Helping-Young-People-Succeed

PERFORMANCE
Language, Science) that, if a child wasn’t good at those, it was so
easy for them to regard themselves as unintelligent…when, in fact,
they will have had intelligence in different areas to the core subjects.
10. Homework…don’t do it for them…do it with them! Doing it for
them doesn’t help them; it just saves the parent/guardian/helper
time. In fact, apply this principle to many things we could do for
young people rather than help guide them through activities for
themselves.
BE your best
11. Teach young people the Tommy Hafey rule…it’s not about being
‘the best’…it’s about being ‘your best’. Love that. Because being
‘your best’ is under our control. I often hear sales people and others
in business quoting their goals to be ‘the number one sales person
in the company/district’ or ‘the number one business in...’ That’s
ridiculous…we can’t control the behaviour nor performance of others.
Focus on that which you can control…your own behaviours. That’s a
most helpful lesson to teach young people; it’s also less stressful. Of
course the goals of ‘winning’, ‘being number one’, ‘being the best’
are important but they’re not behavioural and should not be the
focus. It’s more a matter of ‘do your best’ and the result is a success
in itself.
12. This is slightly related to the previous point. There has clearly
been a shift in recent years away from promoting (or even allowing)
competition for younger people, including in schools. It’s become more
about involvement (for want of a better phrase) than competition…more
difficult (or impossible) to ‘fail’ or ‘lose’…as long as there’s involvement
then that’s regarded as ‘winning’ (and, like at the carnival, ‘every player
wins a prize’). I don’t have a problem with that conceptually; makes
sense to encourage and reward participation in our young people.
The problem I do have with the approach is that the ‘real world’ kicks
in after school years and young people do compete for jobs, spots in
adult sports teams, even social standing. I suppose the rationale is that
they are older then and better equipped to handle the competition…
I’m not so sure of that. First, the switch from involvement to competition
is almost instantaneous; second, coping with competition (especially
when you don’t win!) requires practice. Maybe we’ve gone too far
‘the other way’ in the way reward involvement for younger people
One to ponder. And ‘losing’ can grow humility and empathy for those
others, for those times when we ‘win.’
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