July 2012 - Southeast Michigan Mensa
July 2012 - Southeast Michigan Mensa
July 2012 - Southeast Michigan Mensa
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M-Pathy Page 8<br />
#1<br />
Submitted by Allegra Louth<br />
Please send your jokes and comments to: humor@mensadetroit.com<br />
The Fourth of <strong>July</strong> weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery<br />
school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. "We<br />
live in a great country," she announced. "One of the things we should be<br />
happy is that, in this country, we are all free."<br />
Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the<br />
back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, "I'm<br />
not free. I'm four."<br />
---<br />
On the first day of school, Mrs. White advised her first grade class that each<br />
school day starts with the "Pledge of Allegiance." She instructed them to put<br />
their right hand over their heart and repeat after her.<br />
As Mrs. White began the recitation she looked around the room and spied<br />
Andy who had his hand over the right cheek of his bottom. She asked, "Why<br />
do you think that's your heart, Andy?" "Well," he said, "because every time<br />
my Grandma comes to visit she pats me there and says, "Bless your little<br />
heart," and my Grandma never lies."<br />
---<br />
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for? Liberty!<br />
What did King George think of the American colonists? He thought they were<br />
revolting!<br />
Why did the British cross the Atlantic? To get to the other tide!<br />
What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved!<br />
What was General Washington's favorite tree? The infantry!<br />
What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a curly-haired dog? Yankee<br />
Poodle!<br />
What would you get if you crossed George Washington with cattle feed? The<br />
Fodder of Our Country!<br />
Puzzles<br />
By Tom Shaw<br />
#1<br />
In every supermarket<br />
You’re sure to see this name<br />
If your corn and peas are wilted<br />
You won’t have him to blame<br />
#2<br />
Copperfield makes things disappear<br />
He seems to do it all<br />
But can he throw a stick down<br />
And somehow make it crawl<br />
#3<br />
He exposed it to the nation<br />
The secret he had sought<br />
And wanted information on<br />
The thing that had been wrought<br />
#4<br />
Was it fact or fiction<br />
The method that he chose<br />
To show the troupes the wisdom of<br />
How far a dollar goes<br />
#5<br />
His daddy would endorse of course<br />
His untapped use of innate force<br />
Use the might behind the light<br />
When you are right you’ll win the fight<br />
Answers on page 19<br />
I used to work as a trapeze artist, until I was let go.
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