Winter 2011 - 65° Magazine

®
The Good Life
by Debra M. Saxton / Photography by D.M. Troutman
To those who meet him, Todd Harris is a self-assured man with a Carmel-based
dog grooming business. He treats people with respect and expects the same. He
prefers not to judge or to be judged. He loves rousing debates and prides himself
on being headstrong and opinionated. He plays “Devil’s advocate,” giving people
more to think about than their own limited viewpoint. But upon marveling at his
confidence, one wonders what shaped Todd into the man he has become.
In Santa Cruz, Todd spent much of his time on his own, becoming self-sufficient at
a young age. They lived in apartments and moved frequently. Every summer Todd
visited his grandparents at their 10-bedroom lakeside cottage. A favorite memory
of those visits is lying on the docks, listening to the water lap against the pier. “It is
self-soothing,” he says of that memory, which comes to mind almost daily.
Even though he came from wealth, Todd had an innate drive to work. Work
defines him to the point that he is uncomfortable relaxing. His first job at 12 was
dishwashing. Within days he worked his way up to cook. At 14 he ran the kitchen.
From 16-18 he ran the restaurant. With his earnings he helped his mother and
supported himself after he moved out of his mother’s house at 16.
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Todd’s path to the grooming business came after he took his first pet, a golden
retriever, to trainer Kitty Fields. He began training dogs with Kitty’s daughter,
Tammy. Tammy was given an opportunity to run a boarding facility, so Todd
helped. At 18, Tammy had a brain hemorrhage. During her year-long illness, Todd
took over management of the facility, and became her caregiver. He was 17 at the
time. Eventually they fell in love, married, and bought the facility.
Deciding to marry Tammy weighed heavily on Todd because from age six he
knew he was gay and already had “gay” experiences. Marriage to Tammy was the
path he felt he needed to take because of family and peer pressure. Tammy didn’t
know Todd was gay until he “came out” at 23. They divorced in 1994. During their
separation Todd opened Suds ‘n Scissors, his grooming business.
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Born to a wealthy family in Sunapee, New Hampshire, Todd is an only child whose
mother was 15 and father was a year older when he came into this world. They
were forced to marry but divorced when Todd was two. It is his grandmother
whom Todd credits with raising him until age 10 when he and his mother moved
to Santa Cruz, following his mother’s boyfriend, Peter Knight, to California.
Peter was a stabilizing force for Todd. He taught Todd how to figure things out
for himself—nurturing what Todd calls his “fierce independence.” Fascinated with
how things worked, Todd took things apart and put them back together. Peter
supported Todd’s curiosity by buying things to dismantle and rebuild. Todd says
he gained self-confidence because of Peter’s efforts. “He taught me that whatever
I wanted to do was possible,” Todd says.
The marriage blessed Todd with a natural son, Shane, who is 24 and attending
grad school. Shane is proud of his openly gay father and served as best man
when Todd married Matthew Witten. Todd and Matthew are one of the few gay
couples whose marriage is legally recognized in California.
Todd is currently raising a second family with Matthew. They fostered a brother
and sister with the intent to adopt. There were court challenges to overcome.
After the trial, the adoption was completed in six weeks, an unheard of feat. They
recently became parents to Zachary, who is seven, and Savannah, who is four.
What’s next? Getting his children through college, providing them with stability
and teaching them to be independent—a thing he says Shane is brilliant at.
Todd has made significant choices throughout his life. Looking back, he always
focuses on the positive and learns from experiences without judging. He has no
regrets save one: he would have liked to have gone into medicine.
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