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R I C K ’ SLast LicksThe Graduating TimeBY RICK REYNOLDSIllustration by Rick ReynoldsAny parent of a high schoolsenior knows that strange timethat occurs when, after giving them17 of the best years of your life, itsuddenly dawns on your teenagerthat you’re history. After all, they’vesuccessfully stretched your rulesand aged their teachers. They’vethoroughly decaled your car anddriven it to who-knows-where? Theycan microwave canned ravioli whileglobally Facebooking 200 of theirBFFs. And they can text faster thanyou can speak—so why exactly dothey need you? I asked my daughterthe other day if she thought of meas nothing but an ATM with badbreath and she said, “Not any more:Mom gave me a debit card.” Then,just when you think you’ve seen thedepths of ungratefulness, they’llcurl up next to you like puppies andwant to be comforted.If this weren’t bad enough, there’sthe college visits, the applications,the FAFSA, the crying and whining,the “I can’t believe I have to write32 Inside Chappaqua May 2010250 whole words on why I want acollege education!” essays. Imagine;250 words! My doctor writes moreverbiage on my prescriptions. You’dthink they were being asked to writethe Magna Carta.Then there’s the histrionics: thewait and worry, the insecurity andsobbing, the indecision and fear—and that’s just the parents.Meanwhile, your senior is offdebiting her way out of angst anduncertainty partying with her fellowsenior debitors. And because it’syour money, there’s no such thingas debitor’s prison for these young,economic engines.Finally, there’s Mom. Moms don’tlike it when the objects of theirmotherhood leave the nest. What amess, but more on that in a minute.When I was a senior at Greeley andapplying to colleges, things weredifferent. Why, I can rememberbucking up and putting myshoulder to the wheel and…okay,truthfully, it was so long ago I can’treally remember how it was, but I’mquite sure it was different. I don’tremember actually filling outapplications. Somebody must have. Ido remember visiting a couple ofcolleges, but I didn’t know theirnames until we got there. So I don’tthink I complained much about theprocess. I also don’t think I wasworried about leaving home—oreven thought about it much—untilmy laundry became seriouslyfragrant after my first quarter oncampus. Later, my parents and Iboth agreed: when I went to college,none of us ever looked back.Now, people are much more intotheir feelings. My wife has startedpinning up pictures of our daughteron any vertical surfaces not alreadycovered by my diplomas. Oneminute my wife is pushing the kidout the door, and the next, she’scertain there must be some clericalmistake about her being old enoughfor college. How could this babewho singlehandedly inflated thestock price of Spaghetti-O’s be readyto leave the nest? she wants toknow. And now, with only a fewdesperate months left, mom anddaughter push off and pull backtheir love while I dodge the arrowsand wait for it all to hit me.Four college letters of acceptancehave now come in. They appear tobe legitimate—yep, theirwatermarks check out. So, I guessthis is it—the whole shootin’ match.Wow. Sure the girl used up all thehot water and had an AcademyAward winning temper: it wasstarting to grow on me. I doubtshe’ll ever know how proud we areof her. At least one of us is ready tograduate.Chappaqua alumnus and 35-yearresident, humorist RICK REYNOLDSresides in southern New Hampshirewith his wife, daughter and dog.
InsideT H E M A G A Z I N E F O R N E W C A S T L E A N D B E Y O N DCHAPPAQUACover SponsorsEye GalleryAbsolute Green HomesWillowbrook Swim andTennis ClubAcademic Tutoring,Alan Schneider ...............................24Armonk Laser Hair Removal ........17Beascake Bakery.............................18Beecher Funeral Home, Inc...........28Bet Torah Nursery School .............17Bramswig Photography..................24Bueti Brothers.................................30Camp Connection ..........................30Cathy Hair and Day Spa................28Certa Pro Painter ............................13Chappaqua Children's Workshop..11Chappaqua FriendsNursery School ...............................29Chappaqua Rocks at Music inChappaqua......................................15Club Fit Summer Camp ................28College Planning, Inc. ....................30Don Emilio at Lobo's Café .............14Emmary Day Spa............................17Eye Designs of Armonk ...................7Frank E. Malara, CPA, PC ...............15Future Stars Summer Camps atArmonk Tennis Club......................24Future Stars Summer Camps atPurchase College ............................27Granite Real Estate TaxConsultants, LLC ............................21Grappolo Locanda ..........................24HoulihanLawrence.com ..................5ICD Contemporary Jewelry .............3ICD In the Loupe ............................16Jean Jacques Culinary Creations ..23Jodi's Gym .......................................17John Buckley, Houlihan Lawrence .30LaMer Gourmet Seafood ...............30Le Jardin du Roi French Bistro ......27Loungerie Intimate Apparel..........25March Boutique................................2Maria Briones, M.D.P.C. ..................20Meyer and Spencer, LLC ................13May 2010Advertisers at a GlanceMillwood Garden Center ...............30New Castle Physical Therapy........18Notes from Chappaqua Rocks......14Oasis Day Spa...................................2Pets Alive Fur Ball ............................6Picturing You, Daniel Baitch .........30Rosenthal JCC .................................27Single&Smart Magazine..................4Squires Family Clothing andFootwear..........................................15Steffi Nossen School of Dance .....23Tazza's Café ....................................15The Cosmetic Boutique .................25The Perennial Chef ..........................9ToddShapera.com, Photography...16Tom Williamson Landscaping, Inc...9Total Turf Landscaping, Inc. .........11Westchester Tree Life ....................30Wordcraft, Inc.................................12World Cup GymnasticsSummer Camp ...............................20World Cup Nursery School andKindergarten...................................27 www.willowbrookswim.org Sign up Now! Kelly Blacker 914-241-3459Michelle Saccurato 914-261-9853
Page 3 and 4: InsideT H E M A G A Z I N E F O R N
Page 6 and 7: Below is my very own “amazingmom
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