Winter 2007 - BMI.com

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y Richard EngquistBeing a curmudgeon is so satisfying.It’s like playing the age card: itmakes me feel I have license to sayall sorts of unpleasant things withoutconsequences. Of course thatisn’t true—no one has license to bedisagreeable—but I pretend. Herewith,a few rants I’ve got off mychest before but need to do again:I. Introducing your presentationin the Workshop:Write it down. Rehearse it. Keep itbrief. Don’t tell us more than weneed to know. Remember, we’vebeen doing this a long time; we’resmart and intuitive. We get it. Donot shoot yourself in the foot byboring us or condescending to us.One minute is more than enoughto set up your song. You need not,and should not, summarize thewhole show.II. Commenting on presentations:Lately, when I’m not moderating, Ihear long, self-indulgent commentariesrather than to-the-pointcomments. Pick the most importantobservation you want tomake, say it succinctly, move onand give someone else a chance.We ’ re not there for autobiographiesbut for helpful advice. Also,if you hate something, say nothing,because if you hate somethingand say something, howeverveiled, we won’t be fooled.III. Standard English:Talk like a grownup! If you’vereached the age of 25 or 30 and stillsound like a Valley Girl, somethingis seriously wrong with your maturation—oryou’re perpetuating atedious affectation.Anyone who can learn calculus,operating a computer, or writingmusic or lyrics can learn to constructand deliver a simple declarativesentence. That is, a sentenceuncluttered by “basically,” “actually,”“sort of,” “know what I’m saying?”Remember that theatre writinginvolves expressing yourself clearly. That means identifying objectsand actions accurately. To say thatsomething is “like” something isnot to say what it is. Call a spade aspade.“ We ’ re, like, crossing the stre e tand he’s, like, on my case and I’m,like, is it any of your business? andthen we’re, like, in each other’ sface and about to have this, like,awesome fight……”Gibberish! Paralyzing! A n d22
what does it mean?If you can’t break the teenspeakhabit on your own, run to a speechtherapist and get some help. It willbe a worthwhile investment.(On the other hand, twentyyears from now there may not besuch a thing as Standard English.But I won’t be around to suffer.)IV. Loyalty:What is it with people who applyto the Workshop, get accepted, gothrough the program, stick arounduntil they get started on a pro f e s-sional care e r, and then aff i l i a t ewith ASCAP? To enjoy an educationthat’s free but worth thousandsof dollars—not to mentionthe support and encouragement ofh u n d reds of colleagues—and thendecamp! Maury Yeston has oftensaid this does not trouble him, butit certainly troubles me. Am I missingsomething? What ever happenedto gratitude, loyalty, taste,good manners or a simple sense ofjustice? (I’m not referring to thosewho are A S C A P members beforethey join the Workshop. That’sanother matter.)Well, that’s enough ranting andventing. On a positive note, I’mstill very happy to be associatedwith a gang of such talented, brilliant,stimulating and for the mostpart likeable people. It’s been aunique adventure, and I wouldn’thave missed it for the world.Editor:Newsletter StaffListings Editor:Design andLayout:Contributing Editors:David SpencerJeff SimnoPatrick CookRichard EngquistFrank Evans23
Page 1 and 2: Vol. 7, No. 28 Winter, 2007BMI Work
Page 3 and 4: ookwriters, most of whom areactivel
Page 5: its world pre m i e re at the B o u
Page 8 and 9: SONGS AND STORIES WITHPAUL SCOTT GO
Page 10 and 11: C o o l i d g e (Advanced, Libre t
Page 12 and 13: atre genre, returned to the Londons
Page 14 and 15: SpecialEventsTHE ALCHEMY OF THEATRE
Page 16 and 17: Non-writingGigsAND/ORHarris Doran (
Page 18 and 19: the B roadway at the Y’ s s p r i
Page 20 and 21: Grand Hotel: The Musical, Dru r yLa

Winter 2007 - BMI.com

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