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SHOOTINGIRONMike “Duke” VenturinoTMPhotos: Yvonne VenturinoTHUMB BUSTIN’MUSINGS FROMTHE DUKEYou Know You’reA Gun’Riter If ...Manytimes I’ve been asked by other “gun guys” if Ithought they might be “gun’riter material.” Mostly theymistakenly believe writing a few articles insures themfree hunts to the “Three big As.” That is Africa, Australia orAlaska. Not to mention all the free guns and accessories that gowith the big bucks gun’riters make. Sure! Right! Dream on!Being a fan of Jeff’s Foxworthy’s “You might be a redneckif …” comedy routines, I’ve decided to paraphrase him so youcan judge yourself as to whether you are gun’riter material.If your folks bribed you into going to the senior promwith the loan of their car and some cash but then you tookyour date home immediately after the dance and then droveto the nearest city with a gun store so you could spend themoney on bullet moulds, powder and primers — you may begun’riter material.If during college you didn’t buy the prescribed schoolbooks and instead spent the money on gun magazines, andBall Games?If you have never had any trouble remembering yourwife’s birthday or your wedding anniversary becauseyour mind is practiced at remembering numbersbecause since your early teens you have memorized calibers,powder charges, bullet mould numbers and so forth,gun’riting is probably in your blood.If you have absolutely no interest in any games thatinvolve balls — football, basketball, baseball, tennis,golf, soccer, ping pong or whatever — you have thegun’riter spirit.Likewise, if your TV has never played any gameinvolving any of the above mentioned balls and you onlyhave a fuzzy idea as to what a Super Bowl is but yourDVD Library contains movies like Quigley Down Underand Band of Brothers then you are looking like goodgun’riter material.If a dinner conversation with a table full of friendscenters around the number of grease grooves on yourfavorite cast bullets, along with their shape, alloytemper and sizing diameters, you may be a boringindividual, but likely good gun’riter material.If you are at a gun show, gun store, or shootingmatch and loudly pronounceto your companions youhave all the guns you haveever wanted and then a fewminutes later they catch youshelling out money for a newgun, then you are most certainlygun’riter material. outShellingmoneyIf you wouldrather be castingbullets whileeveryone else iswatching the SuperBowl then you areprobably goodgun’riter material.more bullet moulds, powder, and primers, then you may begun’riter material.If in college you majored in journalism although youseldom read a newspaper, then you’re shaping up to be goodgun’riter material.If the college you attended mandated a student have aminimum 2.00 grade point average to graduate and you hada 2.10 average, and your friends still chide you for beingan overachiever, then you were probably heading down thegun’riter career road from the very beginning.If you met the perfect girl and decided to get married but hadto sell some guns to afford traveling to your own wedding, thenyou are getting close to becoming a gun’riter. That’s especiallytrue if over the next 30 or so years you never let her forget thesacrifice you made for her.If You’ve Ever …Thought having 200 pounds of pig lead ingots on thedining room floor is a good idea …If you’ve ever been excited buying a gun at a gunshow and when you get home you see you already haveone in your safe …You find yourself digging deep into your gun safe(safes?) and regularly saying, “Hey, I forgot I had this!” …If you find yourself saying, “But honey, 5,000 roundsof .308 isn’t enough!” …When you honestly think reading 35 year old GUNSMagazines — you bought on the newsstand 35 yearsbefore — is a really fun way to spend an evening …When you move you need to hire a 28 foot Pensketruck just to haul your ammo …If your desk is cluttered with hundreds of bullets andcartridges that you “need for photo props,” then it’s likelyyou are a gun’riter and a pretty good one.And lastly, if yourlast thoughts at nightbefore you fall asleepare about the shapeof the next cast bulletyou want to designand not about yourwife’s shape, thenit is likely you haveIf your desk is cluttered been a gun’riter forwith hundreds of bullets a long, long time.and cartridges that are used Maybe tooas photo props, then you long?*after all. may already be a gun’riter!26 WWW.AMERICANHANDGUNNER.COM • MARCH/APRIL 2010