Anthony Ainley arrested in bar brawl - The Vervoid

Number 871, August 1997. £6.99
EDITED BY RICHARD SCHLICKER
DISTRIBUTED BY MAGNUS AND LUXOR PUBLISHING.
Look WHO's Talking!
This month, Sylvester McCoy and Sophie
Aldred remember their time on Dr Who....
Sylvester McCoy: "Ah well.
Those were the days, weren't
they? Oh to be in Doctor Who,
now that November's here!"
Sophie Aldred: "November?
Looks more like July to me, Sylv.
You've gone a bit weird, ever
since we fought the Day-leks."
SM: "Daaa-leks! Anyway, never
mind that now. They were the
best days I've ever had on
television, even better than
working with Adrian Hedley on
Jigsaw. Bloody great fun!"
SA: "I worked with Jo Korna, you
know. I was very sad when they
axed Who, but it was fun to come
back for Dimensions In Time.
Colin Baker was a riot, although
he did keep bringing in that rather
unfortunate moment in The Curse
Of Penric....
SM: "Fenric!"
SA: "Yeah, that one. Y'know,
where my suspender belt was
showing? The actor playing the
Haemovore nearly fainted!"
SM: "Of course, I had a great
laugh in Canada, when we made
the film in 1996 with Paul
McGann. He's a lovely lad."
SA: "I've always been meaning to
ask you, Sylv. How come your
Doctor was like this all powerful
demi-god, Time's Champion, in
the BBC series, yet he was this
weedy Mr. Bean figure in the
film? What was going on there?"
SM: "To tell you the truth, Sophie,
I was completely pissed during
the recording of the film, and I
couldn't really get into character.
It was great fun."
SYLVESTER McCOY
and SOPHIE ALDRED
1
Anthony Ainley
arrested in bar brawl
The Doctor Who world was shattered
last night by the revelation that actor
Anthony Ainley was arrested after a
bar room brawl in Hackney last week.
Ainley, who starred in Doctor Who as
the Master between 1981 and 1989,
was released on £5000 bail, with a
court hearing due in late August. An
onlooker who wishes to remain
nameless, told the Newsletter what
he saw. "I was just drinking with
some mates in a pub" he explained.
"When a bloke walked in. He was
obviously a bit pissed, because he
staggered into a table, knocking it to
the ground. He apologised, and
ordered a treble Scotch, no ice. At
this point, I recognised his saturnine
features - It was the Master!"
Apparently, Ainley began chatting up
the barmaids, and made lewd and
suggestive comments until the
landlord was called, who told him that
if he didn't behave himself, he would
be ejected. This seemed to work, but
only for a while. "He ordered another
treble, and began chanting to himself"
recalls our onlooker. "I could hear him
saying, 'Nyssa, Nyssa' and laughing
in this manic way. He then turned to
this really big bloke and said, 'At last,
I've cut you down to size'.
Unfortunately, the guy was not
amused and punched him."
At this point, our witness left the
building, but other people say that
Ainley produced a torch, believing it
to be the Master's Tissue
Compression Eliminator, and then
tried to 'kill' people with it. When this
did not work, he began bellowing
"Doctor, Wait!" and stroking his
beard, causing a gang of bikers to
start throwing stools and smashing
glasses. The riot was eventually
quelled by the arrival of the police,
who arrested Ainley and three other
men who were later released without
charge. Ainley's agent said that his
client was "tired and emotional" but
would not comment on the incident.
The case continues.

My Favourite Who:
Disc Jockeys
This month, some of the cream of the
BBC's disc jockeys have kindly given
up some of their valuable spare time
to talk to us. Here, Alan "Fluff"
Freeman, Simon Bates, Nicholas
Andrew Argylle Campbell and Bruno
Brooks select their favourite episodes
of Doctor Who.
1. THE WAR MACHINES (1966)
ALAN FREEMAN:
"Hey, there time travellers. This story was a
treat, particularly when it compared Bill
Hartnell to my old mate Jimmy Saville. Lovely
people, yeah. Good to see the Doc being
called by his full name for once, and that
WOTAN was terrifying. Never let anybody put
you down, and I'll see you down the Inferno for
a real rave up - not 'arf!"
2. DOCTOR WHO (1996)
SIMON BATES:
"Great fun, this one. The Doctor and Grace,
well...phew! They knew it was wrong, but they
kissed. They enjoyed it, so they did it again.
And again. And as these things often happen,
they ended up in bed, and Grace gave birth to
a little baby Time Lord while Eric Roberts had a
bad night downstairs. Gruesome effects,
listeners, and I was bloody terrified. I'm not
feeling very well, so can you tell the smudger
to piss off?" ( According to his
agent, Mr. Bates has been "overworking",
which perhaps explains his strangeness here -
Ed)
3. THE TIME WARRIOR (1974)
NICKY CAMPBELL:
"This was a really kosher story, if I may use
that expression. In fact, it was effing great.
That of course, was the F-word, and I'm not
talking about federalism. Gimme the love,
Gimme the TARDIS. I wrote a song based on
the Doctor Who theme tune, but I lost my
rhyming dictionary so it was a waste of time,
really."
4. NIGHTMARE OF EDEN (1979)
BRUNO BROOKES:
"Now we all like to have fun, don't we?
Everyone loves to party, but hey - you don't
need vraxoin to have a good time. It really
screws you up. Say no to vraxoin, no matter
who says that it's cool - Believe me, it isn't.
Thanks for listening."
David Hasselhoff to
star in new Who film
After years of speculation, the
Newsletter can exclusively reveal that
Doctor Who is to be made into a
Hollywood blockbuster - with David
Hasselhoff in the title role.
Rumours have been circulating for
several years that Hasselhoff, 48, star
of Knight Rider and Baywatch, would
be the latest incarnation of the
Doctor, and now they finally seem to
have come true. A news release from
Paramount Pictures says that Doctor
Who - Last of the Time Lords is to be
directed by Robert Zemeckis, who is
very familiar with the concept of time
travel following his successful Back
To The Future trilogy. Hasselhoff will
star as Doctor Who, while Sharon
Stone, Nicola Bryant and Su Pollard
will feature as the Doctor's glamorous
assistants. Hasselhoff told the
Newsletter: "I'm really glad it's finally
gonna happen. I've been waiting
years for this role, and at last it has
dropped into my lap."
However, some Who fans are less
than enthusiastic about the news. "It's
a bloody disgrace" said TV critic and
Who aficionado Sam Brady. "We all
thought that Universal's Paul McGann
disaster was crap, and now look! A
bloody Yank playing the Doctor.
Hasselhoff couldn't act his way out of
a paper bag, and I'm sure they'll be a
parade of leggy lovelies just like in
Baywatch. A far better choice to play
Doctor Who is Morrissey, who
represents the essential Englishness
of the character."
Other fans, such as Griff Rhys Jones,
are worried about continuity.
"Will it feature a regeneration
sequence with Paul McGann?" he
asks. "And will we finally see the
rapping TARDIS console with lips?"
Last Of The Time Lords goes into
production in October, with a release
date provisionally planned for June
1998. The villains of the piece have
yet to be confirmed, but Eric Roberts
has been approached to reprise the
role of the Master, while John Scott
Martin and Cy Town have been
brought in as "Dalek consultants".
2
Your Letters
THE NEWSLETTER,
23 CHANEY SQUARE, LONDON W127RJ.
Dear Sir,
I have just finished reading The Eight Doctors
by Terrance Dicks, and I have to say I am
appalled. The book seemed to have been
written by a blind, five year old horse. There
was no characterisation, continuity cock-ups
and a really awful companion called Sam
Jones. I thought it would be a hunky man
based on Sam Jones who starred in the classic
Flash Gordon film, but instead I found it was a
voluptuous teenage girl. Please pass on my
discontent to Mr. Dicks and BBC WorldWide
Publishing.
Yours faithlessly, Barry Letts, Mecca.
PS - Listen out on Radio Two for my
forthcoming Blake's Seven series - It's great!
Sorry, Barry. After your dismal failure "The
Ghosts Of N-Space" (in which Jon
Pertwee's lisp overshadowed some ghastly
continuity cock-ups such as the Brigadier
being half Italian!?!) we refuse to take any
of your radio series seriously. Stick to
meditation, mate.
The Doctor's Choice!
In this issue, we are fortunate to have
the views of Doctor Number Five,
Peter Davison .....
Doctor Favourite memory
Bill Hartnell The Tenth Planet
Pat Troughton The Five Doctors
Jon Pertwee The Time Monster
Tom Baker Underworld
Peter Davison Castrovalva
Colin Baker Dimensions In Time
Sylv McCoy Doctor Who - the film
Paul McGann n/a
Peter Cushing n/a
Some classic moments selected this week by
Peter Davison: "Well, Bill used to get a
little...tetchy, but he was great with the
Cybermen, wasn't he. Pat was a laugh in The
Five Doctors, he used to keep me in stitches.
And why not? After all, that is how it all started.
Now Jon was so commanding in The Time
Monster, while I loved Tom in Underworld.
Why? I don't know. I have to explain? Oh, must
I? Ah, well. It was his commanding presence. It
is such a shame to hear him talk about
shagged out old Doctor Whos, isn't it? To him,
WE'RE the strangers! My own favourite is my
first story, Castrovalva, which is rather
splendid, while it was good to meet Colin Baker
on the EastEnders set for Dimensions.
Marvellous man, very witty. Sylvester was so
beautiful in the Paul McGann film, I wish he'd
stayed on. Splendid fellows - all of them!"
THE NEWSLETTER IS PRINTED MONTHLY BY MAGNUS
AND LUXOR PUBLISHING, COPYRIGHT (C) 1997.