SPRING 2006 • NUMBER 130 - Winston Churchill

emove anyone’s wine glass—althoughin some cases, a special glass is providedfor the purpose. If no glass is speciallyprovided, toast-wise people usuallyleave a little wine in their glass,but to make sure, chairmen sometimessay, before any toasts are proposed:“Ladies and gentlemen, please be sureyour glasses are charged.” (I said thatonce and someone remarked, “Ithought my wine was paid for.”)If you ask to charge glasses, it ishelpful to have waiters ready to pouran inch of wine into any glass that hasbeen drained. Try not to force them todrink water—which is barbaric.2) If Loyal Toasts are to be done,always begin with the head of state ofthe country you are in. In all cases, theLoyal Toasts must come immediatelyafter the wait staff has left.3) It is the height of vulgarity toannounce, “John Smith will now proposethe toast to the President.” Theessence of a good toast is spontaneity.If he must introduce the toaster, thechairman just says, “Ladies and gentlemen,Mr. John Smith.” John Smith(usually from his seat) rises and asksthe multitude to “please rise” or “pleasebe upstanding.” Only after they are ontheir feet does he offer his toast, beingas brief as possible:“The President” (“of the UnitedStates” is optional).“The Queen” (“Her Majesty” isusually considered too much).“The Memory of Sir WinstonChurchill.”4) If there is more than one toastthe crowd should be made to sit beforethe next toaster is introduced.5) On occasions where a bandstrikes up the National Anthem after aLoyal Toast is proposed, the multitudewaits until the Anthem is completebefore drinking the toast.UK VARIATIONSby Paul CourtenayIn the UK coffee is usually servedafter the Loyal Toast. Once the mealitself is finished, the table is completelycleared and port glasses laid (if notalready in place). Then come thetoasts, after which coffee is served,smoking is permitted (definitely notbefore this point) and brandy andliqueurs offered.Toasts should not be prolongedaffairs. After the Loyal Toasts, “TheMemory of Sir Winston Churchill”may follow immediately. If a speech isto precede Churchill toast, this createsa problem over whether to delay permissionto smoke and the serving ofcoffee. If the speech lasts for no morethan two or three minutes, I’d delaythe coffee and cigars; but if the speechwill go fifteen minutes or more, Ithink it would be acceptable to havecoffee and cigars etc before the addressand the Churchill toast.Editor’s note: In Britain, coffee is adefinite separate course, whereas in theUSA, dessert and coffee come at youalmost simultaneously. And in theLand of the Free nowadays, to smokeat any point would result in a sputterof coughs and hard looks. So forget it!1971: NEWFIELD NEARLYDISGRACES WSCSU!Finest Hour editor Dalton Newfieldwas a guest at the 1971 Annual Banquetof The Rt. Hon. Sir Winston SpencerChurchill Society of Edmonton, Alberta,where the speaker was Lt-Gen. Sir IanJacob GBE, CB, DL. From Finest Hour19, May-June 1971: we were then theWinston S. Churchill Study Unit.Preferring to rent “black tie” inEdmonton to packing it on anextended holiday, Newfield tried onhis rented tuxedo shortly before thebanquet, only to find the trousers weresize 32. No Adonis, Newfield wearssize 34, but 36 feels so good that hebuys size 38. The only solution was tohave the renter deliver a pair of 38s tothe hotel desk. Newfield thus arrivedwearing blue worsted trousers.Fortunately for the reputation ofthe USA and Old Glory, he was ableto slip in unnoticed, though he wasintroduced to several important peoplewho would look him up and downand say, “Oh yes, Mr. Newfield, I’ve,er, heard of you.” That’s once…Having done some homework,Newfield knew that, as a former Lt.Col., he was allowed, when toastingThe Queen, to add the words “GodBless Her,” a privilege accorded ranksabove major.* Thus when The Queenwas proposed he said the proper wordsand lifted his glass toward his lips.Fortunately Allan Cawsey hadbeen stationed next to Dal by theSociety’s Executive, probably for thisvery purpose, and applied gentle pressure,about two tons psi, to Dal’s arm,thus preventing complete dissolutionof Canadian-American amity, whilethe band played “O Canada” and“God Save The Queen.” Only thenwas Al’s hand withdrawn and Daljoined the nearly 500 others present inthe liquid toast. That’s twice…One of the fine traditions of theSociety is that, at the end of theirannual banquet, they toast “TheHeroic Memory” (of WSC). Before SirIan’s speech, the wine stewards providedglasses of brandy. As the speechprogressed, the level of the brandy inNewfield’s glass got lower and loweruntil, toward the end of the speech, itwas empty. In the meanwhile, Cawsey’sglass remained untouched. (Dalthought Al didn’t like brandy.)Sir Ian finished, Al poured halfhis brandy into Dal’s glass, and therewas the call to the toast. Except forCawsey’s solicitude, Newfield wouldhave had nothing in his glass withwhich to toast “The Heroic Memory”and would probably have cut histhroat. That’s enough!*I have never heard of “God Bless Her”being the prerogative of Lt. Cols., but in theArmy every regiment has a different formula.In my own regiment, for example, we alwaysdrank sitting down, due to our 18th centuryorigins on board ship, where it was impossibleto stand. There are even one or two regimentswhich have permission not to give theLoyal Toast because “I know that your loyaltyis above question.” —PHC ,FINEST HOUR 130 / 44