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Family Faces Cancer Together
According to St. Charles resident Linda Abendroth,
her breast cancer diagnosis in the spring of
2007 was difficult for the entire family to accept.
“I wasn’t even sure how to tell our children, who
were 13 and 16 years old at the time,” she says.
“When we did, my son, who is the youngest, just
cried. It was the day before his birthday and all he
could think about was that there was a chance that
his mom could die.”
The grief that he expressed was similar to the
reaction of her extended family. “My brother had
lung cancer and died during surgery at age 47, the
exact same age that I was,” says Linda. “I think
that my mother, and many other relatives, thought
they were going to lose me, too. That fear caused
some of them to pull away when I needed them
most.”
Finding that support missing, Linda and her
husband Dan visited LivingWell and immediately
got involved. She started out in the breast cancer
support group, and later tried Zumba Latin dancing,
yoga, massage and Culinary Comforts, and he
became a member of the Caregiver support group.
“LivingWell also helped our kids deal with their
pain,” she says. “Our son, in particular, took part
in the art therapy class, and soon was helping out
the younger participants there. My daughter was
part of the Varsity Colorguard for St. Charles East
School that volunteers at and supports the center.”
“It was a blessing to be around people that understood,
there was a kinship there,” says Linda. “We
all face the same kind of issues and we all learn
from each other. At the core, death is a fear that
we all have, and from that you begin to examine
your fears, wishes and dreams for the time that
you might have left. That is OK to share with
those walking that same path.”
Linda says that she also remembers what her
doctor told her when she was first diagnosed. “I
initially cried and told her that I was worried about
my kids and how they would react,” she says. “She
told me that they would take my lead, and that has
been true. I have been fortunate to be able to take
the lead of those at LivingWell, who have offered
me hope and optimism.”
Not that there haven’t been challenges. Although
Linda is currently in remission from her Stage II
breast cancer, she had to undergo a year of rigorous
treatment and her job was eliminated before
she could return. She was also recently diagnosed
with sarcoidosis, a chronic lung condition. Dan
says that he also had psychological challenges to
overcome in dealing with her illness.
“Several years ago I suffered a bout with depression
that was triggered by the loss of our family
pet, who was a part of the family,” says Dan. “My
real fear was that if I had trouble dealing with the
death of a dog, how was I going to deal with this?”
He says that the way he was able to cope was the
connections he made in his LivingWell support
group. “I knew that I needed to take care of myself
so that I could be a support to her, and having
them in my corner helped me to do that. Because
I was the only man in my particular group I think
that I was able to give others a different perspective
as well, and helping others helped me.”
For the family, healing has taken many forms.
Linda spent hours volunteering for the LivingWell
Bridge Walk, and made presentations at area high
schools and businesses to raise funds for the
event. “It was a way to give back, and it was very
fulfilling for me to be able to help,” she says.
And the couple is dancing again. “We missed
it,” says Linda. “We used to go out and dance
together frequently, but my illness stopped all
that. Now we are picking up where we left off.”