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“What happened, Bruce?”I could never lie to <strong>my</strong> parents. It just wasn’t in me. They were such straightforward,honest people; lying didn’t make sense in our house. I told <strong>the</strong>m <strong>the</strong> truth. I didn’t likewhat had unfolded, but I felt like I didn’t have any o<strong>the</strong>r choice.My mo<strong>the</strong>r was shocked but not surprised, as this was hardly <strong>my</strong> rst rodeo. She cameover to shower me with love.My fa<strong>the</strong>r, on <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand, was ecstatic. You’d think he’d just won <strong>the</strong> lottery. Hewas so proud his son had fought <strong>the</strong> good ght, defended a woman’s honor, and taughta brute a lesson.The phone rang. My fa<strong>the</strong>r went to take it. I heard him talking to one <strong>of</strong> <strong>my</strong> friends in<strong>the</strong> next room. I didn’t hear much <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> conversation, but only a few highlights.“Yeah?” he said. “Yeah? Okay … you let <strong>the</strong>m know. We’ll be <strong>the</strong>re in twenty minutes.”When he reappeared in <strong>the</strong> kitchen, he was sticking a snub-nosed Colt .38 DetectiveSpecial revolver into his waistband. He looked at me and nodded. “You,” he said. “Getdressed. We’re going out.”“Where are we going?” I said.“That was Bob Ryan. The kid you beat up last night is looking for payback. But hedoesn’t know where you live. Him and his loser friends pulled a knife on Bob in back <strong>of</strong><strong>the</strong> supermarket where he works in downtown Malibu. They know Bob knows where welive. So we’re going into town and we’re going to settle this, once and for all.”My mo<strong>the</strong>r said, “Joe, please, why—”“Quiet,” <strong>my</strong> fa<strong>the</strong>r said. “You heard me. Get dressed.”“What’s with <strong>the</strong> gun, Dad?”“Simple,” <strong>my</strong> old man said, “You’re going to ght this guy in <strong>the</strong> parking lot, whereeveryone can see that you beat him again, fair and square.”“Yeah, but what’s with <strong>the</strong> gun?”“I’m gonna hold <strong>of</strong>f all his friends while you take care <strong>of</strong> business,” he said.“Are you fucking crazy?” I said. “No way.”Something similar to this had happened once before. When I was only fteen yearsold, I was at <strong>the</strong> movies with <strong>my</strong> fa<strong>the</strong>r when a group <strong>of</strong> four young thugs broke into <strong>the</strong><strong>the</strong>ater exit door. My fa<strong>the</strong>r hated that someone would just knowingly out <strong>the</strong> law likethat. He hated how morality was going to hell in a handbasket in this country. He sawhimself as one <strong>of</strong> <strong>the</strong> last true White Knights, although a bit crazy at <strong>time</strong>s.When <strong>the</strong> gang broke in, <strong>my</strong> fa<strong>the</strong>r told me to wrap <strong>my</strong> belt around <strong>my</strong> st with <strong>the</strong>large buckle dangling down as a weapon. He instructed me to stand behind him andback him up if things went south. Then he marched over to <strong>the</strong> gang and confronted<strong>the</strong>m, ordering <strong>the</strong>m to leave. Not a single person in <strong>the</strong> <strong>the</strong>ater got up to help us. It wasfour potentially armed gang kids against <strong>the</strong> two <strong>of</strong> us.But, <strong>of</strong> course, <strong>the</strong>y left.And <strong>the</strong> day we were supposed to meet <strong>the</strong> linebacker in <strong>the</strong> parking lot, I’m happy tosay that showdown never took place. When we got down to <strong>the</strong> appointed spot by <strong>the</strong>beach, <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r guys were nowhere to be found. The guy never bo<strong>the</strong>red me again.That was <strong>the</strong> end <strong>of</strong> that, except for one thing: I now knew just how far <strong>my</strong> fa<strong>the</strong>r was

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