THE FREEDOM BOOK - Cambridge University Students' Union

2 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008CUSU LBGT: About UsCUSU LBGT is run by an elected “executive”. For more information,visit www.cusu-lbgt.com. Any member of the Campaigncan stand for a position: why not think about getting involved?A new Exec is elected at the beginning of February. We are currentlylooking for a Socials Officer, so get in touch if you’d liketo stand for election. Contact chair@cusu-lbgt.com for more information.James Beattie – President – president@cusu-lbgt.comDrew Harmon – Chair – chair@cusu-lbgt.comRob Raine – Campaigns Officer – campaigns@cusu-lbgt.comRaymond Li – Communications Officer – communications@cusu-lbgt.comVacant – Computing Officer – computing@cusu-lbgt.comShereen Akhtar – Ents Officers – ents@cusu-lbgt.comVacant – Socials Officer – socials@cusu-lbgt.comGary McDowell & Fan Cheng – Graduate Reps – grad@cusu-lbgt.comZing Tsjeng & Chloe Wong – editors – editor@cusu-lbgt.comJonny Birtwell – Reps Coordinator – reps@cusu-lbgt.comPortia Daventry – Trans Rep – trans@cusu-lbgt.comShaun Ng – Treasurer – treasurer@cusu-lbgt.comTony Hollands – Welfare Officer – welfare@cusu-lbgt.comMichelle Dart – Women’s Officer – womens@cusu-lbgt.comSean James Newham – Bi Rep – bi@cusu-lbgt.comRepresenting you...The Chair and President of CUSU LBGT work in partnership tolead the campaign and as such sit on the CUSU Executive andthe President has a vote at CUSU Council, making sure thatLBGT students are given a voice in the students’ union.

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 3CUSU LBGT: Out and AboutCUSU LBGT run a wide variety of ents and socials...Fusion@The Place, Every Thursday NightThe biggest weekly Gay and Lesbian Club night in East Anglia! Entry10pm – 2am £3 for Students, £4 for all others. All drinks at Fusion arejust £1.50 before 11pm, £2.50 afterwards. Music policy: Classic andcommercial pop. Fusion is now run by CUSU Ents and CUSU LBGT inpartnership.If you want to organise a party or a big group outing then please contactMathew Morgan on ents-manager@cusu.cam.ac.uk.Your hosts for the evening are the CUSU LBGT Ents OfficersSocialsThere are regular socials on Sundays, which range from picnics toRounders, from going to an art exhibition to chilling in a bar. For moreinfo see Listings or e-mail the Socials Officer at socials@cusu-lbgt.com.The Scene in CambridgeThere are two gay pubs in Cambridge: the Fleur de Lys, and the Rose &Crown. Both hold regular events – check out Listings for more details.The last Saturday of each month is The Dot Cotton Club at The Junction.It’s the biggest LBGT event in East Anglia and attracts a wide andvaried crowd. Entry is £8 in advance or £9 on the door. For more information,check out www.dotcotton.co.uk.If you want to escape to London, just hop on a train – you can be therein less than 50 minutes. If you’re looking for bars head for Old ComptonStreet in Soho, or if you want to keep going after last orders, tryclubbing at G-A-Y at the Astoria or Heaven, and catch the first trainback. CUSU LBGT has organised trips to London in the past year andare looking to do so in the coming year – keep your eyes open for ane-mail about it.

4 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008CUSU LBGT: SubscribeIf you want to know what’s going on in Cambridge, subscribeto our Listings service. You’ll receive a weekly e-mail plus occasionalListings Extras. Simply email computing@cusu-lbgt.comwith ‘Subscribe to Listings’ in the subject line. Listings are alsoposted on our website.We run several e-mail lists which can be used to arrange pubvisits, debate issues or just post LBGT-related news. You cansubscribe confidentially to as many lists as you like by sendingan e-mail to the relevant address below; no-one will know thatyou are on that list unless you send e-mails to it. You don’t haveto use your University e-mail address: any will do.We also have a Freshers’ e-mail list, which will send youoccasional emails on all things specifically relevant to peoplenew to Cambridge:LISTINGS – soc-lbg-listings-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukFRESHERS – soc-lbgt-freshers-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukBLUE – for women soc-lbg-blue-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukLHW – for men soc-lbg-words-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukGrad – for graduates soc-lbg-grad-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukBi – for bisexuals soc-lbg-bi-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukT – for trans people soc-lbg-trans-managers@lists.cam.ac.ukVac – for the holidays soc-lbg-vac-managers@lists.cam.ac.uk

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 5CUSU LBGT: Subscribe[no definition] is the official magazine of CUSU LBGT. It exploresthe issues that affect LBGT people and provides a forumfor debate. To subscribe, email editor@cusu-lbgt.com with yourname and college as well as your year of graduation (so we knowwhen to stop sending it to you). Editions are sent out in plain envelopes,and only two members of CUSU LBGT deal with delivery.Back issues of [no definition] and its predecessor; AssumeNothing is available on our website.Easter200805 The Cambridge Prowler is back!12 Queer History lesson: Greek and Roman love16 Debate: Gay Activism in the UK20 A Knight out with Ian McKellenNo DefinitionCambridge University’s only LBGT magazine

6 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008CUSU LBGT: WelfareFrom the Welfare Officer:The Graduate and Women’s Officers both have welfare aspects to theirroles and they are supported by the Welfare Officer. The Welfare Officeris there to give individual support when required and also runsthe following services:A parenting scheme, which is aimed at giving people a contact withsomeone who is comfortable with their sexuality and has an ideaof what LBGT life is like in Cambridge. All parents have been trainedin areas such as listening skills and confidentiality. E-mail me atwelfare@cusu-lbgt.com if you would like a ‘parent’ and I will be happy tofind a suitable one for you.Coffee breaks are informal groups where people who are just startingto explore their sexuality and/or are thinking about coming out,or have come out recently, can meet each other in a relaxed atmosphere.CUSU LBGT Welfare Phone (07758 727771) - you can call thisnumber to contact the Welfare Officer. This may be to arrange a CoffeeBreak, ask for information for or maybe just for a quick chat. The phonewill be on as often as possible, but if there’s no answer, please leaveyour email address on the voicemail and the Welfare Officer will contactyou as soon as possible to arrange a time to call back.Peer Support is available through CUSU LBGT. Peer Supporters haveundertaken intensive training with the University Counselling Serviceand are available to provide information and confidential support.More information can be found on our website or at www.peersupport.cam.ac.uk.Whoever you are, wherever you come from, Cambridge is a generallyfriendly and accepting place. But if you’d ever like a chat or informationon anything LBGT in Cambridge or anything to do with sexuality,do get in touch using either the Welfare Phone or by e-mailingwelfare@cusu-lbgt.com. Check out the website; www.cusu-lbgt.com/help_and_support.

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 7Assume NothingSexualities can be hard to define: when does straight become bisexual,and when does that become gay? Alfred Kinsey, in his famousreport on human sexuality, found that very few people can truly becalled ‘straight’ or ‘gay’; nearly everyone belongs to the continuousspectrum of bisexuality. Research carried out at the Harvard School ofPublic Health, USA in 1994 found that 21% of the men and 18% of thewomen studied said that at some time they have felt same-sex attractionor have had sexual experiences with members of the same sex.The best thing to do about sexuality is to assume nothing. Don’t feelpressured to define your sexuality; you can do if you’re comfortableand don’t feel you have to say who you are attracted to. Attractiondoesn’t need a gender.ReligionIn the CUSU LBGT Attitudes to Sexuality survey (2004), 58% of LBGT respondentssaid they had a faith. Having beliefs and being LBGT don’thave to conflict.St Edward’s Church actively welcomes members of the LBGT community.CUSU LBGT and St Edward’s are working together to set up a fortnightlyfaith-orientated meeting.Email the LBGTPresident for moreinfo (president@cusu-lbgt.com).

8 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008Coming OutComing out: stating your sexuality to someone who previouslythought of you as ‘straight’- NB. This someone can be yourselfMost people in life will assume you’re straight, and the only way to tellthem otherwise is to come out.Even if they’ve never experienced homophobia, most people findcoming out a difficult but rewarding experience. It’s important to rememberthat you’re in control; choose who, when and if you tell.Don’t feel pressured into coming out if you don’t want to; no one has a‘right’ to know – not even your best friend.Some people don’t feel the need to come out as they’re happy notdiscussing their sexuality. Others might only tell their close friends, ormaybe their family. Some people may be worried that they’ll encounterhomophobia in their college or faculty. We’re here to support you inwhatever choice you make.Freshers’ Week...It can be hard to know what to do when you first arrive in Cambridgeand you are faced with making new friends and meeting lots of newpeople.We strongly endorse a policy of ‘assume nothing’ – don’t assume anythingabout anyone you meet.If you are LBGT, remember that there is no rush to come out at thispoint; you have lots of time to do this later if you want.

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 9StereotypesStereotypes are everywhere; whether you’re straighter than straightor as gay as they come, you’ve doubtlessly heard them. A lot of stereotypescan be funny, and sometimes people do fit in to them, but theycan also be really hurtful.When some people encounter something they don’t understand, orfeel challenged by, they often force that something into a stereotype.This is often the case with LBGT people, and there is no end to the listof stereotypes that exist. There are so many that you’re bound to fallinto one of them – as are most straight people. But because you’re notstraight, some people think that this proves the stereotype is right.Regardless of what other people may tell you, your sexuality is a verypersonal thing, and as private as you want it to be. Being a gay mandoesn’t mean that you have to camp it up if you don’t want to. Equallyif you are camp, you don’t need to ‘butch it up’ because you don’t wantto conform to that stereotype. You’re free to decide what your sexualitydoes – and doesn’t – mean to you.Being LesBiGayTrans...There’s no right or wrong way to ‘be’ LBGT. It could mean that youwatch football, drink lager and then go home to your boyfriend. Equallyif you want to shave your head, don dungarees and play rugby, thenthat’s fine too.Whatever you call yourself, whoever you are and however you chooseto live your life, CUSU LesBiGayTrans is here for you as much or as littleas you want it.Be who you are, not who others expect you to be.

10 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008HomophobiaHomophobia:Fear or hatred of homosexuals and homosexualityHomophobia can present itself in many forms. From snide commentsto physical attacks, it’s always unacceptable. CUSU LBGT is dedicatedto tackling homophobia.We run an online report scheme so that any incident of homophobiacan be entered and logged. This can be done anonymously, or ourWelfare Officer can contact you to follow it up. Even if you feel thatit was minor or ‘harmless’ homophobia, we’d urge you to log it; thisway, we can spot trends and areas where homophobia exists withinthe University. To log a report, visit our website: www.cusu-lbgt.com ore-mail welfare@cusu-lbgt.com in confidence with the details.Police Officers in the Hate Crime Team at Parkside Police Station dealwith homophobic incidents that occur in Cambridge, and can offersupport and information to victims. They also liaise with the LGBTcommunity to encourage people to report incidents and to addressany community concerns. The Hate Crime Team can be contacted on01223 823 285 or 823 270. In an emergency call 999.Homophobic incidents can either be reported to the Police directlyor through the Open Out scheme, which enables homophobic andracist incidents, and incidents involving people with disabilities, to bereported at places other than a Police station. The Open Out Co-ordinator,Marie McKearney can be contacted on 01223 823552. OpenOut packs are available from CUSU and a member of the Open Outteam will contact anyone who makes a report, although reports canbe made anonymously.Further information about Open Out and the Police Liaison Officerscan be found at www.gaylinkscambs.org.uk.

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 11BisexualityBisexuality means being attracted to people of both sexes. You mighthave roughly the same number of male and female partners, or it canmean that you mostly have girlfriends but sometimes go out withmen, or that you have relationships with people you find attractive,whichever sex they are.It can be hard to be bisexual: some people think that you’re in ‘denial’,and others see it as a ‘soft-option’ to please your parents. Peoplewonder why, if you are genuinely attracted to both sexes, you don’tjust pick the opposite and live an easy heterosexual life. You may feelthat it’s hard to bring a same sex partner to a non-LBGT event and thatit’s hard to bring an opposite sex partner to an LBGT event.Biphobia exists in both thestraight and gay communities.Some people won’twant to be involved withsomeone that doesn’tdefine their sexuality aseither rigidly straightor gay. However, thereare lots that are happyto accept that you wantto be with them for whothey are, regardless of theirgender.All CUSU LBGT events are bifriendly

12 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008TranssexualityYour gender, like your sexuality, doesn’t have to conform: gender isfar more fluid than the anatomy we are born with. An umbrella termto describe the whole spectrum of life styles that challenge genderboundaries is transgender, but older terms are still used widely:A transsexual is someone who feels that they are the opposite sex tothat into which they were born. Many, but not all, transsexuals will takethe sex hormones of the gender they feel they are. For male to femaletranssexuals, this results in the development of breasts and smootherfeminine skin. For female to male transsexuals, male muscle tone andfacial hair develop. Some people go on to have surgery to reconstructtheir anatomy into that for their gender. The terms pre-op and postopare not used anymore: many transsexuals choose not to or cannothave surgery, since it is a risky operation.Two thirds of transsexuals identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual.A transvestite is someone that spends time being the oppositegender or for whom some element of that gender appeals. This usuallyinvolves wearing the clothes of and getting in touch with aspectsof that gender.90% of transvestites are heterosexual.Intersex is when a person is born with ambiguous sexual physiology.Usually a gender is chosen by the parents and surgery is applied. Often,when the person grows up this choice will feel wrong for them.Trans or Transgender is the best description because it avoids prescriptiveor limiting labels.Student life in Cambridge is great for discovering yourself. If you feelyou might be trans or want to know more, e-mail anyone on the Exec,and we can put you in touch with other Trans students, if you’d like.You might also wish to join CUSU LBGT’s men’s or women’s e-mail list(see page 5).All CUSU LBGT events are trans-friendly

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 13PerspectivesComing out can be a scary prospect, but coming out inCambridge was actually a great experience in many ways.Everyone was really supportive and accepting, meaningthat in the end coming out was something of a non-event!For the most part people here really don’t care about yoursexuality; they rightly see it as just another part of your personality, nobigger and no smaller than other aspects. I think that the biggest problemsomeone in Cambridge could have when coming out is coming to termswith his or her sexuality themselves, and if this is the case, there is plenty ofhelp available. Mike Flood, SPS Graduate 2007When I first came to Cambridge I didn’t really go out to gayclubs. I didn’t really want to be part of the scene becauseI had the impression of it being sleezy and unwelcoming.I was also nervous, even though id been out for severalyears. I didn’t really know many people who were openabout their sexuality in College. This all changed very quickly. I becamefriends with Rosie, our LGBT officer at Jesus, and met loads of mega friendlypeople. We started going out to gay pubs and to CUSU’s LBGT night, andI had an amazing time. Throughout my entire time at Cambridge thingsonly got better and better. The worries and apprehension faded and werereplaced by friends that I look forward to seeing on Tuesday. Almost everyoneI’ve met has been incredibly welcoming and accepting. Cambridge isthe most open, supportive and accepting place I have ever been. It rules!Matt Kitching, PhD student, Natural SciencesBeing a transgender student in Cambridge is great fun.Being accepted as a woman was very important to me;the women’s group was very supportive and accepted meinstantly. Cambridge students are very accepting, as aresome Colleges and Departments, although others still lagebehind the times. When I have had problems, CUSU LBGT and CUSU havebeen very supportive. When I first came out my dress sense was appalling:the tall beautiful buxom blonde image of myself in my mind didn’t seem tostare back at me from the mirror. My friends soon helped to put my dresssense and make-up right. Heather Peto, PhD

14 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008PerspectivesFreshers’ week at Jesus (2001) seemed designed solelyfor straight students to get drunk and pull each other.The term ‘gay’ appeared to be quite new to Jesus -it’s abig college yet had no undergraduate LBGT representative-but I was met with earnest disbelief rather thandisapproval. ‘Hmmm,’ I thought to myself, ‘there is potentialhere’. Then I ran to the nearest gay pub, got drunk and tried topull people. The next day I contacted CUSU LBGT and offered to bethe Jesus representative. Thus began a happy career of fly posteringand general pestering and soon Jesus felt a bit pinker. Cambridge Universityis an accepting place but giving it a nudge in the right directionnow and again is worth the effort. Indeed, it is my dream that, byrumour and illicit marketing, I will convince a year of applicants thatJesus is ‘the gay college’ and by doing this, to make it so…Rosie Snajdr, Faculty of EducationComing out as bisexual in college was a completelypositive experience. It was only as stressful as I madeit. Reactions ranged from disinterest to warmth; no oneminded and some were happy for me. I have never hadany problems being out in Cambridge. I’ve always beenaware of things to do and places to meet other gaypeople. It’s not something I really needed but it’s good to know thatit’s there. I think that for a bisexual person you want acceptance by thegay community as well as everyone else. You don’t want to be seen asjust curious or confused. I’ve always felt accepted here and I’ve neverfelt pressured. Efforts to make events inclusive and gay-friendly ratherthan just for gay people were great for me as I never felt out of place.Ben Shepherd, Graduate Student 2005

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 15Relationships“Normally I have girlfriends, but that’s not always the case. Wemet in Unique; I knew some of his friends and spent most of thenight with them. Later on the dance floor we kissed. When the musicstopped and the lights came up we went our separate ways. I think hefelt embarrassed – he couldn’t make eye contact with me for months.As I grew closer to his friends, our friendship groups became one, buthe was still distant with me. I spent a lot of time thinking about himand wondering why he wouldn’t talk to me. Then, about six monthsafter we first met we ended up at the end of a table at a mutual friend’sbirthday. There was no choice but to talk to each other. Two weekslater he asked me out. He was my first ever boyfriend, and”someone I cared for so much.“My last relationship only lasted two weeks, and I didn’t exactlyfeel good when it ended, but we’ve stayed very close friends. Istill care about him and I still want him back, but I don’t think it wasright for him. What he did show me when we were together was thatI wasn’t a lost cause; I was capable of being cared for. He made merealise I wouldn’t be spending my life alone. I’d had a very hard timecoming to terms with my sexuality, I’m not there yet, but he helped methrough a lot of it and, as my best friend, is hopefully going to”help me through the rest.“We’d been friends since she came up to college and we’d metafter a freshers’ event in the bar that I’d been working at. I don’tknow how we ever started talking because I thought she was the mostbeautiful woman I’d ever seen and stuttered around all night like afool. After a torturous month of becoming really close friends andvainly attempting to disguise our mutual adoration, we got to a pointwhere everyone around us knew what was going on better than wedid. We were so sure that the other wasn’t at all interested, but wewere becoming closer and closer, until she took a chance and kissedme. Is sounds terribly corny, ‘she was my best friend, and now”we’re in love’; but sometimes that’s how it happens.

16 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008SexSometimes it can seem as if everyone is having sex: your friends,the couple in the room next door, people on the TV.The truth is, some people are having sex, and some aren’t, and it doesn’tmake anyone better or more cool if they are having it. What’s more, ifyou do choose to have sex you should remember that you’re always incontrol. It’s your body and you only have to do what you want.It’s never too late to say no. Sex means different things to differentpeople: it’s up to you to set your boundaries and ultimately sex isalways your choice.If you do decide to have sex, enjoy it. As long as you and your partnerare happy with what is happening, there is no need for guilt or to beashamed. If you both discuss what you like, what you don’t like, whatyou want to do, what you don’t want to do…the key to great sex iscommunication. There are no rules about when you should first havesex with someone you meet; as long as you both agree, you can startin the first ten minutes you know each other or wait ten years. Justbecause someone expects sex from you, it doesn’t mean you can’t sayno. If they don’t respect your choices and feelings, they may not be thebest person to be with.Protecting yourself and your partners is important, but it doesn’t haveto be a big deal. The following are all ‘barrier methods’ – somethingthat places a physical barrier between you and your partner. They’rean easy way to make your sex safer.A condom is a thin protective ‘glove’ that fits over an erect penis.They’re usually made of latex, although there are (more expensive)condoms for people who have latex allergies. Condoms can be usedfor all forms of intercourse, for oral sex (flavoured condoms are available)and can also be used on sex toys.To put on a condom, carefully open the foil packet making sure that youdon’t tear the condom. Before unrolling, squeeze the teat at the end(this is a reservoir to hold the semen when you come) and place the

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 17condom on the end of the erect penis – making sure that the condomis not inside out. Hold the teat, and roll the condom down. After ejaculation,remove the condom as soon as possible, while the penis is stillerect – if you’re withdrawing, hold it on the base of the penis as you doso. Wrap it in tissue paper – you can tie a knot if you’re feeling adventurous– and put it in a bin; don’t flush it down the toilet.As condoms are delicate, they need to be treated with care. Alwaysuse a condom with a kite mark or a European quality mark, check theuse by date and never store in a wallet or back pocket – the heat andpressure will cause it to degrade. For intercourse use a water-basedlube with latex condoms, such as KY Jelly; an oil-based lube will causethem to perish. KY Jelly is available from all chemists, including Bootsand Superdrug. Sachets of lube are also on sale for 10p from CUSUReception.Femidoms are like ‘reverse condoms’; it fits inside the vagina for intercourse.They can also be used inside the anus for anal sex.Oral shields or dental dams are thin sheets of latex which can beused when giving oral sex to women or when rimming. They are availablein different flavours. As they are latex based, it’s important not tobring any oil-based lube into contact with them - this includes oilbasedlube like Vaseline, as well as lipstick and lip salve. It’s not alwayspossible to tell if something can be used as a homemade oral shield;for example, microwavable Clingfilm has large pores that make it unsuitable.Latex gloves can be worn for fisting and fingering.All of these are available cheaply from CUSU Reception. Free condoms andlube are also available from LBGT pubs and clubs, and from DHIVERSE, aregional HIV and sexual health charity, which can also provide femidomsand oral shields. CUSU LBGT also has a selection of free condoms and oralshields; email welfare@cusu-lbgt.com if you would like some.Sex

18 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008Sex between womenWomen that have sex with women have as much sex as anyone else,and need to take safer sex precautions as much as anyone else. Becausetransmission of HIV and STIs is less common between women,and because queer women have been traditionally regarded as lesslikely to have casual sex, we’re generally regarded as a low-risk groupfor STIs.Whatever you’ve heard, you still need to take care of yourself and beaware of the risks when you’re having sex.The precautions that you’ll need to take will differ according to whatkind of sex you’re having. If the sex you and your sexual partner havecould allow for infections to be transmitted, it is best to assume nothing,and take safer sex precautions in order to protect yourself. Use abarrier such as a dental dam when you’re going down on each other,and avoid fluid bonding. If you want to do stuff involving penetration,such as fisting or using toys, use gloves, condoms and lube. If you areconsidering stopping using protection, you and your partner mightwant to seriously consider having sexual health tests, for the full rangeof STIs (see page 24).Even if you’re in a steady monogamous relationship, you need to besure that you are safe, so don’t have unprotected sex unless you’re sureof the risks. If you’re fingering or going down on each other, be awareof what’s involved with fluid bonding and if in doubt, use a barrier.The best thing you can do to protect yourself and your partner is to behonest with each other about your sexual histories, and have a sexualhealth test at a GUM clinic. If either you or your partner have sores orcuts in your vagina or anus or on your mouth or hands, the risks ofinfection are a lot higher: use gloves, use an oral shield, take care andmake your sex safer.In general, kissing, touching, cuddling and holding are largely STIfree. However, cold-sores (a version of the herpes virus) may be passedon through kissing and close physical contact may help pass on scabies.

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 19Sex between womenFingering is using the fingers to stimulate the clitoris and labia – thelips of the vagina – or penetrating the vagina or anus. It’s fairly safe, butbe careful – don’t risk tearing the skin outside orinside the vagina or anus. Use lube and gloves ifyou want and take it slowly. To lower the risk oftearing the skin inside the vagina, make sureyour fingernails aren’t sharp.Oral sex; going down; cunnilingus; isusing the tongue and mouth to stimulatethe clitoris and vulva. It’s relatively low risk,although if you have cold sores around yourmouth and don’t use a barrier like an oralshield you could give your partner herpes.Rimming is stimulation and penetration ofyour partner’s anus with your tongue. There is arisk of infection, mainly of Hepatitis A, so use anoral shield.Sex toys come in all shapes and sizes; some takebatteries (vibrators) and some don’t (dildos). Ifyou’re going to share them it’s important that youprotect yourself. Use a fresh condom every timeyou switch, and always clean them afterwardsusing hot soapy water. If they’re battery operated,be careful not to submerge the battery compartmentand if they’re electric, keep well away from water.Fisting is penetration of the vagina or anus with thefist. It’s easy to tear the skin inside the vagina or theanus and it’s possible to seriously rupture the anus if notcareful. Use gloves and plenty of lube, take it slowly, andlisten and respond to your partner.

20 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008Sex between menIt is a common stereotype that gay men have a lot of sex or are verypromiscuous. Unsurprisingly, as with people of all sexualities, there aresome people who are having lots of sex, although the majority probablyaren’t. There’s no reason to feel pressured into having sex just becauseyou think you have some gay stereotype to live up to. However, atthe same time if you enjoy having sex then there’s no reason to stop orfeel guilty. The important thing is to not let peer pressure (or even pressureon a personal level) influence your decisions: whether you want towait for the right person or are quite happy with it, the choice is alwaysyours.Unprotected sex between men can carry high risks – just as unprotectedsex between a man and a woman can. Unprotected anal sex can comewith a high risk of HIV infection as well as many other STIs.Never assume that somebody doesn’t have any STIs – itmay be the case that they do not know themselves. Don’ttake a risk because you know the person, or because they‘don’t seem the type’. The key thing is to act responsiblyat all times. The most important thing when having sexis communicating effectively and clearly with yourpartner – this should ease any nerves or worries. Hereare some of the things you can do:In general, kissing, touching, cuddling and holdingare largely STI free. However, cold-sores (a version of theherpes virus) may be passed on through kissing andclose physical contact may help pass on scabies.Mutual masturbation or wanking is masturbatingeach other, often using your hands. It’s fairly safe as long asno semen gets in any cuts or sores. There is a risk of wartsbeing passed on though this is relatively unlikely.Fingering is using the fingers to stimulate the anusor penetrate the anus and stimulate the prostate. It’sfairly safe, but be careful – don’t risk tearing the skin

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 21Sex between menoutside or inside the anus. You can use lubricant (“lube”) and latex gloves– most importantly, take it slowly. To reduce the risk of tearing the liningof the anus, avoid fingernails which are too sharp.Oral sex; going down; blow jobs; giving head or fellatio is usingthe tongue and mouth to stimulate the penis. It’s a little less risky thananal sex without a condom, but if you have cold sores around yourmouth and don’t use a barrier you can give your partner herpes. It’s alsosafer if you don’t get semen or pre-cum in your mouth, especially if youhave cuts or ulcers or a throat infection. It’s best to use a condom – a flavouredcondom if you don’t like the taste – but if you don’t use one, remembernot to brush your teeth immediately before or after as this canmake small cuts in your gums. If necessary, chew gum instead.Anal sex or fucking is inserting your penis into your partner’s anus,or the other way round. Most importantly, to minimise the risk of STIs,you should always use a condom unless you have both been tested fora range of STIs at your local clinic. There’s no natural lubricant so makesure you use lots of KY Jelly or another water-based lube as oil-based lubricants(such as Vaseline) will degrade the latex of the condom, causingit to tear. Get in a comfy position and start off slowly and gently – if it ispainful, stop and take a break. It can take time to relax and start enjoyingit, so be patient and don’t try to rush things. Unprotected anal sexcan carry a very high risk of HIV transmission – make it safer by using acondom.Rimming is licking and penetrating your partner’s anus with yourtongue. There’s a risk of Hepatitis and many other STIs so it’s best to usea latex oral shield, which are available from CUSU or often also your localpharmacist.Fisting is penetration of the anus with your fist. It’s easy to tear the skininside the anus and it’s possible to seriously rupture the anus if not careful.It can take much experimentation in order for your partner to be ableto fit his entire hand in your anus without pain or tearing, so if trying thisgo very slowly, and use gloves and plenty of lube.

22 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008Getting testedAs part of a responsible attitude to your sex life and your body youmight want an STI test. Having a ‘Sexual Health MOT’ is an easy way toprotect yourself and your partners.It can be empowering to find out that you don’t have an STI; if you dohave one, you can then make choices about your sex life and protectthe people that you have sex with.The easiest way to be tested is to visit a Genito-Urinary Medicine orGUM clinic. It’s free and totally confidential: there’s no need to giveyour contact or doctor’s details. You can also be checked through yourGP, although this means that the results will be kept with your recordsand could potentially cause problems with employers in the future;we always recommend visiting a GUM clinic before seeing your GP.The GUM clinic in Cambridge is Clinic 1a and is located at Addenbrooke’sHospital. For more information or to arrange an appointmentcall (01223) 217774.When you arrive at Clinic 1a, you’ll be asked to fill in various forms andgiven a number. You’ll then be called to see a doctor who’ll determinewhich tests you need. Even though it’s not a pleasant experience, thetests are quick and only slightly uncomfortable – the benefits far outweighany discomfort or embarrassment you may feel. The staff atGUM clinics will have seen and heard it all; whatever your problemor whatever you want to know, don’t be afraid to talk to them aboutanything.It’s also possible to be vaccinated against Hepatitis B at Clinic 1a; thisis recommended for all sexually active gay men and only takes threeinjections. The staff are always happy to give out condoms and anytreatment you receive is free.There are many STIs. Here are some of the most common:

CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008 23Chlamydia: A sexually transmitted infection caused by the bacteriumChlamydia trachomatis. It is a common, treatable infection, whichoften has no symptoms in men or women unless it leads to complications.It is now estimated that Chlamydia affects 1 in 12 women betweenthe ages of 16 and 24. Condoms are effective in preventingspread of the infection.Hepatitis B: Highly infectious disease of the liver. Vaccination recommendedfor sexually active gay men. Some people may carry Hep Bwithout showing symptoms. Other viruses affecting the liver such asHepatitis A (for which there is also a vaccine) and Hepatitis C (for whichthere is no vaccine) can be passed on sexually.Herpes: The same virus which gives people cold sores. This is passedon by direct contact with skin which has the herpes virus in it, eg justbefore, during and after a cold sore. To prevent, use a barrier method.Pubic Lice: Lice which live in the pubic region. These are passed onthrough close personal contact including sharing clothes. The onlymethod of protection is to not get too close.Scabies: An infection of tiny mites that are too small to see. It can beeasily spread by close contact and by sharing towels etc...Syphilis: This is a curable infection, if treated early enough, whichyou can have without showing symptoms. To reduce the risk use acondom, although this does not offer total protection as syphilis canbe transmitted through skin-to-skin contact.Warts/HPV: HPV is a virus that sometimes shows up as warts whichcan be around your genitals or anus. There is a link between HPV inwomen and cervical cancer. HPV is passed on by direct contact withwarts. To reduce the risks, use a barrier method.For more information visit the LBGT sexual health mini-site or checkout the CUSU Cambridge Guide – go to:http://www.cusu-lbgt.com/help_and_support/sexual_health.STIs

24 CUSU LGBT The Freedom Book 2008HIV & AidsRecent statistics reveal that an estimated 58,300 adults were living withHIV in the UK at the end of 2004, of whom 19,700 (34%) were unawareof their infection. In 2005, there were at least 6,727 new diagnoses of HIVand in 2004, the most recent year for which full statistics are available,over 7,100 people were diagnosed, the highest ever figure to date.HIV stands for Human Immunodeficiency Virus. The virus attacks thebody’s immune system and eventually those infected with HIV can developAIDS – Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. You can’t catchAIDS; only people that are HIV positive may eventually progress to AIDS.HIV is carried in semen, vaginal fluid, blood and breast milk. Itcan be caught by having unprotected sex, sharing needles, bloodtransfusions (in some countries where blood is not screened) andbreast feeding.It cannot be caught by touching, sharing soap, sitting on the toilet,working next to someone that is HIV positive…There is no cure or vaccine for HIV. There are some drugs which can helppeople living with HIV to slow their progression to AIDS, and there is agreat deal of medical research in the field. However, most of the currenttreatments have significant side effects. It’s important to take the risk ofHIV seriously.If you are a student living with HIV, CUSU’s HIV & Sexual Health Officercan give confidential information on support and services available.There is a termly meeting of the CUSU HIV Support Group on, or as nearas possible, to the first Thursday of the fifth week of each term: e-mailhiv-sexualhealth@cusu.cam.ac.uk in confidence for detail. DHIVERSE, thelocal HIV and sexual health charity, also provides a range of confidentialservices for people living with and affected by HIV/AIDS including counselling,peer support groups, hardship funds, information and advocacyand complementary therapies.