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Painted Nails and Personal Narratives - Thompson Writing Program

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54<br />

The idea behind<br />

this essay actually<br />

surfaced in<br />

my neuroscience<br />

FOCUS program<br />

during a discussion<br />

with Profes -<br />

sor Julie Tetel.<br />

She explained<br />

that society imagines<br />

a conflict between the sciences<br />

<strong>and</strong> humanities, one that pits rationalism<br />

against emotion, hard truth against<br />

personal interpretation. The dichotomy,<br />

she said, was a false one—the<br />

subjectivity of human knowledge means<br />

that science <strong>and</strong> art may be one <strong>and</strong><br />

the same.<br />

Her thoughts led me to question<br />

Duke’s pre-med culture, which often<br />

treats medicine as a strict science <strong>and</strong><br />

emphasizes orgo grades while ignoring<br />

the humanity of healing. I wanted my<br />

final <strong>Writing</strong> 20 project to address this<br />

dilemma. Though at that point we had<br />

written only personal narratives, this<br />

assignment presented a new challenge:<br />

to incorporate creative nonfiction elements<br />

into a research paper.<br />

All good writing is personal. Infor -<br />

ma tion is seen through <strong>and</strong> processed<br />

by an author’s unique lens, <strong>and</strong> the<br />

es say or report or journalistic article<br />

Only when writing her story<br />

did I began to see her as not<br />

some surgery survivor, but as a<br />

person with a perspective <strong>and</strong><br />

a past <strong>and</strong> penchant for feisty<br />

nail polish.<br />

�<br />

<strong>Painted</strong> <strong>Nails</strong> <strong>and</strong> <strong>Personal</strong><br />

<strong>Narratives</strong>: An Exploration of<br />

Creative Nonfiction in Medicine<br />

Jocelyn Streid<br />

<strong>Writing</strong> 20 (Spring 2010): <strong>Writing</strong> the Self<br />

Professor Bridget Cooper<br />

Her nails were always red. Blood-red, devil-red, Marilyn-Monroe-ain’tgot-nothing-on-me<br />

red. They rested on top of graying sheets, a stark<br />

contrast to the overwhelmingly institutional hospital room, the shapeless<br />

medical gown, the wrinkled skin <strong>and</strong> tired eyes of the elderly<br />

woman whose fingers blazed with polish. I don’t remember her name<br />

or where she was from or what surgery she had just endured, but I remember her<br />

nails. And the awkwardness — I remember that, too. I was a volunteer at Barnes-<br />

Jewish Hospital, roped into the position by a mother who wanted me to do something<br />

medical with the summer after my sophomore year of high school. If anything,<br />

though, I emerged more disinclined towards medicine than ever before. Overly efficient<br />

doctors with clip boards <strong>and</strong> clipped voices strode past me; too-white walls left<br />

me gasping for air. Floundering<br />

amongst surgeries <strong>and</strong> suffering,<br />

I couldn’t even seem to connect<br />

with the patients I was supposed<br />

to be helping. I sat with the<br />

elderly woman for hours over<br />

that summer, trying not to look<br />

at the peeling b<strong>and</strong>ages around<br />

her neck while reading aloud<br />

Better Homes <strong>and</strong> Gardens magazines<br />

so that I wouldn’t have to<br />

think of something to say. She<br />

was old; I was young. She was<br />

sick; I was not. There was a<br />

chasm between us that I could<br />

not begin to bridge.<br />

I pushed her out of my memory<br />

when I turned in my hospital<br />

badge, convinced that volunteering<br />

in healthcare, let alone working<br />

in it, was not for me. Years<br />

later, though, while composing<br />

an essay on volunteerism, she<br />

somehow made it onto the page.<br />

As my writing unleashed memo-


ies of her, something strange began to happen.<br />

I wondered if her sheets were scratchy. I<br />

imagined what she was like when she was<br />

younger. I asked myself if she felt awkward,<br />

too. I look back now on what I wrote — “she<br />

preserved her dignity by painting her nails”—<br />

<strong>and</strong> realize that only when writing her story<br />

did I began to see her as not some surgery survivor,<br />

but as a person with a perspective <strong>and</strong> a<br />

past <strong>and</strong> penchant for feisty nail polish. My<br />

words examined my response to raw emotion;<br />

through them, I learned to articulate my<br />

empathy.<br />

I wonder what would have changed if the<br />

physicians I saw—the ones more interested in<br />

sodium-potassium pumps <strong>and</strong> phospholipid<br />

bilayers than the patients themselves — took<br />

the time to write something other than a medical<br />

report. The literary arts offer an underst<strong>and</strong>ing<br />

of human experience that nothing<br />

else can; they aren’t, after all, called the<br />

humanities for nothing. At the same time, the<br />

practice of healing holds its own unique<br />

insights into human life <strong>and</strong> human death.<br />

That’s why the moment after I told my college<br />

advisor that I wanted to be a doctor, I told her<br />

that I also wanted to be an English major. I’m<br />

convinced that there’s a relationship between<br />

great literature <strong>and</strong> great medicine, <strong>and</strong> that<br />

the most important type of literature a doctor<br />

can read lies at the bottom of the literary hierarchy.<br />

Creative nonfiction — sometimes condemned<br />

as inartistic <strong>and</strong> even self-aggr<strong>and</strong>izing—cultivates<br />

exactly the kind of awareness<br />

of the self <strong>and</strong> of others that the healthcare<br />

system now lacks. As I plunge into this exploration<br />

of arts both literary <strong>and</strong> medical, I’ll<br />

examine how reading the stories of others<br />

<strong>and</strong>, in turn, telling our own, promotes selfreflection,<br />

increases our capacity for em pathy,<br />

<strong>and</strong> teaches us to listen to others in a radically<br />

different way. Then, I’ll show how this precious<br />

connection between creative nonfiction<br />

<strong>and</strong> medicine is being challenged when we<br />

need it now more than ever before.<br />

The link between the humble personal essay<br />

<strong>and</strong> the towering healthcare system seems<br />

ambitious at best, delusional at worst. Yet<br />

creative nonfiction does for doctors what traditional<br />

medical training seems to miss — it<br />

gives them permission to accept their emotions.<br />

Recognizing the pull <strong>and</strong> push of our<br />

fluctuating feelings seems simple enough, but<br />

the natural mode of human beings as emotion-laden<br />

creatures grates against the ideal<br />

exalted by the medical community. Physicians<br />

are supposed to be cool, calm, collected.<br />

There’s a reason we eat up the attitude of television’s<br />

Dr. House; he exhibits exactly the sort<br />

of composure in chaos that we crave in the<br />

doctor-stoic. Yet this ethos of professionalism<br />

has morphed into an imperative of impassivity;<br />

a doctor who cries when a patient receives<br />

a heartbreaking prognosis somehow isn’t<br />

doing their job. Dr. Suzanne Poirier of the<br />

University of Illinois explains that physicians<br />

often consider emotional distress “a weakness”<br />

<strong>and</strong> consequently “hide feelings of grief, selfdoubt,<br />

<strong>and</strong> isolation” (Shapiro 142). It’s no<br />

wonder, then, that doctors suffer depression,<br />

alcoholism, <strong>and</strong> suicide at staggeringly high<br />

rates. When a cancerous concentration of bottled-up<br />

emotions metastasizes, a physician’s<br />

mental health lies ravaged in its wake (Bar -<br />

clay 1 <strong>and</strong> Siegel 593).<br />

A possible prescription? <strong>Writing</strong> creative<br />

nonfiction. It requires doctors to reflect upon<br />

rather than repress the reality of their own<br />

struggles; when pouring their stories onto<br />

paper, they cultivate a sort of emotional<br />

awareness that forces them out of their stoic<br />

shell. The pen peels away their protective covering<br />

<strong>and</strong> there they are on the page — their<br />

selves laid bare. Those brave enough to exercise<br />

this all-encompassing honesty reap the<br />

rewards, for studies have found that physicians<br />

who practice personal writing for a mere<br />

five weeks feel less insecure <strong>and</strong> more able to<br />

cope with the immense responsibility of medicine<br />

(Nevalainen 220). It’s no large leap, then,<br />

to say that personal writing makes for a more<br />

competent physician. I don’t need a medical<br />

degree to know that better mental health<br />

leads to better performance.<br />

<strong>Writing</strong> creative nonfiction, however, functions<br />

as far more than a physician’s emotional<br />

release. Unlike pushing data in a lab or studying<br />

respiration in a class, crafting personal<br />

essays cultivates an all-too elusive quality no<br />

doctor can do without: empathy. In the medical<br />

field, the word “empathy” is a bit like<br />

“diversity”— it sounds good on paper <strong>and</strong><br />

looks great in mission statements, but nobody<br />

really knows what it means or how to get it.<br />

Confusion is underst<strong>and</strong>able; true empathy is<br />

not nearly as easy as, say, pity. As Dr. Roy<br />

Schafer explains, to empathize is to “feel yourself<br />

into the subjective experience of another”<br />

<strong>and</strong> “identi[fy] with the other” (qtd. in Das -<br />

Gupta 452). Anyone can feel sorry for a disease<br />

victim, but it takes emotional imagination<br />

to take “aspects of the other into the<br />

self” until the “boundaries of self <strong>and</strong> other<br />

are…blurred” (Ibid). Let’s be honest; all this<br />

that emerges serves as a reflection<br />

of the writer, no matter<br />

how subtly. To merge creative<br />

nonfiction <strong>and</strong> researched argumentation,<br />

I needed to display<br />

this personal element without<br />

compromising academic credibility.<br />

It’s easier said than<br />

done, of course, <strong>and</strong> I constantly<br />

caught myself either<br />

cramming in statistic after statistic<br />

or telling anecdote after<br />

anecdote. Revising was equally<br />

confusing. One paragraph<br />

would appear too me<strong>and</strong>ering<br />

<strong>and</strong> unsupported, while the<br />

next would strike me as information-dense<br />

<strong>and</strong> textbookdry.<br />

Yet while combining the<br />

worlds of research paper <strong>and</strong><br />

nonfiction narrative sometimes<br />

seemed an unnecessary hassle,<br />

I ultimately realized that this<br />

was the only way the essay<br />

could be written; I could best<br />

argue for the synthesis of personal<br />

<strong>and</strong> academic approaches<br />

to medicine by exhibiting the<br />

same fusion in my paper. In<br />

short, I needed to argue for<br />

the importance of an individual’s<br />

story by telling a narrative<br />

of my own.<br />

There’s a relationship<br />

between great literature <strong>and</strong><br />

great medicine.<br />

55


56<br />

might sound like psychoanalyst tripe irrelevant to<br />

the practice of medicine. Is it really necessary for a<br />

doctor to “blur the boundaries” between herself <strong>and</strong><br />

her patient? The answer, according to a 2002 study,<br />

is a re sounding yes; physicians with higher levels of<br />

empathy actually have higher clinical competence<br />

during their first year after medical school (Hojat et<br />

al. 524). Another study seven years later found that a<br />

physician’s empathy can actually boost a patient’s<br />

immune system, speeding his recovery over ailments<br />

as un treatable as the common cold (Study: Doc tor’s<br />

Empathy May Help). Explanations are uncertain,<br />

but it’s all too clear that doctors need more than a<br />

brilliant MCAT score if they truly wish to serve.<br />

Empathy, however,<br />

does not come naturally<br />

to everyone, <strong>and</strong> even<br />

those gifted with oodles<br />

of it may find their abil -<br />

ity to empathize worn<br />

down in the emotional<br />

hotbed of a hospital,<br />

where stoicism provides<br />

for self-preservation in<br />

the face of human tragedy.<br />

Sterile hospital halls<br />

<strong>and</strong> sterile doctor’s in -<br />

struments encourage a<br />

sterility of emotions; con -<br />

stant exposure to death<br />

<strong>and</strong> disease practically<br />

necessitates it. Physi -<br />

cians often cope with the<br />

terror of responsibility<br />

<strong>and</strong> the inevitability of<br />

failure through “de per -<br />

sonalization of the pa -<br />

tient” (Shapiro 142). Yet<br />

a doctor who distances<br />

herself from the person<br />

she’s supposed to heal is<br />

soon dulled to the reality<br />

of human suffering; if<br />

she does not constantly<br />

renew her em pathy, she<br />

risks roboticism.<br />

<strong>Writing</strong> creative nonfiction<br />

may offer a solution.<br />

Doctors who write about where they work<br />

inevi tably write about whom they treat. Once they<br />

commit the patient’s story to paper, they gain a perspective<br />

that no medical briefing sheet could afford<br />

them. Crafting a narrative, Dr. Geoffrey Hartman of<br />

Yale explains, requires a “distinctly engaged rather<br />

than detached” writer. The doctor’s meditative lens<br />

“shield[s] the patient from being considered a passive<br />

medical object” (343). This writerly perspective<br />

A doctor who distances herself from the<br />

person she’s supposed to heal is soon<br />

dulled to the reality of human suffering;<br />

if she does not constantly renew her<br />

empathy, she risks roboticism.<br />

A doctor who writes automatically<br />

humanizes whom she heals—a character<br />

in a story is not a sick case but rather an<br />

individual who happens to be sick.<br />

completely transforms the way physicians approach<br />

their patients. As one young doctor tells us, writing<br />

means that instead of simply looking for “material to<br />

do a patient write-up,” she searches “for material<br />

that move[s] [her] <strong>and</strong> ma[kes] [her] wonder”<br />

(Reichert et al. 260). The physician thus steps into<br />

the role of compassionate observer rather than<br />

detached scientist. In incorporating a patient’s narrative<br />

into her own, a doctor automatically humanizes<br />

whom she heals—a character in a story is not a sick<br />

case but rather an individual who happens to be sick.<br />

Writ ing, then, awakens a physician to an individual’s<br />

existence as not just a patient, but also a person.<br />

Furthermore, reading creative nonfiction holds<br />

a place in the medical<br />

field every bit as crucial<br />

as writing it. Those who<br />

want to develop compassion<br />

for the patient<br />

might as well crack open<br />

a book as well as pick<br />

up a pen. Recent studies<br />

have found that reading<br />

narratives actually stimulates<br />

areas of the brain<br />

associated with empathy;<br />

subjects scored hig h -<br />

er on various tests for<br />

compassion if they read<br />

a story rather than a dry<br />

text (Haley). To read a<br />

narrative, after all, is to<br />

put oneself in the position<br />

of another <strong>and</strong> ex -<br />

perience their lives on<br />

page after page after<br />

page—this sort of imag -<br />

inative unity is the very<br />

basis of empathy.<br />

Yet even if novels <strong>and</strong><br />

short stories fuel the de -<br />

velopment of a physician’s<br />

empathy, creative<br />

nonfiction supercharges<br />

it. The difference lies in<br />

the personal narrative’s<br />

claim to truth. We find<br />

ourselves drawn to reality<br />

television <strong>and</strong> Hollywood exposés because there<br />

is something strangely <strong>and</strong> uniquely magnetic about<br />

real people <strong>and</strong> real events. In fact, research has<br />

revealed that the brain processes information it perceives<br />

as true in a way fundamentally different from<br />

information perceived as fiction. When reading or<br />

listening to someone’s actual story, neurological re -<br />

gions associated with both the recollection of personal<br />

experiences <strong>and</strong> self-referential thought pro cesses


ecome automatically activated (Abraham 4).<br />

Simply put, the individual in the story seems<br />

real because she reminds one of oneself. If this<br />

merging of the self-<strong>and</strong>-other sounds distinctly<br />

like Dr. Schafer’s definition of empathy —<br />

that of “feel[ing] yourself into the subjective<br />

experience of another” — that’s because it is;<br />

hearing about real people causes us to see<br />

them as more relevant to ourselves. Their ex -<br />

periences bring to mind our experiences, <strong>and</strong><br />

together, identities intertwine. Thus, reading<br />

creative nonfiction allows a physician to practice<br />

relating foreign experiences to personal<br />

ones; it nurtures a habit of seeing the world<br />

through another’s eyes <strong>and</strong> encourages exactly<br />

the sort of empathy hospital wards need.<br />

The ability to empathize, however, is not<br />

the only otherwise elusive skill that creative<br />

nonfiction nurtures. Reading personal writing<br />

also teaches aspiring doctors what we all<br />

failed to learn in kindergarten: how to listen.<br />

According to Dr. J. Vannatta of the University<br />

of Oklahoma, doctors can find about eighty<br />

to eighty-five percent of the information necessary<br />

for diagnosis in patient narratives (qtd.<br />

in Smith 55). Yet the medical interview often<br />

acts as an interrogation; the doctor fires off a<br />

list of questions about cough frequency, sleep<br />

fluctuations <strong>and</strong> the intensity of a running<br />

nose on a scale from one to ten. Although<br />

such rapid-fire run-downs may diagnose common<br />

conditions, Dr. Rita Charon argues that<br />

more complicated conditions require a patient<br />

to tell his story in full. As Charon listens, she<br />

must “identify metaphors or images, tolerate<br />

ambiguity <strong>and</strong> uncertainty…identify the<br />

unspoken subtexts, <strong>and</strong> hear one story in light<br />

of others told by [the] teller” (Charon 4). The<br />

doctor must remain sensitive to nuances of<br />

the patient’s story that no check-mark list can<br />

capture. This sort of intense attention may<br />

sound superhuman, but quite frankly, it<br />

isn’t — English professors have taught it for<br />

years. The art of interpretation lies in the<br />

domain of literary scholars, but such exclusivity<br />

need not be the case. Charon argues that<br />

such “narrative knowledge” finds apt application<br />

in healthcare, for doctors exposed to the<br />

literary arts cultivate skills of careful reading<br />

that translate into skills of careful listening<br />

(10). Readers cannot interrupt an author in<br />

the midst of her essay, <strong>and</strong> a doctor cannot<br />

interject to ask if the pain was mild, moderate,<br />

or intense. Instead, the listener, like the<br />

reader, must wait, collect evidence, <strong>and</strong> un -<br />

derst<strong>and</strong> the patient’s story from the patient’s<br />

viewpoint, not her own.<br />

What does this sort of interaction look<br />

like? It’s not a specialized set of knowledge or<br />

a radically new mode of treatment—it’s a subtle<br />

kind of attention to detail that we already<br />

practice when we open a book. The difference,<br />

though, is that instead of reading an essay,<br />

we’re reading a patient. Dr. Charon tells us<br />

the story of a man who came into her office<br />

complaining of crippling abdominal cramps.<br />

Charon, however, looked beyond the textbook<br />

list of ailments. She noted the pressured way<br />

her patient spoke, saw the tension with which<br />

he gripped the examination table, <strong>and</strong> remembered<br />

his words when he said that he had<br />

endured the pain for a decade or so without<br />

once stepping into a hospital. These small<br />

signs signaled to Charon that her pa tient harbored<br />

a long-st<strong>and</strong>ing fear of the medical<br />

Hearing about real<br />

people causes us to see<br />

them as more relevant<br />

to ourselves.<br />

establishment—one that had compromised his<br />

health for years. With this knowledge in mind,<br />

she treated him with extra gentleness to ensure<br />

that her examination was “not an assault but<br />

an effort to help” (Charon 12). This is what listening<br />

to the patient means; by absorbing the<br />

man as a person with a past rather than as a<br />

hodgepodge of symptoms, she cared for his<br />

health—not only as it pertained to his immediate<br />

condition, but also as it related to his relationship<br />

with medicine as a whole.<br />

Careful listening, however, requires even<br />

more than picking up details <strong>and</strong> piecing<br />

57


58<br />

together plotlines, which again explains why<br />

creative nonfiction offers more to a physician<br />

than novels. Here too the key lies in creative<br />

nonfiction’s relationship to reality. An individual’s<br />

story is an account of subjective emotions<br />

<strong>and</strong> experiences, not a list of facts. The<br />

teller of the story lays a narrative framework<br />

over an ever-shifting collage of impressions<br />

An illness narrative, just<br />

like any narrative, cannot be<br />

objectively “True.” Those who<br />

read personal essays must sift<br />

through a complex portrayal of<br />

reality <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong> the author<br />

not through just what she says,<br />

but also how she says it.<br />

<strong>and</strong> ideas; there are a thous<strong>and</strong> ways to communicate<br />

the same events, the same symptoms,<br />

<strong>and</strong> each one gives a slightly different<br />

picture. By its very nature, then, an illness<br />

narrative, just like any narrative, cannot be<br />

objectively “True.” Those who read personal<br />

essays must sift through a complex portrayal<br />

of reality <strong>and</strong> underst<strong>and</strong> the author not<br />

through just what she says, but also how she<br />

says it. Reading creative nonfiction therefore<br />

uniquely equips doctors to deal with the everuncertain<br />

nature of truth in patient narratives.<br />

Both the essayist <strong>and</strong> patient present an<br />

underst<strong>and</strong>ing of their experiences subject to<br />

re-interpretation <strong>and</strong> revision; there is as<br />

much meaning in what they don’t mention as<br />

there is in what they do.<br />

Falsehoods <strong>and</strong> half-truths remain just as<br />

frustrating in the medical realm as they do in<br />

the literary one; a fair share of James Freys<br />

step into our hospitals. Yet the teenager who<br />

refuses to disclose his sexual history, the<br />

woman who lies about her alcohol usage, <strong>and</strong><br />

the man who exaggerates his symptoms to get<br />

a bottle of pills can’t be dealt with as easily as<br />

A Million Little Pieces. We can’t move their<br />

narratives from the Autobiography to the<br />

Fiction section of the bookstore <strong>and</strong> be done<br />

with them, for no matter how misleading<br />

their stories, they still need care.<br />

How, then, can a doctor provide treatment<br />

when the truth of a patient’s condition<br />

remains shifting <strong>and</strong> uncertain? Reading creative<br />

nonfiction gives otherwise floundering<br />

doctors the skills to make sense of intensely<br />

layered information, for the stories both<br />

essayists <strong>and</strong> patients tell are in themselves<br />

telling, no matter the veracity of their claims.<br />

As oral historian Aless<strong>and</strong>ro Portelli puts it,<br />

the “psychological truth” may indeed be just<br />

as important as the factual truth (qtd. in<br />

DasGupta 450). Take, for example, medical<br />

student Yo-El Ju, whose patient lied about his<br />

symptoms <strong>and</strong> downplayed his ailments.<br />

Tests revealed prostate cancer, but when Ju<br />

confronted her patient with the diagnosis, he<br />

stormed out of the hospital denying it. Had Ju<br />

considered the psychological implications of<br />

the patient’s deception, she might have sensed<br />

that fear of disease fueled his defensive denial<br />

<strong>and</strong> may have broken the news with more tact<br />

(Smith 56). Yet she had not practiced such<br />

nuanced interpretation, <strong>and</strong> a cancer victim<br />

left the hospital untreated.<br />

Ability to underst<strong>and</strong> a patient’s story —<br />

his whole story, including what he leaves<br />

unsaid—thus carries real weight in medicine.<br />

When it comes to deciphering the meaning<br />

of an illness narrative, doctors exposed to<br />

personal essays will have an advantage over<br />

those who have read only charts <strong>and</strong> spread<br />

sheets, which are understood to be purely factual,<br />

<strong>and</strong> even over those who have read only<br />

novels, which are understood to be purely fictional.<br />

So, creative nonfiction’s inherent blending<br />

of truth <strong>and</strong> artistic liberty mirrors the<br />

nature of the patient’s story.<br />

From more honest self-reflection to more<br />

genuine compassion to more nuanced listening,<br />

those in medicine st<strong>and</strong> to gain a great<br />

deal from the study <strong>and</strong> creation of personal<br />

essays. As a pre-med English major, it’s not<br />

hard to imagine why I want to argue this<br />

point—linking writing <strong>and</strong> reading to healing


justifies my undergraduate education. But before<br />

you cast me as some overly defensive bookworm, I’d<br />

like to clarify: the purpose of this essay isn’t to rationalize<br />

my choice in majors (though it’s certainly an<br />

added bonus)—it’s to change the mentality of those<br />

who assume that a doctor’s worth is measured solely<br />

in her MCAT scores <strong>and</strong> stethoscope skills.<br />

This assumption is an increasingly common<br />

one—biology <strong>and</strong> chemistry rank as the most popular<br />

majors for medical school applicants. Such an<br />

overt bias towards the sciences was not always the<br />

case; a medical school address delivered a century<br />

ago encouraged physicians-in-training to pursue<br />

studies in not only English, but also French <strong>and</strong><br />

German literature (Williams 1067). Although re -<br />

search reveals that humanities majors make just as<br />

competent — <strong>and</strong> often, as one Journal of Medical<br />

Education study found, even more competent —<br />

physicians later in their lives, the myth prevails: science<br />

people are tougher, smarter, <strong>and</strong> ultimately better<br />

doctors (Yens 434). I stepped into a pre-medical<br />

advising meeting a few months ago <strong>and</strong> found<br />

myself met with surprise. When one friend ex -<br />

claimed “But I thought you were an English major!”<br />

I slipped into my seat, ego bruised. My medical aspirations<br />

served as a secret identity; underneath the<br />

façade of the mild-mannered bookworm lay a purpose-driven<br />

pre-med. Like a Clark Kent caught<br />

changing in a telephone booth, I felt exposed whenever<br />

my two sides showed.<br />

Yet I’m not the first to draw a link between literature<br />

<strong>and</strong> medicine. Several physicians have thrived<br />

both in the ward <strong>and</strong> at the writer’s desk, including<br />

literary giants like Chekov, William Carlos Williams,<br />

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, <strong>and</strong> even Jurassic-Park-creator<br />

Michael Crichton (Fanning 1 <strong>and</strong> Howard 82).<br />

Even so, when the number of college students studying<br />

humanities has declined by over fifty percent in<br />

four decades, it’s clear that the doctor-writer tradition,<br />

along with the study of literature itself, is in<br />

danger (Cohen). The wailings of English professors<br />

<strong>and</strong> Literature majors alike may sound familiar —<br />

bemoaning the state of one’s subject is as clichéd a<br />

part of the humanities tradition as quoting Shakes -<br />

peare or wearing sports coats with elbow patches.<br />

Yet as one professor points out, “people in the hu -<br />

manities…have never felt quite as much of a panic<br />

that their field is becoming irrelevant” as they do<br />

today (qtd. in Cohen).<br />

Irrelevance. Ay, there’s the rub. No one who wants<br />

to function at cocktail parties will accuse the works<br />

of Dostoevsky of worthlessness, but in an increasingly<br />

digitized, economized, <strong>and</strong> supersized world,<br />

it’s far too easy to see them as irrelevant. I hesitate<br />

when telling people I’m an English major — the<br />

phrase “cardboard box,” <strong>and</strong>, more specifically, the<br />

image of me living in it, springs far too easily to<br />

mind. No wonder, then, that those with doctoring<br />

dreams often see reading <strong>and</strong> writing as frivolous,<br />

even self-indulgent. The underst<strong>and</strong>ing is this: the<br />

mushy-gushy of literature is all very well <strong>and</strong> good,<br />

but when a surgeon hovers above your tumor,<br />

scalpel in h<strong>and</strong>, it doesn’t matter what books she<br />

reads. If my examination of creative nonfiction in<br />

medicine has accomplished anything, though, it<br />

proves that it does.<br />

And while many doctors may scoff at the idea<br />

that literature could improve their medical practice,<br />

learning how to read narratives might help their bottom<br />

lines. Eighty percent of those who file for malpractice<br />

point to problems caused by superficial or<br />

insufficient communication between their physicians<br />

<strong>and</strong> themselves (Hojat 522). If doctors were to<br />

adopt the perspectives of those they care for, they<br />

would leave their patients — not to mention their<br />

pocketbooks—in a far happier state.<br />

Nevertheless, in the face of ever more crippling<br />

malpractice insurance, the once-sacred <strong>and</strong> nowstrained<br />

relationship between doctor <strong>and</strong> patient has<br />

begun to crumble. Medical students without narrative<br />

empathy become doctors without narrative<br />

empathy, <strong>and</strong> their focus is on “curing, not caring”<br />

(De Moor 212). The “good doctor” is one who analyzes<br />

the symptoms, makes the biological connections,<br />

<strong>and</strong> defeats the disease; in the face of all this<br />

hard science, patients necessarily become numbers,<br />

subjects, goals. The public, then, accuses their doctors<br />

of being too distant, <strong>and</strong> doctors accuse the<br />

public of being too dem<strong>and</strong>ing. There is no easy<br />

solution; goodness knows that even the most powerful<br />

of personal essays will not fix the fact that scores<br />

of Americans receive subpar treatment, if they re -<br />

ceive it at all. A society’s healthcare — scientifically<br />

overwhelming, economically burdensome, <strong>and</strong> forever<br />

<strong>and</strong> ever evolving — may always remain a perpetually<br />

— <strong>and</strong> perhaps necessarily — frustrating<br />

beast. Still, improving medicine begins with the cultivation<br />

of a new philosophy of healing, one that<br />

sees the patient as an individual with a history, a<br />

heart, <strong>and</strong> most importantly, a story. Creative nonfiction<br />

will not solve all of our problems, but it certainly<br />

gives us a tool with which to start.<br />

This essay, then, is not simply a gr<strong>and</strong> justification<br />

of my classes, my major, or my nerdy libraryleech<br />

tendencies. It’s my own desperate attempt to<br />

awaken the medical (<strong>and</strong>, for that matter, pre-medical)<br />

community to the ability of the personal narrative<br />

to heal some of the rifts in modern medicine <strong>and</strong><br />

in turn provide for better care. Repairing the<br />

increasingly strained relationship between doctors<br />

<strong>and</strong> their patients does not begin with more innovative<br />

treatment techniques or more extensive medical<br />

research. After all, critics of physicians rarely claim<br />

that they have too little medical knowledge. Instead,<br />

59


60<br />

Medical students with-<br />

out narrative empathy<br />

become doctors without<br />

narrative empathy, <strong>and</strong><br />

their focus is on “curing,<br />

not caring.”<br />

those who distrust their doctors do so because<br />

the white coat in front of them doesn’t seem<br />

to underst<strong>and</strong> what it means to be a patient.<br />

In short, we don’t need more science in medicine—we<br />

need more humanity. This is where<br />

reading <strong>and</strong> writing creative nonfiction comes<br />

in. After all, doctors underst<strong>and</strong> individual<br />

bodies, but readers <strong>and</strong> writers underst<strong>and</strong><br />

individual consciousnesses, the souls that<br />

make us more than bags of bones <strong>and</strong> blood.<br />

Recognizing the stories of other people—real<br />

people, with painted nails <strong>and</strong> an insatiable<br />

Better Homes <strong>and</strong> Gardens obsession —<br />

encourages physicians to reflect, empathize,<br />

<strong>and</strong> listen in a way that nothing else can. I<br />

know that’s what it did for me. �<br />

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Abraham, A., <strong>and</strong> DY von Cramon. “Reality =<br />

Relevance? Insights from Spontaneous Modulations<br />

of the Brain’s Default Network when<br />

Telling Apart Reality from Fiction.” PLOS One<br />

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Barclay, Laurie. “Confronting Physician<br />

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Ethics of Care in AIDS Physicians’ Memoirs.”<br />

Literature <strong>and</strong> Medicine 22.2 (2003): 208-229.<br />

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Howard, Sue N. “A River of Words: The Story of<br />

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Siegel, Bary J., <strong>and</strong> Faith T. Fitzgerald. “A Survey<br />

on the Prevalence of Alcoholism Among the<br />

Faculty <strong>and</strong> House Staff of an Academic<br />

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148 (1988): 593-95. Pub Med Central. Web.<br />

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Smith, Dinitia. “Medical <strong>Narratives</strong>: Diagnosis<br />

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Shapiro, Johanna. “Doctors in the Making:<br />

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Medicine 28.1 (2009): 138-44. Web. 25 Apr. 2010.<br />

“Study: Doctor’s Empathy May Help Cure Cold<br />

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Medicine <strong>and</strong> Public Health. 8 June 2009. Web.<br />

26 Apr. 2010.<br />

Williams, John. “An Introductory Address on the<br />

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