Volume VII - Modernist Magazines Project

136 Booksand murmur to himself, " Ah ! This is a book to be treated withrespect. This is written" Thus, by a discreet appreciation ofthe value of Pretentiousness, Mr. Hobbes breaks his Pressman-Critic's spirit with his title-page, and has him entirely subjugatedabout half-way down page I.But do you imagine that the author's pretentiousness beginsand ends here, at the threshold ? . Far from it. His book is pretentiousin every line ; I might almost say in every dash andcomma. It is linked pretentiousness long drawn out. It ispacked with aphorisms, with reflections : it is diversified withlittle essays, little shrieks, and philosophic sighs : all pretentious.On page 135, for instance: "The weak mind is never weary ofrecounting its failures." On dirait the late Mr. Martin Tupper—not ? On page 23 : " O Science ! art thou not also sometimesin error ?" On dirait the late Mr. Thomas Carlyle. Onpage 13: "Men should be careful how they wish." On diraitMonsieur de la Palisse. .... And then, what shall we say ofthis ? In Chapter IV. Dr. Simon Warre writes a letter ; andthe author heads the chapter : In which Warre displays a forgottentalent! Oddsfish, the letter one is justified in expecting,after that! What one gets is a quite ordinary, gossipy, rathervulgar, rather snobbish, very pretentious letter ; and the onlytalent Warre displays is the talent of the Reporter, the Reporterfor a Society paper ; and that talent is unfortunately not forgotten.Intending competitors for my prize will observe, furthermore,that the story, the plot, of The Gods^ Some Mortals^ and LordWickenham^ is exactly the same dear old story that used to delightour nursery governesses when we were children. A good husband—oh, so good !—married to a horrid, wicked wife ; a lord ; avillain ; an elopement. The same dear old conventional story,the