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Read or download the Lady Windermere's Fan program. - California ...

Read or download the Lady Windermere's Fan program. - California ...

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WitticismsGONE WILDE}Iam so clever that sometimesI don’t understand a singlew<strong>or</strong>d of what I am saying.Ah, Oscar Wilde. Was he <strong>the</strong> cleverest man in all Christendom? Last month, we challenged our online community to go toe-tobrocaded-toewith King Wit himself, offering up <strong>the</strong>ir own Wildean aph<strong>or</strong>isms f<strong>or</strong> a chance to win tickets to see this production of<strong>Lady</strong> Windermere’s <strong>Fan</strong>, and to be published in <strong>the</strong> <strong>program</strong>. Extra points were awarded to those entries which attributed <strong>the</strong>ir lineto a particular character; made <strong>the</strong> topic Cal Shakes; and/<strong>or</strong> made <strong>the</strong> topic one of <strong>the</strong> plays in our 2013 season.We received m<strong>or</strong>e than 50 entries via Twitter and email; <strong>the</strong> winner is Patricia Milton, who deserves recognition not just f<strong>or</strong> winning<strong>the</strong> contest but also f<strong>or</strong> being so inspired that her Wildean witticisms spilled over onto her own blog (www.patriciamilton.w<strong>or</strong>dpress.com)! So congratulations to Patricia, whose ticket-winning entry—deemed by an esteemed panel of dramaturgs andMarketing staff to most encapsulate Oscar Wilde’s aph<strong>or</strong>istic style—you can read below, along with some of <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r entries.THE WINNER:A reputation is like an appendix.It’s uncertain what it’s good f<strong>or</strong>,and when it’s gone, you won’t miss it.—Patricia MiltonTo be married “till death do you part” seems an alarmingencouragement to future criminal activity. —Patricia MiltonL<strong>or</strong>d Darlington (<strong>Lady</strong> Windermere’s <strong>Fan</strong>): Never be afraidto take a position, especially a compromising one.—Patricia MiltonNever put a woman on a pedestal; she will only look downon you. —Patricia MiltonCynicism without wit is peevishness. Wit without cynicismis impossible. —Patricia MiltonAlgernon, to Jack (The Imp<strong>or</strong>tance of Being Earnest):My dear boy, it’s so easy to know what you want in life,until you get it. —Robert Estes<strong>Lady</strong> Bracknell (<strong>Lady</strong> Windermere’s <strong>Fan</strong>): I have never onceminded offending people, it’s <strong>the</strong> least <strong>the</strong>y can do f<strong>or</strong> me.—Robert EstesYou learn something new every day… no matter how hardyou try to avoid it. —Sargent LingGwendolen Fairfax (The Imp<strong>or</strong>tance of Being Earnest):At dinner parties, I find people tedious and b<strong>or</strong>ing, it’sendlessly fascinating. —Carol MarshallOscar Wilde: Everyone thinks <strong>the</strong>y have an inner OscarWilde but in reality it’s just Soupy Sales on a bad day.—Carol MarshallA lack of m<strong>or</strong>al principles is not nearly so frightful as a lackof dinner invitations. —Patricia MiltonThe road to div<strong>or</strong>ce is paved with inattentions.—Patricia MiltonWhen a married woman yields her reputation, that’s asacrifice. When a single one does, that’s marketing.—Patricia MiltonOne deceives m<strong>or</strong>e often out of kindness than malice.—Patricia MiltonThe only thing m<strong>or</strong>e tragic than an unkempt womanis an unkept one. —Patricia MiltonMrs. Cowper-Cowper (<strong>Lady</strong> Windermere’s <strong>Fan</strong>): Whengossip dines out, reputation pays <strong>the</strong> bill. —Patricia MiltonWhen one can’t follow directions, it’s fun to followthat one. —Juanita PrestonI’m wild about Shaw, but I’m not so sure about Wilde.—PJ RobinsonThe only way to atone f<strong>or</strong> being occasionally a little overstressedis by being always absolutely over-medicated.—Marissa SkudlarekTo decline one opp<strong>or</strong>tunity f<strong>or</strong> sex, Miss Fairfax, may beregarded as prudence; to decline a second looks likeprudishness. —Marissa SkudlarekOptimism is <strong>the</strong> tyranny of <strong>the</strong> buoyant imagination.—Meg ThatcherTo learn about contests like this one,visit www.calshakes.<strong>or</strong>g/blog,follow us on Twitter @calshakes, <strong>or</strong>like us at www.Facebook.com/calshakes.

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