and wanted a divorce. I was shockedand devastated. If there were cracks inour relationship, he had not communicatedthem to me. In an instant my seven-yearrelationship and three-yearmarriage was over. One of the firstthings I said to him was, “How will Itell my dad?!”I had worked so hard to convincemy father that this marriage would notbring disgrace upon myself, my family,or my people. Now I could hear himsaying, “I told you so! A Jewish guywouldn’t have done this!” He believedthat Jews were less likely to keep suchsecrets and commit such despicableacts. Of course, plenty of Jews alsowithhold their feelings and cheat ontheir spouses. It was not lost on me thatmy husband’s mistress was Jewish.(Didn’t she know that having an affairwith a married man is a shanda?!)But when I told my dad, his first andforemost concern was for my wellbeing.To this day he and my mother have beenextremely supportive of me, thoughoccasionally my dad makes an “if onlyyou would have listened to me…” statement,which pierces me to the core.Recently I asked my dad if he stillthought intermarriage was a shanda.Without hesitation he answered, “Yes.”Then I asked if he thought divorce wasa shanda. Without hesitation heanswered, “No.” Yet I feel otherwise.I feel intense shame around mydivorce. I worry that I failed at the mostimportant relationship in my life andwill be judged by the Jewish community.After all, nice Jewish girls don’t getdivorced, right?Moreover, I fear that my divorcecould signify to the outside world thatmy father was right about intermarriage.On principle, I don’t want mydad to be right. I want to believe thatmy divorce is not related in any wayto the fact that my ex was not Jewish.And yet I can’t help but think sometimes,Maybe things would haveturned out differently had my husbandbeen Jewish. Even though Ibelieve we should welcome non-Jewsinto our communities—because intermarriageis not a shanda—these daysI nonetheless find myself searchingagain for a “nice Jewish boy.”Sacred Circle of Sisterhoodcontinued from page 36a new world of Judaism opened up for me.Early in my WRJ board service, I wasoffered the honor of chanting Torah duringthe Biennial Assembly. I said “no,” becauseI was unable to read from the Torah, anddecided then and there to become an adultbat mitzvah—for if I were ever offered suchan opportunity again, I wanted to be ableto say “yes.” In 1998, I became a bat mitzvahwith a class of women from my Sisterhood.And, when I was asked again, I wasready—chanting Torah at the URJ Biennial/WRJassembly in Orlando in 1999.Sisterhood opens doors through whichmany of us would not have otherwiseentered. Our foremothers marched for theright to vote. We helped found the ReligiousCoalition for Reproductive Choice.Our foremothers taught their daughtersJudaism. We study, teach, and have publisheda wealth of women’s scholarship toenhance our studies, including Covenantof the Heart and Covenant of the Soul, twobooks of prayers, poems, and meditations.Q: What are otherWRJ contributions toReform Judaism?Lynn: NFTS was solely responsible forbuilding a dormitory on HUC’s Cincinnaticampus in the early 1920s. At the time thecollege was a commuter school in desperateneed of providing on-campus housingfor the young men studying to be Americanrabbis. Recognizing the importanceof supporting those who would lead ournascent American Reform movement intothe future, Sisterhood proclaimed, “We’renot building a building, we’re building Judaism!”The space is still called the SisterhoodDorm, although it now houses offices andhas become a gathering place on campus.In the 1930s, HUC and the <strong>UAHC</strong>asked NFTS to finance the rescue of severalyoung, promising Jewish students livingin Germany who would study at HUCand become part of the Reform Movement.Of course, NFTS said “Yes!” Thatis how W. Gunther Plaut, Herman Schaalman,Woli Kaelter, Alfred Wolf, and LeoLichtenberg became renowned, visionaryrabbis of our Movement.<strong>reform</strong> <strong>judaism</strong> 46 winter 2012And in the late 1940s, when the <strong>UAHC</strong>planned its move from Cincinnati to NewYork City, NFTS Executive Director JaneEvans scouted out the property, and NFTSbecame its primary funder.Dara: WRJ continues to support a widerange of Reform projects through its YESFund, among them WUPJ’s NETZER youthcamps in the Former Soviet Union, annualscholarships for eight Reform rabbinicand cantorial students, a Mother-DaughterBeit Midrash, a legislative assistant atthe Religious Action Center of ReformJudaism, and the Israel Religious ActionCenter’s efforts to eliminate gender discriminationin Israel.Q: What are the greatestchallenges facing Sisterhoodin its second century, andhow is WRJ positioningitself to address them?Lynn: One of our greatest challenges is toengage the next generation of young womenwho identify as Reform Jews but do not seethemselves joining traditional dues/membershiporganizations. We are asking ourselves:Where are Jewish mothers of youngchildren investing their time and energy?What kinds of activities will involve families?What synergies exist between WRJand other organizations that interact withwomen and their families? Can we implementnew membership models?We also wish to reach out to the readersof Reform Judaism magazine. If you area woman who is not part of our collectivevoice, we invite you into the WRJ family.Join us in advocating for important causesand supporting one another in living Jewishlyconnected lives. Visit wrj.org or call866-WRJ-5924 and let’s begin a conversationabout welcoming you into the sacredcircle of Sisterhood.Our 2013 Centennial celebration(wrj.org/Centennial) is a huge opportunityto re-envision WRJ and raise funds to“seed” new initiatives. Just as the womenwho came before us planned for a futurethat would bring us to this Centennial celebration,we are now planning to ensurethat our second century is as powerfuland transformative as the first.
marketplace: judaica, books, entertainmentWant to have yourfavorite authorat your nextbook club meeting?Not Your Parents’ Ketubahwww.herblueyes.cominfo@herblueyes.com347.242.2003Online author video chat,brought to you by theJewish Book Councilwww.jewishbookcouncil.org/author-chatMisconceptions in the Bibleby Rabbi Larry GoldsteinErroneous assumptions and surprisinginformation in the Torah, the Talmudand Jewish practice.For example:Arechildren punishedfor thesins of their parents?Are operations andanesthesiamentionedin theTalmud?Who were the world´s mostbeautiful women?Available through www.Amazon.comand www.BarnesandNoble.comTOLL FREE (954) 721-5660
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