GRAND JUNCTION - The Source

The SOURCE
Road
By Jeffery Taylor
jt@jefferytaylor.co.uk
Trippin’
Hong Kong
Editor’s Note: Our Man in We checked into the Island
London, Jeffery Taylor, talks about Shangri-La Hotel, a giant, marblecool
pleasure-palace, and dumped
life (and traffic) in London after the
Olympic Games. Jeffery is a widower
and retired professional dancer on the huge plasma television in
our bags in our room. We switched
who now writes feature pieces for a the bathroom just for the hell of it
large London publication. He met Jeff and looked out across the water to
and Jade Inks (our publisher and his the mainland through our room’s
daughter) in Denver on a press junket glass wall. On the forty-third floor,
in 2011. Thanks, Jeffery, for contributing
your London view to our Western With my wife Masha, our plastic
it was a serious vertigo moment.
Colorado publication!
freshly charged, we hit the elevator’s
down button to the Pacific
Place shopping complex—or in
other words, Retail Paradise. The
one thing to remember about shopping
in Hong Kong: If you put off
buying until you find it cheaper,
you’ll need the rest of your life and
most of eternity.
Still reeling from our first contact
with Hong Kong’s staggeringly
infinite choice, we headed
straight down to the waterfront
and Western Market for souvenirs
for the kids, Sasha, 17, and Max, 13.
An Edwardian style building now a
four story emporium similar to the
gostiny dvors in my hometown of
Kazan in Russia, you can buy those
four-feet-tall ancient wooden mandarins
and horses so fashionable in
London, but we concentrated on
take-away felt hats ($HK20/£1.50)
and gossamer jackets ($HK26/£15).
Along with other tourists, we
stopped off early one morning for a
free wake-up T’ai Chi class with Mr
Ng. It was raining when we started
and bright sunshine when we
finished. We raided Night Market
on the mainland that produces an
avalanche of Louis Vuitton, Gucci
and Cartier (from $HK550/£40),
ideal for novelty gifts back home,
and on Nathan Street we picked
up fabulous local jade jewelry
($HK26/£15-$HK10,000/£700)
and miraculous gadgets from £2.00
($HK30) that Max and I can play
with for hours. In the same area is
the utterly fascinating Bird Garden,
Flower and Goldfish Market.
Starting at $HK26/£15, songbirds
in cages are really not on, but think
Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy
tale, The Nightingale, and cultural
constraints melt away. And
if that doesn’t work, I guarantee
the orchids in the Flower Market
($HK82/£6 for 1) will have you
shaking your head in disbelief for
days.
However short your visit, the
musts include the Island’s SoHo and
the world’s longest escalator (more
white knuckle vertigo moments,
but worth it) where for £50
($HK680) you eat like an Emperor
without the panoply and for a third
of the price at somewhere swanky.
On your last night, sail back to the
island about 8pm and see Hong
Kong lit up in the most extravagant
son et lumiere in the world.
The whole Hong Kong experience
had all the magic of Lord of
the Rings, all around us emerald
green mountains rising sheer from
the clear blue ocean, the weather
misty-damp and warm.
As principal dancer with
both Moscow’s Bolshoi Ballet and
the Royal Ballet, I have circumnavigated
the world a few times,
but nowhere compares to Hong
Kong for pure relaxation. You feel
a long way from home and all
your troubles—and we can’t wait
to return.
Travel Humor
Father O’Mally has been preaching
at his church in Ireland for so
long, that he decides to take a vacation.
He has never been married
and he is curious as to what an
American endures in everyday life.
So, he decides to go to the States
before it is too late. He hops on the
plane bound for Nevada. He arrives
in the Airport in Las Vegas.
As he is exiting the plane, someone
in the airport runs up to him
and exclaims, “Elvis! Oh my God!
It’s Elvis! I knew you weren’t dead
Elvis! How have you been?” Father
looks at her and says, “Get outta me
face. Can’t you see I’m not Elvis? I
don’t look a thing like Elvis.”
The father moves on to his cab
waiting outside. He hops in his cab
and he’s a little upset so he tells
the cabby, “Take me to my hotel
and step on it.” The cabby turns
and says, “Sure thing sir - Oh my
God!
It’s Elvis! I knew you weren’t
dead! I’m your number one fan!
It’s so great to see you!” “Shut up,
you imbecile. I’m not Elvis! Now
turn around and drive!”
So, the cabby speeds up to the
hotel. Father O’Malley gets his
things and walks up to the hotel
check-in counter. “Oh my God! Oh
my God!
It’s you!” screams the hotel
clerk. “You’re back Elvis! I knew
this day would happen. We saved
everything just the way you like it!
Free cheeseburgers, peanut butter
and banana fried sandwiches,
masseurs,
complementary hookers and a
full liquor bar! I’m so glad you’re
back!”
Father O’Malley looks at the
hotel clerk and says, “Thank you...
Thank you very much!”
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The SOURCE / April 2013
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