Carpe Diem - St. Pius X Catholic High School

y Britney
Spears, donate
your radio to
charity. If you
have a favorite
character
from MTV’s
Real World
series, kick in
your television
set. If you
get a monthly
subscription of
any periodical
that has age
references
in the title
including and
not limited to Seventeen, Teen People, and Teen Vogue, don’t burn
them because that would be harming the environment (which is so
un-Indie), but recycle them immediately. Everyone knows Indie rockers never allow
mainstream influences pollute their superior nonconformist minds. You are required
to absorb only obscure alternative music that no one has ever heard of, but you
Wetland Wonder
James Watters
must dropped them as soon as they become famous. You cannot mention bands like
Violent Femmes or Pixies because everyone is familiar with their music. Randomly
throw in an esoteric band name like Galaxie 500 during an Indie rocker gathering
and you get instantaneous acclaim. Also, true Indie rockers participate only in antimainstream
activities. The best way to expose your maverick side is by protesting.
It doesn’t matter what you’re protesting exactly, just as long as it appears to be a
profound problem or social matter that is not in accordance with the Indie mode of
thinking. Create a catchy slogan or jargon for your issue and you get bonus points.
But if your issue or slang becomes too popular than you lose all your Indie cred
(Indie-speak for credibility).
Have you rejected old hygiene habits? Are you dressed in an eccentric
outfit found in the bottom barrels of your local thrift store? Have you perfected
your jaded facial expression? Do you only listen to unknown alternative bands on
dedicated music labels? Have you picketed at a bizarre demonstration? If you
answered “yes” to all these questions then dust off your Chuck Taylor’s and pat
yourself on the back- you are officially and Indie rocker! But remember don’t be too
excited. That would mean you are trying to look cooler than you actually are. And
everyone knows there is no greater sin the Indie world.
Carpe Diem 2005
11