Winter 2012 Issue - De La Salle Institute

PARENT PLACEall parties to make sure the incident never happens again), aconversation between parents or intervention from the school. Insome extreme cases, the bully can be arrested and minors havebeen put in front of judge in juvenile court.In accordance with the Archdiocese of Chicago Office of CatholicSchools policy, bullying by a student or students may result insuspension and/or expulsion from the school.Detective Melone shared that online bullying is such an importanttopic that the Illinois Legislature passed House Bill 3181 thatbecame effective January 1, 2012. The bill gives schools the powerto discipline students up to & including expulsion for makingonline threats against teachers or other students. It does not matterif the threat was made outside of school on their personal computer.What can be done to stop the Cyber-bully? Detective Melonerecommends keeping a record of the time and date of the messagesin question that can assist police in identifying the personbehind the messages. Encourage your child to speak to schooladministration because sometimes this is a problem that can befixed with a simple conversation. If someone threatens your childor family online, contact your police department. Threats aren’talways empty. According to Detective Melone, many times peoplemean exactly what they say.Encourage your children NOT TO RESPOND to the messages.Responding to the messages just perpetuates the cycle of hatred. Itis a vicious cycle - the bully says something bad, the victim sayssomething worse, the bully says something even more disturbing,and the victim takes it one step further. Eventually, the cycle turnsinto a circle, and when the circle closes, usually it is with a violentencounter or another horrific act of rage. Detective Melone has foundthat responding to the bully will only make the situation worse.Detective Melone reports that bullies are weak people trying tomake themselves feel stronger and more powerful at someone else’sexpense. If you look insideevery bully’s head, you willfind one thing in common —something or someone ismaking them feel insecure.The effects of cyber-bullying can be devastating; there is no wayto know how our children will react. Some take it in stride, whileothers fall apart, feeling driven to suicide, to commit a violentcrime, or other dangerous situations. When you are bullied, thereis serious detrimental effect on the victim’s self-esteem, emotionalwell-being, and sense of personal safety. This includes, but is notlimited to depression, despondence, self-destructive behavior andpoor performance in school. As parents, these are your signs thatsomething might be wrong in a child’s life and should be lookedinto immediately.What should parents do if we find our child is being bulliedonline or in the real world, for that matter? Detective Melonesaid the most important thing parents can do is to be approachableto their children. Parents need to:• keep calm• act with compassion• be supportive• understand that the bullying of today is hurting children inways we never imagined in our own childhood• come down to the child’s level to understand what they aregoing throughCyber-bullying is real, the effects are real, and the consequences arereal. At the victim’s lowest, most painful point, they feel as if thewhole world is against them. As parents, giving them all of yoursupport can help them recover from this most painful of times.Parent Place 13