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day did Moe learn that the ignition had shorted outonly a half mile later and caused a minor fire behindthe fascia panel. The boys could get home only by tapinga power wire together for the remaining distance.If any Land Rover shops [are you reading this,Robison, East Coast Rover, Cooper Technica, Ship’smechanical?] are looking for skilled mechanics, we’reavailable. In the meantime our next remake will be of“Flat Foot Stooges” [1938] in which the boys are firemen.Catch it at a theater near you.________ ________No matter what your age, you’ll always remember yourfirst car. On my 16 th birthday, I believed that it mightbe possible for me to will my father into purchasing anAustin Healey for me. When I woke up that morning,he handed me a set of keys but to the family’s BuickSpecial, not a car of my own. That did not happenuntil two years and $150 later, when I purchased therustiest Ford Skyliner you could and still have aninspection sticker. A couple of years later I had saved$400 and bought my Morris Minor. Stretching myfinancial skills further enabled me to buy a $600Triumph Spitfire; you can imagine the automotive qualityembodied in a $600 British sports car.Since 2001, I’ve worked around rural highschools in Maine, and even there, student cars aren’tthe junkers that populated school parking lots decadesago. The New York Times cites a national survey highlightedthis trend. Parents in their 40’s reported that72% of them had to purchase their own car – if theyhad one at all - with their own funds when they werestudents. Not surprisingly, 76% of today’s students havetheir own cars but a whopping 51% had their carspurchased for them by their parents. While 82% of thestudents’ cars were used cars, nearly half cost morethan $10,000. Yes, cars cost a lot more today but thatchunk of change still represents a substantial automobile.Much of this generosity arises out of genuineconcerns for the safety of young drivers by their parentsand families. We so expect that cars will cocoonus and shelter us from our worst impulses that weseek to make the car cover for our driving errors.Brian O’Neill, speaking for the Insurance Institute ofHighway Safety, bluntly claimed “when you’re 16 or17, there’s no such thing as a good driver. They’re allbad drivers waiting for an accident to happen.”The average vehicle now remains on the road for15 years, or 170,000 miles. Given the popularity ofLand Rovers in the ‘90’s and 00’s, there’s lots ofopportunity for young drivers to climb aboard an SUV.Can they be safe in the hands of younger drivers?Logically, of course they can, provided that the newdriver receives skilled training in techniques requiredfor an SUV, and providing that the necessary maintenanceto the car have been completed. Range RoverClassics and Discovery Series I’s rely on suspensionbushings at several points for responsive handling.Good springs, strong shocks and quality tires alsoenhance handling. Often, though, older, high mileagecars don’t receive this maintenance and attention – nowonder that, in unskilled hands, they’re less safe thancomparable sedans.When I bought my first [very] used sports carsin the ‘60’s, I knew them to be less intrinsically safethan larger cars. I also knew that their handling, sizeand light weight could work to my advantage for safetyif I used it wisely. The same held true when I boughtmy Series II-A in 1990; that [very] used car requiredme, on road and off road, to become a more highlyskilled driver. Training, in the form of the Rovers NorthOff Road School, helped me enormously, as did thepractical advice from experienced off road friends.Young drivers can learn a great deal from owninga Land Rover, about themselves as drivers, technicians,adventurers and young adults. Learning aboutyour capabilities is just one of the many pleasures ofLand Rover enthusiasm.________ ________Greenpeace activists in England had a satisfying timebreaking into the Solihull factory to protest the manufactureof Range Rovers. Their outrage was expressedagainst people who purchase these “climate destructivecars.”If you’re upset with the Range Rover, considerthe 2006 Hummer lineup. The H1 weighs in a 7,558pounds and $139,771 purchase price. At its porkysize, the EPA considers it too heavy to require amileage rating, but it’s estimated generously at 10 mpg.Its twin fuel tanks, totaling 50 gallons, call for a mere$150 for a fillup. Auto reviewer Jerry Garrett called theH1 a “rolling zip code. Everyone sits in a personalcubicle, isolated from fellow travelers by a center consoleas wide and long as a New Mexico mesa.Communicating requires shouting over the engine androad noise. Once, while driving an H1, I used my cellphoneto call my daughter. She was in the back seat.”Oh, if you want the “Off Road AdventurePackage,” that will be an additional $5,700, please.For that, you get a 12,000 –pound winch, front andrear locking differentials, and better tires.Would something smaller help? The $52,430 H2is a svelte 6,400 pounds and ekes out 12 mpg. It’s usefulfor onroading in front of dance clubs in trashylocales. GM, following the lead of the late, unlamentedBritish Leyland, has badge-engineered a pickup intothe H3. Helpfully, driving the H3 offroad means thatyou can’t see the ends of the car, or determine thewheel paths, without a backup camera – which is notan optional extra. With 220 horsepower luggingaround 4,700 pounds, the H3 achieves 18 mpg andstarts at $37,195. It seats 5, but only 4 in comfort.Oh, yes, the 2006 Range Rover starts at $74,950; the Range Rover Sport begins at $56,750, and theLR3 starts at $38,950. They’re ready to go off roadstock.________ ________Page 31