His Lady Mistress

280 His Lady MistressPapa. That you needed comfort as well. I never meant to teaseyou... I...I know you don’t want me that way. Almeria explainedit all. Why you wish Richard to inherit, but...’ Hervoice shook but she forced it on. ‘It might be all right...thebaby might be a girl. If you’ll just tell me where to live.’His grip on her hands tightened fiercely. ‘Here,’ he said.‘With me. With our child.’She shook her head, tugging against his grip. ‘No. I can’t.Not if it means you sit there every night trying to forget mein a bottle of brandy.’Pain shot through him. What woman wanted a sot for ahusband?Her next words put him right. ‘I won’t let you destroyyourself because of me. The...the way Papa did.’‘Verity.’ His voice cracked. ‘What are you saying?’She looked straight at him, her eyes bleak. ‘I loved him somuch, Max. He was all I had, but he didn’t want me. Hecouldn’t even look at me without seeing her ghost...so, Iwon’t...I can’t do that again. Your vow...you’ll hate me...’Understanding pierced him. She blamed herself for her father’sdeath. Believed she had destroyed him. And that, if sheremained, he would drink himself to death because of hisvow. He stared at Verity’s slender hands, lost in his grasp.She had blamed her very existence all these years.Somehow he must free her from the nightmare. ‘Verity—it wasn’t your fault. He was sick. He didn’t know what hewas saying.’She met his gaze and whispered, ‘I know. I understand thatnow. That’s why...there’s more, you see. The night hedied—it was my birthday. My fifteenth birthday. He hadn’tspoken to me all day. I’d tried so hard and he wouldn’t evenlook at me. I...I was...’‘Hurt?’ suggested Max quietly. ‘Angry?’She nodded, shivering. ‘Yes. So angry I threw away allthe laudanum. Every last drop.’He shut his eyes briefly, remembering Richard’s com­