Vol. 5, No. 4 - Psychiatric Survivor Archives of Toronto

which caused muscle tremors. But, I am sure the psychiatric labels are still
on my record.
Soon after I left the hospital, I went to a neurosurgeon for the pain in
my back and throughout my body. He indicated he could operate but
it was caused by the tardive dyskinesia. The pain was caused by a buildup
of lactic acid. The pain is still with me - in my jaw, my neck, down my
back and in my feet. It's especially bad when I'm lying down. It's related
to the dyskinesia. Tardive Dyskinesia - you can see it in my whole body.
It's in my face, it can go down my nose, in my temples, behind the ears,
my neck - but the worst pain is in my ankle - a very quick stabbing pain.
I've also had lockjaw as a result of the dyskinesia. My jaw will clench for
about five minutes and I just scream with the pain. It's diminishing, but my
jaw feels very stiff. I haven't got a tooth in my mouth now as a direct
result of this. My jaw twisted sideways and my dentures pressed against
the teeth I had. I've lost about eight teeth in the last year. My oral surgeon
was in touch with my neurologist and told him "There's no doubt in my
mind whatsoever this is caused by the dyskinesia, about which I can do
nothing."
Most people are very kind. The people I see regularly couldn't have
been kinder. But the children - they stare, they stare, and you feel like
crawling in a corner. I still wake up each morning so nauseated. My face is
shrivelled up and my eyes are almost swollen shut during my first hour or
so when I awake. I was told by my family physician that this is all drug
reaction and that major tranquillizers can take up to five years to leave
your system ... or at least the side effects.
I take no medication now.
I think an organization like ON OUR OWN was all I ever needed. Take
your experience of depression and use it to help other people. Walking in
that person's moccasins for a day gives you the ability to turn your experience
outward in a productive, joyful, positive way. That's all that I needed
- a place where you could express yourself in the way you are best suited.
Do your own thing, do it your own way. I want to express my anger in
such a way that it will benefit someone else.
I was sixty when I went into the hospital, and I've never had any kind
of psychiatric problem before or since. It's a lesson in helplessness but I've
helped myself. As my doctor said: "We're winning, Jean - we're winning!"
THE
MAD
MARKET
isa
non-profit store operated by On Our Own,
a self-help group of Ex-psychiatric inmates.
D We offer items for sale at some of the cheapest prices in town!
D Donations of used goods are welcome_
-20% Discount for members -Clothes, furniture, books,
of On OurOwn and similar appliances, etc.
organizations.
1860 Queen Street East, Toronto, Ontario 690-9807
8 Phoenix Rising
We pick up and deliver.
Open Tuesday - Saturday