Dear Diary: - Good Morning Sunshine.ca

www.goodmorningsunshine.caVol. 14 No. 15 604-989-4014 604-740-1315 Thursday, July 7 2011Dear Diary:Tonight, I thought my husband wasacting weird. We had made plans tomeet at a nice restaurant for dinner. Iwas shopping with my friends all daylong, so I thought he was upset at thefact that I was a bit late, but he madeno comment on it.Conversation wasn't flowing, so Isuggested that we go somewherequiet so we could talk. He agreed, buthe didn't say much.I asked him what was wrong; Hesaid, 'Nothing.' I asked himif it was my fault that he wasupset. He said he wasn't upset, thatit had nothing to do with me, and notto worry about it. On the way home, Itold him that I loved him. He smiledslightly, and kept driving.I can't explain his behavior I don'tknow why he didn't say, “I love you,too.” When we got home, I felt as if Ihad lost him completely, as if hewanted nothing to do with meanymore. He just sat there quietly,and watched TV. He continued toseem distant and absent.Finally, with silence all around us,I decided to go to bed.About 15 minutes later, he cameto bed. But I still felt that he was stilldistracted, and his thoughts weresomewhere else.He fell asleep; I cried. I don't knowwhat to do. I'm almost sure that histhoughts are with someone else. Mylife is a disaster.Husband's Diary: A four putt; whothe hell four putts?Have youseen this?I had trouble with the idea ofturning 30 and was oversensitive toany signs of advancing age. When Ifound a prominent gray hair in mybangs, I pointed to my forehead andasked my husband, "Oh no, have youseen this?""Seen what?" he asked. “Thewrinkles?"

Page 2 www.goodmorningsunshine.caA few ponderingsWhy isn't the number 11pronounced onety-one?Why do croutons come inairtight packages?Aren't they just stale breadto begin with?If a pig loses its voice,is it disgruntled?Fill in every row, column and 3x3box with the numbers 1 to 9each number must appear ineach row, column and 3x3 boxonly onceplease find solution on page 4Why is a person who plays thepiano called a pianist, buta person who drives a race caris not called a racist?If lawyers are disbarred andclergymen defrocked,then doesn't it follow thatelectricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboysderanged, models deposed, treesurgeons debarked, and drycleaners depressed?Do Lipton Tea employeestake 'coffee breaks?Is it true that you neverreally learn to swear until youlearn to drive?If a cow laughed, would milkcome out of her nose?True loveA woman wassipping on a glassof wine, whilesitting on the patiowith her husband,and she said, "Ilove you so much, Idon't know how Icould ever livewithout you."Her husbandasked, "Is that you,or the winetalking?"She replied, "It'sme...talking to thewine."Guilty assuggestedI am a prosecuting attorney in asmall town and will admit to having afew extra pounds on me. Not longago, I was questioning a witness in anarmed robbery case. I asked, "Wouldyou describe the person you saw?"The witness replied, "He was kindof short and stout.""You mean short and stout likeme?" I asked."Oh, no," the witness said. "Hewasn't that fat."

www.goodmorningsunshine.ca Page 3Quite the matchmakerBarbie, a waitress, decided to puther matchmaking skills to the test withour mutual friend Mike. She figuredthat Sandy, another customer whoseemed to have much in commonwith Mike, would be an ideal date.One day Mike came into therestaurant when Sandy was alsothere. Barbie dragged Mike over toSandy's table and introduced the two.Then she watched, in amazement, asMike put his arm around the youngwoman and said in his best mockseductivevoice, "Hellooooh, Sandy.""You guys know each other?"Barbie asked."We sure do," said Mike. "She's mysister."It’s called a ThermosCletus goes to work and seesthat one of his co-workers has aThermos.He asks him what it does,and the co-worker responds, "Itkeeps hot things hot and coldthings cold."Cletus is amazed, and whenhe gets home, he immediatelygoes out and buys one. The nextday he goes to work and is proudthat he has this wonderful object.The same co-worker realizeshe has a thermos and says,"What do you have in it?"He very proudly says, "Soupand ice cream!"Honest, it’s really a giftAfter spending 3-1/2 hoursenduring the long lines , surly clerksand insane regulations at theDepartment of Motor Vehicles, Istopped at a toy store to pick up a giftfor my son.I brought my selection - a baseballbat - to the cash register."Cash or charge?" the clerk asked."Cash," I snapped. Thenapologizing for my rudeness , Iexplained ,"I've spent the afternoon at themotor-vehicle bureau.""Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerkasked sweetly. "Or are you goingback there?"

Page 4Thursday, July 7 2011Good Morning, Sunshine!Too clever to pass up!I wish I had a small truck so I could take advantage of a contracthauling opportunity I saw mentioned the other day.Seems a water-garden company wants a load of frogs delivered, butthey have to be delivered in a special bog-like container that will fit in apickup truck's bed.They'll pay in food, which is exactly what I like best!For each load delivered, the company will provide one enormoushome-baked casserole with a crust of Middle Eastern flat bread.Mmmmmm!That's right: A pita pie per pickup pack of puddled peepers.I hope they don't raise the standard ofliving any higher. I can't afford it now.Solution from puzzle on page 2