fun stuff - SFUbiz

Columns
Club Articles
Table of Contents
Alumni Advice: Misadventures in Online Dating ....... pg. 5
Mr. Dateless
Gripes About the Summer Semester ......................... pg. 7
Amin Ladha
Networking Your Way to Deloitte .......................... pg. 7 & 12
Queenie Chou
Four Stereotypes You’ll Encounter in Every Nightclub .. pg. 8
Alan Margovskiy
Random Reviews on Random Things .............................. pg. 11
Nick So
Alumni Advice: Burning Bridges is for the Near-Sighted pg. 15
Muhammad Amir
Summer Randomness ....................................................... pg. 16
Christine Chow
The Mind of Momma Pham .............................................. pg. 18
Ian Pham
SMA: Some Adventurous SMAers ................................. pg. 4
Loveleen Sull
Fun Stuff
MISA: Battle of the Clubs ...................................................... pg. 13
Shyla Chandra
Sudoku ............................................................................... pg. 19
Comic by SteamedCarrot.com ....................................... pg. 19

3
editor’s note
Last issue of the semester! Whoooooooo! As all of you prepare for the ugly Finals Dragon about
to rear its head, just remember that it’s almost over. The month of August will then be at your
disposal to party, BBQ, drink, club, sleep in, stay up late, and do whatever else your deserving
hearts desire. And for those that are doing that anyway…well…CAN’T STOP WON’T STOP!
One thing I must mention: We need writers! If you’re thinking about how to get involved
and beef up that fantastic resume, look no further! With The Buzz, you’ll really be able to flex
your creativity muscles and hone your writing skill. We encourage you to use The Buzz as
your voice. Don’t like the title of “writer?” We’ll change it! How does “Commander of Word
Manipulation” or “Sentence Maker Supreme” sound? Pretty damn good if you ask me.
We’ve got a great issue this month – it’s all about experiences. Burning bridges, the summer semester, and
clubbing are all things we’ve had the pleasure (or displeasure) to experience. Mr. Dateless slaps us with some
online dating adventures, and Nick So and Christine Chow give us a dose of that good ol’ randomness that we
love so dearly at The Buzz. In addition, I give a personal reflection on one of the most influential women in my
life: Momma Pham.
Take a break from your studying schedule and read the last issue of the semester! It can’t make you any
stupider…that would be unpossible.
- Ian P.
buzz-editor@sfu.ca
http://www.sfubiz.ca/buzz
THE BUZZ staff
question of the month:
What is Your Favourite Reality TV Show??
Alan Margovskiy -- chair / columnist
Big Brother!
Amin Ladha -- columnist
24... its not really a reality TV show but its damn good!
Christine Chow -- columnist
Little People Big World on TLC
Eunice Koh -- promotional coordinator / editor
So You Think You Can Dance! If only I could shake it like Benji...
Ian Pham -- editor in chief
Hells Kitchen - Chef Ramses is one bad mofo
Jenny Bloch -- editor
I don’t watch TV (reality or otherwise). My life has enough drama as is. =P
Kevin Patel -- columnist
The Simple Life
Muhammad Amir -- alumni columnist
Mr. Dateless -- alumni columnist
Nadia Kasenda -- columnist
Nick So --
”Chief Executive Head Coordinator of Graphic Layout Design”
The Office... Doesn’t that Micheal Scott guy look a lot like that
documentary about a 40 year old virgin?
Rodney Noriega -- financial coordinator / editor
Fear Factor
Shashi Selvaraj -- editor
Sibil Chan -- columnist
Steven Chia -- webmaster
William Leung -- columnist
Saved by the Bell: The College Years
July 2007

4
Some Adventuresome SMAers
by: Loveleen Sull
PR Director, SMA
For this issue of the Buzz, SMA
wanted to shake things up! The
boardies decided to share some
stories about their past experiences
at SFU. Whether they were magical,
painful or humorous they were all
definitely eventful. Now go grab
yourself some munchies because
here they come: SMA’s adventures at
SFU:
“It was a smolderingly hot and humid
day. Or at least it seemed that way for
the project manager of Brand Wars.
He and his partner had endured a
long day of no sleep and lots and
lots of running around. Now that the
day was winding now, the only thing
left to do was a final closing speech
to the contestants. Simple enough?
Think again. In this weariness, a
gremlin came to him and said, “If you
don’t manage to insult everyone in
the audience twice, then I will kill 20
bunnies and then give candy to all
the children in the world, only to take
it away from them at the very last
second!” Knowing what’s at stake,
the project manager (now acting
president of SMA) selflessly sacrificed
his pride (and eventual sanity) to the
gremlin, ensuring that no bunnies get
injured, and no babies go candyless.
To this day, the myth of the
courageous sacrifice of our president
still goes on. We can only hope to be
as self righteous as him one day.”
July 2007
- Ken Ha
President
“Once upon a time, there was a guy
named Ken Ha, who was the Social/
Fundraising Co-Director of SMA in
2006. He was a great co-director, but
Got Something to say?
his one unfortunate flaw was that he
would always lose or forget precious
items, such as cell phones and
wallets. One time, he left his laptop
power cord in the SFU Business
lounge still plugged in, so we decided
to teach him a lesson. Calling him
on his cell phone, we told him that
his power cord had actually tripped
Bill Holmes, the Business undergrad
director, and that he had to go to
the hospital because of his power
cord. Needless to say, Ken was not
pleased when he ran all the way to
MBC in a panic to come find us, only
to discover a large GM room filled
with laughing (and some pointing)
people. That’s one of the funniest
memories I have of SMA, and I’m
proud to say that Ken’s now pretty
good at not leaving things behind. Lo
and behold, he became an awesome
SMA President!”
-Jeanne Kong
Vice President
“It was my first semester as part of
SMA and I took the leap to head
school promotions for the charity
rock concert, Rock the House. To
help out some more I decided I would
assist Loren and Ken in putting up
posters in the downtown Granville
area. As Loren and I waited at the
Granville sky train station for Ken,
we chatted and talked about clothing
and music as always. I then decided
to show Loren my fabulous stapler,
which I clearly had very little skill with
because next thing you know as I was
putting it away and closing the latch
I stapled my finger. This was not any
regular stapler it was a staple gun
with a 1/3 inch staple pierced into
my finger. To make things worse my
finger would not stop bleeding, luckily
I bought some band-aids. However,
that staple gun sure did come in
handy in our postering adventure!”
- Loveleen Sull
Public Relations Director
“There once was a person in charge
of money for a club in SFU. This
person was extremely handsome,
but unfortunately his committee
consisting of three people had been
reduced to himself. He was not
sad, however, because he knew the
previous members had both gone on
to a better place. After two minutes of
grievances, he became determined
to fill the two empty spots using his
uncanny ability to persuade people
with his dashing looks at the new
member meet & greet. During the
session, he invited anyone interested
in spending quality time together
while counting inventory to apply.
The response was overwhelming and
he was faced with the challenge of
picking two candidates. After much
thought and consideration, two
new members were chosen for the
committee once again balancing the
committee as one master and two
apprentices.”
- William Kim
Finance Director
Well SMA hopes you have enjoyed
our stories. And next time you see
us be sure to enlighten us with any
of your tragic, mysterious, or even
inspirational endeavors at SFU!
Let the BUZZ be your voice.
Send us your comments on this or any other article to
buzz-editor@sfu.ca

5
Alumnus Advice: Misadventures in
Online Dating
by: Mr. Dateless
Alumnus
When I, Mr.
Dateless, ended
my first and
only long-term
relationship
because it just
wasn’t working
out, I tried
to figure out
whether there was a better way to meet
people. I met that girl at dancing lessons,
but even though there were so many great
girls that I could have dated through that
venue, I wasn’t ready to go back there for
fear of seeing my “ex”. Eventually I decided
to try my luck with … *gasp* … online
dating!!
A buddy of mine had signed up for Lavalife.
ca and ended up dating this really cool
chick who I absolutely wish I could have
dated instead, but of course I was totally
glad for the guy. Besides, it meant I’d at
least get to hang out with her when I hung
out with my buddy. So I signed up to the
site … and got zero responses. Absolutely
nothing! Not a single smile, or question or
anything whatsoever! Of course at this time
Lavalife was free to sign up and search
through, but cost money to make any sort
of contact beyond a smile or predetermined
flirt option. And I didn’t even get any of
those! So I decided to go out there and
really go full throttle when it comes to dating.
I started signing up for dating sites all over
the net, but most sucked big time and
created a lot of bot generated emails that
made you think these people were actually
interested when in fact they weren’t. While
I got some decent pre-scripted responses,
nothing was worthy of actually paying
for the site (which my buddy did to get in
contact with his now girlfriend). Then one
day hotornot.com (a photo rating site that
moonlights as a dating site) implemented
free chats for people who were interested
in each other. That’s when my dating life
really started to get interesting.
There was this cute girl on the site who
happened to live in my area so we
started chatting online. Now I knew she
was religious, but to me that is totally
unimportant as long as it doesn’t start
severely interfering with day to day
activities. I, being non-religious, had started
writing a small book about my religious
thoughts and trying to outline my beliefs.
It was more for my own benefit than for
anyone else to read. But this religious girl
wanted to read it, and so I sent what I had
done up to that point (about 5 chapters or
so). To make a long story short we ended
up meeting for coffee to go over my “book”.
Let’s just say that my views on religion are
probably equally as controversial as the
ideas in my columns. And then I found
out that … get this … she didn’t believe in
dinosaurs!!! Yes, you read that right, she
didn’t believe that dinosaurs ever existed
because of her religious views on the
age of the planet. She thought the bones
were … I still can’t believe this one …
from giraffes and hippos and alligators! Of
course I knew this girl had to be pulling my
leg … didn’t she? I mean, people like this
are from folklore and legends and movies,
but surely there aren’t any still left in this age
of science. I mean, she’s got access to the
internet for goodness sake! … Figuring this
had to be some weird way religious people
flirt, I played along and made sure not to
laugh and pretended like not believing in
dinosaurs was the most normal thing in the
world. But as the conversation went on it
was clear she was downright convinced
of her beliefs. She really did not believe in
dinosaurs! And even though she admitted
she thought I was hot and found it hard
to concentrate around me because of my
looks, I didn’t believe that anyone, even
supermodels, would be worth a second
date with that kind of sheltered life and
screwed up values. Besides, her photo
was old and it happened that in person she
wasn’t so cute.
So I joined a free online dating site called
plentyoffish.com (in my opinion it is the best
online dating site for getting dates. Period.).
POF allows for way more information,
better searches, free messaging and email,
and other features. The first message I got
was from this girl who flat out asks to be my
friend (felt like grade 2 sandbox kind of talk).
In the end we find out we have some major
things in common and we are now good
friends for life. So internet dating sites aren’t
just for making dates, but are also good to
find friends.
A different girl, this time from SFU,
messages me and soon after we meet up
on campus. So I’m in line at Renaissance
Coffee with this girl who I’ve now just met,
and this really pretty girl in front of me turns
around saying hi and even knows my
name, but I have no clue who she is. Talk
about screwing up a first date! I’d never in
my life been approached by anyone like
this, and I had no clue how this person
knew my name. How come this didn’t
happen when I wasn’t on a date??! Luckily
it was my buddy’s girlfriend I mentioned
earlier. It didn’t really matter anyway
because it turns out that the girl I was with
(a) doesn’t look like her picture, (b) has a
totally different personality than expected,
(c) has been through major psychological
and physical trauma that has screwed her
up for life… Guys, if you want to make it
super easy to get to first base (or any base)
with a girl, find one that is going through
major problems and go the extra mile for
her. It’s like they are in a super receptive
stage towards guys who put in the extra
effort when they are under such stress.
This is the closest thing one can get to
become a girl’s knight in shining armour.
In my case I wasn’t interested in any base
with this girl, and by simply helping out with
essay proofreading during her crisis, she
thinks I’m “the greatest guy in the whole
world,” or at least wrote me that in an email
and told me similar things many times.
Being there for someone when they are in
need makes you feel like a superhero.
For more misadventures in online dating,
and some successful adventures too,
check out my column in the next edition of
the Buzz!
Mr. Dateless encourages you to provide
feedback, column ideas, comments,
and/or questions by contacting him at
mrdateless@gmail.com
July 2007

Learn more:
www.becomea.ca
www.casb.com
CHARTERED ACCOUNTANTS OF BRITISH COLUMBIA

Gripes About the Summer Semester
by: Amin Ladha
Columnist
As most people
start to plan out
their fall semesters
and to register in
classes, I look at my
registration date and
wonder why the hell
it’s so late?! July
18th is a nice date
for a second year student, but im going
into my fourth year and this is how I get
treated?? Almost all of the 400 level
accounting classes are full and the good
tutorials, you know the ones right after
lecture or right before it, are starting to
fill up as well. Good thing for me is that
I still have some 300 level classes left to
complete because of co-op.
While I’m on the subject, one thing I will
never understand is why there are about
150 spaces every semester in non-core
300 level classes but only about 30 in
400 level classes. Does administration
think that 120 people will mysteriously
SFU students, get ready to network!
The summer is upon us and summer
information sessions are coming.
As coop students at Deloitte, we have all
had success by networking our way into
Canada’s leading professional services
firm. Recently, we had the opportunity
to further develop our networking skills
at the Deloitte summer student training
conference in Toronto. We would like
to share a few helpful networking tips
that might help you make the right
impression.
Before the Event
Preparation is key before each
networking event. One of the most useful
things to do is to determine your goal
before each session, whether it is to
learn more about the firm or to establish
disappear or drop out? Let’s think for a
minute…. If you are smart enough to
make it to third year, doesn’t it stand to
reason that you will also take 400 level
classes? Or are we just supposed to go
to university till third year and once we
are so close to completing our degree,
we suddenly decide, “meh, I’ve dropped
about twenty grand in tuition and other
fees but I don’t think I will finish my
degree now.” Let’s end this stupidity and
create more spaces in 400 level classes!
All this complaining has made me feel
better so I think I will complain about
a few more things. Recently, campus
security decided to block off part of the
B-lot parking area to accommodate
space for people who hold ride share
permits. Apparently, the space where
rideshare permit holders park is blocked
because of construction. Now I’m not
really sure what a rideshare permit is but
if it has anything to do with carpooling,
I have no problem with blocking off a
section of the parking lot closer to the
school for people who are trying to
a relationship with a firm representative.
Do you get sweaty hands when you
are nervous? Just remember to place
a handkerchief in your pocket before
the networking event. Eliminate sweat
discreetly by putting your hand in your
pocket during the event, and you are
ready to network away!
Dress Code
You’ve heard it before, but it’s true: First
impressions count. The following are
some tips on how to dress at that next
event:
• Jewelry, makeup, and hair should
be kept simple and clean. Wearing
a watch or necklace can make
you look polished, but wearing a
necklace, a bracelet, a few rings and
a nose stud… well you get the idea.
• Comfortable shoes are your friend.
Ladies, we know that all heels are
not made equally. Make sure to
wear a comfortable pair with either
7
preserve the environment. However,
every time I park at the end of B-lot,
since half of it is blocked off, I notice that
no one is parking in spaces allocated
for rideshare. Maybe this is because
it’s summer and no one carpools in the
summer or something, but why would
you block off space if no one is going to
use it!? It is simply ludicrous! If someone
is going to use that space in fall, then
block off the space after the summer
semester and let the paying customers
use the space. Don’t make us suffer
by forcing us to park at the end of the
lot and walking ridiculous distances in
extreme heat.
I think that is enough complaining for
this article. Although there are problems
with certain things at SFU, it’s still a great
place to get an education.
If you have a problem with the above
complaints, or would like to explain some
of them, feel free to email me at aminl@
sfu.ca
Networking Your Way to Deloitte
by: Queenie Chou
Student
low heels or cushioned insoles.
Gentlemen, you probably don’t have
the same problem but remember to
keep your shoes shiny and clean!
• Nametags help! Keep your old
nametags from previous events
and bring them to the next event
just in case. Recruiters can meet
hundreds of students during these
events, and any help to remember
your name is appreciated.
• Business Formal means suit (and
tie for the gentlemen), but what is
Business Casual? Business Casual
basically consists of dress pants/
skirts with a clean shirt or sweater.
No logos, holes, or flashy designs
either.
Topics
Think of some conversation topics
before the event, so you don’t get stuck
in silence. Some good topics include
Continued on page 12
July 2007

8
Four Stereotypes You’ll Encounter in
Every Nightclub
by: Alan Margovskiy
Chair / Columnist
Ahh, clubbing. As
young adults age 19
or older, we’ve all
either been clubbing
or know someone
who has. Why do we
do it? The answer
is simple—we like
to drink, socialize,
and ultimately have a good time. While
clubbing is fine and dandy in my eyes,
there are always stereotypes and
patterns you will observe in any and
every Vancouver nightclub. As a Buzz
columnist who writes pointless articles
about meaningless issues, I feel that
it is my job to bring enlightenment to
these different stereotypes. Read on,
and the next time you’re in a club, I
guarantee that you will encounter at
least one of these stereotypes right
before your eyes.
The Vagina Cop
As hilarious as this term is, I have to
give credit to some random comedian
who first uttered it at Yuk Yuk’s. What
is a Vagina Cop? It is essentially the
female equivalent of a “cock block”. It
is the Vagina Cop’s job to accompany
her girlfriends out on the town and
prevent them from dancing with,
looking at, or breathing the same
air as the opposite sex. The Vagina
Cop is assigned the task of keeping
her group safe, and preventing them
from socializing with anyone outside
the pack. What is the motivation for
her behaviour? Perhaps she is the
designated driver, or perhaps she is
overprotective. She could simply be
jealous and bitter. In any case, Vagina
Cops very much exist in nightclubs
and are present in almost every group
of 4+ girls. I remember one occasion
in a crowded club, when I was trying
to walk by a group of girls to get to
my friends. Of course, a girl was
blocking my path, and I asked her to
move several times, but she couldn’t
hear me due to the loud music. The
July 2007
Vagina Cop assigned to this particular
female immediately noted my contact
with her group member, and came
up to me and yelled “NO” several
times. Confused, scared and drunk, I
soon realized that she thought I was
hitting on the girl, and she was merely
performing her Vagina Cop duties. I
laughed hysterically at the situation
and moved on to my friends.
“By the way, half of us
aren’t staring at you
because you’re hot—
we’re staring because
we’re in complete awe
at how little you are
wearing”
Noise Distribution Engineer
The Noise Distribution Engineer
(NDE) is another stereotype present
in every club. The NDE is that one
guy (or sometimes, girl) who has had
wayyyyyyy too much fun with alcohol
for the night. There’s usually one
solid NDE who you will keep running
into throughout the night. Although
you have no idea who this person is,
you seem to hear the NDE so much,
and bump into them so often, that
by the end of the night you two are
practically BFFs. One time when I
was dancing with a girl, this guy came
out of nowhere with a “WOOOOOO!”
for no reason. Being the idiot I am, I
encouraged him with a high-five, and
responded to his outrageousness
with a fellow “WOOOOOO!” This
situation perfectly exemplifies the job
of the Noise Distribution Engineer:
to facilitate noise, and make you feel
relatively sober. You think to yourself,
“wow, at least I’m not like that guy”, or
even “wow, I want whatever that guy
had”.
The Girl Who Thinks Every Guy Wants Her
Similar to the Vagina Cop, this girl
needs to get a grip. She dances with
her friends, and thinks that every guy
in the room is hunting for her. True,
the girl may be decent looking, and
there’s never a shortage of horny men
in the club, but reality check: you’re
NOT Jessica Alba. This girl is what
some guys call “snobby”. She comes
in dressed like she’s ready to star in
the next 50 Cent video, shaking her
everything everywhere, and then
wonders why the guys immediately
beside her stare with jaws dropped.
Don’t get me wrong, women should
be able to wear whatever the hell
they want. But like Dave Chappelle
said, if you come wearing a whore’s
uniform, guys are going to treat you
like a whore. If you’re going to wear
little clothing, and are decent looking,
expect to be stared at. By the way, half
of us aren’t staring at you because
you’re hot—we’re staring because
we’re in complete awe at how little you
are wearing.
The “Club Whore”
I’m going to make this one brief, as we
all know what I’m talking about. We all
have friends who hit the clubs several
times a week. Their facebook albums
are flooded with photos of them drunk
out of their minds and being a little
too touchy-feely with their friends.
These people are discriminated
against as “club whores”, and are
teased for being brainless fools with
no hobbies other than clubbing. They
know people inside the club, and have
all the connections when it comes to
getting in right away, enjoying free
booze or simply knowing where to go
on which day. While people our age
hold grudges against “club whores”, I
feel that they deserve a break. I used
to make fun of some of my friends
who fit under this category . However,
I now realize that they are just having
fun, and for them, clubbing is a social
means of meeting different people,
getting in touch with friends and
having a good time. As young adults,
we are told to enjoy life while we are
still relatively free of responsibility;
therefore, I think it’s only natural for
“club whores” to exist.
Don’t like me? amargovs@sfu.ca

That’s why I became a CMA. They’re not just
accountants. They don’t just focus on numbers and
what’s happened in the past. They translate that
information to find the potential for what can happen.
Everyday Nintendo challenges me to be more than
an accountant. Without the breadth of skills the CMA
program gave me I don’t think I would have been
qualified for this job. See firsthand what the CMA
designation can do for you.
Contact Shannon@cmabc.com or visit cmabc.com

Random Reviews on Random Things
by: Nick So
“Chief Executive Head Coordinator of Graphic Layout Design” / Columnist
Transformers yet is still able to attract listeners who are
As a kid, I never used to the cookie-cutter alt-rock sounds
really followed of “Theory of a Nicklefault.” If you really
the Transformers want to blow your brains out with LOUD
cartoon franchise. HEAVY bass, buy the vinyl version of the
So when news album (or download a vinyl rip of it).
came out about
Grade: A+
a Transformers
live-action movie
being made, my first thoughts were
“that’s kinda cool… I guess.” At 50-
something percent on RottenTomatoes,
Transformers was a movie I would not
have planned to see. However, once
1.
I started hearing the buzz from friends
(plus the fact my girlfriend is a big nerd
and wanted to see it), it sounded like a
2.
pretty cool movie. I had tried to watch it
the first weekend, but both the Oakridge
3.
and Downtown theaters I went to were
already sold out. I finally saw it on
4.
the second weekend…and IT WAS
AWESOME! Well it didn’t blow my mind,
but for a mindless, turn-off-your-brain
5.
action flick, it was pretty sweet. Plus,
it was worth it just to see my girlfriend
6.
bouncing up and down in her seat like
a giddy 12 year old boy when they
finally started Transforming. Oh yeah,
Bumblebee kicks ASS.
Grade: B+
The White Stripes – Icky Thump
2001 was not the year of A Space
Odyssey, but rather a Rock Odyssey.
The ‘official millennium’ brought the
revival of raw, rock and roll that hadn’t
been seen in mainstream music
since the days of Nirvana. In the year
2007, only one band has been able to
maintain the critical acclaim and the
following of fans they gained in the rock
resurgence of 2001: The White Stripes.
The new ‘Stripes’ album goes back to
the pure rock/blues roots of the band’s
early albums (e.g. De Stijl), but also
maintains the evolution they made in
their sound with their last album, Get
Behind Me Satan, with quirky sounds
from instruments you wouldn’t expect
a ‘modern rock’ band to incorporate
(bagpipes, for example). The new album
is unlike anything else on the radio today,
Job Hunting
After doing nearly a year (two ‘official’
work-terms, plus one ‘unofficial’
semester working part-time) of co-op
last year, I decided to take a break in the
spring semester and focus on school.
So once summer came, I decided I really
should start looking for a part-time job
(especially with only three classes, two
of which are distance ed classes). After
working in a professional environment
making a pretty good wage, going
back to The Gap at $8.50 an hour was
not very enticing. So I decided to find
something more relevant and interesting.
After going to about 10 interviews, I was
either overqualified or underqualified for
the positions, or I simply had no interest
in them. It’s not even the fact that I didn’t
do well in my interviews either. It is
now just past mid-July, halfway through
the summer, and I’m still jobless with a
slowly-hemorrhaging bank account. So
I’ve decided unless something awesome
pops up, I’m just going to relax for the
rest of the summer and start again in the
fall. Let me tell you, I am NOT looking
forward to graduating and entering into
the ‘real world.’
Grade: F-
Oceans 13
11 > 13 > 12
Grade: B (B+ if also taking into account
my oft-stated man-crush on Brad Pitt)
Once
It’s about a broken-hearted, vacuumcleaner
repairman/busker who plays
guitar for change (credited as “The Guy”)
who meets “The Girl,” a pianist. The
movie chronicles their bonding and the
building of their ‘relationship’ (or lack
thereof), and is accompanied by songs
(often about heartbreak) performed by
11
the actor and the actress themselves.
The movie doesn’t have an elaborate
plot or fancy effects; instead it relies on
a solid script, wonderful music, and its
intimate mood. A great ‘date’ movie…
especially at Fifth Avenue Cinemas
(which is the only place showing it, at the
time of writing) with its ‘student prices’
for tickets and snacks, as well as the
adjustable armrests on its ‘love-seats.’
Grade: A
5-minute Breakfast Burritos
Microwave an egg or two in a small
bowl (preferably oiled for easier
cleanup) for a minute or so.
Take tortilla, add shredded cheese
and green onion.
Take the egg, cut it up, and put it in
the tortilla.
Stick the tortilla in a toaster-oven, set
under ‘broil’ for a minute or two until
cheese is melty.
Take out of oven, and then add
salsa.
Wrap and enjoy.
Grade: B+
The Buzz
Write random stuff like this (not for
the interest of readers, but just selfindulgence),
reading hate-mail from
Buzz-readers (or reading hate-facebookmessages
as ONE of our columnists
has received), making fun of hate-mail/
facebook-messages with fellow buzz
writers to protect our fragile egos,
going to Buzz socials and watching the
Finance Coordinator ‘waving down’ a
waitress at Shark Club while drunk, and
getting to put it on your resume under
a fancy title like “chief executive head
coordinator of graphic layout design.”
Grade: (A+) ∞
Nick is a 4th year Marketing student
and self-professed elitist bastard.
He is also the Chief Executive Head
Coordinator of Graphic Layout Design
of this fine publication.
nns@sfu.ca
July 2007

12
Networking Your Way to Deloitte
Continued from page 7
sports, current events, your weekend,
anything that you yourself would
find interesting to talk about. Some
additional tips regarding topics follow:
• Avoid personal topics. Don’t inquire
about someone’s family, religion, etc
unless they talk about it first.
• Be specific when asking questions.
“Tell me about your firm?” and
“What do you do?” are too vague for
someone to answer appropriately.
During the Event
Stay professional throughout the
session. There’s nothing worse than
talking to somebody in overly casual
tones only to later discover that they
are a manager or a partner. So to be
on the safe side, be professional at
all times and be aware that you are
constantly being observed by all firm
representatives. As well, conversations
can easily be overheard during busy
information sessions so it’s best to keep
things professional even when you’re
just talking to friends.
Entering the Conversation
It’s always hard the first time you have
to walk up to somebody you don’t know
and start talking. Here are some tips to
get you started to work up your courage
and make the first step towards creating
a positive impression:
• Network with a buddy. Let’s face it,
networking can be a daunting task
at times. Easing into conversations
with a friend can definitely fend off
those butterflies in your stomach
and keep awkward silences at bay.
• Don’t know what to do with your
hands? Feel awkward putting them
in your pockets all of the time?
Occupy your hands by holding your
business cards or a drink in your
hand. But always remember to
keep at least one hand free for the
handshake!
The Conversation
You’ve successfully made it into the
conversation. Now what should you do?
Here are some tips for an unforgettable
conversation:
• Stay focused and listen carefully.
Resist the temptation to start
planning what you’re going to
say next while the other person is
talking. Instead, focus on listening
and ask questions about the existing
topic rather than making awkward
jumps to new subjects.
• Pauses are not necessarily a bad
thing. Take the time to think before
you speak and speak as if you were
talking to a friend.
• Pay attention to the other person’s
body language. Information sessions
are usually packed with people and
you may need to move closer to
hear, but remember to respect the
other person’s personal space and
don’t crowd them.
Ending the Conversation
Your last words are as important as
your first, so here are some tips and
tricks on how to end a conversation and
leave a great impression with the firm
representatives:
• Exchange contact information. Ask
for the other person’s business card
and offer yours.
• Reiterate your interest. To leave a
well-remembered impression, you
may want to re-emphasize your
interest in the firm and your passion
for the work.
• Repeat the person’s name when
saying goodbye. Not only is this a
great way to help you remember
names, but it also wraps up the
conversation with a personalized
statement.
Food
Free food and drinks are synonymous
with networking. Before you dive into the
goodies, here are a few tips for eating
and drinking in a formal environment:
• Choose between eating and
drinking. Remember to keep one
hand free for shaking hands and
exchanging business cards. You do
not want to be caught with a plate in
one hand and a glass in the other!
• Avoid greasy finger foods if you
plan on shaking hands with
professionals!
• Know your limit and stay within
it. While alcohol may calm your
nerves, a few nervous sips here
and there can lead you to drinking
too much, thereby quickly tarnishing
your professional image. Don’t
feel obligated to drink if you are not
comfortable with it.
After the Event
After an exciting networking event,
you may want to sit down and relax on
a comfortable couch and enjoy your
favorite TV show, but wait! You still have
some homework to do…
Follow up
A thank you letter is a powerful tool to
place you above the competition and
it also provides a great opportunity to
express your personal appreciation.
Here are some tips that you may find
helpful:
• Establish contact within 24 hours.
Send a quick email or a phone
call to express your thanks for the
wonderful conversation you shared
in a timely manner.
• Customize each thank you letter.
Tailor your letter to highlight the
interesting topics you discussed with
the representative during the event
and avoid using standard templates.
Take Notes
Cheat-sheets aren’t just for school, you
can also create one to keep track of who
you’ve talked to. Here are some tips:
• Use the back of business cards.
Write down the important topics,
thoughts and ideas discussed during
the conversation on the back of the
firm representative’s business card.
This will help you match the facts
with the right person.
• Do your homework right away. Don’t
expect that you will still remember
everything the next morning after
waking up from a sweet dream,
so write down all of the facts
immediately after the networking
session.
Review Your Notes
Before going out to your next event,
don’t forget to take out the business
cards and read the notes you took
from last time. This will help you better
link the names with the faces and
provide a good place to start your next
conversation.
July 2007

Battle of the Clubs
by: Shyla Chandra
Director of
Communications, MISA
Sunday, July 8th marked the
Management Information System
Association’s (MISA’s) very first
Paintball Club Challenge. For those
of you who are unfamiliar with the
concept, paintball is a game in which
small nickel-sized balls filled with paint
are fired out from a special gun. The
force of the shot causes the paintball
to explode onto the target’s body.
Although it sounds quite painful, it is
also a lot of fun.
Many business clubs and several
independent teams came out to the
event. Kevin Ngai was definitely the
most prepared player, as he brought
his very own equipment and came with
extra paintballs up his sleeves. The
hot weather, tall trees and tiny shrubs
turned the area into a convincing
battlefield. The teams were clad in
protective face masks and layers of
clothing, and were ready to battle it
out. Many of the players had never
been paintballing before, but they did
not let their inexperience stand in the
way.
As the day progressed, teams were
slowly eliminated. Those off the field
were busy showing off their bruises
and battle scars, and telling stories of
their adventures. Arjun Verma and
Erica Leung had the barbeque up
and running, providing much-needed
13
nutrients to the wounded and hungry
combatants. As chatter and laughs
were filling the air off the field, silence
and sharp popping sounds could be
heard in the distance.
“The teams were clad in
protective face masks and
layers of clothing, and were
ready to battle it out”
The battle was grueling and rough,
and in the end, only one team was
victorious. However, it was an
awesome new experience for many,
and everyone had a great time.
Congratulations to Jen Jiang for
hosting such a successful event!
July 2007

OUR STUDENTS ACHIEVE SUCCESS
That’s why they come to the Career Management Centre (CMC) - to launch their careers. Alumni call us when they’re ready
for exciting new opportunities and employers turn to us for today’s employees and tomorrow’s executives. We provide the
professional resources that lead to career success stories. And we know that every step of the career management process
is an important part in moving you forward in achieving your career goals.
Let us help you with the big questions and the little details. Learn the tools you’ll need to succeed in today’s competitive job
market. We can show you how to manage your career and your future. To support you in achieving a rewarding career, the
CMC offers the following specialized services, support, and resources to assist your growing professional career.
•Company Recruiting & Information Sessions - Attend on-campus recruiting sessions and meet employers
who are searching for qualified, capable and energetic applications from SFU business students and Alumni.
•Career Skills Workshops - Attend our workshops to learn how to: network, write resumes and cover letters
that win, ace the interview, business etiquette and much more!
•Business Speakers - In collaboration with SFU Business Student Clubs, we host speakers from the business
community to provide invaluable information about business, employment options, and current industry trends.
•Resource Library - WetFeet guides, the BIV Book of Lists, the Vault and Business in Vancouver newspapers.
We have a great library with all the resources you need to get started. Email us to gain on-line access.
•Job Board - Updated daily with positions specifically for BBA students and Alumni.
•Business Career Expo - Gain exposure to top employers and recruiters at this annual high-profile event.
Volunteer for the expo to further your contacts and networking relationships.
•CA Recruit - If accounting is your career path, start your journey with the CA Recruit. This is an annual
recruitment campaign for local and national CA Firms to hire accounting students and graduates.
•Computer Workstation - Use our in-house station to search for jobs or work on your resume and cover letter.
• Career Advising/Coaching - Our Career Advisor is on-campus to meet with you for a quick drop-in or to book a
30 minute coaching appointment to discuss your work search strategy, effective resume and cover letter writing,
interview preparation, industry inside info and employment trends in business.
THROUGH YOUR CAREER NETWORK
For more information on all of the above, visit CMC’s Career Network. It’s the place to be if you are an SFU Business student
who wants to prepare for and achieve your career goals in business. By using Career Network you can book career coaching
appointments, sign up for upcoming recruiting events, career workshops and interviews, apply to targeted business job
postings, find the best resources for learning about companies and industries, and much more. This system can also store
an unlimited number of Word formatted resumes and cover letters. Career Network is your on-line hub for your career
management program.
Visit Career Network at: www.sfubusiness.ca/careernetwork and follow the instructions to log in.
You will then be prompted to update your profile information and then will have immediate access to the Career Network.
Visit us at WMX 2363
Phone: 604.291.5544
bbacareers@sfu.ca
www.sfubusiness.ca/careers

Alumnus Advice: Burning Bridges Is
For The Near-Sighted
by: Muhammad Amir
Alumnus
Many, many
moons ago, I went
out on a date
with a girl in our
beloved faculty.
Long story short: It
was a bad date.
Not a big deal,
right? Well, in hindsight, no.
Of course, explain that to the bratty,
melodramatic malcontent who
assumed control of my body through
a greater part of my tenure at SFU. If
my reputation precedes itself (which,
admittedly, part of me still hopes it
does – I was a campus celebrity until
last month when I graduated), you’ll
know that I can be a jerk. I’ll admit
it. Sometimes, just for the fun of it.
After all, what do you expect from
someone who took the public forum
(via The Buzz; via The Peak) to rip
on ex-girlfriends, administrators,
and professors – sometimes even
by name? I’m not proud of all those
moments, except the infamous
“Sonnet” article (that was pretty rad),
but I’m not going to deny them. So
given my public persona, it should
come of no surprise that my private life
was full of its own sins.
Oh yeah, I took people on. I called
them out, and let them know what’s
what. To let it slide was a virtue into
which I would later mature…to my
detriment.
Okay, so we’ve established that I
was, at one point in my life, a jerk. I’m
reformed. I’m mature. It’s all dandy,
right?
“some of those people you
may have not gotten along
with, might actually be in
positions of power”
Well, not exactly. Remember all those
people I upset? They have no reason
whatsoever to come around and
forgive me. They owe me nothing.
This is significant, because, the new
world of Facebook and Google is
small. Very small. Grade school peers,
teachers, summer flings - everyone
is awaiting your arrival to reality. And
some of those people you may have
not got along with might actually be in
positions of power… including the type
of power that can considerably help
you.
“The lesson is simple and
the fruits of its rewards are
plenty”
Now – I must warn you: Authenticity is
good. I’m not urging you to be friends
with everyone, or have 1,000 friends
on your Facebook in order to hedge
your bets for the future. If you’re one
of those types, 990 out of those 1,000
friends will think of you as a complete
phony… and no one likes a fraud.
But, what I am suggesting is that it is
15
stupid to be burning bridges or souring
a relationship to the point where you
do not speak to someone (and the
other person will not speak to you) if
you two meet each other randomly.
Really stupid. Whatever the beef is, it’s
not worth it. Trust me.
“Life is too short to hold
grudges or not to make
nice”
Life is too short to hold grudges or not
to make nice. In the end, whatever
your disagreement with someone
probably won’t matter in a few years,
let alone a few months. So why bother
yourself with bad relations that can
hamper your own social freedom for
any amount of time?
In short: Don’t burn bridges. The
lesson is simple and the fruits of its
rewards are plenty.
When Ms. Bad Date put in the good
word for me with a potential employer
– good enough to score me an
interview – I breathed a deep sigh of
relief, “I am so glad I never told her off
after that miserable date!”
As far as the interview itself goes…
Well, I’m no longer in the business of
libel, so we’ll leave it at that.
tell the world! do you or a fellow SFU Business student have news to
share?
e-mail your triumphs in case competitions, sporting events, or anything business-related to
buzz-editor@sfu.ca
July 2007

16
Summer Randomness
by: Christine Chow
Columnist
Since this is the first semester I
have taken summer courses,
I had a great deal of trouble
trying to keep focus on my
5 courses. It was painful
doing homework assignments
when all your friends around
you were out having fun in
the sun. There is no doubt
that the awesome summer weather increases
procrastination levels. Therefore, to make use
of my procrastination effectively, I thought I
would share some random facts about summer:
• Summer days are typically referred as “dog
days”. This term may have originated from
the Romans who associated the hot and
muggy days with the influence of Sirius,
the Dog Star, which is high in the sky
during summer.
• Contrary to popular belief, sunscreen
with a lower SPF protection does not
mean that it does not protect as well
as higher SPF sunscreen. In fact,
according to the MythBusters from
Discovery Channel, tests have
shown that sunscreen with an
SPF of 15 blocks 93% of UV
rays while SPF-30 sunscreen
blocks about 97%.
Anything sunscreen
higher than an SPF
of 30 still hovers
around 97%.
• The Eiffel Tower grows every summer! In fact, it
grows 6 inches taller because the metal of the
structure expands.
“it grows 6 inches taller because the metal of
the structure expands” (that’s what SHE said)
• According to Stats Can, about three-fifths of all
weddings in Canada during 2003 took place during
the summer.
• On average, Canadians drive 86.7 billion kilometers
in the summer months of July to September, which
represents the busiest quarter of the year.
• Two favourite treats of the summer, iced tea and ice
cream cones, were introduced at the 1904 St. Louis
Exposition, which was also the venue for the 1904
Summer Olympics.
• The Popsicle, summertime favourite, was
invented by accident. A young boy named Frank
Epperson had left a popular drink, a mix of
soda water powder with water, in his back
porch. He also left a stirring stick in the
drink and overnight, the drink had turned
into the infamous treat. Originally named the
Eppsicle, the treat is now called Popsicle.
This ends my summer randomness. As
the summer term comes to an end,
I hope all of you can enjoy the rest
of the summer while you can. Most
importantly, remember to slap on
the sunscreen!
got a comment on this or another article in the newsletter?
do you want to write for the BUZZ?
e-mail your thoughts (under 150 words) or your articles (up to 1000 words) to
buzz-editor@sfu.ca
July 2007

I WANT YOU
FOR THE BUZZ
INTERESTED IN WRITING FOR THE BUZZ?
CONTACT UNCLE PHAM buzz-editor@sfu.ca

18
The Mind of Momma Pham
by: Ian Pham
Editor in Chief
Behind every man
is his momma,
sculpting and
shaping him into a
fine human being
worthy of being
squeezed out of her
womb.
I have a great mother. She means
well, very nice and is a sweet
little lady. However, I do think the
Vietnamese culture has had an
immense effect on her ability to
rationalize and use logic throughout
the daily rigors of Canadian life.
She has some very odd reasoning
and behaviour when it comes to things
she’s not quite familiar with.
Technology:
I’m on my computer most of the time,
as I am a “computer” guy. My room is
also quite small, and so when I’m on
the computer for the night, it gets quite
stuffy. Now, a normal person would
say something like, “Let me open your
window and get you some fresh air.”
Momma Pham is anything but normal.
She would say—scratch that, she
would yell, “TOO MACH COMPUTER!!
I OPEN YOUR WEENDO FOR
RADIATION FLY OUT…”
According to my mom, radiation
hovers in the air like dust particles,
waiting for somebody to give it an
opening so that it may release itself to
the outside world – like a cat.
Health/Career Advice:
First of all, I must say this is one
of the weirdest pieces of advice
Momma Pham has given me. My
lips are sometimes chapped, due
to not abiding by the unrealistic
recommendation of drinking 8 glasses
of water a day (8 glasses??? Come
on, I’m not a camel.). When Momma
Pham sees her baby boy in such an
appalling condition, she exclaims,
“SON!!! YOU HAF TO DRING A
WADUR!! OR YOU NOT GET A
GOOD JOB AND YOU MAYBE GET
CANGSA (cancer)!!!”
At this point I just give her the
most confused look possible, as
though she’s just told me that purple
Jazzercising elephants were the cause
of the fall of the Berlin Wall.
“How in the HOLY HELL does not
drinking water cause me to have a
shitty job and get cancer???” I asked.
This was her response:
“SON…YOU TOO YOUNG…I
TELL YOU….YOU DONG DRING A
WADUR…YOU GET A DRY LIPS….
IF YOU GET A DRY LIPS…NOBODY
HIRE YOU FOR JOB…BECAUSE
THEY NOT LYE THE MAN WIT
THE DRY LIP…AND IF YOU NOT
HAVE JOB..YOU HAVE TO LIVE ON
STREET…AND ISS SO COLD AND
DIRTY…MAKE YOU GET CANGSA.”
Artists Rendition:
Ian’s Mother
It’s not like she’s exaggerating, she
firmly believes these are the events
that will transpire when one does not
drink enough water. And there’s no
point arguing with her.
Ordering Food:
As you can already tell, Momma
Pham has her own brand of the
pronunciation of English words. Here
are some more:
We say it: “Hamburger”
She says it: “Hambugga”
We say it: “Ginger ale”
She says it: “Jeenja aaeeoww”
We say it: “Fried Rice”
She says it: “Fry Rye”
It’s real embarrassing sometimes
when she orders food at McDonalds
because she doesn’t read the menu
at all. She just knows that she likes
chicken. This is how it goes down:
McDonalds guy: Hello maam, how
may I help you?
Momma: Ammmmm I wood lye a
hambugga please
McDonalds guy: ..OK..what kind of
hamburger would you like?
Momma: Amm...I wan cheecken.
McDonalds guy: You mean the
McChicken?
Momma: Does it have cheecken
insye?
McDonalds guy: Yes
Momma: OK I wan 2 cheecken
hambugga
McDonalds guy: Chicken
hamburgers? or you want the
McChicken? or the McGrill or …what?
Momma: Yes I lye cheecken please :)
McDonalds guy: ….
Momma: And friend fry too!
Now I don’t write this to bash my
mother, I write it so that I may tell
the world of the unique mannerisms
of such a wonderful lady. All of our
mommas have some weird ass trait
in them, whether it be smothering you
with affection, being overprotective, or
being incredibly nosy – Momma Pham
just thinks things like you can lose
weight by eating pickles, that’s all.
Feel free to profess your love for your
momma to Ian at ihp@sfu.ca
July 2007

19
fun stuff
SUDOKU
Sudoku is a logic-based placement puzzle.
The aim of the puzzle is to enter a numerical
digit from 1 through 9 in each cell of a 9×9 grid
made up of 3×3 subgrids (called “regions”),
starting with various digits given in some cells (the
“givens”); each row, column, and region must
contain only one instance of each numeral.
-Wikipedia
Try to get the solution in the least amount of time!
Difficulty this month: Medium
Answer below:
Start here
Once You Go Brown, You Get Preggers
Brought to you by Steamed Carrot Comics!
www.steamedcarrot.com
July 2007