Dirty Little Secrets Appetite for Seduction This is a ... - Shattered Glam

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... flirting for fitness page 44
A Better Body
Whether it is the hot guy on the treadmill, or the too–cute
outfit you just bought, it all comes together with you looking
and feeling better than before. Just getting out and going to
the gym to look around is beneficial, because getting there is
the first step.
Check out the tanning salon; a few minutes of light can
brighten the dreariest of days. Visit the snack bar and try an
extra healthy, yet oh–so tasty fruit smoothie or a specialty sandwich.
It easily becomes habit to climb in your car after work, drive
home and celebrate your long day by eating your dinner while
watching the marathon of addicting television shows. But it can
be so exciting to rebel against your own routine … even if you
are watching those same shows while on the treadmill at the
gym.
dirty little secrets page 47
green thumbs, there are plenty of other quick fixes to this social
faux pas that you may have readily available. Bad breath stems
from your tongue, so a good idea in the future is to have a
tongue scraper (sold at many locations, such as Target) on hand
and some good mouthwash. Using the scraper, scrape your
tongue gently. Afterwards, rinse with mouthwash. The best remedy
would be to spare the two minutes it would take to brush your
teeth hastily first. If none of these solutions are plausible given
how insanely late or lazy you are, there’s a relatively new product
that can prevent you from offending the rest of society with your
post–martini–night binge–breath. There are individually wrapped
finger toothbrushes that you slide on to your finger to brush over
your teeth for a fast clean feeling. They are completely disposable,
and cost about three dollars a pack at local retailers.
Secret # 5: Checking your final appearance in the mirror, you
notice you’re your complexion is a little too shiny; Billy Blanks–
shiny. It’s too late to wash your face with your favorite cleanser,
so what alternative is there?
Your solution: If you had paid attention to Mrs. Receding–
Hairline in biology class, you would have learned that skin is oily
from the sebaceous glands overproducing oil. Thank the deities
that modern civilization has brought us rice powder paper tissues.
The organic rice used in these double–sided sheets absorbs
oil while being gentle to the skin. It doesn’t mess up your make–
up and is completely hypoallergenic, unless you are allergic to
rice, which would be quite unfortunate. No worries, though, we
respect our rice–allergy–stricken femme–fetales. For you, there
are Boscia Blotting Linens. They are made from 100% natural
linen, and come in a pack perfect for your purse. After blotting
with either the rice tissues or linens, you’ll be pleasantly oil–free
and ready to take on whatever task you are heinously late in
fulfilling.
shattered
Not for the Jane Plain
shattered
Not for the Jane Plain
Amanda
tequila makes me naked
CHRISTINA LEVITZ
I
don’t consider myself a bitch. I’m a pretty nice
person all around. I do favors for people. I
listen to them when they have problems they
want to talk about. But sometimes, it’s like they
don’t have any common sense and I get a little
tired of hearing about it.
Take my friend Courtney. I love the girl to death,
but she can be pretty thick sometimes. She came
to me tonight in tears.
Apparently the girl just had her first one night
stand. I can relate. I’ve had a few of those myself.
I knew what was going through her head. So
I turned to her, “Oh honey, maybe sometimes you
want the relationship to work, but really… Do you
really think the guy is going to call if you do him
right away?”
“But he was sooo nice!” she protested.
“And you were wasted, weren’t you?”
“Well, I only drank five Red Bull–vodkas…” she
paused.
“Courtney! You know what those do to you,
when you drink… Shit happens.”
“I know, but I really liked him...” she trailed off.
“Let me tell you a story,” I responded.
“OK,” she sniffled.
“The first thing you have to know is your limit.
I’ve made some decisions when I’m drinking;
not saying that I meant for things to happen––but
here’s the thing; for me, tequila is a problem. Not
in the, ‘I want to drink it, it’s a wonderful thing,
let’s never stop’ way, but I’ve come to know, tequila
makes me naked. I drink it and I always wind
up naked. Maybe it’s the worm in it or something;
I just never make good decisions when I drink it.
“I used to be crazy in college. I was the girl that
you saw dancing on the table at parties. I wasn’t in
a sorority, because I thought those girls were sluts.
If that isn’t the crotch calling the armpit smelly, I
don’t know what is. Actually, I was a slut. And, I
learned from it, and made mistakes.”
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