His Lady Mistress

270 His Lady MistressShaking, he put the letter down on his desk and staredblindly out of the window. The letter stabbed deep. Her firstconcern had been to make sure no one else suffered for heractions—not even the servants. He had to go after her. Explainthat it wasn’t her fault...that it was his. If she wouldsee him...She thought he didn’t want her. Last night had been onehurt, one insult too many, even if he hadn’t meant it thatway. The knowledge that she had left him hammered in hisbrain. All he could see was Verity’s stricken eyes, the woundhe had dealt her reflected in them, staring up at him, as asingle tear spilt over in gut-wrenching silence. He now knewthe pain of weeping silently, the dreadful cost of hiding everyhurt deep within.Verity’s voice...Max, I’m sorry...I never realised howbadly you would feel it...and something else...I used to thinkof you every year, how you helped me plant the bluebells...The significance of the date took him like a bayonet thrust.He closed his eyes in pain as he understood why she hadcome to him. She had come to him for comfort, unable tobear her pain alone any longer. And he, arrogant fool that hewas, had thought to take what he wanted, what he needed.The knowledge of what he had done splintered inside him,jagged shards tearing him apart. All the time he had thoughtshe didn’t want him, she had believed that he didn’t wanther. Last night her need for comfort had finally brought herto him. And then, despite her own pain, she had offered himcomfort. Only to be rejected. Again. One time too many.There was room in his brain for only one coherent thought.He had to go after her. He had no idea what he was goingto say to her, but he’d have to say it anyway. Whatever ittook to stop her leaving him.I cannot bear to be the cause of pain for you. Would shebelieve that losing her would be the deepest pain of all?