Anger Management Manual - the ATTC Network

Anger Management for Substance Abuse and Mental Health Clients
Suggested Remarks
(Use the following script or put this in your own words.)
Assertiveness Training
Sessions 7 and 8 provide an introduction to assertiveness training and the Conflict Resolution
Model. Assertiveness involves a set of behaviors and skills that require time and practice to
learn and master. In this group, we focus on one important aspect of assertiveness training,
that is, conflict resolution. The Conflict Resolution Model can be particularly effective for helping
individuals manage their anger.
Many interpersonal conflicts occur when you feel that your rights have been violated. Before
entering anger management treatment, you may have tended to respond with aggressive
behavior when you believed that another person showed you disrespect or violated your rights.
In today’s session, we will discuss several ways to resolve interpersonal conflicts without
resorting to aggression.
As we discussed in session 1, aggression is behavior that is intended to cause harm or injury to
another person or damage property. This behavior can include verbal abuse, threats, or violent
acts. Often, when another person has violated your rights, your first reaction is to fight back or
retaliate. The basic message of aggression is that my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are important
and that your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are unimportant and inconsequential.
One alternative to using aggressive behavior is to act passively or in a nonassertive manner.
Acting in a passive or nonassertive way is undesirable because you allow your rights to be violated.
You may resent the person who violated your rights, and you may also be angry with
yourself for not standing up for your rights. In addition, it is likely that you will become even
more angry the next time you encounter this person. The basic message of passivity is that
your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are important, but my feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are
unimportant and inconsequential. Acting in a passive or nonassertive way may help you avoid
the negative consequences associated with aggression, but it may also ultimately lead to negative
personal consequences, such as diminished self-esteem, and prevent you from having
your needs satisfied.
From an anger management perspective, the best way to deal with a person who has violated
your rights is to act assertively. Acting assertively involves standing up for your rights in a way that
is respectful of other people. The basic message of assertiveness is that my feelings, thoughts,
and beliefs are important, and that your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs are equally important. By
acting assertively, you can express your feelings, thoughts, and beliefs to the person who violated
your rights without suffering the negative consequences associated with aggression or the devaluation
of your feelings, which is associated with passivity or nonassertion.
It is important to emphasize that assertive, aggressive, and passive responses are learned
behaviors; they are not innate, unchangeable traits. Using the Conflict Resolution Model, you
can learn to develop assertive responses that allow you to manage interpersonal conflicts in a
more effective way.
40