His Lady Mistress

178 His Lady MistressIn a dead voice, she continued. ‘I didn’t even know whatthe law was. If I had...I might have thought to hide thingsbefore I ran for help. But I couldn’t believe he was dead...’Her ragged breath sliced at him. ‘God—what a little fool Iwas...how could I have not believed it... Do you have anyidea what it does to a man? He’d put the pistol in hismouth... When they came...they said it was self-murder andthey started to take everything...he was wearing Mama’swedding ring.’‘Verity,’ he whispered, seeing again the terrified child staringout of her haunted eyes. He knew exactly what a pistolfired into the mouth would do to a man. That she should haveseen such a thing... His guts churned, leaving a sour, metallictaste in his mouth. Words strangled in his throat and hereached for her.She jerked away and his hands dropped to his sides. Thedeadened voice continued, chilling him to the core. ‘I beggedthem to leave the ring...to let me have it, but they said everythingwas...was forfeit... everything. So I ran upstairs andstuffed what I could into the chest... his books...hissword...the medals. Then I dragged it into my bedchamberand used the sword to scratch away part of the ‘‘W’’. Whenthey came up...I...I lied, said it was mine. I’d put my ownclothes on top...’ She shuddered. ‘They didn’t believe meand they started to drag it out, but the magistrate, Sir John,came. And the Rector. I don’t think they believed me either,but they made the men leave me the chest at least and hisjournal. Everything else went...’‘Oh, God. Verity...’ He stopped. Her eyes were blank, seeingonly a nightmare past. He had no idea what to say anyway.Had she ever told anyone this before? He tried to imagineher telling the Faringdons. And felt sickened.‘I was so angry,’ she whispered. ‘Because of what he’ddone. And then I hated myself for...for being angry. But allI could think was that he’d finally abandoned me, that hehadn’t loved me at all. I wanted to hate him. But it hurt so