc)
1 T. agave nectar or maple syrup
½ tsp. salt
2 zucchinis
Preparation:
Lots of ingredients, but it doesn’t take too
long! Combine the olive oil, tamari, lemon
juice, and water in a jar and soak the onions
and mushrooms. Slice the avocado and set
aside. Put the rest of the ingredients, except
the zucchini, in a blender and blend until
smooth. Peel the zucchini with noodle integrity!
You want the zucchinis to have a similar
shape of noodles. Run the blender until the
sauce is slightly warm. Pour the sauce over
the noodles and top with the mushrooms, onions,
and avocadoes. Do not pour the entire
mushroom marinade into the pasta, but a few
splashes adds a nice touch. I’m going to make
this right now. Enjoy my naked body and enjoy
this naked lunch (Sorry Burroughs…couldn’t
help myself). I
Pu r c h a s e Ta e Kw o n Do Co m e s Ou t Ki c k i n’
By David Settanni
Contributor
Night is fell on Purchase at 5:30 PM on
March 3, 2008. As the school day ended for
most students, testing began for a select few.
The SUNY Purchase Chung Do Kwan Taekwondo
Club was testing for belt rank for the first
time this year. The Club (#5635) is registered
with the USA Taekwondo National Governing
Body which is an affiliate of the United States
Olympic Committee (USOC). The students
are required to keep a log of training hours
and at the beginning of the test these logs are
handed in and the students line up in order of
belt rank; the highest ranking belt to the right,
the lowest ranking belt to the left. The group
consists of five participants; Monica Dubitsky
(the only black belt in the club), Jay Estiva,
Johnny Anderson, John Sicate, Samantha Sanchez,
and Matthew Hecht.
The testing begins with warm up exercises,
blocks, and kicks. Two of the members
are asked to back out as the remaining four
practice more advanced, more difficult kicks
such as the jump spin back kick. After the
participants complete the form, Kyosinium
(the instructor, John Burt) asks the students a
serious of questions to test their knowledge of
the history and meaning of Chung Do Kwan
Taekwondo.
Q: What does Taekwondo mean?
A: Foot – Hand – Line
Q: When was it created?
A: 1955
Q: What is Taekwondo spirit?
A: Spirit is how you think and how you act.
After the Q and A session the students
are asked to perform a series of orchestrated
blocks and kicks, such as Kee Cho Il Bu, the
first basic form, is just one example. Names
of the forms have meanings in Korean such as
Tuegeuk Yuk Jang (ancient philosophy of water)
and Taegeuk Chil Jang (Ancient Philosophy
of Mountain).
As the testing continues, students are
backing out due to inexperience or lack of
training. Next comes a series of one-steps
(pre-arranged sparring). After the one steps
is board breaking. The white belt breaks one
board with a chop, the yellow belt breaks one
board with a palm heel, the green belt breaks
two boards with a strike and a kick, the blue
belt breaks two boards with two kicks, and the
Bo Dan breaks two boards with one strike.
All the students passed their tests; the
white belts advanced to yellow, the yellow
to orange, the green to blue, and the blue to
brown. Following the board breaking is an
intense sparring match between the black
belt and the Bo Dan. The sparring consists of
a series of kicks and blocks that is non stop.
The two students, Jay and Monica, are complimented
on their good footwork, advanced
technique, and effective counters. The sparring
session is a taste of what is in store for a
new chapter in the Taekwondo Club.
In the fall of 2008, participants of the club
and students from Purchase College will be
selected to train and compete in Taekwondo
tournaments. Good performance in the tournaments
can lead to national rankings and
even a spot for Purchase College students in
the Olympics.
New members are always welcome
aboard; take advantage of free Taekwondo
training from an experienced professional
right here in your community at Purchase.
The club meets in the gym at the
Aerobics Room and the Racquet Ball
Court on Monday and Thursday from
5:30 – 6:30. For more information, go to
www.PurchaseTKD.com.
18 INTEREST community is so accepting of what other schools think is controversial. The opportunity to pose is cool. I* I don’t
I

...“Blue Oyster Cult” From Page 7
People started jumping on tables,” he said.
“One guy jumped up and kicked the mic stand
into my head...the whole place just went crazy
for this one song...We kept finding ways to
extend the song: guitar solo, bass solo, drum
solo. Everyone sing, ok now no one sing...
every possible way you can imagine.”
For a CD project, they created a mock
lounge band with Bumblefoot, the guitarist
who replaced Buckethead in Guns N’ Roses.
“Joe said just be as silly as possible,”
Castellano said. “We wore costumes and went
really over the top with it.”
He said Bumblefoot played different
characters, one being Checkers Goldstein
a Frank Sinatra type. “I played the part of a
mushed up lounge musician.”
***
Earlier that day, Professor Ferry sorted
sheet music on a table at the far side of the
orchestral practice room. Stefan Fink and I sat
across from him in the corner of the spacious
room.
“I’m playing bass. We have a horn section,”
Ferry said. “Ritchie’s going to play guitar and
sing and we might have a drummer. Not a full
set, just a snare drum.”
Ferry showed Fink a few sheets of music.
Ferry’s band, Big Ska, were going to practice
“Higher Ground” by Stevie Wonder, “Sway”
by Dean Martin and “Get This Party Started”
by Pink.
“Ritchie and I toured together with Sue
Foley,” Ferry said. “We produced a lot of
records together. We’ve known each other
for a good ten years...My friend Dr. Adam
Messenger; he’s one of the doctors who saved
my wife’s life last year; he has a great rock
voice,” Ferry said. “He’s going to be singing
Blue Oyster Cult songs with Ritchie.”
“He produced Regina Spector’s first
album, 11-11,” Ferry said of Castellano. “They
recorded it on the third floor of this building...
He’s a great improviser, a great singer...he’s
tremendously versatile. He’s a very strong
player. He has a great command of the
instrument.”
Ferry said Castellano has matured
musically since he first met him. “His solos
build now much more dynamic,” he said. “His
rthymn is very sharp his choice of notes is
better. Much more deep...Everybody come
out and check it out. Yes the most important
part. Everyone please show up.”
***
Stefan Fink, freshman Arts Management,
is the one booking the show. Fink tipped me
off on the Castellano show and set up the
interviews for me. We had just gotten coffee
and tea for Big Ska. Fink told me how he got
involved in the Ritchie show. “He [Ferry]
was interested in bringing Ritchie here and
he knew I was the go to guy,” he said. “Over
spring break he sent me a text asking if I was
still up for it I texted back, ‘Hell yeah!’” Fink
said he was the intermediary between Ferry
and WPSR, who are streaming Castellano’s
show on their website.
Fink also said that he was unhappy with
the lack of musical diversity at Purchase
college, saying that the Stood and Co-Op
predominantly played indie music. He also
said that at the PCA, “you get mostly classical
music. It’s not arranged for the students. It’s
for the rich Westchester-ites...It’s [this show]
a breath of fresh air,” he said. “I think people
will actually enjoy this and appreciate the
difference.”
Fink said that his job was to, “promote,
promote, promote, promote, and convince
WPSR we can actually do the show...I more
or less took full responsibility for the station’s
side of it,” he said. Fink said that he booked the
Co-Op on Tuesday because he runs the WPSR
Coffeehouse which happens just previously.
“I made a Facebook group and I’ll have flyers
out by Tuesday,” said Fink.
As Big Ska started playing Sway by Dean
Martin, he spoke very highly about Ferry.
“He’s one of the best people I’ve had a chance
to work with,” Fink said. “He asks what I want
to see in it. It’s really a collaboration.”
“The bottom line is just filling the place,”
Fink said. “He’s a great guy but he needs
people to see him otherwise this concert is
for naught. It’d just be a practice...I want the
Co-Op to be standing room only...I think that
they’ve got that sound you don’t hear anymore.
That 70’s classic rock crunch,” he said. “There’s
an event floating around on Facebook.”
I
...“Dana” Page 9
to hide, if I do in fact want to scurry to a dark
corner somewhere and hide come the day of
publication?
The only answer I can possibly have for
myself is that the Naked Issue is an embrace of
the fact that, in a culture where being naked is
seen as such an extraordinarily risqué thing, it
can also be so extraordinarily unextraordinary
at the same time. I first thought this over a
year ago in a community college life drawing
class, where everyday I came in and drew
naked people, naked people, and more naked
people. And eventually it hit me, it’s just a
naked person. It’s no big deal. It is just a
person not wearing clothes.
With that, over brimming with my own
self-confidence and new found sense of
enlightenment, I decided to do the Naked
Issue this year. And doing so made me feel
a certain amount of empowerment. It hit me.
This culture of sameness I mentioned earlier
has it all wrong, and what a beautiful thing this
mainstream culture of same is missing out on
at that.
We are different and that’s okay. We are
given an unreachable standard of beauty by
this mainstream culture and the media which
empowers it and even that’s okay because we
have the power to repel it. We as individuals
can disregard it, mock it, and take light in the
fact that our bodies are beautiful all the same.
So this is the part, as Linus in Charlie
Brown’s Christmas, where I walk off the stage,
blanket in tow, and say, “That’s what being
naked for the Naked Issue is all about Charlie
Brown.”
...“MSAF” From Page 3 ed on every two years at every SUNY school, it
opportunities here as possible, and for that we hasn’t been voted on at Purchase for about six.
need a mandatory student activities fee.” This is because either previous PSGA’s did not
Besides being harmful to the school’s extracurricular
realize this was mandated, or because they
activities, a voluntary student ac-
realized what a drawback it would be to the
tivities fee is impractical.
college if the student activities fee were voluntary,
“First of all, you’d have the issue of collecting
said Stromberg.
the fee from everyone who chose to pay it,” “I think this would really hurt Purchase,”
said PSGA President Jon Stromberg. “Clubs, said Ana Orellana, a member of Latinos Unidos.
organizations and services would not be able
“If we didn’t have the fee, this school
to plan for a budget because they wouldn’t would basically be strictly academic. The way
know how much they would be getting until people get to know each other on this campus
around October of that year. The PSGA budget is through clubs, not classes. I can’t imagine
we’re working on now would be pointless.” Purchase without everything the student activities
There would also be no way of making
fee pays for.”
sure that only students who paid the voluntary “Everything is funded by this fee,” said
fee would benefit from its uses.
Ritchie. “Culture Shock, pre-shock, the GLBTU
and their faith.
I
Though the SUNY Board of Trustees mandates
that the student activity fee status be vot-
see all of that disappear.” I
Striptease, Fall Fest…it would be a shame to
know about the election but I look forward to Culture Shock. I* I wish Neil Fridd were running again. CONTINUATIONS19
I
... “Passover” From Page 3
holidays in the Jewish year. The Culture
Shock scheduling is yet another indicator of
the administration’s and the campus’ lack of
respect for its Jewish population.
“Purchase College would never have
considered hosting Culture Shock during
Easter weekend, which sometimes occurs
in April, just like Passover. There is a large
Jewish community on campus who now have
to make a decision as to how they celebrate
Passover and possibly put their traditional
customs aside in order to participate in a
campus-wide celebration, or attend Passover
Seder meals and miss out on one of the most
looked forward to events on campus,” said
Ruth Kleinman, Hillel Program Director.
In a campus-wide email sent out this
morning, the PSGA did issue an apology: “On
behalf of the PSGA, I would like to apologize
for the conflict of Culture Shock with the
Passover holiday weekend.”
However, this brief apology was buried
in a very long email pertaining to the Culture
Shock itinerary, and is hardly consolation
for the many Jewish students who must now
choose between their campus, their families,

It may look classy on the front, but what about the Indy
I was going to go to the interest meetings,
but then I got high.
Must the models show their genitals? I mean I
would do it but having everyone see the works
might scare some people.
I got fucked by the
devil last night, he
sure fucked the hell
outta me!
Can my friend and I do a
picture together?
Can I wear boots?
Is there any way we can
prevent faculty from
seeing the issue? haha.
Can we do a “Barely Legal” Naked Issue?
C: condoms are cute
K: yeah, they’re like
socks for your penis!
Will there for sure be a naked
issue again next year?
To the girl in the hub
with the wooden leg and
the mug of Black Strap:
you shiver me timbers.
Hey “So Silly” -
You’ve got a beautiful smile.
“I Don’t Have AIDS” is
not smart enough to be
controversial and it’s not
even worth my time.
If for these peoples
the Sahara was an
ocean, then, indeed,
the camel was the
ship of the desert.
K: I think I hear someone crying
in the common room...
C: Aw, shit! My noodles!
Z: Do you think I should drop out
of summer school?
J: Well, do you wanna throw 5 on 2
L or not?
Office of Res Life= ORL [ORAL?]
girl 1: I don’t wear underwear
underneath my skirts
boy 1: same here
I have a fever,
and the only
prescription is more
cowbell.
To the person wanting Girl
Scout Cookies: Ihave them.
call me @ x 3103
I put my pants on just like you guys:
one leg at a time. The only difference
is once I have my pants on I make
gold records.
To the person who paints the
bricks: you’re awesome. Don’t stop
what you’re doing.
To the person who embroiders bricks: I’m making
a movie about your work; we need to talk.
P.O. Box #1508
I have the biggest ego
but really low selfesteem.
Does that make
sense to you?
Where is the Starbucks?
What the Dog Bus?
Swing Dance Club
Wednesdays @9pm
in studio 'C'
Okay, if we smoke today then we really
need to be serious about not smoking
A: How will we get people
hooked on our new sort of
music?
B: By lacing it with cocaine!
-What is 'kim-chee'?
-Cabbled Piggage
I’m torn into pieces. And threw
every piece into a fire. As they
burned it hurt because I was so
happy for you.
The KKK should have been accused of
witchcraft and heracy along with racism.
I’ve got a screw loose
and no washers for my
nuts.
-the janitor
If only Helen Keller
could see you now.
What the FUCK do I do with
a receipt from the hub?!
I lose nouns in tall grass.
Rusty-Mack is the
sexiest drummer Alive!!!
p.s. Happy birthday! I
love you