CHANGES SMALL FROM WINTER'S HALL By Dr Justin ... - RCPI

CHANGES SMALL FROM WINTER’S HALL
By Dr Justin Brophy
Weary and wounded, harassed near deranged
To add to our woes we’ve a Diploma arranged
Two days from your schedule, you must be insane
But with WebEx and book club there’s even more pain
So switch off your I-phone and your sceptical brain
In ten months or less you’ll not be the same.
Thrown in with all sorts of hopefuls and lost
Each table assembles a toy head of sorts
High chiefs and knife men, a shrink and gas passers
All huddle thorough muddles, think this should be a Masters
No time to think, fall asleep or complain
With HSE paying it’s no gain without pain.
First comes Blue Peter all knowing and bringing
Who needles and nudges all doubts and misgivings
To hope, faith and action with post it’s and pencils
Come flow charts and drawings, change making utensils
He’s never defeated by negative talk
Peter you’ll notice has walked the long walk.
Next up is Uma, safety Goddess protectress
that’s Kotagal not Thurman, you medical lechers
For Cleveland and Ireland from all her good letters
Our safety stuff just gets better and better
Now coffee with Uma should always be missed but to sup at her table is safety bliss
Steely resolve with data and graphs, you know she means business but still has some
laughs.
Next we have Pat, Dame Shirley Bassey of safety
Sings change test so small just do them right hasty
From Scotland’s true grit come practical tools
To fix up our system and make better rules
Her PDSA cycles just never go down hill
But round and around ‘til the missions a done deal
Now Paul is quiet, but oh so persuasive
With six sigma, pareto, we defeat the evasive
While the run rates and data may give cause for alarm
His control charts will say if its positive harm
He’ll coach you and coax you through swampland so boggy
You’ll come out with a spreadsheet, your brain much less foggy
Now what does one say about Prof. Martin Fellenz
Like it or not you’ll like when he ends
No questions to answer your stage fright suspends

But leading the change the message he sends
Now one thing is most clear, despite all our amends
We can all kiss goodbye to that Mercedes Benz
David keeps wise words, always at ready
Vicky’s arrangement keeps the whole ship so steady
Visiting bigwigs and dial in occasions
Make up the programme and seal our vocations
We’ll be glad to be finished but sad when it’s over
And bid fond farewell to comrades all over.
Now characters many exist in the room
Too many to mention, new friends we assume
But how can we leave out Professor James Bond
Who’s hand washed his colleagues with car parking wand
His analytical mind just hates the absurd
But even he would agree he’s been shaken and stirred.
More than we’ve signed for and plenty demanded
We fortunate ones on two feet had landed
With patients in front and standardisation
We’ve have no excuse but make safer the nation.
Soon back to the day job, the treadmill, the grind
Better equipped to mend problems we find
Pleased and fatigued, but no longer exhausted
We commit to sustain don’t ask what it costed
A big word of thanks to all present here
And while knowing it’s unsafe, it’s time for a beer.