Alumni Serious about Offering Freedom from Sexual Addiction

Blessed Relationships Bring an
Occupational Hazard
One of my greatest privileges and pleasures as a development officer at JBU is developing
relationships with JBU alumni and friends. One such friend is Dorothy Jelley, from Long
Beach, California. Dorothy grew up in poverty in England in the early 1900s. As a girl, she
was a domestic servant in England. During World War II, she joined the Women’s Royal Naval Service
(WRENS). After the war, she immigrated to Canada, then moved to the Washington, D.C., area before
ending up in Long Beach in the 1960s. She worked as a bookkeeper, as a real estate agent, and in
several other fields.
Dorothy did not attend JBU, but she loved JBU. She learned about the university through radio
broadcasts on once-JBU-owned station KGER in Long Beach. She became a supporter of JBU more
than 25 years ago, and because she included JBU in her will, it was my job to get to know her. But it
never felt like a job.
Dorothy was witty and articulate. She had a great
sense of humor. Her eyes twinkled when she would give
me a hard time about something or make a joke.
About two years ago, Dorothy contracted an aggressive
form of skin cancer. When the cancer spread, she decided
not to fight it.
Last October, I was there to celebrate Dorothy’s 93rd
birthday with her. She had been on hospice for a number
of months, and the hospice staff was there with gifts and
cards. She was upbeat and said it was one of the best
birthdays she’d ever had. Later that day, we talked about
her funeral arrangements, and she indicated that she
really didn’t care if she had a memorial service. She had
lived a good life and was happy to be going home to be
with the Lord.
Just two weeks later, I was able to visit Dorothy again.
We had a wonderful time. I asked her if she was sore,
and she looked at me with a twinkle in her eye and said,
“Do I snore” She thought that was quite funny. She was
weaker this time, was not getting out of bed at all, and slept most of the day.
by Paul Eldridge, J.D. ’88
Paul took his daughters, Isabelle (front) and Clarisse, to visit
Dorothy during one of her hospital stays.
On Tuesday evening, October 30, 2007, I received a call at home. Dorothy’s caregiver told me she
had passed away that afternoon. I was sad, but thankful to know that Dorothy was home in the arms
of Jesus.
A memorial service for Dorothy was held December 9, and I planned to be there. My first flight
was delayed, so when I arrived in Dallas/Fort Worth to change planes, I ran to the connecting gate but
found the door closed. The plane was still there at the gate, but they would not let me on. I ran through
the terminal to catch a different flight, but again, I ran up to a closed door at the gate. The plane hadn’t
left yet, but I was not allowed to board.
As I was running from gate to gate, I was frustrated and angry. And then it occurred to me that
Dorothy was in heaven. I imagined her looking down and smiling at me, saying, “Paul, it is okay. You
do not need to be all stressed out about this. I told you I
didn’t care if I had a service anyway.” And yet, I desperately
wanted to honor Dorothy and publicly recognize not only the
impact that she has had on JBU, but also the impact she had
on me personally. So I sat in a terminal in Dallas/Fort Worth
airport, and I cried. I cried for the loss of my friend, Dorothy,
and I cried for the loss of the opportunity to honor her at her
memorial service.
It has occurred to me that one of the career hazards I face
as a development officer is forming special relationships with
alumni and friends of the university, only to watch many of
them pass away. It hurts every time it happens, even when I
am expecting it to happen. One of the things about this job
that brings me the greatest joy also brings me the greatest
sadness and pain.
It happened again recently when we lost our friend Faye
Phillips. Faye was born in 1911 in Quay County, New Mexico
when it was a territory, before it became a state. She was the
oldest of eight children growing up on their family’s 500-acre
homestead. Life was hard in New Mexico at that time, and
only six of the children lived past their younger years. After
moving to Oklahoma and Georgia, Faye eventually settled in
Arkansas, where she was a homemaker and businesswoman.
She was a modern woman who, whenever you saw her, was
always elegant in both her dress and her demeanor.
In 1997, Faye visited JBU and attended a chapel service.
The theme was World Awareness. She was amazed to see
that JBU had such an international student population. Faye
wanted to leave a large portion of her estate to JBU to fund
a scholarship in honor of her first husband, Frank. Vice
President for Advancement Jim Krall had the opportunity to
get to know Faye as she was setting up her estate gift, and in
the process, he developed a close friendship with her. Faye
grew so fond of Jim and thought so highly of him that she
asked him to lead her memorial service when the time came.
She passed away in February, and Jim felt honored to fulfill
her request, paying tribute to this dear lady by leading her
service.
Faye will be remembered at JBU each year as funds are
distributed from her endowed scholarship to students whose
lives will be changed. Dorothy also will be remembered; she
left the majority of her estate to JBU, and a new endowed
scholarship has been established in her name. The gifts from
each of these ladies were matched with funds from the $20
Million Challenge, multiplying their impact.
Because of Dorothy and Faye, hundreds of thousands of
dollars will provide scholarships to students for generations to
come. We are grateful for these tremendous gifts, but I realize
that the students who receive the scholarships will miss the
opportunity to know these ladies as we have known them.
They will never see Dorothy’s sparkling eyes or experience
her sharp wit. They will never see Faye’s elegance. Still
they will experience the generosity of these women in a very
tangible way. ■
Join the
JBU
Prayer Network
Enlarge your territory for God by
participating in a unique new ministry
that can have a significant impact on JBU
and the Kingdom of God.
Sign up for the JBU Prayer Network and
join the many other alumni and friends
who are supporting the mission and the
people of JBU with prayer.
Our Purpose:
To create a team of JBU alumni and
friends who will uphold JBU on a regular
basis in serious prayer.
Your Commitment:
To pray for the JBU family to become
a strong witness for Christ. Each month
you will be e-mailed seven to ten prayer
requests related to the spiritual, emotional,
and intellectual pursuits of the students,
faculty, and staff.
How to Join:
Go online to www.jbualumni.com and
click on “e-Newsletter” in the left column.
Then click the JBU Prayer Network box,
complete the form and click “Submit.”
You will then begin receiving the prayer
requests each month during the school
year.
22 Brown Bulletin Summer 2008 Brown Bulletin Summer 2008 23