Dear Diary: - Good Morning Sunshine.ca

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Page 2 www.goodmorningsunshine.caA few ponderingsWhy isn't the number 11pronounced onety-one?Why do croutons come inairtight packages?Aren't they just stale breadto begin with?If a pig loses its voice,is it disgruntled?Fill in every row, column and 3x3box with the numbers 1 to 9each number must appear ineach row, column and 3x3 boxonly onceplease find solution on page 4Why is a person who plays thepiano called a pianist, buta person who drives a race caris not called a racist?If lawyers are disbarred andclergymen defrocked,then doesn't it follow thatelectricians can be delighted,musicians denoted, cowboysderanged, models deposed, treesurgeons debarked, and drycleaners depressed?Do Lipton Tea employeestake 'coffee breaks?Is it true that you neverreally learn to swear until youlearn to drive?If a cow laughed, would milkcome out of her nose?True loveA woman wassipping on a glassof wine, whilesitting on the patiowith her husband,and she said, "Ilove you so much, Idon't know how Icould ever livewithout you."Her husbandasked, "Is that you,or the winetalking?"She replied, "It'sme...talking to thewine."Guilty assuggestedI am a prosecuting attorney in asmall town and will admit to having afew extra pounds on me. Not longago, I was questioning a witness in anarmed robbery case. I asked, "Wouldyou describe the person you saw?"The witness replied, "He was kindof short and stout.""You mean short and stout likeme?" I asked."Oh, no," the witness said. "Hewasn't that fat."
www.goodmorningsunshine.ca Page 3Quite the matchmakerBarbie, a waitress, decided to puther matchmaking skills to the test withour mutual friend Mike. She figuredthat Sandy, another customer whoseemed to have much in commonwith Mike, would be an ideal date.One day Mike came into therestaurant when Sandy was alsothere. Barbie dragged Mike over toSandy's table and introduced the two.Then she watched, in amazement, asMike put his arm around the youngwoman and said in his best mockseductivevoice, "Hellooooh, Sandy.""You guys know each other?"Barbie asked."We sure do," said Mike. "She's mysister."It’s called a ThermosCletus goes to work and seesthat one of his co-workers has aThermos.He asks him what it does,and the co-worker responds, "Itkeeps hot things hot and coldthings cold."Cletus is amazed, and whenhe gets home, he immediatelygoes out and buys one. The nextday he goes to work and is proudthat he has this wonderful object.The same co-worker realizeshe has a thermos and says,"What do you have in it?"He very proudly says, "Soupand ice cream!"Honest, it’s really a giftAfter spending 3-1/2 hoursenduring the long lines , surly clerksand insane regulations at theDepartment of Motor Vehicles, Istopped at a toy store to pick up a giftfor my son.I brought my selection - a baseballbat - to the cash register."Cash or charge?" the clerk asked."Cash," I snapped. Thenapologizing for my rudeness , Iexplained ,"I've spent the afternoon at themotor-vehicle bureau.""Shall I giftwrap the bat?" the clerkasked sweetly. "Or are you goingback there?"
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Dear Diary: - Good Morning Sunshine.ca

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