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Ears
The Ear is a useful piece of anatomy. one of which is attached to each
side of our head. In most people they are atatched in parallel planes, but
sometimes they stick out at right angles, more or leu. Such persons are
qualified to be Pinkerton Detectives or Faculty Members.
When we were young we thot of Ears chiefly as things to be washed before
Sunday School, or as places to have earaches in, but as our education
increased and our brains expanded we found other uscs. Near-sighted persons
find them convenient things to hook spectacles onto. and as a hiding
place for pencils Ears have no equal. Many a student has wasted priceleS3
hours hunting for a pencil that was behind his own ear.
As indicators of the weather the Ears have the aneroid barometer and
the weather prophet backed off the map. A sharp tingling sensation is a
sure indication of falling temperature. As the temperature lowers. the ting~
ling is replaced by a numb feeling, showing that the atmosphere is below
zero. Then the Ears freeze. When the Ears are frozen great care must be
taken, as they are very brittle in this condition. and easily broken off,
The Ear occupies a prominent place in literature. as such expressIOns as:
"In one ear and out the other", "Up on his ear", "Cetting an earfur', "From
ear to ear", "Lugged in by the ear". etc., etc.. go to show.
Among males. Ears are not used for personal adornment. except in the
case of pugilists, who sometimes wear cauliflower Ears. But among co-eds
the Ear has found great favor as one may deduce from the tonnage of jew~
elry suspended from the Ears of the average girl. This style of decoration
is all the rage in South Africa. the Fiji islands. and it was from them that
the custom has been taken,
Another great advantage in having Ears is that they serve as boundaries
for the mouth. Had it not been for the Ears. there is no telling where the
mouth would have stopped, Perhaps it wouldn't. This is horrible to cootemplate.
Mark Antony was one of the first men to recognize the value of Ears
when he asked his audience to lend him theirs. History does not tell whether
or not this Joan was negotiated. but it is an instance of the high repute
which Ears have enjoyed since early times.
Lower animals have the power to move and agitate their Ears. as for m~
stance the mule. This explains why some people can wiggle their Ears.
Altogether Ears are an indispensable institution. Every amateur Santa
Claus who has hooked his false whiskers over them will agree with me in
this statement. So I join the ear specialists in their tribute, "Cod bless the
man who invented Ears".
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