Life&Style February Issue - MaltaRightNow.com

| PARENTING |
Your child must be aware that real life
behaviour is reflected online and it’s
quite possible to come across bullying,
racism, sexism and advances of a
sexual nature online in text chat, just
as in ‘real life’ verbally.
shy, but online they feel they find the support to share
emotional or personal issues. They make friendships
online, yet these online ‘friends’ are for the most part
total strangers to them. If left unguided by parents,
children may not recognise the pitfalls of some aspects
of developing these friendships, especially if they are in
a familiar, chatty atmosphere.
The fact that children are talking to their online
friends from the security of their own home reinforces
the feeling that it’s safe to chat away online without
worrying. It is all too easy then for a child to unwittingly
divulge more personal information than is necessary,
and it doesn’t have to be to just individuals. Companies
often use the lure of a competition requiring online
registration to engage children in what is effectively a
commercial ‘online community’ relationship.
Below, we’ve some pointer to get you started on
helping your children use Internet chat for the best, and
safely. It’s not a question of putting in so-called ‘net
nanny’ filters, it’s more a case of common sense and
open dialogue; the same methods you would employ on
other issues you have to deal with as a parent such as
sex education or healthy eating.
Starting safely
It is rare, very rare that a child will come across online behaviour that is deeply
sinister or illegal in their online life. But using the Internet is a bit like learning
to drive; one must be aware of the hazards and become adept at reading the
road ahead. One of the first things we can do to help our children is to spend
time discussing the good and bad things about the online world as well as sitting
together viewing good sites and chat rooms in action.
Good chat rooms require registration the first time you visit; it’s important to
tell your children not to give out their email, address or phone number to anyone
without checking with you first. You should read the small print on the site and
see what happens to any such details. Avoid any sites which say that the details
will be passed on to other companies.
Personal details such as your child’s real name and location, email, address,
phone number or school, or those of friends, should never be visible to the
general public online. Get your child to use nicknames. Putting a nickname, real
age and general location – in our case, ‘Malta’ – is fine as it’s truthful but nonspecific
enough to ensure privacy.
Online behaviour
Your child must be aware that real life behaviour is reflected online and it’s quite
possible to come across bullying, racism, sexism and advances of a sexual
nature online in text chat, just as in ‘real life’ verbally. If your child is made to feel
angry, upset or uncomfortable, they must be made aware that they are in control
and can leave the chat, inform the chat room moderator and tell you. You can
report such incidents to the website and your Internet Service Provider.
With instant messaging, your children can create a ‘buddy list’ of only those
people they would like to talk to. However, children will need to understand that
they must make judgements about whether someone is trustworthy enough to be
invited to join their buddy list.
Getting ‘real world’ about the Internet
Buddy or not, get your child to recognise that their online ‘friend’ is still a
stranger to whom they must never divulge personal details. If your child does
wish to meet an online friend in ‘real life’, then make sure they let you know, and
that they NEVER go alone to a meeting without you the parent or a trusted carer
present.
If you have been engaged in a dialogue with your child and notice that they are
spending overly long hours chatting online or getting more secretive about their
online friends, you may need to work hard and sensitively to get them to open up
about their online discussions.
And finally, there is of course the problem of your child developing a lack of
fitness or eye strain or other repetitive strain injuries from too much time spent at
the computer. Get them to spend time doing rather than just chatting! .
L&s | FEBRUARY ’07