Read PDF - Southwinds Magazine

Crocs on ParadeAnyone with any sense of taste atall can easily determine thatThe Blue Moon Bar has ablue-collar element to it. It could bebecause the TV is usually showingprofessional wrestling. The kaleidoscopeof colors put out by theplethora of neon beer signs is sovaried that it would put toshame to the rainbow thatNoah must have seen whenthe rain stopped. There areseveral condom machines inthe gent’s room with padlocks on themthe size of Goliath’s head. The sign over the urinal statesthat the water emanating from that particular plumbingfixture is not fit to drink. That’s something that one doesnot find in the men’s room at the Ritz Carlton. About halfthe men who come into The Blue Moon Bar wear wife-beaterT-shirts. Some are black and have orange Harley-Davidson logos on them.It struck me, then, as incongruous to see some preppy,30-something men all wearing Lacoste polo shirts, khakitrousers and cordovan L.L. Bean loafers (no socks) sitting atthe bar one day. There were just three of them at the bar.One had on a pink Lacoste polo shirt, one had on a lavenderLacoste polo shirt and one was wearing a pastel greenLacoste polo shirt. They were all wearing dark glasses withcords that kept the glasses from, say, falling over the sidewhile yachting or falling into the water while bobbing forapples on Halloween.Usually the bar is lined with regulars, most of whomare hoping that Doobie will drop something by accidentEasily Accessible to Gulf, ICW& World Famous John’s Pass• Open 7 Days a Week• Public Pump Outs (at slip)• Gas, Diesel & Propane• Non-Ethanol Fuel• Wet & Dry Slip Dockage• Monthly & Transient Rentals• Ice, Beer & Snacks• Monitoring VHF Channels 16/ 68• Fishing Charters• Boat Club• Close to Shopping/Restaurants• Propeller Reconstruction• Marine Supplies• Free WiFi• Liveaboards WelcomeWalking distanceto the beachHarbormaster:Dave Marsicano CMM503 150th Ave.Madeira Beach, FL(727) 399-2631www.madeirabeachfl.goPlease contact for newlow monthly ratesAll Major Credit Cards Acceptedbehind the bar and have tobend over to pick it up. Thetight leather pants that shewears make this a cannotmisssight, a chance to seebeauty in action. The lasttime it happened I wasthere. The collective suckingin of air by many menat the same time nearly depletedthe room of all its oxygen.This day, however, all the regulars weresitting at the tables. There wasn’t much talk. I couldn’t putmy finger on it, but I thought there was tension and uneasein the room. The three identically dressed guys at the barwere trying to chat up Doobie.“Many people from Yale come in here?” asked the manwith lavender shirt and blonde hair that was cut short.“If you’re Scandinavian, the answer is ‘yes,’ afterthey’ve gotten out,” Doobie replied. The man with theblonde hair didn’t get it. All the regulars did, though, andthey laughed appreciatively. The three preppy guys lookedat their beers. There was something going on that they didn’tquite understand.The lavender shirt guy tried again. “How long has theBM been here?” he asked Doobie.Doobie stopped cold. She hesitated for a minute andthen looked the lavender shirt right in the eye and saidevenly, “How long has the what been here?”“The BM,” said the lavender shirt. It had gotten realquiet in the bar. All the regulars were listening intently.“Are you referring to The Blue Moon Bar?” Doobieasked slowly and directly.“Yeah,” said the lavender shirt.“Right,” said the pink shirt.“Right on,” said the pastel green shirt, putting his sunglasseson top of his head.“And you called it the BM? Why did you do that?”Doobie inquired.“Because we are pretty cool guys. We hang out at a lotof cool places. And we always give them our own name,our imprimatur, if you will,” said the pink shirt. “This isthe BM.”Doobie spoke evenly again. The pretty cool guys didn’tknow that when Doobie put the tone in her voice that itnow carried she was very serious and very peeved. Thebar’s regulars knew the sound instinctively. If they werebreathing you couldn’t hear it. Inside The Blue Moon Bar itwas deathly quiet, as if the House of Usher had just fallen.“Here, friend,” Doobie said calmly, “we call it The BlueMoon Bar, and I would appreciate it if you would do thesame. A nickname that reminds one of a bodily eliminationfunction is not funny and certainly not appreciated. Haveyou boys got that?”“Now, wait a minute,” said the pastel green shirt. “Thisis a free country, and we are exercising our First14 September 2011 SOUTHWINDS www.southwindsmagazine.com