Conflict Resolution and Mediation 101 - Westminster College

Consider….Room Contracts! A great resource and tool is a roommate contract, a documentoutlining all the rules and expectations that the roommates agree to uphold within the room. Itcan be used as a proactive tool that all roommates complete during the first week of school or itcan be utilized during a mediation as a guideline to discussing issues. A roommate agreementcan be found on the resource page online.Also give your residents The Good Roommate Guide. Effective communication among theroommates is the key to resolving any type of conflict, particularly roommate issues.Understand the limits of mediationMediation can be most helpful in many roommate or community disputes. There are, however, anumber of circumstances in which mediation is not the proper solution. In instances whereviolence has occurred, or may occur, mediation is inappropriate because either the threateningatmosphere places one of the disputants at a disadvantage, or a disputant enters the mediationwith motives that are incompatible with the process. For the same reasons, sexual assault, datingviolence or stalking are also poor choices for mediation. Lastly, disputes that involve individualswith a wide disparity in power (e.g. dean of a department and a student) can be problematic andare not advisable.Be neutralSome professional mediators would say that a true mediator shouldn’t know any of the partiesinvolved in a mediation session. Others would say that as long as you can be neutral, and areperceived to be neutral, you can operate as a mediator. It helps to note any relationship that youhave with the parties involved. For example, it’s all right to say “Even though Joe was myresident last year and I’ve known him longer, I believe I can be a neutral mediator in thisprocess. Are you both okay with that?” Of course the best course of action would be to haveanother RA mediate a dispute between your residents. You could return the favor when otherRA’s have disputes within their community. This insures neutrality, both in real and perceivedterms.Take appropriate timeYour residents have 45 minutes between classes and they want you to do the mediation in thattime? Look for another opportunity to meet with them. One of the biggest mistakes in mediationis not allowing enough time for the process to take place. All parties (including you) need tohave two hours, at minimum, to get things going. And everyone should understand that you maynot get finished in that time; you may need to schedule another time (or times) to keep theprocess going. Time is a limited resource, especially for college students, but it is one of the keyingredients for a successful mediation.Be patientWhile it may seem that all the issues are on the table, there may be more lurking unseen to youreye. If either or both disputants seem hesitant or can’t seem to move forward, there may be more