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Issue 65 - Tse Qigong Centre

Issue 65 - Tse Qigong Centre

Issue 65 - Tse Qigong Centre

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like and do you feel comfortable? All of which are prettysubjective questions.From experience and from talking toother martial arts enthusiasts, many teachershere do not ask for payment – cue alarmbells and fanfare heralding one’s entryinto the web of guanxi. The standardphrase that people use is that theyjust want to be your ‘friend’, whichtranslates as ‘I have plans foryou’. If someone lets you payfor teaching they are doingyou a big favour, heave a bigsigh of relief and give themthe money - you are beingpartially released fromsome of the obligations ofguanxi. I ended uptraining with someone Iliked, who is unusual inthat he is verystraightforward andhasn’t treated me muchdifferent from hisChinese students, all ofwhom pay a small fee.The irony of course is thatwhen people arestraightforward in this wayyou’d be happy to help themif they asked a favour of you.My point about guanxi iswhat we would call ‘emotionalblackmail’ is a part of everyday lifein China and you have to be strongand clear in yourself to deal with it.“Guanxi iswhat we would callemotional blackmail”Often if someone is kind to you there’s a reason, and if youcan be manipulated you will be. The following is a scenariothat has repeated itself many times since we’ve been here:somebody you’ve never met, or only met once or twice,suddenly appears and offers you a gift, you do not want toaccept it but they are very persistent, they will lose face if yourefuse, if you accept it they will at some point appear on yourdoorstep asking for a favour (in our case English Teaching)which is their right since you accepted a gift from them. Doyou : a) Refuse the gift in the first place and let them loseface; b) Agree to teach their son, daughter, cousin, cat, dog,gerbil, etc. English; c) Act insane in the hope that they will allgo away; or d) Acceptthe gift but tell them you’re too busy andgive them a gift in return. Of course, theproblem is more complicated when theDean of your Department pulls the samestunt. Being confronted with this problemon a monthly, if not weekly basis, I find ithard to resist drawing analogies withpushing hands.That said, when you do form a real friendship withsomeone it is amazing what doors open and the extent towhich people will go out of their way for each other. In thesecases friendship often ends up approximating to familyrelationships with old friends often referring to each other astheir ‘brother’ or ‘sister’. In conclusion I would say that I havecome to value the clear guidelines and boundaries of the <strong>Tse</strong><strong>Qigong</strong> <strong>Centre</strong> and the sense of family that anyone who hasbeen a member for any length of time feelsBy Peter AnderssenQi Magazine Jan/Feb 2003 page 41

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