Contents - NACoA
Contents - NACoA
Contents - NACoA
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<strong>Contents</strong><br />
A Message to Early Childhood Professionals -------------------------------------------------------------- 1<br />
Core Competencies ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 3<br />
Helping Children in Your Care -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4<br />
The “Seven Cs” --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11<br />
Children of Alcoholics: Important Facts------------------------------------------------------------------- 12<br />
Questions and Answers ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 19<br />
To Keep in Mind -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21<br />
Additional Resources -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 23<br />
This is the fifth in a series of Kits developed by the National Association for Children of Alcoholics for<br />
professionals who are interested in children and families hurt by alcoholism.<br />
The reproduction of this publication is allowed in the quantities desired.<br />
Recognition of the original source would be appreciated.
A Message to Early Childhood Professionals<br />
You are in a unique position to make a significant contribution in the lives of<br />
children with alcoholic parents. The many hours you spend caring for these children<br />
can have a profound effect on the quality of their lives—now, and in the future.<br />
The National Association for Children of Alcoholics (<strong>NACoA</strong>) has assembled this<br />
kit to help you learn more about the disease of alcoholism and its effects on children of<br />
alcoholic parents. We want you to have the opportunity to touch these young lives in the<br />
best way possible. This kit—the fifth in a series of publications for children of alcoholics<br />
and the professionals who work with them—contains resources others have found to be<br />
helpful. As you read these materials, keep these things in mind:<br />
Millions of Americans are problem<br />
drinkers or suffer from<br />
the disease of alcoholism. One<br />
in four children in the United<br />
States is growing up in a home<br />
where alcohol abuse or alcoholism<br />
is affecting their lives.<br />
Countless others have parents<br />
who are addicted to other drugs.<br />
Many research studies suggest<br />
that the children of alcohol- and<br />
other drug-dependent parents<br />
are at a great risk for problems<br />
later in life. Children of alcoholics<br />
grow up to become parents<br />
who, if not helped, often carry the<br />
sorrow and uncertainty of their<br />
own childhoods with them.<br />
Alcoholism is a family disease. It<br />
affects all children in an alcoholic<br />
home environment, but some of<br />
them are able to bounce back and<br />
learn to cope with life’s difficulties,<br />
especially if they are given a<br />
little help. Often that help must<br />
come from outside the family. As<br />
caregivers, we can help children<br />
to become more resilient.<br />
Learning about alcoholism and<br />
how it affects family members,<br />
and then discovering resources<br />
in your community to help families<br />
cope with alcohol-related<br />
problems, are good beginning<br />
steps. Armed with knowledge<br />
and information about alcoholism,<br />
and the resources with<br />
which to address it, you can help<br />
reduce the risks of future problems<br />
in children from alcoholic<br />
homes—and help reduce the<br />
confusion and fear they feel now.
While accurate, age-appropriate<br />
information and skill building<br />
help children of alcoholics immeasurably,<br />
perhaps the most<br />
important gift is the bonding<br />
and attachment children attain<br />
in healthy relationships<br />
with you, other caregivers, and<br />
children at your child care site.<br />
Children in alcoholic families<br />
develop a strong “Don’t Trust”<br />
habit because of broken promises,<br />
harsh words, and the threat<br />
of abuse. Silence and isolation<br />
can become their constant companions.<br />
Caregivers spend many hours<br />
with children and have the opportunity<br />
to build trust. As children<br />
learn to trust, they learn to<br />
feel good about who they are and<br />
what they can become. They develop<br />
the ability to make better<br />
decisions, which helps them to<br />
exercise control over their environment.<br />
While early childhood professionals will not ordinarily be a primary source of information<br />
for children about alcoholism, they need to be equipped with good information so<br />
that they can provide the proper support when necessary. Children build strengths and<br />
resilience as a result of the conscious modeling provided by a caring adult.<br />
The power of the caring relationship<br />
with you is tremendous.
Core Competencies<br />
For Involvement of Early Childhood Professionals in the Care of<br />
Children and Adolescents in Families Affected by Alcohol or<br />
Other Drug Abuse<br />
These competencies are presented as a guide to the core knowledge, attitudes,<br />
and skills that are essential to meeting the needs of children and youth affected<br />
by alcohol or drug abuse in families. Developed by a multi-disciplinary professional advisory<br />
group to the National Association for Children of Alcoholics (<strong>NACoA</strong>), they set forth<br />
a level for the child care professional’s involvement with children who grow up in homes<br />
where alcohol and other drugs are a problem.<br />
It is <strong>NACoA</strong>’s hope that organizations representing early childhood professionals<br />
will adopt these competencies, or competencies modeled from them. All child care providers<br />
should aspire to these competencies. Resources and programs should be made available<br />
for the necessary training to achieve these competencies.<br />
Be able to articulate a working definition of alcoholism and other drug dependencies<br />
without trying to diagnose this condition in others.<br />
Be aware of the behavioral signs presented by children in families affected by<br />
alcohol or other drug abuse.<br />
Be aware of the potential benefit to both the child and the family of timely and<br />
early intervention.<br />
Be familiar with community resources available for children and adolescents in<br />
families with substance abuse.<br />
Be able to recognize when to seek the advice of a supervisor when a child from a<br />
family with substance abuse has a need beyond your level of expertise.<br />
Be able to communicate an appropriate level of concern in sensitive situations<br />
and offer an appropriate level of support.<br />
Be able to notice and build upon the child’s strengths. Be aware of your routine<br />
behaviors that can assist the child through modeling, consistency, and the setting<br />
of safe boundaries.<br />
Be available to the child or adolescent, as needed, for ongoing care and support.
Helping Children in Your Care<br />
The Core Competencies in Action<br />
The core competencies give a general direction for our thinking about what skills<br />
are needed for early childhood professionals to be effective with children from<br />
alcoholic homes. In this section and throughout the rest of this booklet, you will learn<br />
practical suggestions that will help you put the core competencies into practice in real<br />
life. We have identified four ways in which a caregiver can help a child whose parent is<br />
an alcoholic:<br />
Be an effective listener and communicator.<br />
It is important to help children express their feelings and thereby deal with their<br />
fears and aspirations. One of the more unfortunate problems experienced by some<br />
children of alcoholics is that they have no one to talk with about their needs, fears, and<br />
hopes.<br />
Within appropriate limits, every caregiver can help children talk about what they<br />
like and dislike about their lives. However, it is important to know when assistance from<br />
other professionals is necessary. In this regard, each caregiver needs to have knowledge<br />
of his or her own competencies and limitations.<br />
Know your limitations<br />
Consider the policies and legal, ethical, and professional obligations established<br />
in your program setting, in addition to your own competencies, in deciding what you<br />
should—and should not—do with children. It is very important that caregivers seek assistance<br />
in areas where they are not authorized to function. Since you are not employed<br />
as a therapist, you should not try to act as one. If there is any doubt about the severity<br />
of a child’s personal or social problems, consult your program supervisor, who might<br />
refer the child to a counselor, your staff psychologist, or a local social<br />
worker who will gladly give their assistance.<br />
When talking with children in your care<br />
A valid concern for caregivers may be how the parents will<br />
react when they learn that their child has confided a family problem<br />
to someone outside the family. Will an irate alcoholic parent<br />
come to the center complaining that you have interfered in<br />
their family’s private business? If you limit your discussions<br />
with a child to their feelings and to an understanding of what<br />
alcoholism is, there probably will be no cause for parental
concern. Furthermore, if care is taken to avoid communicating that the child’s difficulties<br />
are related to his or her parent’s alcoholism, and if you direct attention to the child’s<br />
program and social performance, the parent is very likely to welcome your help.<br />
Since you do not diagnose alcoholism or problem drinking, it is unlikely that alcoholism<br />
will be a part of the discussion when you are talking to parents. Denial of<br />
drinking-related problems is essential to those alcoholic parents who want to continue<br />
drinking. The spouse of an alcoholic may also feel the need to refrain from talking<br />
about drinking-related difficulties. If the topic comes up, it may be best for you to<br />
remain silent on the subject of the parent’s drinking, and concentrate on steps to<br />
help the child cope.<br />
Perhaps your greatest contribution will be in the area of helping children to<br />
discover that their feelings are normal and that it is permissible to be confused<br />
and sometimes upset about one’s home environment. Exploring a child’s feelings<br />
with him or her can help you to obtain a better understanding of the child. More<br />
importantly, an exploration of feelings may allow the child to grow in self understanding.<br />
Encourage children to develop friendships and good social skills.<br />
Some children of alcoholics have difficulty relating to their peers and adults.<br />
Like all children, they need opportunities to participate in primary group activities.<br />
However, many children of alcoholics need help to do so. Early childhood<br />
professionals who lead extracurricular and community-based activities have many<br />
opportunities to assist in fostering quality relationships for boys and girls who<br />
have alcoholic parents. Like others, these children can acquire many benefits from<br />
after-school activities. However, for children of alcoholics, the more obvious benefits<br />
of after-school activities may be secondary to the benefits achieved through<br />
the friendships developed in the program. A child not only learns how to take part<br />
in a sport, publish a newspaper, etc., but also gains a sense of belonging and a role<br />
that he or she values.<br />
Children of alcoholics may take on adult roles and responsibilities in their<br />
families—such as caring for younger children or managing housework—and therefore<br />
they can benefit from situations where there is an adult in<br />
charge. They may also benefit when an adult is supervising<br />
their younger siblings.<br />
You can play a vital role in assisting these<br />
children by getting them involved in other activities.<br />
However, getting children of alcoholics to participate<br />
in group activities may be difficult. Many such<br />
children are not eager to join activity groups. This<br />
is particularly true if they feel that an after-school
activity is just another responsibility to endure, rather than a vehicle by which they can<br />
reduce the strain of existing responsibilities. Furthermore, when a child’s feelings of<br />
self-worth are minimal, he or she may feel incapable of contributing anything to a group<br />
and may have to be persuaded that his or her participation is needed.<br />
Involvement in after-school activities can also reduce the time the child of an alcoholic<br />
parent spends in uncomfortable situations. This is a desirable result in itself. Extracurricular<br />
activities also provide more time and opportunities for children to interact<br />
with you and other potential adult role models. In addition, some children may feel that<br />
a caregiver is more approachable than a teacher within a classroom, or that it is more<br />
permissible to discuss personal, “after-school” matters after school than during school<br />
hours.<br />
Carefully observe the child and the situation.<br />
When you are with children, you may observe many details that will give you clues<br />
about their peer relationships, academic interests, achievements, their need to talk to<br />
you or some other trusted adult about their problems, their willingness to share attitudes<br />
and confidences, and their evaluations of their home situation. This last concern<br />
may be reflected more in how they act than in what they say.<br />
When you are working with children, you should be sensitive to a number of physical<br />
and emotional symptoms which may reflect serious home problems. Because of your<br />
training and consistent contact with children, you may be able to detect subtle details<br />
of a child’s appearance beyond the obvious bruises that might suggest parental abuse or<br />
neglect. (If child abuse or neglect is suspected, the law in all 50 states requires immediate<br />
referral of the child in question to an appropriate child protection agency.)<br />
Besides obvious physical abuse and neglect, caregivers will want to take into account<br />
children who exhibit periods of excessive or constant fatigue or strain, frequent headaches<br />
or stomachaches, high levels of confusion or anxiety, fluctuating moods throughout<br />
the week, or being compulsively responsible. You may notice particularly the times<br />
when children show these symptoms. These symptoms may be more obvious on certain<br />
days than others. Recurrent symptoms may reveal a pattern—and for children of alcoholic<br />
parents, these patterns are likely to reflect the occurrence<br />
of conflict within the home. For example, if an alcoholic parent<br />
is a chronic weekend drinker, every Monday the child may be<br />
listless or fall asleep. On Tuesdays through Thursdays the child<br />
may appear to be somewhat energetic, and on Friday he or she<br />
may exhibit high levels of tension, possibly dreading the coming<br />
weekend. Of course, different patterns can occur. In these<br />
situations, collaborating with professional staff for the benefit<br />
of these children could be very helpful. If your program<br />
offers workshops on children of alcoholic parents taught by
trained workers in alcoholism, they will be able to alert you to other symptoms produced<br />
by living in a family with alcoholism.<br />
It is important that you remain alert to the needs of children. If you are accurate in<br />
your observations, you can be of considerable help to them. Your observations may allow<br />
you opportunities to inform parents and colleagues about what they can do to help children,<br />
and when referral to professional counselors may be needed.<br />
Take steps to notice and reinforce a child’s strengths.<br />
While it is important to understand and address the problems faced by children<br />
with alcoholism in their families, never forget the strengths and potential<br />
for resilience that are also characteristic of these children. Many of them develop<br />
ingenious strategies for emotional and physical survival in the face of<br />
overwhelming circumstances. Against all odds, these children find ways to<br />
help themselves, their siblings, and playmates maintain a sense of humor,<br />
a sense of hope, and a sense of purpose in their lives. Notice their acts<br />
of kindness and helpfulness to the other children in your group. Smile<br />
when their humor puts things in perspective and makes the atmosphere<br />
of the day easier and lighter. Give them opportunities to help the<br />
younger ones or support the outcast child. Identify and acknowledge<br />
the acts of generosity and caring they show to others.<br />
The most powerful method for survival available to a<br />
troubled child is to find a caring adult to take an interest in<br />
them. Remember: that adult may be you. Notice and support<br />
the child’s efforts to relate to you, to “be like” you,<br />
and to seek you out for attention. This may be the most<br />
important thing to understand.
If a Child Comes to You for Help,<br />
What Should You Do?<br />
What can I do—and what shouldn’t I do?<br />
The following list of “do’s and don’ts” may be helpful if a child comes to you looking<br />
for help.<br />
1. DO find out who the helping professionals are in your community.<br />
Knowing which organizations have resources to help children will make<br />
it easier when a child comes to you.<br />
2. DO maintain a close working relationship with appropriate helping<br />
professionals that you can turn to when a child comes to you for help.<br />
3. DO follow through if the child asks for help. You may be the only<br />
person the child has approached. Courses of action you might choose<br />
include the following:<br />
· Speak with your supervisor about your concerns.<br />
· If the child’s school has educational support groups for children from<br />
troubled families, assist the school staff responsible for the program<br />
in referring the child to a group.<br />
· Discuss the value of group participation with the child’s parent when<br />
appropriate.<br />
· Encourage the parent to refer the child or speak to an appropriate<br />
professional.<br />
4. DO maintain resources and pamphlets on alcohol-related problems<br />
that have been written for children. Many of these are available at low<br />
or no cost from the National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information,<br />
Al-Anon/Alateen, and the National Association for Children of<br />
Alcoholics.<br />
5. DO be aware that children of alcoholics may be threatened by displays<br />
of affection, especially physical contact.<br />
6. DO follow your center’s established procedures if a parent comes to<br />
pick up their child and exhibits behaviors that suggest that they are<br />
intoxicated.
7. DO be sensitive to cultural differences. If the child comes to you from<br />
a different culture, it may be useful to explore the child’s culture to understand<br />
how family structure, values, customs and beliefs may affect<br />
the child’s situation at home.<br />
8. DON’T act embarrassed or uncomfortable when the child asks you for<br />
help. It may be discouraging for the child, and it may increase his or<br />
her sense of isolation and hopelessness.<br />
9. DON’T criticize the child’s alcoholic parent or be overly sympathetic.<br />
The child may gain the greatest benefit just by having you listen.<br />
10. DON’T “get in over your head.” Unless you are a certified psychologist,<br />
social worker, counselor, or health care professional, you are not<br />
prepared to take responsibility for the many difficult issues that may<br />
arise in a counseling situation.<br />
11. DON’T disclose your own personal information to a child, even if you<br />
think it will help. This is often overwhelming to a child and is not appropriate.<br />
12. DON’T share the child’s problems with others who do not have to<br />
know. This is not only important in terms of building trust, but it also<br />
protects the child.<br />
13. DON’T make plans with the child if you can’t follow through. Stability<br />
and consistency in relationships are necessary if the child is to develop<br />
trust.<br />
What helpful messages can I give a child from an alcoholic family?<br />
You can tell the child the following things:<br />
Children<br />
have skills and<br />
strengths which<br />
can help them<br />
when they are<br />
upset.<br />
Get involved<br />
in doing enjoyable things<br />
at school or near home, like the<br />
school band, softball, scouting, or<br />
others. Joining in these types of activities<br />
can help you focus less on the<br />
problems at home. And you could also<br />
learn new things about yourself<br />
and about how other people<br />
live their lives.<br />
Talking<br />
about worries<br />
at home is not<br />
being mean to<br />
your family.<br />
Sharing your<br />
feelings with<br />
someone you<br />
trust can<br />
help you feel<br />
less alone.
When you live<br />
with parents who drink<br />
too much, you may feel<br />
love and hate at the same<br />
time. Having two different<br />
feelings at the same<br />
time is the way many<br />
kids feel about alcoholic<br />
parents.<br />
Remember to<br />
have fun! Sometimes<br />
children with alcoholic<br />
families worry so much<br />
that they forget how to be<br />
“just a kid.” Find a way<br />
to let yourself<br />
have fun.<br />
Develop<br />
a safe place to<br />
call or go when<br />
things are difficult<br />
at<br />
home.<br />
DON’T ride in a car when<br />
the driver has been drinking if you can<br />
avoid it. If you must get in a car with a<br />
drinking driver, sit in the back seat in the<br />
middle. Put on your safety belt, and try<br />
to stay calm and quiet.<br />
Most children feel confused<br />
when there is trouble like alcoholism.<br />
If you feel confused at times, talk to an<br />
adult you can trust.<br />
Because your<br />
parent is an alcoholic<br />
doesn’t mean you will be.<br />
Most children of alcoholics do<br />
not become alcoholic themselves.<br />
Many decide that the best way to<br />
protect themselves from this disease<br />
is not to drink at all. Others<br />
decide to wait until they<br />
are over the age of 21 to evaluate<br />
whether it is safe for them to<br />
use alcohol. Both of these<br />
decisions can protect<br />
against becoming<br />
alcoholic.<br />
You have no control over<br />
someone’s drinking. You didn’t make the problem start, and<br />
you can’t make it stop. What your alcoholic parent does is not<br />
your responsibility or your fault.<br />
When in doubt, you can always remember to teach the “Seven Cs”<br />
<strong>NACoA</strong> has developed a summary of messages to help early childhood professionals<br />
working with children of alcoholics communicate the main themes these children need<br />
to understand. These basic messages—the “Seven Cs”—are provided on the following<br />
page.<br />
10
The “Seven Cs”<br />
You didn’t CAUSE it<br />
You can’t CURE it<br />
You can’t CONTROL it<br />
You can help take CARE of yourself<br />
By COMMUNICATING your feelings,<br />
Making healthy CHOICES, and<br />
CELEBRATING being yourself<br />
11
Children of Alcoholics:<br />
Important Facts<br />
Alcoholism affects the entire family.<br />
Living with a non-recovering alcoholic can contribute to stress<br />
for all members of a family. Each member may be affected differently.<br />
Not all alcoholic families experience or react to this<br />
stress in the same way. The level of dysfunction or resiliency of<br />
the non-alcoholic spouse is a key factor in the effects of problems<br />
impacting children.<br />
Children raised in alcoholic families have different life experiences<br />
than children raised in non-alcoholic families. Children<br />
raised in other types of dysfunctional families may have similar<br />
developmental losses and stressors as children raised in alcoholic<br />
families.<br />
Children living with a non-recovering alcoholic score lower on<br />
measures of family cohesion, intellectual-cultural orientation,<br />
active-recreational orientation, and independence. They also<br />
usually experience higher levels of conflict within the family.<br />
Many children of alcoholics experience other family members as<br />
distant and non-communicative.<br />
Children of alcoholics may be hampered by their inability to<br />
grow in developmentally healthy ways.<br />
Many people report being exposed to alcoholism in their families.<br />
Seventy-six million Americans, about 43 percent of the U.S. adult population, have<br />
been exposed to alcoholism in the family.<br />
Almost one in five adult Americans (18 percent) lived with an alcoholic while<br />
growing up.<br />
Roughly one in eight American adult drinkers is alcoholic or experiences problems<br />
due to the use of alcohol. The cost to society is estimated at in excess of $166 billion<br />
each year.<br />
There are an estimated 19 million children under the age of 18 in the United<br />
States who live with alcohol abuse or alcoholism in their homes.<br />
12
There is strong, scientific evidence that alcoholism tends to run in families.<br />
Children of alcoholics are more at risk for alcoholism and<br />
other drug abuse than children of non-alcoholics.<br />
Children of alcoholics are four times more likely than other children to develop<br />
alcoholism.<br />
Genetic factors play a major role in the development of alcoholism. There is<br />
an expanding base of literature which strongly supports a heritable basis for<br />
alcoholism and a range of family influences that may direct the development of<br />
children of alcoholics.<br />
Children’s perceptions of parental drinking quantity and circumstances appear<br />
to influence their own drinking frequency.<br />
Children’s alcohol expectancies reflect recognition of alcohol-related norms and a<br />
cognizance of parental drinking patterns by a very early age.<br />
Alcohol expectancies appear to be one of the mechanisms explaining the relationship<br />
between paternal alcoholism and heavy drinking among offspring during<br />
college.<br />
Parental alcoholism and other drug dependencies have an impact upon children’s<br />
early learning about alcohol and other drugs.<br />
Family interaction patterns also may influence the child’s risk for alcohol abuse.<br />
It has been found that families with an alcoholic parent displayed more negative<br />
family interaction during problem-solving discussions than in non-alcoholic families.<br />
Almost one-third of any sample of alcoholics has at least one parent who also was,<br />
or is, an alcoholic.<br />
Children of alcoholics are more likely than other children to marry into families in<br />
which alcoholism is prevalent.<br />
Parental alcoholism influences adolescent substance use through several different<br />
pathways, including stress, negative affect, and decreased parental monitoring.<br />
Negative affect and impaired parental monitoring are associated with adolescents’<br />
joining in a peer network that supports drug-use behavior.<br />
After drinking alcohol, sons of alcoholics experience more of the physiological<br />
changes associated with pleasurable effects compared with sons of non-alcoholics,<br />
although only immediately after drinking.<br />
13
Alcoholism usually has strong negative effects on marital relationships.<br />
Separated and divorced men and women were three times as likely as married<br />
men and women to say they had been married to an alcoholic or problem drinker.<br />
Among adults under age 46, almost two-thirds of separated and divorced women<br />
and almost half of separated or divorced men have been exposed to alcoholism in<br />
the family at some time.<br />
Alcohol is associated with a substantial proportion of human violence, and<br />
perpetrators are often under the influence of alcohol.<br />
Alcohol is a key factor in 68 percent of manslaughters, 62 percent of assaults, 54<br />
percent of murders and attempted murders, 48 percent of robberies, and 44 percent<br />
of burglaries.<br />
Studies of family violence frequently document high rates of alcohol and other<br />
drug involvement.<br />
Children of alcoholics may be more likely to be the targets of physical abuse and<br />
to witness family violence.<br />
Compared with non-alcoholic families, alcoholic families demonstrate poorer<br />
problem-solving abilities, both among the parents and within the family as a<br />
whole. These poor communication and problem-solving skills may be mechanisms<br />
through which lack of cohesion and increased conflict develop and escalate in alcoholic<br />
families.<br />
Children of alcoholics are more at risk for disruptive behavioral problems and are<br />
more likely than others to be sensation-seeking, aggressive, and impulsive.<br />
Based on clinical observations and preliminary research, a relationship between<br />
parental alcoholism and child abuse is indicated in<br />
a large proportion of child abuse cases.<br />
A significant number of children in this country are being raised by addicted parents.<br />
With more than 1 million children confirmed each year as victims of child<br />
abuse and neglect by state child protective service agencies, state welfare records<br />
have indicated that substance abuse is one of the top two problems exhibited by<br />
families in 81 percent of the reported cases.<br />
Studies suggest an increased prevalence of alcoholism among parents who<br />
abuse children.<br />
14
Existing research suggests alcoholism is more strongly related to child abuse than<br />
are other disorders, such as parental depression.<br />
Although several studies report very high rates of alcoholism among the parents<br />
of incest victims, much additional research is needed in this area.<br />
Children of alcoholics exhibit symptoms of depression and<br />
anxiety more than children of non-alcoholics.<br />
In general, children of alcoholics appear to have lower self-esteem than others in<br />
childhood, adolescence and young adulthood.<br />
Children of alcoholics exhibit elevated rates of psychopathology. Anxiety, depression,<br />
and externalizing behavior disorders are more common among children of<br />
alcoholics than among children of non-alcoholics.<br />
Young children of alcoholics often show symptoms of depression and anxiety such<br />
as crying, bed wetting, not having friends, being afraid to go to school, or having<br />
nightmares. Older youth may stay in their rooms for long periods of time and not<br />
relate to other children, claiming they “have no one to talk to.” Teens may show<br />
depressive symptoms by being perfectionistic in their endeavors, hoarding, staying<br />
by themselves, and being excessively self-conscious. Teenage children of alcoholics<br />
may begin to develop phobias.<br />
Children of alcoholics experience greater physical and<br />
mental health problems and higher health care costs than<br />
children from non-alcoholic families.<br />
Inpatient admission rates for substance abuse are triple that of other children.<br />
Inpatient admission rates for mental disorders are almost double that of other<br />
children.<br />
Injuries are more than one and one-half times greater than those of other children.<br />
The rate of total health care costs for children of alcoholics is 32 percent greater<br />
than children from non-alcoholic families.<br />
Children of alcoholics score lower on tests measuring verbal ability.<br />
Children of alcoholics tend to score lower on tests that measure cognitive and ver-<br />
15
al skills. Their ability to express themselves may be impaired, which can impede<br />
their school performance, peer relationships, ability to develop and sustain intimate<br />
relationships, and hamper performance on job interviews.<br />
Low verbal scores, however, should not imply that children of alcoholics are intellectually<br />
impaired.<br />
Children of alcoholics often have difficulties in school.<br />
Children of alcoholics often believe that they will be failures even if they do well<br />
academically. They often do not view themselves as successful.<br />
Children of alcoholics are more likely to be raised by parents with poorer cognitive<br />
abilities and in an environment lacking stimulation. A lack of stimulation in the<br />
rearing environment may account in part for the pattern of failure found in children<br />
of alcoholics compared with other children.<br />
Preschool-aged children of alcoholics exhibited poorer language and reasoning<br />
skills than did other children, and poorer performance among the children of alcoholics<br />
was predicted by the lower quality of stimulation present in the home.<br />
Children of alcoholics are more likely to be truant, drop<br />
out of school, repeat grades, or be referred to a school<br />
counselor or psychologist. This may have little to do<br />
with academic ability; rather, children of alcoholics may<br />
have difficulty bonding with teachers and other students<br />
at school; they may experience anxiety related to performance;<br />
or they may be afraid of failure. The actual<br />
reasons have yet to be determined.<br />
There is an increasing body of scientific evidence indicating<br />
that risk for later problems—and even alcoholic outcomes—is<br />
detectable early in the life course and, in some<br />
instances, before school entry.<br />
Children of alcoholics have greater difficulty with abstraction and<br />
conceptual reasoning.<br />
Abstraction and conceptual reasoning play an important role in<br />
problem solving, whether the problems are academic or are situation-related<br />
to the problems of life. Therefore, children of alcoholics<br />
might require very concrete explanations and instructions.<br />
16
Children of alcoholics may benefit from adult efforts which help them to:<br />
Develop autonomy and independence.<br />
Develop a strong social orientation and social skills.<br />
Engage in acts of “required helpfulness.”<br />
Develop a close bond with a caregiver.<br />
Cope successfully with emotionally hazardous experiences.<br />
Perceive their experiences constructively, even if those experiences cause pain or<br />
suffering; and gain, early in life, other people’s positive attention.<br />
Develop day-to-day coping strategies.<br />
Children can be protected from many problems associated with<br />
growing up in an alcoholic family.<br />
If healthy family rituals or traditions (such as vacations, mealtimes,<br />
or holidays) are highly valued and maintained; if the active<br />
alcoholic is confronted with his or her problem; if there are<br />
consistent significant others in the life of the child or children;<br />
and if there is moderate to high religious observance—then<br />
children can be protected from many of the consequences<br />
of parental alcoholism.<br />
Maternal alcohol consumption during any time of pregnancy can cause<br />
alcohol-related birth defects or alcohol-related neurological deficits.<br />
The rate of drinking during pregnancy appears to be increasing.<br />
Prenatal alcohol effects have been detected at moderate levels of alcohol consumption<br />
by non-alcoholic women. Even though a mother is not an alcoholic, her child<br />
may not be spared the effects of prenatal alcohol exposure.<br />
Cognitive performance is less affected by alcohol exposure in infants and children<br />
whose mothers stopped drinking in early pregnancy, despite the mothers’ resumption<br />
of alcohol use after giving birth.<br />
One analysis of six-year-olds, with demonstrated effects of second-trimester alcohol<br />
exposure, had lower academic achievement and problems with reading, spelling,<br />
and mathematical skills.<br />
17
Approximately 6 percent of the offspring of alcoholic women have fetal alcohol<br />
syndrome (FAS); the FAS risk for offspring born after an FAS sibling is as high as<br />
70 percent.<br />
Those diagnosed as having fetal alcohol syndrome had IQ scores ranging from 20<br />
to 105, with a mean of 68. Subjects also demonstrated poor concentration and attention.<br />
People with fetal alcohol syndrome demonstrate growth deficits, morphologic<br />
abnormalities, mental retardation, and behavioral difficulties. Secondary effects<br />
of FAS among adolescents and adults include mental health problems, disrupted<br />
schooling (dropping out or being suspended or expelled), trouble with the law,<br />
dependent living as an adult, and problems with employment.<br />
Citations to reference sources for these facts are available from the National Association<br />
for Children of Alcoholics (www.nacoa.org).<br />
18
Questions and Answers<br />
About Alcohol Problems<br />
What is alcoholism?<br />
Alcoholism is a disease. People who have the disease have lost control<br />
over their drinking and are not able to stop without help. They also lose<br />
control over how they act when they are drunk.<br />
How does alcoholism start?<br />
Doctors don’t know all the reasons why people become alcoholics.<br />
Some start out drinking a little bit and end up hooked on alcohol. A person<br />
might begin drinking to forget problems or to calm nerves, but then ends<br />
up needing alcohol to feel normal. Once a person loses control over drinking,<br />
he or she needs help to stop drinking.<br />
If the alcoholic is sick, why doesn’t he or she just go to the doctor?<br />
At first, the alcoholic is not aware that he or she is ill. Even when the<br />
alcoholic becomes aware that something is wrong, he or she may not believe<br />
that alcohol is the problem. They might keep blaming things on other<br />
people, or might blame their job, or the house, or whatever. But, really, it’s<br />
the alcohol that’s the biggest problem.<br />
How can I identify a typical alcoholic among the parents of the<br />
children in my program?<br />
You can’t. There is no such person as the average alcoholic. Alcoholics<br />
can be young, old, rich, poor, male, or female. Sometimes the condition is<br />
not noticeable to people outside the family until the person is into advanced<br />
stages of the disease.<br />
19
What is the cure for alcoholism?<br />
There is no cure for alcoholism except stopping the disease process<br />
by stopping the drinking. People with alcoholism who have completely<br />
stopped drinking are called “recovering alcoholics.” Recovering alcoholics<br />
can lead healthy, happy, productive lives.<br />
Can family members make an alcoholic stop drinking?<br />
No. It is important to know that an alcoholic needs help to stop<br />
drinking, but no one can be forced to accept the help, no matter how<br />
hard you try or what you do. It is also important to know that family<br />
members by themselves cannot provide the help that an alcoholic needs.<br />
An alcoholic needs the help of people trained to treat the disease.<br />
How many children in the United States have at least one alcoholic parent?<br />
One in four children in our country is growing up with alcoholism or<br />
alcohol abuse in the home. Countless others are hurt by parental use<br />
of other drugs. There are probably a few of those children in your early<br />
childhood education program or group right now. And remember, some<br />
adults grew up with alcoholic parents, too.<br />
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To Keep in Mind<br />
What about other drugs besides alcohol?<br />
This booklet focuses on the issues impacting children who live in homes<br />
with an alcoholic parent, parents, or primary caregiver. Many of the behaviors<br />
and dynamics exhibited by these young people are also exhibited by<br />
children living with parents who abuse, and are addicted to, other drugs.<br />
Please feel free to modify language in the booklet to best address the<br />
needs of the young people you are serving.<br />
What if I am an adult child of an alcoholic?<br />
Like all human services professionals, early childhood professionals<br />
have their share of adult children of alcoholics among their ranks. If you<br />
are willing to learn about the family dynamics of alcoholism in the light of<br />
your own history, you may be able to help yourself as well as the children in<br />
your child care center. Finding good information and support for your own<br />
issues is recommended.<br />
Our early childhood education program sounds different<br />
from the way child care is presented in this booklet.<br />
The authors of this booklet wish to acknowledge that early childhood<br />
programs are provided by many diverse groups and take place in many different<br />
settings, including schools, churches, private homes, and other settings<br />
in the community. There is a wide variety of training and professional<br />
support services available to early childhood educators in various settings.<br />
Every effort was made to present material that is relevant to the needs of<br />
this wide audience. If this booklet has neglected an issue that is specific to<br />
your situation, please feel free to request more information from the National<br />
Association for Children of Alcoholics (see the “Additional Resources<br />
” section for contact information).<br />
21
How can I help infants and very young children<br />
who come from alcoholic families?<br />
The age ranges of children who receive child care and the specific<br />
needs of each age range are vast. This booklet focuses primarily on children<br />
who are old enough to use language. While the principles presented<br />
here are intended to apply to caregivers for children in all age ranges,<br />
specific presentation of behavioral signs of distress for infants and very<br />
young children require consultation from a professional with expertise<br />
in early child development.<br />
What do I do when an intoxicated parent comes to pick up a child?<br />
The laws in every state differ about detaining a child; follow the<br />
guidance of your supervisor and your state licensing agency. It is an<br />
early childhood professional’s responsibility to know the procedure.<br />
Review your agency’s existing policy and procedures for such incidents<br />
with your supervisor. Help the child to keep calm.<br />
22
Additional Resources<br />
Books and videos for children and adults<br />
For young children:<br />
Al-Anon Family Groups. Courage To Be Me. Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters,<br />
Virginia Beach, VA, 1996.<br />
Al-Anon Family Groups. What’s “Drunk,” Mama? Al-Anon Family Group<br />
Headquarters, Virginia Beach, VA, 1977.<br />
Black, Claudia. My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has a Disease. (Revised) MAC<br />
Publishing, Bainbridge Island, WA, 1996.<br />
Brown, Cathey, Elizabeth LaPorte, and Jerry Moe. Kids’ Power Too! Words<br />
To Grow By. Imagin Works, Dallas, TX, 1996.<br />
Krull, Kenny, Kevin, and Helen. Sometimes My Mom Drinks Too Much.<br />
Raintree Children’s Books, Milwaukee, WI, 1980.<br />
Mercury, Catherine. Think of Wind. One Big Press, Rochester, NY, 1996.<br />
For adolescents:<br />
Brooks, Cathleen. The Secret Everyone Knows. Hazelden Educational Materials,<br />
Center City, MN, 1981.<br />
Seixas, Judith. Living With a Parent Who Drinks Too Much. Greenwillow<br />
Books, New York, NY, 1979.<br />
23
For adults:<br />
Black, Claudia. It Will Never Happen to Me. MAC Publishing, Bainbridge<br />
Island, WA, 2001.<br />
Video resources:<br />
National Association for Children of Alcholics (<strong>NACoA</strong>). Poor Jennifer,<br />
She’s Always Losing Her Hat. Overview of issues of parental alcoholism.<br />
1991. Available through the National Clearinghouse<br />
for Alcohol and Drug Information – 1-800-729-6686. Cost: $6.50;<br />
includes video user’s guide.<br />
<strong>NACoA</strong>. You’re Not Alone. Video for children from alcoholic families<br />
about support groups. 1998. Available through <strong>NACoA</strong> – 1-888-55-<br />
4COAS. Cost: $39.00; includes video guide.<br />
<strong>NACoA</strong>. End Broken Promises, Mend Broken Hearts. Video for educators,<br />
early childhood professionals, faith community leaders, and<br />
other youth-serving organizations on support groups for children<br />
from alcoholic and addicted homes. 1998. Available through NA-<br />
CoA<br />
1-888-55-4COAS. Cost: $79.00; includes video guide.<br />
Purchase You’re Not Alone and End Broken Promises, Mend Broken<br />
Hearts together for $98.<br />
24
Organizations with additional resources and information<br />
National Association for<br />
Children of Alcoholics (<strong>NACoA</strong>)<br />
11426 Rockville Pike, Suite 301<br />
Rockville, MD 20852<br />
1-888-55-4COAS<br />
Fax: 301-468-0987<br />
www.nacoa.org<br />
<strong>NACoA</strong> is the membership and affiliate organization that advocates for children<br />
with alcoholic or other drug addicted parents, the youth who are at highest risk<br />
for substance abuse and child abuse. Services include a bi-monthly newsletter, videos,<br />
books, and other educational training tools for therapists, educators, parents, clergy and<br />
other youth-serving adults.<br />
SAMHSA’s National Clearinghouse for<br />
Alcohol and Drug Information<br />
P.O. Box 2345<br />
Rockville, MD 20847<br />
800-729-6686<br />
301-468-2600<br />
Fax: 301-468-6433<br />
www.health.org<br />
The National Clearinghouse for Alcohol and Drug Information (a program of the<br />
U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration) is the nation’s premier<br />
supplier of relevant materials covering the entire gamut of alcohol- and drug-related<br />
issues. Its Web site has an extensive section for young people and for those in positions<br />
to help them. Many materials are free and can be ordered through an 800 number<br />
or over the Internet.<br />
National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, Inc. (NCADD)<br />
22 Cortland Street, Suite 801<br />
New York, NY 10007<br />
212-269-7797<br />
Fax: 212-269-7510<br />
www.ncadd.org<br />
NCADD fights the stigma and the disease of alcoholism and other drug addiction and<br />
has 100 affiliates throughout the country.<br />
25
Community Anti-Drug Coalitions of America (CADCA)<br />
625 Slaters Lane, Suite 300<br />
Alexandria, VA 22314<br />
1-800-54-CADCA<br />
Fax: 703-706-0565<br />
www.cadca.org<br />
CADCA has a membership of 5000 anti-drug coalitions, each working to<br />
make their community safe, healthy, and drug-free. Contact CADCA to connect<br />
with a coalition in a community near you.<br />
Organizations providing help for families with alcohol problems<br />
Addresses for national offices of the following organizations are provided to<br />
help you find a local affiliate group near you. Many local groups can be found<br />
through your telephone directory.<br />
Al-Anon<br />
Family Group Headquarters<br />
1600 Corporate Landing Parkway<br />
Virginia Beach, VA 23462<br />
757-563-1600<br />
1-888-425-2666 (Meeting Information)<br />
www.al-anon.org<br />
Al-Anon is an organization for spouses and other relatives and friends<br />
of alcoholics. The Al-Anon groups help families and friends cope with the<br />
problems that result from another’s drinking, and help foster understanding<br />
of the alcoholic through sharing experiences. Local groups are listed in your<br />
telephone directory under “Al-Anon Family Groups.” Al-Anon Family Group<br />
Headquarters can assist you in finding a nearby group meeting.<br />
26
Alateen<br />
c/o Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters<br />
1600 Corporate Landing Parkway<br />
Virginia Beach, VA 23454<br />
1-888-425-2666<br />
www.alateen.org<br />
Alateen, a part of Al-Anon, is for young people whose lives have been<br />
affected by the alcoholism of a family member or close friend. Members of<br />
Alateen fellowships help each other by sharing their experiences and their<br />
strength. Alateen is listed in some telephone directories, or information may<br />
be obtained by contacting local Al-Anon groups. If you are having trouble<br />
locating an Alateen group near you, contact Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters<br />
at the address listed above.<br />
Alcoholics Anonymous (AA)<br />
General Service Office<br />
P.O. Box 459<br />
Grand Central Station<br />
New York, NY 10163<br />
(212) 686-1100<br />
www.aa.org<br />
Alcoholics Anonymous is a voluntary fellowship open to anyone who wants<br />
to achieve and maintain sobriety and is an important adjunct to many treatment<br />
programs. The fellowship was founded in 1935 by two individuals in an effort<br />
to help others who suffer from the disease of alcoholism. AA is the oldest of the<br />
organizations designed to help alcoholics help themselves. It is estimated that<br />
there are more than 2 million members in local AA groups worldwide. For further<br />
information, look under “Alcoholics Anonymous” in your telephone directory.<br />
The Alcoholics Anonymous General Service Office can help in locating a<br />
nearby group meeting.<br />
27
28<br />
Notes